Bulldozers

I feel the urgency to write, no idea quite why yet. I feel the urgency to lay all down tonight and write. I feel called to sit here in front of my computer neglect my duties for a time. I am not quite sure what God is going to speak through me to you about but guess we'll see. I'll be just as amazed as you, the fact that dust can speak something substantle that is something

I wanted to write about an observation a teacher made about me. He said I am a bulldozer. For those of you who don't know, I am studying to be an architect at CalPoly and we have design class where teachers normally rip you apart as a person. Good if you are secure as a person not so good if you are not. During one of these crits my teacher called me a bulldozer. I like to tear things down figure out how the heck they go together and then make them better, this is true. But I think so many times I am also a recking ball. I want and have the tendency as an architect to want something new instead of working with what I have been given. I think a lot of us have that problem. I remember going over break to the denver art meuseum's new expansion and said its good the architect was so arty that he didn't feel the need to fit within the normal square walls and such, I said what a waste. The thing is though I am totally like that. I am incredibly arty yet I have this medic within me, if you will, saying you need to be sustainable and you need to help other people. My world view in a sense doesn't fit inside my calling, and I don't know what quite to make of that. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am supposed to be in this major. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God is going to do something amazing with my life. It's just incredibly hard to see when I tear things down in my life alongside God, and there is a lot of cleanup and renovation that need to be done what exactly will come of it.

God will work it all out in the end, this I know I wonder though what the heck He is going to do?

JG