I haven't blogged in a while. I feel like so many blogs begin with that statement. But it really has been a long while. I haven't had the volition to write this quarter between the 18 papers the thesis writing and the 5 substantial books I read. I for the first time in my life grew disgusted with the pen and paper and words in general. Perhaps that is why I wanted so desperatley to get out and do something if anything. Just take a drive. Which I did in plenty.
Tonight on the road up to Fort Collins and back home I got to stop for a bit and think. The first pause, with the first draft of my thesis book done and my thoughts about who I am and what I want to do in this world contained in it.
I got to think about the quarter. About my thesis class. About being largely financially on my own. About being engaged and soon to be married! About where I hear God calling Elise and I. About where God has taken me this quarter. About family and community and how I want my relationships to look in the years to come.
It was a good time of contemplation and reflection.
However, in the interest of time and me going to bed at a descent time tonight I want to focus on one aspect of the a fore mentioned reflection not all of them. Know there is a list I will be attempting to get to over the break of things I really wish to clarify my thoughts on. But one will do for tonight.
The topic is Community
Tonight while I was at the Rock up in Fort Collins we studied through the entirety of the book of Philemon. Although a short book it really packs a punch if you know how to cross reference it properly with the extra-canonical texts that many people don't reference. John did an excellent job clarifying what is a wonderful letter from Paul.
The topic pertained to reconciliation. But the reason I was there tonight is the book contains within it the idea of a community of believers and what they looked like in the 1st century. And its brilliant.
For those who have been asking me questions this quarter which have sadly seemed to be few and far between, about what God has been teaching me and what not , would see a deep pain regarding the community of believers in and around my life.
I won't go into the specifics here because that pain needs to be talked about with those individual persons that caused the pain. But I what I wanted to note is that I found community and more authentic interaction with my thesis class than those believers around me this quarter.
I remember a former student of my professor telling me about how the prof really develops a community with the class. And now I know. The depth of a community of people who didn't know each other and how they can bond over such simple actions from a person.
This quarter in that moment of realization of how community was forming in my thesis class. I realized perhaps that I the one who believed had community down was wrong. Wrong about the way I was approaching community with believers. Because I was finding a deeper community forming than I have ever seen in Christian circles.
And to be honest in this moment looking back I'm not exactly sure how I have the conception of community wrong but I know my conception of community is changing and it has to do with the idea that christian community must be mixed with faith hope and love. If it is to succeed.
Over the course of this quarter I have tried to adopt 2 principles. 1. Not saying anything of wisdom that I am not putting into practice because it then becomes empty words and 2. trying to be beneficial in every action of thing I say or do.
It's made me rather quiet and is largely why this blog probably has little practicality in it but I think it has been good in that my quiet reflection and observation have forced me to actually want to do something rather than just talking about an idea or a theology. Sometimes you just got to shut up stop giving advice and doing things the way you've always done them and reconsider your ways and thoughts. And go out and do!
-JG
