Bulldozers

I feel the urgency to write, no idea quite why yet. I feel the urgency to lay all down tonight and write. I feel called to sit here in front of my computer neglect my duties for a time. I am not quite sure what God is going to speak through me to you about but guess we'll see. I'll be just as amazed as you, the fact that dust can speak something substantle that is something

I wanted to write about an observation a teacher made about me. He said I am a bulldozer. For those of you who don't know, I am studying to be an architect at CalPoly and we have design class where teachers normally rip you apart as a person. Good if you are secure as a person not so good if you are not. During one of these crits my teacher called me a bulldozer. I like to tear things down figure out how the heck they go together and then make them better, this is true. But I think so many times I am also a recking ball. I want and have the tendency as an architect to want something new instead of working with what I have been given. I think a lot of us have that problem. I remember going over break to the denver art meuseum's new expansion and said its good the architect was so arty that he didn't feel the need to fit within the normal square walls and such, I said what a waste. The thing is though I am totally like that. I am incredibly arty yet I have this medic within me, if you will, saying you need to be sustainable and you need to help other people. My world view in a sense doesn't fit inside my calling, and I don't know what quite to make of that. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am supposed to be in this major. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God is going to do something amazing with my life. It's just incredibly hard to see when I tear things down in my life alongside God, and there is a lot of cleanup and renovation that need to be done what exactly will come of it.

God will work it all out in the end, this I know I wonder though what the heck He is going to do?

JG

Atop the World

Yesterday I got the chance to go atop the hills that surround Cal Poly. There was some frustration brewing within me and I felt a need to commune where in a sense I had sojourned before. God always has a way of in a sense of sweeping me off my feet while I meet Him in the hills .

He normally grants me a song, a picture, and some scripture. Yesterday there was a lot more scripture than normally and a lot of it concerned the city of Tyre, I honeslty have no idea what the heck that is all about so I will not mention anything about that besides every passage the wind blew open to was about Tyre. So I am positive God has more to speak about Tyre, but God and I have not had that convo yet.

He led me back to Isaiah, He seems to favor that book while I am in the hills. God has been speaking to me through Isaiah 22 for a long time now,well more like the past month and a half, whenever I am in the mountains or the hills away from civilization and things are quiet and sweet. I have had many misled ideas about the meaning of what the verses within the chapter mean, I remember telling Colin a while back that I thought God was going to give this baptism of the holy spirit that I have been seeking out and that these verses stated it. I don't know if that is going to happen or not or if that even exists but I know something is changing within me. These verses speak of a valley and walls crumbling and crying to the mountains. God is bringing me to the end of me, where the fence is knocked down, where all walls are knocked down and I finally am what God has destined me to be, I am by no means there yet, I am def striving toward that goal thought and It will be awesome to see how God conveys my life story in words when I know everything is changing gnarlycore( gnarly+ hardcore=gnarlycore). I am pretty stoked to say the least.

I felt today God leading me to write impassioned words letting words come out that haven't come out in a long time. I found it was my sensitivity returning to the state of the heavens and God's very heart. I have not been that in tune for a long while. I was relieved to find myself still in a season where I don't have to speak up except prompted. The responsibility fell upon other leaders and it was sweet to see fiery words come and people repenting.I know this probably doesn't mean anything to a lot of you, the before mentioned ramblings. Anyways though I will continue because this is merely a record for me. God is carrying me beyond the broken fence, cracking boulders, and doing amazing things. That is personally really exciting, probably not exciting for you because it is not your own soul that is being divided from the spirit. It's mine though, and that is cool.

JG

Return

Oh pitch that resonates
Resonates within me
Oh dear broken one
Split in two

Dust of the ground
From the largest boulder
Dust turned to mud
Flowing from the father's eyes

If I could cry tears
Enough to water your fields
If I could embrace your cold heart
I would warm it with my fire

Can’t you see child
Don’t be so quick to turn away
Can’t you see child
Return, commune with me

Arise and do not fear
See the daybreak
Arise and see the new dawn
I will carry you

Lift up your hands, feel it
Don’t be so quick to turn away
Lift up your eyes, see these tears
Return, commune with me

Child sing the song I gave you
The day the wind began to sweep your land
Child, pour out your broken cup
The New has come

Redefined...provoking thoughts from this morning

So I sit here, same desk, same chair, same computer but things seem... well, a lot different. As my sister once wisely spoke to me each quarter is a different balance. We should not expect things to stay the same

This morning I woke up at about 3am or so to some coyotes howling. I sat in bed for a while thinking .I do not exactley remember where my thoughts went but they were trying to make some sense out of my very...well, scattered thoughts as of late. I presume that these coyotes, often depicted howling at the moon, are a perfect example for God to show me that things have in a sense changed very drastically. Light has in a sense begun to pierce through darkness in the literal and figurative. It is by no means a full light only a reflection of the sun but it is light in much darkness and for that I am very grateful.

Here are the thoughts I came to this morning:

God led me to Romans 3:20b it says" ...that every mouth may be closed and all the world may become accountable to God." I would encourage all of you to read this section of scripture because it points out two oftentime missed points in Christianity. One, our ultimate accountability is with the Father in heaven not with our christian brothers.I cannot beging to count the times that my fellow brothers in Christ have made stumbling blocks for me, I am done with that, my ultimate accountability is with God from now on. Two, we as christians cannot sit idle and apathetic. We as Christians must start looking at things correctly, no more of this sin is not really bad if you sleep with someone before you are married, if you look at a woman with lust you are an adulterer, if you eat too much you are a glutten, sin is serious . It is my belief and I will stick to it until God convicts me of perhaps being wrong that the reason there does not exist a true representation of christianity in our culture is because we refuse to be holy as scriptures tells us to be and we do not make it about the personal relationship dealing with the exterior not the heart.

God has been like a skilled surgeon cutting out this part of me for a while I guess you could call it sanctification. My apathy is by no means gone and my laziness is by no means cured but it is on the mend because God is teacing me something quite profound...

This section of scripture comes from Paul explaining the advantage afforded to the jew. He says that they were entrusted with what the NASB calls "oracles of God". That sounds pretty classy I must say. Paul gets really excited about the fact that the jews had these and that they in a sense couldn't screw up the message of salvation because a prophet would come around every so often and turn the people back.These oracles of God are pretty much the prophets, utterances of God, apostles, and basically anyone who has any type of inspiration by God in the time before Paul. Basically the old testement. He explains though that to us as christians we have responsibilities because of the importance afforded to us by being on this side of slavation. This is because Jesus is the last prophet. As it talks about in Hebrews 1:1-2 God...has in these last days spoken to us by His Son" We let Jesus be our prophet, our divine utterance in this age as the Christian. It is all about Jesus and we need to not be apathetic anymore because without a prophet as the old testament has every generation or so we have been two thousand years without our prophet. We have the Holy Spirit inside of us and that is a greater gift. We need to be careful though that we are not so far off and repent. We must understand that the spirit of God is emotional in the same way that Jesus wept when he found out Lazarus had died and he does get grievous. The same heart that makes us shed tears for the lost is within the Spirit of God. He desires earneslty to enter into the unbelieving heart but because of sin he is grieved and has intense pain. We've got to get rid of this sin thing. I suggest we start with the apparent sins that damage out communities first. That is different for each place. Sin has to go.

JG

Angel standing between

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

Fear that strikes me speechless
The angel standing between
bridging the gap...divinity

could it be...
...can this be?

Your sword out of its sheath
face buried, holy ground beneath my feet
yet no sentence was gave

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

Eyes shut, face down on my knees
His holy array, before my very face
splendor, glory, and majesty

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

open hands embrace my face
...Your love displayed
could it be...my God still before me
...can this be?

JG

We forget because we do not take the time to look

Elise and I ended up taking most of yesterday off and decided to go exploring around this beautiful area surrounding San Luis Obispo, CA. We were headed up 40 miles north anyway to do some errands so mine as well take the scenic route. I was reminded of one thing while in the midst of God's vast expanse on our drive and our three mile walk. One we forget oftentimes, infact a lot of the times, because we simply do not take the time to look. I go to school in one of the most beautiful areas of the world and I do not take the time to in a sense smell the roses every once in a while, what a shame.

In my own life I am reminded that God has had to instill and reteach lessons time and time again. I am reminded that all though in a sense I keep my thoughts recorded more than most I do not go back and see the profoundnity of these lessons learned in past times. If we cannot take the time to remember what God has taught us and make it speak as profound we will most certainly lose it.

I was reminded two nights ago when I was talking to my friend Andrew about how life was going how amazing simply stating what God has done is. I stated all that God has done over the course of this school year. What a wonderful thing it was to go back and remember such things. God is so good, so faithful.

JG

Wake

Morning rise, wake!, see the beginning unfold
as golden reflections appear in these panes
to merely capture a glimpse of the Sun
Clouds that have taken you,
forever stirring and brooding
Surely nothing can compare

Wake the moment has come,
on this day I have come to see
reflections turn to Full Glory

Afternoon sun, you see the bluest lake
now transformed by His glory
Ripples of light echo in your very waters
O God of Light, outshining the Sun
Partial is my perception
Different Light, I could dream of such things

Gone are the shadows of the night
on this day I have come to see
this eager anticipation in my heart

Oh Evening coming, how could it be?
that You would carry me by Your cloak and on Your wings
That the You would take me to Your place
Creator and my Maker, come once again
Light that will no longer bend, but that will pierce
On that day, I will truley wake!

Wake the moment has come,
on this day I have come to see
reflections turn to Full Glory

JG

Something Stirring

For those of you that have been in San Luis obispo over the past few days, you know full well that the wind has been very active lately. I can't help but imagine that it happens to be a perfect metaphor for the stirring and in a sense the movement that is happening within a lot of the students here at CalPoly. I think for the first time in a longtime and in the history of the christian church we have realized, more stumbled, by God's grace onto a simple truth about our faith that is in a sense the deepest most profound part of our faith. I would call it revival but I will not use the word because it has become so trite in christian circles. It is Of. We are begining to seek with "ALL."It is a beautiful thing.

"Ask and it shall be given, Seek and you will surely find, Knock and the door will be opened"
-God
"Seek first the kigdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"
-God

I would never mention anything of the full knowledge I have gained I will say though, for those who seek they will find, if such knowledge becomes yours you will fully understand what is happening in this little town on the coast of Cali. Needless to say these past few days I have been meditating and thinking on a lot of the propecies surrounding my life and what God I know through spirit filled indivduals is doing in this small town near the coast and on the larger scale .Needless to say I am excited to see what God does, to see His every word fulfilled in my lifetime. It is greater than I could ever dream, bigger and grander than anything I could percieve. It makes my heart skip a beat and then beat with even greater anticipation. It makes me wear a smile forever on my face.

"This is what I have gained after letting go to grow. In order that I find a deeper truth for my own and my own understanding but ultimatey a deeper meaning in Him. I have lost so much yet have gained every ounce back and am to gain more. That is something! Embarking upon true understanding on the central issue and central understanding that is lacking."

JG!

Cultural identity & lessons form the Storms

(written at SFO)

I was sitting on the plane like I normally do when I have my deep thoughts on my travels to someplace. I was thinking that perhaps culture is an oftentimes missed subject in the Christian church.After some thought on the subject I believe it to be far too neglected. I was thinking though that most of our frustrations lie within the culture and how to in a sense relate to it while still remaining apart from it, shouldn't we focus on it if it the source of our frustation or figure out why? We have never fully understand it as Christians and do a really poor job of teaching God's elect about culture.

I don't believe it is a plan by any means or a piece of knowledge beyond the personal with Jesus Christ. I am simply writing because few without a helpful letter or thought provoking blog will think about such things. I am a means for those who won't look at God's word and get the better or better interpretted plan from Him.The fact remains though that in relating to the culture we need to change our outlook on it. I think foremost we need to change a few of our mindsets on a few key things and I feel myself repetitive in writing things over and over because I write to a specific auidence.

I remember last time I was in san fransisco I wrote something about the homosexual population here or something to that degree that they are a major foundation for art and thought and they are genrally a source for a lot of good in the world.This contributes greatly to the city's culture. It is a city that enjoys intellectual thought and enjoys showcasing how diverse it it a modern day Athens if you will. I think oftentimes we miss the point though as Christians when we look at a city like that, we judge too frequently, and get in the middle when we are supposed to be on the sidelines praying. Sin is the issue but it was always about us relating back to Jesus, we see it all over the gospels. Everything in the entire bible if looked at with an open mind and original intent it was all to point to Jesus. We somehow can't tie Jesus into our culture though for some odd reason as christians why?

I could probably say that we're stupid as a culture of chirstians. I could probably say that we are lazy and don't understand enough about our culture. I would probably be right in making such judgements but if my words here go only to the point of complaining and not helping then what is the point.

Here's what I see about our culture. Art is supposed to make a statement and say something, but what does it do. It really sucks at getting its purpose done unless words are spoken to explain it or some previous knowledge is known about it. I got to go to the Denver Art meusem and I was amazed at the fact that the art was there to trigger a response. A nude mona lisa, eighteen life size bobbleheads etc. Honestly a lot of it was crap, including the building. It was interesting to say the least with its non ninety degree anything but I saw the fact that the snow was dripping into the building they probably should have cared more about longevity than the fact that the asthetics of that one corner.

Our culture doesn’t care about longevity or craft. We have lost the whole point that we have so many art projects in a sense without purpose. We have a world where people are starving and we have a thirty foot dustpan, how bout we act and not say so many words with our painted picture. Couldn’t we have saved the life of someone in the world instead of creating such rediculous things.

America is so much a nation where the mentatility is bliss and the consumtion of ice cream if eliminated could feed the entire world. That is sad. Could it be that I am supposed to stay here. Is it true that I am supposed to be a man that should involve myself in the world and get my hands dirty always being loyal to my Jesus and to no one else. Yes! My whole being cries out and says yes whole heartedly. Opinions of men do not matter anymore…my ultimate accountability partner is in heaven.

This is the point I have lost amidst finding friends being immersed into much and opening up to many. This is what I have gained after letting go to grow. In order that I find a deeper truth for my own and my own understanding but ultimatey a deeper meaning in Him.

I have lost so much yet have gained every ounce back and am to gain more. That is something! Embarking upon true understanding on the central issue and central understanding that is lacking.

JG

Rustle in the Breeze

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh the rustle in the breeze
I see you for once
Oh the thaw in the freeze
I feel every ounce

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh flame that is fanned
and love all refined
Oh kindled this flame
and so it became

Oh fire that now is enraged
and passion no longer caged
Oh breath of God, His very voice
reverberating and resounding, I am called to rejoice

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh nature itself has been set into motion
and dancing and singing in apparent comotion
Oh light that was hidden in darkness these nights
has led to Your glory of wonderful new lights

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

JG

Lessons from Lake Dillon

I am amazed to find how God can speak through the simplest things. That it does not take His Word to make us learn lessons or hear His voice. I guess this is what struck me this morning. God is so desperate to get in touch with his creation that He speaks through any means He can. He is the ultimate pursuer. I forget that so often.

I found myself as I normally do when God chooses to speak, in profound yet simple ways, by a body of water. On this particular morning I found myself aside the frozen waters of lake Dillon in Colorado.

I don't remember whose decision it was to venture out onto the lake. Needless to say though Elise and I decided to venture out onto the frozen stillness. I am still not quite sure what God was trying to speak from this experience but He was speaking so intimately to my ,much like the lake, half frozen heart.

I could hear the ice moaning . Unlike anything I had ever heard.

(pause)

Honestly that is what my heart and mind did they became as still as the very ice that was in the lake when I heard the noises that the lake was making.

(pause)

It is interesting that God chooses to speak to me through His creation and His creation's nature. To have me sit and stand on a lake that was a metaphor for the path God has for my life and my heart. To have me on the first of the year remember that I am nowhere close to spring.To make me see there is much crying and moaning in the process I have set myself on.

Needless to say that was...quite something.

I need not struggle against something that cannot change, to somehow believe I can be any more righteous than the entitelment granted me by Jesus' death on the cross. To somehow believe I can speed up the process of sanctification within myself. To somehow fight when I have a Warrior King soaked in blood and I am the one who wears white. How naive was and am I still?

I have in a sense been building walls when I have been grasped so firmly and put in a place where walls need not be built. I refuse to let God strip me bare, my pride refuses to let go. There is a groaning in my soul because of the undercurrent that is waging war.

As of late I have been in search of what most christians would call "Baptism of the Holy Spirit." I have been in a sense questing for what is now approaching about six months, ever since this season of life began where nothing is defined the same. I have gotten on my knees several times and asked that this gift be given, but it is not time yet, I am still by nature whether I like to admit it or not, flesh.

There is a selfish motive I must confess on my part. I want out of this season so badly. I am not going to lie that this has been the worst quarter of my life. I have gained a lot of what God said He was going to do and I have been given many "treasures of darkness." These are wonderful things to grasp and understand but being in the dark so long I long so desperatley for any light.

God showed me much more from the lake this morning but I feel for simplicity sake I will leave it here.I will say though that God showed me this morning what needs to change with this upcoming quarter...and it is going to look very different. I am redefined as a person and will act according to this man that God has fashioned.

JG