A Day's Work

Sorry I haven't written in a while, things have most certainly been busy and full to say the least. To illustrate take for instance this past week :Yesterday I was up for 20 hrs worked straight through besides lunch from 5am to 1 am, the day previous 18rs and I worked through this past weekend and monday(the holiday). A lot to do...for sure!

It is truly strange though because what I am doing I am loving and these 20 hr days honestly they don't bug me.

Yesterday I remember just being so captivated by the beauty of the silence of the morning. A sleeping world still under the veil of night still, ceasing from striving (ps 48:10.) and ending the day with the silence of the midnight hours. I remember worshiping with hands that were rough and bruised from the days labor but not being angry that life was not always roses. There was something just so profound about what lied around me yesterday, God was fully in it although it was merely just an ordinary day.

This rain that has been falling since Sunday has given me the chance to simply walk and look around. There is this beautiful captivating thing known as creation all around us. Berries in bloom, grass becoming green, the rain that is falling ,the hills these two doves that sit outside my window etc it's all so very beautiful.

And honestly I find myself struck by all who God is. As I sat at work alone this morning waiting on the systems to begin running that thought gave me joy and a smile uncontained, it simply does. It still does! God is so good, and so incredibly sovereign.

To His Sovereign Glory alone,
JG

Daylight has Begun

Old Saints of the past
Trapped in these stained glass windows
Vibrancy of life
Contained in simple leaded glass
Could it be? Such a thing?

Old hymns of freedom
Trapped in these beautiful words
Vibrancy of life
Contained in simple pen and ink
Could it be? Such a thing?

Come Alive and sing what they use to sing
Sing the songs we will sing in the eternal cities
Melodies of the slums of a world reborn

Can mere things contain revivals of the past
The unbreakable light waiting to break through this frame
Daylight has begun

I doubt such a thing, the breaking light of God’s means

Young eyes of hope
Trapped in this little soul
Vibrancy of life
Contained in simple words and speech
Could it be? Such a thing?

Can mere things contain revivals of the past
The unbreakable light waiting to break through this frame

Daylight has begun

To His Glory Alone,
JG

Questions on a Thursday Afternoon

What does discipleship look like biblically is it merely about ministry? I mean this is the mode that many disciplers take, is this what it really looks like? Is everything about ministry ? Why do I seem to shy away from this "mainstream" ministry do I not believe in Your purpose in it or am I merely like Luke and being too skeptical or lazy or called to something different?Are the countless conversations I have with people worthwhile to their spiritual condition? Am I letting a knowledge of who God is and especially God's sovereignty dictate this aspect of life too much and not doing anything? Do I have faith without deeds? What do deeds look like if God were to switch your direction all of a sudden and you don't know how to have deeds in this society? Is the church or campus ministries doing your deeds as you would have them? Are people so busy with ministry that they miss ministry on the way to it? Are most people too busy to let the Spirit do its thing? What is ministry for that matter? If God desires community and each part of the body teaching each other then why is discipleship the way that it is. Is discipleship every interaction between the older and younger or is that something different and should be treated differently?

JG

Dearest America

Dearest America,

What do I say
when I no longer feel a prophet
what do I say

To this:The returning of old and the declaring of new

I shall speak what You say and that is all I really can say
Say my name father and show me a word alive
I long to be in the school of my father

Perhaps even here there is a light left burning that can restore the flame I see in our most intimate of meeting
That can challenge your people to kindle their yearning and seek after the one who begins such a restoring

Oh america it is difficult to see you here but I believe you worth saving

Not quite knowing what to say

There are times where I will go back and read over journal entries from a long time ago. In the words of my friend it is a trip. It is in those times of quiet reflection on about seven years or so of my writings I get to see increasingly more as I take my sabbath and focus mainly on God's sovereignty finding myself just floored at the fact God has been there through it all. He has took my hand and walked me just like a baby at my slow pace. How crazyily awesome is that.

And I feel in a lot of ways that I don't have words to say because I feel no necessity to say them. My belief and my faith is my prayer which God hears. Words may hint at what God is doing but He is sovereign far more then words can contain.

To His glory alone,
JG

I love soup

This quarter is going to be challenging. In a more defined word it is different from the level of expected difference.

The classes I am taking seem to be very ambitous in their undertakings. My english class is analyzing almost every single issue whether societal or cultural pertaining to America. Each person in my design studio is entering into a competition for a downtown Seattle mixed used residential eight story building using innovative steel technology and will be visiting the city sometime in mid febuary. In another we are looking at lighting design, Heating and cooling systems, infrastructure etc. The other designing light frame (wood) buildings and sizing all the beams specifically as they should be to minimize construction costs. Ten weeks...yup! Jesus help me!

The funny thing though, this is what I love to do. I have been dying to design something in a dense urban context sense I began design school and finally have the chance to. I've been learning about culture and how to change America through it for about 9 months or so and finally get to deal with the issue head on in my english class. I finally get to know how big a beam should be so I can give more options to the design itself. I finally get to learn about lighting and how to create moods etc. and how to provide for massive building projects and all that goes into the maintenence of a building. Ambitious...a tad.

Also we get to have a design class blog...how sweet is that!

I will say again this quarter is going to be challenging...but good for sure. Today I have been at it for about 13 hrs and it is only the first week!

To His glory alone!
JG

A powerful Gospel

It hit me suddenly tonight: the gospel changes people. I've known this for a long while now but for some reason tonight it struck me anew. When it finally makes the journey from the head to the heart it does something remarkable it transforms piece by piece into eternity.

I was watching SNL tonight and I look at how I can't laugh at hardly any of the humor anymore.

Perhaps it is an understanding of the Spirit's grief and an understanding of truth that I have come more and more to. I don't know? All I know is I can longer laugh as I once did at the things I once did.

The gospel has changed me.

I have been taking a sabbath rest in SLO since the 30th of December or so and have had quite a bit of time alone here to spend time in prayer and planning etc: to reflect on my life this past quarter and to a surprising amount the college years so far.

The gospel has changed me.

I think I realized a few nights ago just how much so.

I feel in a lot of ways that I don't know who I am anymore. It is rather strange.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a powerful Gospel the only true catalast of hope I see.

To His Glory alone,
JG

Poverty of a selfish imagination

What do I write, when words fail me in so many respects?When the thoughts in my head keep spinning and the energy, let alone the fuel,makes it continue ever so?When an impoverished selfish imagination stirs things that make it difficult for You to pick up the settled dust: In the whirlwind of thoughts and emotion?

See, In many ways my call to this chair to write is easy, to write of the knowledge I have gained and to reflect upon Your work for no one in particular but myself. I risk very little in doing so . Yet somehow " in the grand scheme of things, this is just an average piece of junk and as far as my imagination may carry my words they in fact do nothing apart from You.

...

As much as I may admire the words of the many men who like me have strung 26 letters together into words and clever phrases they too have done nothing apart from You. ...truth says we are all the same... all mankind is leveled on one playing field.

Your sovereignty, Your oversight.

Over all things You are.

To Your glory alone,
JG

As it truly is

What if we viewed the world as it truly is?

Saw every rape, every dissonance caused by sin?

Saw through the eyes of our God?

Would it change us, our whole being?

...

Bleak and terribly in need: our World.

Shattered and so incredibly broken.

...

I am struck with these thoughts.


-JG

Roll Call

hey all,
I am rather curious who reads this blog on a regular basis. If you do would you leave a comment . Thanks.

John

*If you want you can answer this question . If you could be asked any question what question would you have asked of you?

Insight on freedom

While I have been home my dad and I have been doing a lot of home repair touchup stuff etc on the house.

We are moving come April. So a lot of what the "designer" wants done to sell the house is getting done.

We( more my dad) were grouting the newly laid tile in the master bathroom. I had gotten up early to help him so I sat on the bathroom counter and used the opportunity to ask my dad a few questions regarding his thoughts on my generation and christianity the church etc.

My dad is a very profound/wise man. I realize this more and more as I grow up. I'm learning each and every day what wisdom He has if you can ask the right question. Just like me. Like father like son

While I was on that counter I asked his thoughts on the church in general, he said something to this effect.

"Son, the majority of christians enslave themselves when they are most certainly free."

I have been chewing on this for about a week now and it was one of those things I am sure when I look back while thumbing through heaven's history it will shape me in a lot of ways.

It's true though isn't it.

As much as I would like to say we are totally free creatures we are still wearing the shackles of our sin. If we were totally free and we knew it we would declare it.

Isn't that why honesty is so attractive?

What does true freedom look like?

I hope I get to find out.

I'm praying toward that end.

To His Glory alone,
jg

Book Recommendation

I don't think I have ever recommended a book on this blog. I have put numerous quotes from Tozer over the past few years and a few portions of the bible but I have never recommended a book.

Why, you might ask? I mean I do read a lot. You think I would have found something worth recommending in all the years this blog has existed. But honestly I never thought about it.

You were expecting something more profound...i know...sorry guys.

The book is called the Dangerous Act of Worship by Mark Labberton.

Bomb.

Read an exert here

JG

Regarding Elise

I believe a man is accountable to the words that he has said and will say.

Today I got a call from a friend . I had written him about three months ago declaring what God was doing in Elise at the time. I said this at the time:

To bless you further I desire earnestly to tell you a little bit about what God is doing here in San Luis Obispo CA and how big the God we serve truly is.

In my immediate surrounding my girlfriend, deaf for her entire life, has begun through God's infinite love receiving the gift of hearing in her ears.

Today we got the entire elder board of the church together along with the pastors and laid hands on her and anointed her with oil and her hearing was gave to her for a time.

But the most wonderful part of it all is that people are believing God to be who his word says He is.

God is as Hebrews 13:8 declares the same yesterday today and forever! The same Jesus now fully glorified sits at the right hand of God making our requests known to God and working in wonderful ways through the holy spirit! Our God is absolutely breathtaking.

And that is only one story of so many of what God is doing in this place. Our God is on the move. I pray to that end in your life as well that God is taking your breath away at every moments chance and every move He makes to His glory and renown you experience fully.

I must keep this short because I need to get to bed but know you are in my prayers bro.

I would love to hear about what God is doing with you further and how I can join you in prayer as you reach New Zealand and beyond!
your brother in Christ,
John G

Since then I have not really devoted any significant amount of thought life to the subject because of life's hectic pace. Should I have actually sat down one on one with the guy that called me up I don't know if I could have recounted what God had done in and around her regarding this miracle.

I thank God He has gifted me though with the time to reflect here.

I believe it was winter break of my freshman year Elise and I went to The Next Level Church( a church I attended all throughout high school) here in Colorado. The pastor spoke on a passage about the boy born blind. She pieced all that was going on in her life and what the pastor said to believe that it was God's desire to heal her ears fully. ( she can explain more of the piecing together than I could)

I remember that night or a month or so later I prayed God if I see a shooting star I will know it is time for you to Heal Elise.

My whole life I had never seen a shooting star.

I saw my first shooting star while staring at the sky worshiping one night the beginning of this summer. It was that Friday that I prayed a prayer at the Mill a college service I attend down in Colorado Springs that God would allow Elise to hear the music being played. He answered my prayer.

I did not mention anything to her regarding the prayer that night. Later when I dropped her off at her house she asked me to come in. While inside sitting on her couch she told me she heard the worship that night.

I remember the next two weeks I couldn't focus on anything but the fact she heard. I was at my sister's wedding thinking about what God was doing in Elise rather than focusing on what God was doing in bringing my sister and her husband together.

Over this past summer the elders of the church got together and laid hands on her. She could understand the prayers.

I took Elise up to the hills the night of a meteor shower during the summer. We saw so many shooting stars that night. I prayed for Elise. Again she understood the prayers being offered on her behalf.

It was the day before fall quarter that she called me on the phone left a message telling me to call her. I was puzzled cause she never calls me on the phone. That night her voice was beautiful clear and perfect as if she could hear what she sounded like. She understood me perfectly.

It was sometime that quarter she took out one of her hearing aids placed it in a drawer. Never to enter her ear again.

Since then a few times God has opened up her ears.

And I stand amazed at what God has done already knowing there is so much more but I still have wrestled with why God would choose to work in this manner and not all at once.

My best friend said one night God is doing something even greater here than a mere miracle. He is shaping you into a man who will ask in perfect faith and pray for healing and not be dismayed. Perfectly in delight of God's will for a situation.

There is no doubt in my mind that God will heal Elise. I can't deny what he has has done. I wish I could in a lot of ways, but honestly there is no doubt I am just unsure as to the timing of it all.

I believe it was Abraham who waited twenty years for the promise of His son.

I will never stop believing.

JG

Bring a torch

Bring a torch, Jeannette, Isabella!
Bring a torch to the cradle run!
It is Jesus, good folks of the village;
Christ is born and Mary's calling:
Ah! ah! beautiful is the mother!
Ah! ah! beautiful is her Son!

It is wrong when the Child is sleeping
It is wrong to talk so loud;
Silence, all, as you gather around,
Lest your noise should waken Jesus:
Hush! hush! see how fast He slumbers:
Hush! hush! see how fast He sleeps!

Softly to the little stable,
Softly for the moment come;
Look and see how charming is Jesus,
See how He smiles, Oh see how rosy!
Hush! hush! see how the Child is sleeping;
Hush! hush! see how He smiles in dreams.

-Émile Blémont

Reflections on the Manger...

From the nations you came to declare His glory
From the East seeking what a prophet uttered about He who would set us free

"There is hope in this One’s eyes,
these infant eyes: our glorious king"

Did your eyes gaze into his that night as he looked into the open skies
Past galaxies straight to the throne of majesty:
the one before you who are upon your knees?

Did you see the light of the guiding star exploded
not able to contain the night all darkness fled?

There is more than meets the eye
with this infant found before thee

JG

Reflections from a Side View Window

As of late I have found myself absolutely distraught when I listen to any type of music secular of christian. This is a little more than just merely upsetting see, I was driving back from Fort Collins yesterday listening to the XM station's top twenty countdown you know getting to know my culture better and I started crying during a rap song and getting all emotional about just how things are so broken. There are like four songs that don't make me sad or frustrated as of late. What gives? I have found myself frankly just so distraught at how broken America is in every single facet.

See, I was listening to this sermon the other day while driving around fort Collins by the head of the Great Commission Churches about his thoughts as an older man on our generation. It was really illuminating. I think we probably should be doing that as young people more often asking older wiser men about our generation and their thoughts on it because it gave me a sobering reality of what our generation really is like.

But I believe the concept and reason I got so emotional on my way back goes further and deeper into the idea of different generations coming together in accountability in discipleship and holding each other up to a standard of actually growing and moving and unity.

The man who spoke the sermon was saying that he would be scared to death to not come out of his quiet times without having something to share that the spirit illuminated because he experienced this thing where everyone held each other completely accountable. 1 Peter 5:5 and this concept of how much responsibility a younger man should have in the things he places over him in order that he may grow has given me a lot of insight into these afore mentioned things.

While reading through the comments on my pastors blog he quoted an odd translation known as GOD's Word translation.

GOD's Word translates 1 Peter 5:5 this way:

Young people, in a similar way, place yourselves under the authority of spiritual leaders. Furthermore, all of you must serve each other with humility, because God opposes the arrogant but favors the humble.

What I would take from this is that young men are to literally ask for older men to instruct them disciple them etc. This doesn't line up with the rest of the new testament though as I see it and that is why I was so puzzled to see it translated that way. But my infant like grasp of hermeneutics and understanding of the way to interpret and understand scripture though makes me wonder if this was merely a societal issue of respect or the way things were at the time.

I was talking to my mom back when I was in high school and she said something very peculiar she said " you guys( referring to my generation) have a grasp on scripture and understand so much more than I ever did at your age."

I am led to believe that there is this really peculiar thing about the generations that walk the earth. The younger are in some cases wiser than the older. Keep in mind I said some cases.

It leads me to believe that if men in our society are afraid to interact with younger men which I do see on both ends then it is the charge of the younger to bridge that gap and "place yourselves under the authority of spiritual leaders."

I asked my discipler the last time we met. "Is there any last wise words to impart". He said this "seek out discipleship." He believed in a lot of ways that it was the charge of the younger men.

For a long time I have held to the view that God provides and does all the work. This is deeply rooted in the gift of wisdom He has given me. I understand history so well and what God has done that I believe it is only by God. Bur more so I am afraid of what God is doing and I need to learn to trust myself to be different than what I really would classify as 19 centuries of failure and God's faithfulness in keeping it still going.

What I see God doing is something different than all the history I understand so well. I believe it is time that certain long kept ways of doing things are turned on their heads and perhaps the younger take more initiative in their spiritual states with a proper understanding of their generation.

To His Glory,
JG

A Heart Thawed

There are moments in life where I believe we just know we need to get away: God is calling us to this different place for a time. I believe Many of us need to get away much more often than we do. I know I needed to get away for a while early this week. I needed a couple days to just be forced to reflect, pray etc.

I withdrew myself to Fort Collins, CO about an hour North of Denver and spent sometime with my sister and her husband in their apartment up there.

I took sometime this morning to drive up to the reservoir in the area. I had been to it about a year and a quarter ago and decided to retrace my footsteps: at that time I had just entered into my relationship with Elise, God had silenced a lot of my spiritual gifts and was stripping and silencing a lot of the core of who I was.God was literally just hacking away with his pick axe at my stone heart that was so unloving at that time.

Now the trail was a little muddy due to the melting snow but when I got down to the water's edge I saw something I did not expect to see. No part of the lake was frozen.

The reason this is so remarkable is because last year while I was in Colorado we had three blizzards within a 21 day period ( unheard of ever). This break is so different.

See, when God decided to thaw Colorado last Christmas break Elise and I went to her Aunt's Cabin in the mountains with her parents. We went to a Lake named Dillon up there. It was completely frozen much like my heart at the time. We ventured out on the lake and heard the undercurrent moaning and complaining wanting winter to end. One of the most unsettling things you may ever hear.

It may not have hit you since you have not walked my shoes and share my experiences but the beauty of the non frozen lake in the middle of winter put my heart at such a peace.There was tranquility in the waters this morning.

I found myself in awe of what God has truly done in a year and a quarter since I was last there. Things have changed in such drastic ways and I have complained so often but after this year to reflect upon where I was and to see now where God has brought me I can hardly speak. I find myself just awestruck by who God is that He would really even care.

What a great God we serve who does not leave things frozen or broken but reconciles all things and blesses the undeserving so richly.

To His Glory alone,
JG

and so it begins...the first flower blooms

Many prophets have wept for what I was blessed to see today :The American Church's first white flower blooming!

This morning I got to worship alongside those at New Life church in Colorado Springs. For those who know not Newlife was the scene of two deaths last Sunday after a gunman attacked the members of the church. God has done much within this church over the past week after the aftermath. But this week only scratched the surface of what God has done within that church.

What I saw this morning while joining with my brothers and sisters was not a church of 10,000 grieving but a Church that has overcome in so many ways. A church of joy unspeakable and unexplainable . A church and a people sold out with their eyes fixed on Jesus alone: A church tested in their faith and risen up through the strength of Christ to meet the challenge. A people BOLD and not afraid to worship with their whole heart in beautiful honesty. A church of men not afraid to shed a tear for God's greatness.A church forging something on God's power alone.

They have overcome, exactley where God desired to lead them.

The church glistened purest white this morning: that is what has come out of all this and the trials before. I saw such a thing this morning and I could not hold back my heart and tears. My words do far injustice to the God who does such things and my combination of letters could contain.

To His uncontainable glory alone,
JG

The Forum of Honesty

God has these certain things He uses in my life, reocurring things if you will. It seems we are back to the white flowers again.I think it is very fitting I have always been fascinated with white flowers. It is a personal metaphor for purity honesty etc.

I remember it was in a field full of white flowers that I got the chance to see hundreds of men meeting God individually and being blown away by the depths of who He
is: Where authenticity before God and men was showcased.

I remember it was a white flower that was the first to bloom after the fires in the hills where I hike.

And I remember before I left to come back to the snow of Colorado seeing one single flower white and beautiful on the orange tree outside my house in Cali.

It would appear as if God is doing a great work inside of me and His people and those who are yet to come!

I see it...do you?

I see the signs of the winds changing.

I have always been curious as to how all this would play out.

Of this I am sure...more white flowers are to come!

To His Glory alone,
JG

So here I sit in the living room of my childhood. My parents have gone to bed and I sit here in the normal pondering mode that I go into after about 10pm.

I really haven't done a lot since I've been home I believe I have watched more tv than I have watched in the past two years combined in these short four days of being home. And despite all of this so called relaxing my body mind etc is still exhuasted. The more and more I reflect upon the quarter the more and more I realize that I relied on my own strength far too much

JG