Atop the World

Yesterday I got the chance to go atop the hills that surround Cal Poly. There was some frustration brewing within me and I felt a need to commune where in a sense I had sojourned before. God always has a way of in a sense of sweeping me off my feet while I meet Him in the hills .

He normally grants me a song, a picture, and some scripture. Yesterday there was a lot more scripture than normally and a lot of it concerned the city of Tyre, I honeslty have no idea what the heck that is all about so I will not mention anything about that besides every passage the wind blew open to was about Tyre. So I am positive God has more to speak about Tyre, but God and I have not had that convo yet.

He led me back to Isaiah, He seems to favor that book while I am in the hills. God has been speaking to me through Isaiah 22 for a long time now,well more like the past month and a half, whenever I am in the mountains or the hills away from civilization and things are quiet and sweet. I have had many misled ideas about the meaning of what the verses within the chapter mean, I remember telling Colin a while back that I thought God was going to give this baptism of the holy spirit that I have been seeking out and that these verses stated it. I don't know if that is going to happen or not or if that even exists but I know something is changing within me. These verses speak of a valley and walls crumbling and crying to the mountains. God is bringing me to the end of me, where the fence is knocked down, where all walls are knocked down and I finally am what God has destined me to be, I am by no means there yet, I am def striving toward that goal thought and It will be awesome to see how God conveys my life story in words when I know everything is changing gnarlycore( gnarly+ hardcore=gnarlycore). I am pretty stoked to say the least.

I felt today God leading me to write impassioned words letting words come out that haven't come out in a long time. I found it was my sensitivity returning to the state of the heavens and God's very heart. I have not been that in tune for a long while. I was relieved to find myself still in a season where I don't have to speak up except prompted. The responsibility fell upon other leaders and it was sweet to see fiery words come and people repenting.I know this probably doesn't mean anything to a lot of you, the before mentioned ramblings. Anyways though I will continue because this is merely a record for me. God is carrying me beyond the broken fence, cracking boulders, and doing amazing things. That is personally really exciting, probably not exciting for you because it is not your own soul that is being divided from the spirit. It's mine though, and that is cool.

JG

Return

Oh pitch that resonates
Resonates within me
Oh dear broken one
Split in two

Dust of the ground
From the largest boulder
Dust turned to mud
Flowing from the father's eyes

If I could cry tears
Enough to water your fields
If I could embrace your cold heart
I would warm it with my fire

Can’t you see child
Don’t be so quick to turn away
Can’t you see child
Return, commune with me

Arise and do not fear
See the daybreak
Arise and see the new dawn
I will carry you

Lift up your hands, feel it
Don’t be so quick to turn away
Lift up your eyes, see these tears
Return, commune with me

Child sing the song I gave you
The day the wind began to sweep your land
Child, pour out your broken cup
The New has come

Redefined...provoking thoughts from this morning

So I sit here, same desk, same chair, same computer but things seem... well, a lot different. As my sister once wisely spoke to me each quarter is a different balance. We should not expect things to stay the same

This morning I woke up at about 3am or so to some coyotes howling. I sat in bed for a while thinking .I do not exactley remember where my thoughts went but they were trying to make some sense out of my very...well, scattered thoughts as of late. I presume that these coyotes, often depicted howling at the moon, are a perfect example for God to show me that things have in a sense changed very drastically. Light has in a sense begun to pierce through darkness in the literal and figurative. It is by no means a full light only a reflection of the sun but it is light in much darkness and for that I am very grateful.

Here are the thoughts I came to this morning:

God led me to Romans 3:20b it says" ...that every mouth may be closed and all the world may become accountable to God." I would encourage all of you to read this section of scripture because it points out two oftentime missed points in Christianity. One, our ultimate accountability is with the Father in heaven not with our christian brothers.I cannot beging to count the times that my fellow brothers in Christ have made stumbling blocks for me, I am done with that, my ultimate accountability is with God from now on. Two, we as christians cannot sit idle and apathetic. We as Christians must start looking at things correctly, no more of this sin is not really bad if you sleep with someone before you are married, if you look at a woman with lust you are an adulterer, if you eat too much you are a glutten, sin is serious . It is my belief and I will stick to it until God convicts me of perhaps being wrong that the reason there does not exist a true representation of christianity in our culture is because we refuse to be holy as scriptures tells us to be and we do not make it about the personal relationship dealing with the exterior not the heart.

God has been like a skilled surgeon cutting out this part of me for a while I guess you could call it sanctification. My apathy is by no means gone and my laziness is by no means cured but it is on the mend because God is teacing me something quite profound...

This section of scripture comes from Paul explaining the advantage afforded to the jew. He says that they were entrusted with what the NASB calls "oracles of God". That sounds pretty classy I must say. Paul gets really excited about the fact that the jews had these and that they in a sense couldn't screw up the message of salvation because a prophet would come around every so often and turn the people back.These oracles of God are pretty much the prophets, utterances of God, apostles, and basically anyone who has any type of inspiration by God in the time before Paul. Basically the old testement. He explains though that to us as christians we have responsibilities because of the importance afforded to us by being on this side of slavation. This is because Jesus is the last prophet. As it talks about in Hebrews 1:1-2 God...has in these last days spoken to us by His Son" We let Jesus be our prophet, our divine utterance in this age as the Christian. It is all about Jesus and we need to not be apathetic anymore because without a prophet as the old testament has every generation or so we have been two thousand years without our prophet. We have the Holy Spirit inside of us and that is a greater gift. We need to be careful though that we are not so far off and repent. We must understand that the spirit of God is emotional in the same way that Jesus wept when he found out Lazarus had died and he does get grievous. The same heart that makes us shed tears for the lost is within the Spirit of God. He desires earneslty to enter into the unbelieving heart but because of sin he is grieved and has intense pain. We've got to get rid of this sin thing. I suggest we start with the apparent sins that damage out communities first. That is different for each place. Sin has to go.

JG

Angel standing between

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

Fear that strikes me speechless
The angel standing between
bridging the gap...divinity

could it be...
...can this be?

Your sword out of its sheath
face buried, holy ground beneath my feet
yet no sentence was gave

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

Eyes shut, face down on my knees
His holy array, before my very face
splendor, glory, and majesty

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

open hands embrace my face
...Your love displayed
could it be...my God still before me
...can this be?

JG

We forget because we do not take the time to look

Elise and I ended up taking most of yesterday off and decided to go exploring around this beautiful area surrounding San Luis Obispo, CA. We were headed up 40 miles north anyway to do some errands so mine as well take the scenic route. I was reminded of one thing while in the midst of God's vast expanse on our drive and our three mile walk. One we forget oftentimes, infact a lot of the times, because we simply do not take the time to look. I go to school in one of the most beautiful areas of the world and I do not take the time to in a sense smell the roses every once in a while, what a shame.

In my own life I am reminded that God has had to instill and reteach lessons time and time again. I am reminded that all though in a sense I keep my thoughts recorded more than most I do not go back and see the profoundnity of these lessons learned in past times. If we cannot take the time to remember what God has taught us and make it speak as profound we will most certainly lose it.

I was reminded two nights ago when I was talking to my friend Andrew about how life was going how amazing simply stating what God has done is. I stated all that God has done over the course of this school year. What a wonderful thing it was to go back and remember such things. God is so good, so faithful.

JG

Wake

Morning rise, wake!, see the beginning unfold
as golden reflections appear in these panes
to merely capture a glimpse of the Sun
Clouds that have taken you,
forever stirring and brooding
Surely nothing can compare

Wake the moment has come,
on this day I have come to see
reflections turn to Full Glory

Afternoon sun, you see the bluest lake
now transformed by His glory
Ripples of light echo in your very waters
O God of Light, outshining the Sun
Partial is my perception
Different Light, I could dream of such things

Gone are the shadows of the night
on this day I have come to see
this eager anticipation in my heart

Oh Evening coming, how could it be?
that You would carry me by Your cloak and on Your wings
That the You would take me to Your place
Creator and my Maker, come once again
Light that will no longer bend, but that will pierce
On that day, I will truley wake!

Wake the moment has come,
on this day I have come to see
reflections turn to Full Glory

JG

Something Stirring

For those of you that have been in San Luis obispo over the past few days, you know full well that the wind has been very active lately. I can't help but imagine that it happens to be a perfect metaphor for the stirring and in a sense the movement that is happening within a lot of the students here at CalPoly. I think for the first time in a longtime and in the history of the christian church we have realized, more stumbled, by God's grace onto a simple truth about our faith that is in a sense the deepest most profound part of our faith. I would call it revival but I will not use the word because it has become so trite in christian circles. It is Of. We are begining to seek with "ALL."It is a beautiful thing.

"Ask and it shall be given, Seek and you will surely find, Knock and the door will be opened"
-God
"Seek first the kigdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"
-God

I would never mention anything of the full knowledge I have gained I will say though, for those who seek they will find, if such knowledge becomes yours you will fully understand what is happening in this little town on the coast of Cali. Needless to say these past few days I have been meditating and thinking on a lot of the propecies surrounding my life and what God I know through spirit filled indivduals is doing in this small town near the coast and on the larger scale .Needless to say I am excited to see what God does, to see His every word fulfilled in my lifetime. It is greater than I could ever dream, bigger and grander than anything I could percieve. It makes my heart skip a beat and then beat with even greater anticipation. It makes me wear a smile forever on my face.

"This is what I have gained after letting go to grow. In order that I find a deeper truth for my own and my own understanding but ultimatey a deeper meaning in Him. I have lost so much yet have gained every ounce back and am to gain more. That is something! Embarking upon true understanding on the central issue and central understanding that is lacking."

JG!

Cultural identity & lessons form the Storms

(written at SFO)

I was sitting on the plane like I normally do when I have my deep thoughts on my travels to someplace. I was thinking that perhaps culture is an oftentimes missed subject in the Christian church.After some thought on the subject I believe it to be far too neglected. I was thinking though that most of our frustrations lie within the culture and how to in a sense relate to it while still remaining apart from it, shouldn't we focus on it if it the source of our frustation or figure out why? We have never fully understand it as Christians and do a really poor job of teaching God's elect about culture.

I don't believe it is a plan by any means or a piece of knowledge beyond the personal with Jesus Christ. I am simply writing because few without a helpful letter or thought provoking blog will think about such things. I am a means for those who won't look at God's word and get the better or better interpretted plan from Him.The fact remains though that in relating to the culture we need to change our outlook on it. I think foremost we need to change a few of our mindsets on a few key things and I feel myself repetitive in writing things over and over because I write to a specific auidence.

I remember last time I was in san fransisco I wrote something about the homosexual population here or something to that degree that they are a major foundation for art and thought and they are genrally a source for a lot of good in the world.This contributes greatly to the city's culture. It is a city that enjoys intellectual thought and enjoys showcasing how diverse it it a modern day Athens if you will. I think oftentimes we miss the point though as Christians when we look at a city like that, we judge too frequently, and get in the middle when we are supposed to be on the sidelines praying. Sin is the issue but it was always about us relating back to Jesus, we see it all over the gospels. Everything in the entire bible if looked at with an open mind and original intent it was all to point to Jesus. We somehow can't tie Jesus into our culture though for some odd reason as christians why?

I could probably say that we're stupid as a culture of chirstians. I could probably say that we are lazy and don't understand enough about our culture. I would probably be right in making such judgements but if my words here go only to the point of complaining and not helping then what is the point.

Here's what I see about our culture. Art is supposed to make a statement and say something, but what does it do. It really sucks at getting its purpose done unless words are spoken to explain it or some previous knowledge is known about it. I got to go to the Denver Art meusem and I was amazed at the fact that the art was there to trigger a response. A nude mona lisa, eighteen life size bobbleheads etc. Honestly a lot of it was crap, including the building. It was interesting to say the least with its non ninety degree anything but I saw the fact that the snow was dripping into the building they probably should have cared more about longevity than the fact that the asthetics of that one corner.

Our culture doesn’t care about longevity or craft. We have lost the whole point that we have so many art projects in a sense without purpose. We have a world where people are starving and we have a thirty foot dustpan, how bout we act and not say so many words with our painted picture. Couldn’t we have saved the life of someone in the world instead of creating such rediculous things.

America is so much a nation where the mentatility is bliss and the consumtion of ice cream if eliminated could feed the entire world. That is sad. Could it be that I am supposed to stay here. Is it true that I am supposed to be a man that should involve myself in the world and get my hands dirty always being loyal to my Jesus and to no one else. Yes! My whole being cries out and says yes whole heartedly. Opinions of men do not matter anymore…my ultimate accountability partner is in heaven.

This is the point I have lost amidst finding friends being immersed into much and opening up to many. This is what I have gained after letting go to grow. In order that I find a deeper truth for my own and my own understanding but ultimatey a deeper meaning in Him.

I have lost so much yet have gained every ounce back and am to gain more. That is something! Embarking upon true understanding on the central issue and central understanding that is lacking.

JG

Rustle in the Breeze

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh the rustle in the breeze
I see you for once
Oh the thaw in the freeze
I feel every ounce

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh flame that is fanned
and love all refined
Oh kindled this flame
and so it became

Oh fire that now is enraged
and passion no longer caged
Oh breath of God, His very voice
reverberating and resounding, I am called to rejoice

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh nature itself has been set into motion
and dancing and singing in apparent comotion
Oh light that was hidden in darkness these nights
has led to Your glory of wonderful new lights

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

JG

Lessons from Lake Dillon

I am amazed to find how God can speak through the simplest things. That it does not take His Word to make us learn lessons or hear His voice. I guess this is what struck me this morning. God is so desperate to get in touch with his creation that He speaks through any means He can. He is the ultimate pursuer. I forget that so often.

I found myself as I normally do when God chooses to speak, in profound yet simple ways, by a body of water. On this particular morning I found myself aside the frozen waters of lake Dillon in Colorado.

I don't remember whose decision it was to venture out onto the lake. Needless to say though Elise and I decided to venture out onto the frozen stillness. I am still not quite sure what God was trying to speak from this experience but He was speaking so intimately to my ,much like the lake, half frozen heart.

I could hear the ice moaning . Unlike anything I had ever heard.

(pause)

Honestly that is what my heart and mind did they became as still as the very ice that was in the lake when I heard the noises that the lake was making.

(pause)

It is interesting that God chooses to speak to me through His creation and His creation's nature. To have me sit and stand on a lake that was a metaphor for the path God has for my life and my heart. To have me on the first of the year remember that I am nowhere close to spring.To make me see there is much crying and moaning in the process I have set myself on.

Needless to say that was...quite something.

I need not struggle against something that cannot change, to somehow believe I can be any more righteous than the entitelment granted me by Jesus' death on the cross. To somehow believe I can speed up the process of sanctification within myself. To somehow fight when I have a Warrior King soaked in blood and I am the one who wears white. How naive was and am I still?

I have in a sense been building walls when I have been grasped so firmly and put in a place where walls need not be built. I refuse to let God strip me bare, my pride refuses to let go. There is a groaning in my soul because of the undercurrent that is waging war.

As of late I have been in search of what most christians would call "Baptism of the Holy Spirit." I have been in a sense questing for what is now approaching about six months, ever since this season of life began where nothing is defined the same. I have gotten on my knees several times and asked that this gift be given, but it is not time yet, I am still by nature whether I like to admit it or not, flesh.

There is a selfish motive I must confess on my part. I want out of this season so badly. I am not going to lie that this has been the worst quarter of my life. I have gained a lot of what God said He was going to do and I have been given many "treasures of darkness." These are wonderful things to grasp and understand but being in the dark so long I long so desperatley for any light.

God showed me much more from the lake this morning but I feel for simplicity sake I will leave it here.I will say though that God showed me this morning what needs to change with this upcoming quarter...and it is going to look very different. I am redefined as a person and will act according to this man that God has fashioned.

JG

To understand "Father"

So the snow is falling once again. Two blizzards happening in a sense one after the other is a little bit odd. I would say that defies coincidence and obviously in the way that God has to slap me in the face with circumstance, these blizzards are very purposeful.The question obviously is why? But I have stopped asking questions of God because He has stopped answering because it is time to let Him question me. My flesh hates it but it is born of necessity.

Before the snow started falling hardcore this morning I got the chance to get out on my own for the first time since the first blizzard happened and get some errands done. I was thinking what exactley God did with this year and I was like woah that is pretty gnarly.he has given me an understanding of "Spirit" God in its place this year and then also given me an understaning of Jesus in His "right"ful place. I imagine there is far more to understand about the trinity but the one aspect that continues to baffle my comprehension is "Father God." Granted I don't think we can understand Him in His fullness because granted He is Father God, and no one has seen Him in His fullness while still in their flesh. Honestly, though, I would love to understand "Father" God. I know in order to I need to be blameless before Him which I am through Jesus, but I need to be without blame and sin before I approach Him I must declare a choice and keep that decision forever in my heart. That is going to take some work.

I was also thinking this morning that My belief in Jesus as who He is portrayed by the bible is unmoveable now, there is no doubt in my mind He was who He said He was and is who He says He is still. That is fact in my mind. That part is so solid now, and that is honestly very strange to have that aspect of my mind unmoveable. I don't know what made it so solid, it baffles me. It appears God has given me a lot of uninterrupted thought without questions and time to devote myself to sanctification wholly and that is such a wonderful thing.

Oh lord that I might understand the fullness of who You are. That through Your questions I might approach You, as who I am in You, declaring a choice to be blameless in Your eyes, not of my own accord but through Jesus: gift to me of the spirit that dwells within me. I would rather have You than anything else, I declare my choice, and shout fullest praise to You. Pierce this heart that Your nails might only take one blow to saturate. Be still my heart and be kindled and burn. May this snow melt in Your time, that ripples might take place in the water that is to come. Through You Jesus.-Amen

JG

Lonely for the Last Time

It is interesting to find the course and direction that life flows. To see the progression, rise and fall of this mighty powerful river known as life. It is interesting to find myself tonight in a room where I have thrown away all that is unecessary because of a possible move that might happen in the next year or so. I sit in a new room in a sense one of only necessity. I can't help but think though that the reason we love our houses and enjoy being home is the fact that not everything is necessary but there are several layers of unecessity in them. A home is a home because of memories, and the things we did and got to fill up all that empty time known as boredom and all that remains: ticket stubs, paperwork, reciepts, yearbooks, notes, cards, boxes, pictures, and everything else that could possibly fit in your pocket.It is the place where all our junk exists and everything seems to work in unity.

Until we clean up our rooms I don't think we understand though. I ended up throwing away three massive garbage bags full of these things. My walls are mostly bare and in a sense I am moving on toward the unknown toward a path where I can not hide in the room of my childhood and childhood is gone and manhood is dawning, it is a mighty strange change.

The prospect that God has said as of late scares me half to death. He is saying perhaps that I might remain in America not go overseas as I always dreamed, I will stay if God wants but the idea of living in a culture such as ours is honestly... the thought of it is disgusting. Maybe that's precisely why He is calling me to be in the culture here, because I am disgusted with it. This disgust for it will lead me into action.

I was thinking as I was walking up the stairs that the blame that i use to place on the american church is so ill placed. I mean look at the culture, they are simply, desperatley trying to do something that is exciting and do what they can. The heart is so pure they simply don't know how to do it. So few know of the methods to such things.That is why they want the best sound systems, pastors try the newest techniques trying to be relevant and save someone out of their own strength, the best productions etc... and they lose the point entirely. People give out of what they can they don't have time they have money. Our culture as americans doesn't lend itself to true christianity but thank God that He judges the intent not the actual action. I'm sure someone much wiser than I can probably figure out to make it work, but honeslty it is so hard to be a true christian being led by the spirit, fully surrendered in our culture.

We lose all understanding completely in our culture. I want people to return to the way things use to be about 50 years ago where people would show up unexpectedly. Where plans didn't dictate things. Where people were guided by the spirit and weren't so frustrated by the lack of downtime in culture. Where people generally were friendly making friends in every circumstance and were loyal to friends of long ago. Where a conversation mattered more than an A and time spent together was better than that extra couple dollars on the paycheck.

I want people who feel lonely to feel lonely for the last time. I want culture to change. That is the path God has dictated and ordained and I am scared to death to tackle the untangible but with God I can do all things. No idea how, perhaps that is why I have a week and half where there is literally nothing to do. There is another blizzard coming as if the three and a half feet was simply not enough we need another two, gosh. God is forcing me to be still and silent before Him to think how this is going to happen. And where better to think about such things than the room which influenced me so much growing up. God's pretty brillant that way!

JG

The Glass Metaphor

It seems God has blessed me with forty minutes or so. I feel as the Spirit leads this should be enough time to reveal matters of God's teaching in my own life.

God has been encouraging me with the metaphor of a glass. The glass represents our life.

We fill this glass of our life with many things. But God wants to have all the contents of this glass. He is a very jealous God.

God has been teaching me about idols. I heard a story from one of my brothers in Jesus about going to India and he asked a native believer "have you gone to america" she replied" yes." He asked her " would you go back" she replied" no, I could not stand the idolatry" I think we don't see the idols in our culture. I am not going to list any because if you were to honeslty look and care you would see.

I am not God. I have not been given a gift of pastorship annointed by the holy spirit. Until that point I will encourage you to go to God, to see Jesus as who he was, and is currently. I will stop trying to play God and get rid of all pride I have and boast in nothing more than the very cross that saved this wretched sinner.

Until we are ready to be fully emptied and give God every molecule and ounce of our glass of life He will not accept it. As revelation 3:15 says "because you are lukewarm I will spit you out of my mouth"- Jesus. He wishes we would say yes or no fully.

I do not expect many to say yes fully, I pray there would be more but I do not expect so, I desire so.

Anything that we as a culture place above God and devote more time and energy to is an idol. God wants all.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:Not of works, lest any man should boast.For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

eph 2:8-10

I want to point out verse ten especially because we neglect it in our conversion of "sinners" as christians. "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." We are God's workmanship, created upon the time that we accept Jesus Christ into our hearts. God has given to us many good and wonderful things to do, and it is as verse 8 says it is" a gift of God", that no man should boast. The problem I see is that we do not heed the last part" God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." It is a choice to follow Christ day in and day out and it is a choice to be and do good. To be as Jesus was and be holy as He is fully and perfectly.

It our choice to empty the glass fully, the Spirit will help but He will not do all the work because it was before ordained by Him so that we might walk. Me must choose to walk the path ordained before the dawn of time, day in and day out.

According as he hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love
-Eph 1:4

My prayer is that we would make the choice to be fully empty,. It is no walk in the park. It is a walk through a desolate wildereness with no water given until torrential down pour comes when our souls are fully tested and tried, when the Spirit fully baptizes us individually and with no one else present to encourage or help.

The path is uncharted, the destination not so certain. But this is what God has ordained. I choose to walk in the ordained, will you?

-JG

Thaw

Cloud that stirs and swirls around me
that rippled of perfect sight
No longer a perfect reflection
this present truth

More difficult to take in each breath
Your words more amazing with every billow,
Each passing hour a smaller grain
the waters ever more still

Finding myself blind,
speechless, yet not believing
Hearing rumors of White
Yet you stay silent

Ice of my heart
thaw and melt away
Be gentle Raging Fire
kindle this
bring about something better

Oh endless winter inside my mind
I hear whispers of the warmer breeze
Desiring the hourglass might find a faster way
This winter wanting Spring

Ice of my heart
thaw and melt away
Be gentle Raging Fire
kindle this
bring about a better day

Endless Impossibility
I am not about to let You go
Frozen, cracked and parched
Lord let me thaw

Breath on my heart
Let it beat a little faster,
one more day in Love
Let the next season be Spring

JG

To Love the Season

I love Christmas...it's one of the few times the church body gets it right: making Jesus the center of it all. Granted, we lose the point amidst the business and hub bub of it all and make it a ritual rather than a desire but generally I believe this is one of the few times during the year the american church gets something more right than wrong wether they realize it of not. The world for about a month revolves around the birthday of Jesus. I think that is pretty cool... He is so awesome.I mean honestly, the fact that Jesus would humble himself to the point of being a baby, one who burps, poos, and wets himself. I mean that is amazing the kind of love and the humbleness that he went through while here on earth. That is something to throw a big party about: we are no longer under eternal death!

I want to change my view a little bit from the typical though and focus instead not on baby Jesus but instead glorified Jesus. This image strikes me. Revalation 19

"And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him [was] called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.His eyes [were] as a flame of fire, and on his head [were] many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.And he [was] clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies [which were] in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.

I finally have a different picture in my mind of what exactley Jesus looks like not as a baby but as fully glorified. I mean honestly think of this: Jesus here is going to war and his army is all in white. That image is so utterly captivating. I think we have a tendency in this season to see the Baby not the Glorified. I am reminded with this blanket of snow that has recently fallen in my home state that Jesus is going to battle and his army is in white! Pure, untainted, unstained white!

Think of the implications of this, that Jesus when he fights he need not us. He fights! He gets the job done!

We should take this season to focus on the amazing fact that Jesus came as a babe. He humbled himself enough to death on a cross. He was raised from death and became fully glorified God in man form.Now he sits at God's right hand. He will hear our requests and fight for us. We need only ask. But we must not get a tiny picture of Jesus as his human stay is mostly remembered by we must view him glorified and in his present state. Fear him, he is worthy of our respect and honor.

As the Story goes...only beginning

One thing I love about life is that as you grow older and a little wiser with each passing year you come to the realization that this present is only the beginning. I think back on the year I have had and all the events that have happened within it and I know that as I continually choose to make Jesus Christ the center or my life that each year holds some amazing and wonderful things. I want to in a sense pause and take some time to remember things that happened of note within the year 2006...I'm going to limit myself to as many as I can think of tonight and then take the next days, weeks, or month or so to look at ones of, what I feel and the Spirit leads me to, importance and focus on them a little bit more, giving glory to God for how truly awesome He is and forever will be.

1. Came out of singleness into a beautiful relationship!
-Elise and I are dating and I smile every time I think of this relationship because it reeks of God's control and sovereignty.
2. Found a level of honesty that was deeper and more beautiful than all other forms of it I had seen.
- I got the chance to tell Dusty, Elise, Chase, Evan, and Colin my entire testimony, how beautiful God is in orchestrating it all to a divine purpose.
3. Got daily accountability and an understanding of its purpose within the Christian walk.
- Chase and I got to know each other as 2 talked about but found the importance of friendship and accountability.
4. Began to understand the importance of Jesus' wonderful name.
-For those of you who don't know Jesus Christ is the center of everything, there is power in His name.
5. Began to understand the importance of the Holy Spirit.
-Last winter break and second quarter I studied the Holy Spirit and all that He entails does, and wishes us to do. I found one thing...He is very grieved and very neglected.
6. Began to understand the fear of the Father.
- God the father is surrounded in as much mystery as the other aspects of the trinity I forgot about Him as well and neglected that he is angry and requires holiness from his people.
7. Found an appreciation for my family and a love for them that continues to grow.
-Funny how you don't know what you have till you lose it. Being away from the family gave me a greater understanding of how great and wonderful they truly are.
8. Found how to strike a new balance and deal with change with each season of life.
-For those Christians who don't know life is made up of seasons: good, bad, and incredibly ugly. A new balance must be struck with each one. I found learning this important fact and how to in a sense strike a balance for the things God grants me surrounding circumstance.
9. Found the necessity for prayer, bible reading and fellowship in the Christian body.
-As mentioned above all things must be kept in balance and fit into the season. So it is with 9. We must not neglect a part of this beautiful Trinitarian relationship
10. Redefined my definition of missions!
- Missions isn't simply for overseas, my greatest mission field is my everyday acquaintance!
11. Redefined my definition of friendship.
-Friendships change and that sucks, but God is the only "true" friend and He is all we need. There is a lot to talk about this one...moving on.
12. Redefined my definition of myself and who God made me to be: the work I have the joy to do!
- I forgot who I was because I was making sure I did what I didn't do in high school. I neglected God's viewpoint of who I am...a silly thing.
13. Became much more "liberal"
- Honestly for once in my life I would not be considered conservative, when I am 21 I am going to drink beer. When I am married I am going to enjoy sex. If I had a desire to smoke I would. I am no longer being who other people want me to be...I am being who Jesus wants me to be.
14. Found myself only righteous and worthy because of Jesus Christ's work on the cross.
- I suck let's face it. Jesus is AMAZING. Anything I do is worthless rags; good thing Jesus is AWESOME too!
15. Learned to be okay with silence.
- So I like filling the empty void of silence...honestly not anymore. I am tired of all that I was "supposed to say" and am instead learning to enjoy what God gave and fully embrace the season of silence God has given to me.

I imagine all this is only the beginning of what God is teaching. I imagine He is laying a foundation for future things. I look forward when Kingdom come and I can look back on it all and see how beautiful the big picture is, was, and forever will be...Our God, Jesus Christ, is so frickin sweet.

AWAKE!

AWAKE, our souls! away, our fears!
Let every trembling thought be gone!
Awake, and run the heavenly race,
And put a cheerful courage on.

True, 'tis a strait and thorny road,
And mortal spirits tire and faint;
But they forget the mighty God,
That feeds the strength of every saint.

O mighty God, thy matchless power
Is ever new, and ever young;
And firm endures, while endless years
Their everlasting circles run.

From thee, the ever-flowing spring,
Our souls shall drink a fresh supply;
While such as trust their native strength
Shall melt away, and droop, and die.

Swift as the eagle cuts the air,
We'll mount aloft to thine abode;
On wings of love our souls shall fly,
Nor tire along the heavenly road.
-Wesley

We need not fear, for Thy matchless power is complete. You hold everything in the palm of Your hand. Your timing is perfect, your promises will be fulfilled, answers will come, and miracles will be done. We worry to much. We question too much. May we awake in delight with the morns new light. May we believe things which are far beyond reason. May we see what is beyond our own eyes. May we know Your love...may we know, Jesus.

JG

Joyous Strains Prolonged

Oh thought that warms my mind
Fullest chorus raised to thee
Every knee bowed before thy feet
Our joyous strains prolonged

Wind gently breathing through open windows
So my heart is moving and stirring
Human condition, myriad of convictions
Compelled to praise

If I could sing the words unuttereable
Perhaps the unspoken would speak a better phrase

Hushed, The Hills that roll and sway
Swaying to a higher note
Proclaiming God is king
Hills bowed under the sky

Stillness and silence
That speaks so profound to the heart
Wind gently breathing
My heart is moving and stirring

If I could sing the words unuttereable
Perhaps the unspoken would speak a better phrase

Oh thought that warms my mind
Fullest chorus raised to thee
Every knee bowed before thy feet
Our joyous strains prolonged

Oh echoes of eternity in my mind
Our joyous strains prolonged

JG

Invisible

Invisible, this truth behind the lies
manhood requires the truth

Selfish I see the boy, invisible
Covered in a cloak of lies

deeper and deeper, honesty of circumstance
yet never was your mind true, forever scewed

Always wanting forgetting need
I give up, I am running away
Choices made to forget and not forgive

Solidity I gave yet you had not the teeth
Milk you needed

how was I to know?
you and all your lies

Invisible lies
now close to my perception
now I see

slaps in the face
punches and bodies
mangled in the wake

you have to grasp
when will you take hold?

Invisible lies
now close to my perception
now I see

I raise these hands on your behalf
but what necessity will drive you to grasp
When will you take hold?

I am amazed at the thoughts God has led me to during this time of silence. I am amazed at what knowledge is there for those who completely shut themselves up and let an uninterupted conversation happen between themselves and God. It seems in life everything becomes scewed when we don't honestly step back from situations and consult with the One who has the better way. How many invisible lies surround us and truth doesn't ripple and resound. Truth is a very silent and subtle thing, it is not mere words.

I honestly don't know how much longer I can continue in this silence of voice, because the knowledge that is there is very weighty and I know apart from God's strength I can not even hope to carry even the smallest part of it.

Taking time to read over the last years entries here and elsewhere in journals and things I have been coming back to one fact: my childhood faith was better and more perfect. I didn't have the grandiose knowledge I have now about many matters , it was a simpler time and God was still working in his very profound ways, all I did was praise Him for being who He was and I wasn't apart from Him.

I think it is time to go back to that.Although lies weren't apparent and made known they were covered as they are by Jesus' blood and sacrifice and I was able to run unhindered.

Tears flow down this as I write because of many weighty things on my mind which I am not even in part to utter.

This quietness has in a sense made me invisible, I feel one with my God which is the most comforting of moments but I feel the weight of the human condition still and my heart feels pulled by the very gravity that keeps us tied here. I long to depart but for others benifit I stay. I am ready for a change of scenery and a change of any kind. I am so thankful for the One who comforts fully, that His very spirit resides and can warm my very soul in the frigid weather.

So my prayer is that perhaps we might return to the simple and do what God is calling, that there would be fullness of joy in the serving. I pray that everything wouild ripple from the very heart within our being and be of the purest motive and best intent. To Him ultimatley, Jesus Christ, we give all Glory to cause from Him through Him and to Him is all Glory.
JG

Love that drove the Nails

Oh the desire that compels us
And the love that makes us move
Oh the richest of movement
And the love that drove the nails

Oh the hardest of hearts that was shattered
My own hard heart that was so stubborn

Call that compels us
This love that makes us move
Manifest, surrendered we fall
This love that drove the nails

Oh the sweetest and softest of melodies
That could pierce in one blow

Shattered broken on the barren ground
Dirt and mangled face
Blood and nails, bruises and scars
love that drove the nails

One tear He wept
That all tears might be gone
One tear He wept
This love that drove the nails

JG

Still

Oh the stillest night, Oh this perfect night,
How Glorious the heavens are
Expanse stretched so far
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!

Oh the Stillest breeze, and the calmest ocean
Reflection so clear, Radiant beams from Thy holy face
Wonderous stars that lend to the night

With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Wondrous star, lend thy light;
With the angels let us sing,
Alleluia to our King...

Oh the stillest night, Oh this perfect night,
How Glorious the heavens are
Expanse stretched so far
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!

Oh the stillest night, Oh this perfect night,
How Glorious the heavens are
Expanse stretched so far
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!

Learning...silence

"if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man"
- James 3:2

"He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.Even a fool when he keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips he is considered prudent."
- Proverbs 17:27-28

No profound thought only Your word...when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart...
JG

Suddenly

Fear perhaps drives these words
These Emotions changing the meaning
Calling, trust, and truth
Falling back I find myself afraid

A thousand titles
Thousands of untitled things
And a thousand yet unwritten

Infinite wisdom, infinite journey
Knowledge understood, desperation
Cups that were to be taken away
But you had me drink this day

Spirit, come suddenly
To the yet unwritten
Written anew

Nothing left
Empty vessels
Fill with fire
No longer circumstance
But suddenly

Somewhere Inbetween fully right and fully wrong

I am reminded today of the fact that hindsight has a way of slapping us in the face.I am reminded all the knowledge we have gained means nothing if it doesn't make the journey to our heart. I am reminded we are so fully right and yet altogether wrong.

I was thinking today in physics class about a lot of things but generally the whole picture of my life, who I am,seasons and the passing of time, good life question things like that and I was thinking over the whole fact of what God is doing within me, around me, and everything else. I was quite overwhelmed by the complexities of it all. How truly wretched my heart has become and how truly right I was once under the spirit's direction and guidance, and how truly wrong I am oftentimes without the spirit guiding.

And I come to this fact: I am fully certain that God has brought me to this season in my life and it is not my own making.I have searched out my heart and I have found I am progressing in my heart and the knowledge that has penetrated it. God has chosen to take away the direction in this season but I am fully understanding more and more each day the overall picture and what God desires to do within me and those things he is calling me to do. Each day I grow more and more at peace with the whole situation.

I am reminded of where I was last year this time, questioning my faith and begining to understand what exaclty this holy spirit was that resided within me. I would say I am not digressing but I am progressing. I may look at the temporary so often and get overwhelmed by it all. But I am assured He is here...in my very midst silent, breathing , ordaining, and moving.

Commitment & Desire

I look to pure intentions of the heart and won't settle for less. So perhaps with new knowledge name changes are in order. Perhaps best friends are simply friends and aquaintences will become best friends.

Guess we'll see...

Final Project Update...

It's hard to believe that the first quarter of school is almost over...honestly I am quite glad it is coming to a close and get the chance to spend some time with my family, I do miss them. This quarter has brought many new things but I believe one of the most important things is it has led me into my major and an understanding of what exactley it is going to take to follow this degree path and more so God's will on the matter. I am jumping into this thing known as architecture...

Our final design challenge was to create a safe new and improved toy that was educational and fun.I decided to go with a block lego mesh that I call N&I blocks: These guys allow movement in all directions and allow you to literally stick blocks together.Pretty cool..huh?

YOU ALONE

Sheltered in your wings
I can find all my strength
Being hidden in YOU ALONE

And I raise these shackled hands
knowing I am led by YOU ALONE

YOU ALONE are everything I have ever needed
YOU ALONE are the kind that I seek
And YOU ALONE are whom I cling to

In your wings and through your strength I am able to become strong

In YOU ALONE I seek my refuge, in YOU ALONE
With all that you have given for this new day

YOU ALONE have made the greater plan and YOU ALONE have given circumstance

YOU ALONE are the only one I have ever needed

In the second year of my release
love showed to the one which first loved me
to YOU ALONE

Unwavering devotion

I've heard it said that you don't really know what you have til you lose it. I remember Jesus telling a parable of the lost sheep. That although he had a hundred he would go out searching for the one. I strongly believe in regards to friendship that we are to be like this shepard who goes out searching for that lost sheep. We in unwavering devotion go after those to whom no one else knows is missing because it is alone our responsibility.

Honestly these words are hard to write because that has been what I have been doing for a long time being unwavering in my devotion to people and all the things friendship entails. Showing in a sense love to someone that was never shown love. I did this in high school with my girlfriend of three years giving her all my love and devotion that I could and in the end seeing her realize that the God of the universe was pursuing her and loved her. I did this with a lot of friendhips by simply just listening to them.

There is however none of this for me besides God and Elise.

The Ironic thing I find now is that to the one that cannot hear, she hears me best and listens best. To those who have ears that function properly take a lesson from the deaf who listen better than you. Ask questions and see what people have to offer besides simply letting them listen to you.

I know american culture doesn't lend itself to anything besides self gratification but perhaps things could change if you simply let God do what he does best, change the unchangable. I met one guy who is coming to Cal Poly next quarter that actually knows how to talk to people, listen and ask questions. I wonder what that relationship holds.

As I am finding out about this whole initative thing, God is teaching me that perhaps just getting me to do something was the step I needed to take. I needed to become what I never was: a man of initative. Not listening but letting my frustation build into speech and action .In this initative towards friendship in every form and fashion I am finding that God has infinitley more people for me to in a sense befriend. And honestly with everything that is going on I am no longer waiting for friendships of old to rekindle, I will let them when and if they do, but for once I am not waiting. I am in a sense seeing what God has placed in regard to means to good friendships. Perhaps as was the case last year it can grow and be the friendships that God can do wonderful things and provide in wonderful blessed ways through.We'll see! They will take time to grow but once grown they are truly beautiful things.

JG

Stop saying Christ, Proclaim Jesus

All around us God is always moving, never stopping, never growing tired, pursuing people with a passion uncontained. God is doing this and many refuse to believe, even us as Christians refuse to see this fact. But who could blame the lost when we don't know as christians how to lead them to God, because we don't know who God is ourselves.

I am simply amazed that for so long I thought I knew who God was, but did I know the Jesus that was accurate according to scriptures, i relied on so many others opinions of who He was not truth that He himself spoke. I was listening to a sermon last night that pointed out so many points that we as Christians forget about.

I think it honestly boils down to the American Christian looking beyond himself or herself towards what the world is really like and having enough knowledge to see that there is a lot of truth in the world just not complete truth. The pastor brought up the point that Jesus is the way the truth and the way, and ultimatley He is the only way but to think that out "religion," christianity, is somehow better than all the rest I am coming to believe it is not. The only different thing in most of the main world religions is their perception and belief of who Jesus was. Morals and goodness and all that is generally the same.

Our salvation is based on Jesus and our belief of who He is, accepting the price that he gave for our sin. I firmly believe that He is the Son of God, raised from death, our payment for sin, our death, to those who believe He is who He has said He is, part of the triune Godhead, made a man to die for sin.

The thing I find most fascinating is that in the midst of making toys in my architeture class I am finding that my mind is returning to things I haven't remembered in years about my childhood. For those of you who don't know I spent an extensive amount of time during middle school searching out who exaclty God was, and all those beliefs that different people in the world believe about certain aspects of God etc. I saw this Charcter, Jesus, who made these unique claims" I am God", "I take away sin" etc. as radically different and uinque because unlike cults that have a leader that they believe to be God, this "cult" lasted longer than all the rest and is still going strong, worth and investigation I thought so. This Jesus character resonated the most with me and holy scripture spoke the most to me so I chose to pursue this Jesus character fervently. But I realized after a while of this that perhaps this whole Jesus charter coming to earth was about God wanting so bad to restore the realtionship. It was about accepting the relationship that Jesus made possible and finding myself empty without that.

Years down the road I am finding myself returning to the simple understanding I had back then.I find we as christians have screwed up what we understand and are so easily swayed by a partial truth world. We are too busy, and too lazy. Shouldn't if we are helping and hoping to lead people back to this God that so passionatly pursues us and them don't we have an obligation to know ourselves who this God is and where they can locate this God and how he chooses to show himself.

We need to tell them what we know and not make it comlicated. If Jesus is not mentioned in the worship songs and not mentioned in the sermon, how do we expect the lost to know what we are so excited about. I want Jesus' name proclaimed. We think people will ask the right questions all the time but we need to adapt to our culture: a culture currently that doesn't know how to ask the right questions.

We need to be in the world. That means going to parties( doing those things we never would do) and not sheltering ourselves in Christian bubbles. No one is righteous no not one. Our only spotlessness comes from Jesus and his love shown by the Cross. We need to be Going out and seeking out the lost they can't and don't know how to seek us out as Christians. We need to be different we need to be radical be like the God that presented a message so profound so unique.

= (pause)

Left here in this stillness
in the midst of a circle of stones
change is on the wind

Right here in this silence
in this moment things have stopped
change is on the wind

Great and mighty wind
Cracking and making the mighty mountains bow
and this great mystery
of what remains and what will be redefined

Left here in this stillness
in the midst
letting me go
letting me grow
evening breeze

Right here in this silence
in this moment
The mountains will bow
the valleys shall grow
meeting the host of heaven

Do what You will
No more change of plan
Do what You will
I can no longer stand

Great and mighty wind
Cracking and making the mighty mountains bow
and this great mystery
of what remains and what will be refined and redefined

There are seldom in life moments where everything seems to stop: all the chaos that seems to be in my head and all noise of any sorts. I can recall only two of these times in my life where I heard God so clearly that everything seemed to fade away and I was simply in His presence. Those are the moments I love.

I happened across one of these moments this weekend in the midst of the ride up. Everything seemed to stop and everything was still and wonderful. The world seemed to be working together in beautiful harmony.This is where in part I penned this song. In that beautiful moment.

I have no divine revelation to share. I am being refined and redifined, it is a beautiful thing... a personal not a public thing...a wonderful thing.

JG

The Pursuit of Woman and the forgetting of other important things

I wonder how often we do forget about those things that did once matter to us beause we are pursuing other things. I know all things in the christian life are a delicate balance and by no means is it an easy balance to keep. Yet I see so many around me forgetting about those things that once mattered to them, they are consumed with a certain signifigant other. They change their character to someone to fit the liking of the other person and leave everything a little more tangled up because of it.

Granted God uses woman to change men and make them better individuals in the cliche saying " you complete me." But to neglect everything else to run towards a woman, there is something wrong with that. God will most certainly use it but we could save ourselves a lot of trouble as men if woman were a +1 to things and not a minus everything plus one thing.

Maybe I believe in the +1 philosophy too much and believe friendship too important to forget about it because of some signifigant other. And granted I have yet to find someone that cares as much about me as I do about them except Elise, I like her a lot "she completes me." But although I am still pouring out in an extent to a lot of people I am not going to abandon it for someone that completes me. Maybe that is stupid but I believe you can't devote yourself soley to something you need to manage a lot of things. That is the way life works, if you set yourself up with only one foundational stone if that should collapse you are left totally ravaged and collapsed.

I am so glad the Jesus Christ is the perfect cornerstone.

As we learn in structures everyday it is okay to put unessecary struts in because it covers up should you have some mistakes. We are so imperfect in every way and need some extra struts in there because of our flaws and mistakes. Christ should be the cornerstone of our lives all the time because he is the perfect foundation, we should rely on that but it is not realistic for most. We need those other foundational stones like good friends, signifigant others, family etc.. To only have one and neglect the others can lead to not good things.

My prayers are with those people that are forgetting. All I know is that should they not have a foundational stone in Jesus Christ things will collapse sooner or later, those other struts may be able to hold them up for a while but it won't last forever.

Sometimes we as christians do need to let go and let the forces fall upon Christ the cornerstone not the other struts. But know there are imperfect motives in the world and sometimes people need us.

It is all about balance and keeping Christ the cornerstone... the perfect one.

JG

Sunlight ascending

As for what the day will bring
As for the dawn breaking
As for this morning soon to begin
Standing in this darkness
clinging to what I cannot see

Sunlight ascending against an ever present darkness
Will I be faithful to an ever faithful God
Will I remain steadfast to difficult calling?
and who is this that I cling
could it not be my everything?

The day has broke
I find myself here
I find I must let go
and every moment
a little easier to see

free to be
unhindered as light
piercing this darkness

Ablaze for God
in devotion that consumes
Love that glows
and joy that radiates
the Son inside of me

free to be
unhindered as light
piercing this darkness

...I am free

Barefoot

So this whole season is difficult. It is honestly really hard. But tonight writing this I want to thank God for the faithfullness He exibits day in and day out in sustaining me. Although I normally complain about this matter He has blessed me and is stretching me in ways that are wonderful and necessary.

Last night I found myself in tears for the first time in a while. I am simply exhausted with ministry and I am hardly doing anything which daunts me. To think that my independence is being stripped away in this transforming time. It is painful beyond measure. This is a new season for new lessons and it will look different but there is hope that somewhere in the future I will get the hang of it and things will look brighter and be more beautiful because of it...

I awoke this morning only to find that the tears I had fallen asleep to still left their emotional stains in my mind and heart and it was going to be a long day. Yet talking to God this morning and praying that He would use the day for his purpuses made all the difference.

I ended up working in the shop most of the day doing about 100 or so dovetail joints. Needless to say at the end of this mind numbing manufacturing process I wanted to do something fun. So I came home to an empty house and I was kinda bummed. Being carless this year has left me naturally helpless to meet anybody and must therefore rely on their schedule. No schedule aligned with mine this evening so I spent two or three hours at home alone.

Like I said before I am not content in the whole fact that as I have known myself for so long I am independent. Yet, God is calling me to be dependent. This is hard for me. God is changing the very core and being of who I am and I am bitterly resisting. I hate myself for this fact that it wages war inside of me. Thank God, though that through His provision I am able to stand in the midst of this fight and even have good days. He is more than faithful!

So for the first time in my life I actively sought out help from other people. I called literally all those people in my life that I call my trusted friends and one came to my my rescue and we went to go escape. I look at the day, now 1:54 and although it may have been what I would use to consider a bad day, it is exactley what God had planned for the day, and because of that fact it is truley wonderful.

Earlier this evening I found myself up on a huge rock with Colin above the shoreline. I found myself barefoot and simply quiet. It was the first time in a long while that I took my shoes off and went walking without any hinderance between me and the ground.

In describing this season I must say that I am most certainly barefoot. I am more prone to be hurt by the rocky ground. Yet I am able to feel more wholly not only seeing and imagineing what it feels like. Without the sense of touch for instance how can you gain knowledge like how does it feel. There is something missing in our definition of life if we forget to simply experience it in its fullness, all five senses.

I must somehow get it through to my head and heart that this season is about gaining knowledge that I never could, if I were simply in the last season. There would be a gap in my being, something missing that is being made complete by this season. We may attempt to not allow ourselves to be hurt, what I did in the previous season of my life, but unless we fully dive into things you cannot learn about them by simply learning about it. We must experience them.


I find myself with this conclusion tonight: don't limit God in his healing abillity to heal the wounds that the rocky jagged slippery terrain can cause. Dive fully into the things God is putting and calling you to in your life. Give yourself wholly to what you are involved in. Embrace the season and worship God with a passion that is undying. All or nothing. Be willing to go barefoot into life willing to know and discern better what is around us..we may be hurt but God can mend the broken heart.

JG

Project Toy

So in studio we are designing and building toys for needy kids...this is pretty awesome. This has gotten us back into the mindset of childen. As expected from that we have been having a blast in studio. I thought I would share some of the photos here of what we are doing and because we are having a whole bunch more fun than all the other studios...enjoy...

Instead of doing actual concrete casting why can't we just learn from waffles. It's prettymuch the same...


Like I said back into the mindset of childen. I'm sure there is some elaborate lesson to be learned but I will wait for completemness with this one...

Oh...Ministry 2

I would like to apologize, foremost for not clarifying myself in my last blog on ministry. I would like to make some clarifications here...

1. God is totally overhauling my view on ministry and by no means is the work complete. Therefore some of my views are not complete yet and I have large gaps and holes in them that don't seem to make sense. There are two apparently different seemingly contradictory things The Spirit is teaching me about that somehow go together and it makes sense in my mind but I cannot clarify it to the degree it need to be at this present time. I will not have a grasp on this stuff for a while. The things I said I hold fast to because that is the path my logic took to get to the end result and conclusion.That are what my blogs are simply the thought processi and thought provoking things. Forgive me while I am prone to jump the gun on revealing things and be in sin and not offer a complete overview. I should be waiting but until this transformation is over within me I will not be able to offer a concrete definition on ministry.

2. I understand fully that last year I thought I was so mature in my faith only to find out now there is still much ground to be taken. I ask myself several times how could I have had such wrong perceptions about some key things, I understand I may be doing the exact same thing here.

3. Take God's word not my words and let them speak to you. I hope my writing only stirs people to question things for themselves and seek out God in their own lives and spur them on to a greater love of Jesus.

4.The path God has me on is a more radical one than I initially thought. Forgive me while I only care about my father's preception of me not those around me.

JG

A random pic to lighten the mood

I think this is awesome!
JG

Oh...Ministry

It seems the chaos that seems to fill my mind a lot as of late has finally materialized into something. I find myself tonight ready to write...to fill the blank spaces that are all around me with an awakening in a sense within me. I will not forget that God still has much more awakening to do within me, but I will be content on this plateau before the next hill.

There has been something stirring within me as of late...mainly my christian approach to minsitry and my heart condition. In the season I am in God is calling me to a complete redirection within myself: transforming all of who I was and still in part am whether good or bad. He is making all things new. He is calling to me to do all things new.

The biggest lesson has been simply that it was never about the converts it was all about ourselves all along. That will probably seem a paradox to some because we have a tendancy to care so much about people's perceptions of us, we lose sight that perhaps we should be spending less time caring about what people think of us and more on how God views us.

Matt and I have begun talks on the the triune nature of God as of late and he asked a very perplexing question " does every aspect of the trinity love everyone?" After some pondering and some prayer here are my thoughts: God is by nature angry and only loves those who are redeemed those who love Jesus, this is shown by a father loving his kids more than every other kid, Jesus loves everyone regardless of slavation status, he died for everyone. The spirit is the interesting one he doesn't even love christians occasionly. He loves those who are in a process known as sanctification those christians that are growing and moving closer to Jesus.

We need to honestly consider this we are loved by God and we are not loved by God. The only thing that matters in this life is us and the internal revelation that is happening and overflowing out of us as christians.

This is what God has been teaching me about ministry it's not means of doing it, it is about "the mean" by which we can minister.

This way is simply letting the hate and love of God for us compel us. It says in Hebrews 12:14

"...be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. "

It says that unless we are holy we will not see God. We cannot hope to see God work, we cannot expect the spirit to move unless we are being a holy people. We are not called to condemn people but to work on the plank in our eye before we go out and condemn people for the speck in theirs. This is ministry...ministry foremost should be about santification and discipleship spurring each other on to holiness.

15See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 16See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. 17Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.

18You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; 19to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, 20because they could not bear what was commanded: "If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned."[c] 21The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, "I am trembling with fear."[d]

22But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, 23to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, 24to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

25See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? 26At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens."[e] 27The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

28Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 29for our "God is a consuming fire."


That is the beauty of the community we are in here in SLO. It is not about those who are mature, it's not about the weakest . It is about us as a group of believers being in real fellowship and experiencing the life God intended us to experience. Spurring each other on to real holiness and letting that be the water that drives this storm that is coming.

Granted we have some major work to do as a chrisitan community here...but I know once we begin to realize that we are a body not individuals we begin to understand humility and we begin to understand what exactley God is calling us to as a people. He is calling us to the personal relationship not the public. Letting Him dictate and judge us not others.

I love that fact...it's about letting go in order that we might gain more...it is a beatiful and effective surrender.

oh...Pride

This morning I found myself at Motana De Oro, a state park on the central coast of California. It was misting and quite chilly but Elise and I were determined to finally take a day for ourselves and do something fun. Little did we know that God as normal would speak through the rediculous. This is the perspective of a snail...

"Little did I know that I could find myself so lost in the middle of the woods so far away from a source of water.There is nothing but dry dirt surrounding. The storm the night before had blown me here and I find myself disoriented not knowing where I can find myself the essential necessities to live, I am so lost.

It's been hours, I am crippled by the distance, I must return I am determined. I hear the ground rumbling perhaps something is coming to my rescue to return me back to the water. I think it sees me...

I hope it sees me...

The big creature is carrying me in his hands, I am scared that perhaps it may not have my destination in mind. I am willing though, rather than face death to let anything happen to reach the water.

I am still in the strange creature's hands perhaps we will reach the destination soon. Rains pour down. I can hear the sound, on the barren ground. I can hear the waves so close yet so far away...

It seems he is carrying me toward the ocean but why haven't we reached it yet?...

...bloop."



I think all of us can take a lesson from the snail's perspective. The storms of life come and we get so blown off course from where we should be. I would say of these three lessons that I am writing about pride, ministry, and friendship this one has been the hardest. To actually let people teach me and minister to me is a hard thing. To finally let go of my pride and let someone else carry things for a change. Little did I know that by not accepting this I was like the snail so far away from home.



To most of my close friends I have told them that God was calling me to the horizontle plane during this season, an honest first. God was calling me to devote to friendships and people in an intense focus. Little did I know it would entail actual friendship not some arbitrary concept. God answered that prayer by allowing me to realize who my true friends are and that I need to be poured into too. I can't always be an unending source of water for people when my spring has sprung a leak and needs to be shut down.I remember praying a while back that I can't continue pouring out in the same way I have been. I was like the snail so far away from water that I was in a sense slowly dying, hardly functioning because I had no water for myself or in my eyes worse yet, for others.

I was letting pride get in the way. I am a control freak and want everything to be done my way. Who are we to think that we are any better than anybody else enough to dictate things? We all own the same wretched heart redeemed by grace. Like I said in my blog yesterday it has been a lesson in letting go in order that I might grow leaning on Christ alone and his sufficiency in my life, his greater grander plan. It is better yet that way. I am holding together only by his grace and providence in my life.

As for letting go I spent a whole day in a sense doing nothing with Elise.



..It has been one of the best days of my life.

God doesn't call us to a life of sole ministry we get burnt out that way. He calls us to in part enjoy what he has given us. To take delight in his providence and good grace. He is more than worthy because of this fact alone.

JG

Oh...Friendship

These next couple blogs I want to recount to remember what exactley God has taught me during the time in which he took me on an unexpected detour to work some things out within me. I want to focus this blog on friendship but moreso the next couple blogs on three exact issues : friendship, pride, and ministry. This is in a hope of finally coming to terms and realizing the extent of these lessons in my own life.

I must say that the lessons God has taught me about this particular subject about friendship have been incredibly difficult.It is hard to take away all of one's perception about certain subjects and replace that. God did that and it was a ride.

The living situation this year is so good a pure joy, and I honestly have no complaints. I live in an apartment with three awesome guys one kitchen, one living room, two bathrooms, and four bedrooms.

This is Rory he was in my wow group last year and we just clicked although we were totally different people, he is a music major.





This guy's name is Evan I consider him my best friend in the whole wide world, he is a construction managment major.






This is Matt he was my best friend's roomate last year, a computer engineering major. These are who I am living with this year. It isn't anything like a dorm you enjoy each other's company and you see each other and really have to live with each other and are forced to get along or face the consequences. I consider it is a blessing to be living with all these guys.

















Evan and I have had a little bit of a culture shock with the circumstance God has placed our way and its been awesome to learn how to work through everything God gives us together. By leaning on each other and the friendship that has given us we are able to make it through. I will note two things though that was preventing us from leaning on each other as brothers in Christ. One we were afraid to bring up issues that we didn't want to talk about, we should only fear God not the response of people. Secondly we were also upset to accept that we can't devote all our time to each other anymore there is responsibility and other things that we do need to focus on.

This girl's name is Elise, she is the love of my life, my other best friend. God has called this to be my other focus. It has been difficult managing all the time that God has given me to do with what I will and delegate and distribute it responisbly. Thanks be to God who through an easier architecture class this quarter I have had more time to devote to people like Elise who are so truly wonderful.

I thing the biggest difficulty in friendship this year has been simply having enough time to enjoy eachothers company. In a sense letting go enough so God can do His things and we can find pleasure in His ultimate greatness. It's been difficult to accept that perhaps God wants us to work towards something better and bigger than ourselves but not have the same responsibility because of the way our lives look and the difference between this and last year. We are meant now in this season to be devoted to a few and pour into them and let that pour out to a few. and pour back into us. It isn't about simple nonstop ministry its about simply letting God do what He wants to do letting go to grow closer.

I believe it is in preperation for the real world where you can't have hundreds of friends you have a few. The challenge is making every moment purposeful, making sure that what God wants is being done with the time given us. I still have a lot of work to do with that but I am making things simpler. I am devoting myself to my apartment and Elise and not being upset that God has called me to only four people for the most part. I will enjoy all the other friendship when time dictates and God calls me to but I am letting go of some in order that I might have a stronger bond and better friendships.

JG

Back to Simplicity

So this past week in particular has been one of the most difficult draining/ most emotional weeks I have experienced in a long while. Infact it has been a really draining month and half since I have been back to school and such.That time was characterized by many things I have not been able to find joy in which is rough for one who can't control his smile oftentimes. After some really rough conversations with God and a little bit of spiritual warfare and a lot of honestly just crappy things in my life all happening at once I come today to this computer in a peace and simplicity that I haven't had in a long time,probably since my intial conversion.

I do not feel a need to write long because the words I will write will not change you it will be those times you spend with your Savior and love Jesus Christ. I will say something to you, though and I hope the lack of words will make note of how important this is to me and what God has told me. "Shut up, live simply and love Me. Use the circumstance in your life to point back to Me and who I am." That's the secret to life right there. Love Jesus, and simply believe Him to be who He is and forever will be. That is it. Let simplicity flow back into you.

JG