It's been strange, yet it's been a blessing in many respects.
It's given me a lot of time to think and continuously chew and process "where God has me" in a much broader fashion, than I normally do. Between the endless hours I have been working in the long silence of the basement, an insight that I normally wouldn't come to has been whispering its wise words to my ear.
"this season is to make you nothing that God ultimately will make something of you"
For those who aren't caught up on my life. I've been pretty pissed for really the better part of year and a half regarding the fact I haven't been able to secure an internship in my chosen course of study before I graduate.
I have succeeded the development of many of my talents to fully immerse myself in my studies as an architect. And its not that I don't have much to offer, I am fully capable of offering a firm something talent wise; but due to circumstance "where God has me" I wonder if I truly have much to offer to the architectural word. And you know that is all in the process of God's work within me. I highly doubt myself, I don't trust in my abilities, in my talents etc. And it is odd to write but that's where God wants me. It's like Moses who was a Prince for his first 40 years on earth, who learned he was nothing for the next 40, and then realized that a nothing with God's help could be quite something and deliver God's people the last 40. I'm learning I am nothing.
This is "where God has me", much like Moses doing a common man's job doing hours upon hours of physical labor with much time of long silence. Not where I want to be, but "where God has me" and where I need to be.
I've been meditating on Lamentation 3:26-29
"It is good that he waits silently For the... Lord. It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone and be silent since he has laid it on him... perhaps there is hope.
And much like Moses whose one of his few and only comforts were his sheep. My sheep dog is a great comfort. I was out paying frisbee with Samantha ( The english shepherd) this evening and I remembered what joy felt like. It was underneath the glory of the majestic Colorado Sunset. Joy, It's a terrible thing to lose but profitable in God's proper time table.
Who knows maybe Samantha will lead me to a burning bush one of these days! Til then though I wait.
JG
