In faith

It's funny how you grow up and things begin to change. Those things you once thought were so important now seem so incredibly pointless. And its not at all that it lost its point, its just lost a point to you. 

It seems so much is changing as of late. 

I know past my ignorance and pretend bliss though that change is a great necessity. 

Life has a way of growing us up and in it we learn what a great hope Christ is. How truly he  loves us and how futile we are to even try to keep it all together when approaching His feet. 

That perhaps is what I am coming to...finding a great immensity of grace. 

...and an endless pursuit I can't see an end to. 

And I can only really speculate as to what God is doing and where these jumbled thoughts will fuse together in the light of His face. And perhaps that is where I should stop in faith that all great confusion transition and change all come together and in every moment his wonderful hands work so unendlessly, without ceasing  to show me its alright by the Soverignty of His mighty hands. 

To His glory alone,

JG

School is back in full swing. 

God's got my back.

Coffee is once again entering my veins. 

-JG

An afflicted Spirit

...when the cross is working deeply a believer comes to know himself. He realizes how undependable are his ideas,feelings, and desires. Hence he dare not trust himself but trembles in all matters, acknowledging that except he be sustained by the power of God he shall unquestionably fail. We must never be independent of God. The moment our spirit ceases to tremble before Him at that precise moment it declares its independence from Him. Except we sense our helplessness we shall never trust God. A spirit which trembles before Him shields one from defeat and helps him to truly apprehend God. 

-Watchmen Nee

Some more honest thoughts

 I got back into San luis Obispo Monday night. Been spending the past couple getting my life back in order resting etc. 

As of yesterday I had nothing left on my list besides:

1. pray

2.find a job

3.get print cartridges

The reason I write though is although everthing is in order for this upcoming school year and I should feel on top of things, I really don't feel on top of things at all. The bible calls men of God, me, to an impossible life. One in which if I am not leaning on the spirit for strength and renewed purpose each day I fail.  

There is grace this I know oh so well, but when I ask questions like does what I am doing inspire awe in others like back in that first century church or is my life impossible to live out? I honestly can't answer those with yes. 

Just some honest thoughts. 

God's ways are not my ways. 

I must never lose sight of that. 

To His glory alone, 

by His grace alone,

JG

Communication

It has been forever quite honestly. And in many senses I don't know where to begin.

I ran out of drywall to put up today. 

I felt like a character in one of those civilization building games where I ran out of material and didn't know what to do. This was the first time i feel like I found myself a little ahead of where I wanted to be in regards to the basement. In many ways it just feels so overwhelming at times but it is beautiful with the prospect of me leaving this upcoming Sunday that the rest will no longer be in my care. As it slowly takes shape I found myself with much to be proud of. 

I wanted to blog though because 1. I have time but 2. cause I wanted to mention some thoughts I have had lately

See, I was talking to my mom the other day as we went out shopping and running errands. We were talking about the holy spirit and how he doesn't seem to shine as bright these days as he did in that 1st century church era. That question of why still bugs me. A great deal in fact.  God has healed a lot of my thoughts toward the church and given me a peace in His sovereignty regarding it but I find that the only real question that seems to still nag at my soul and I can currently discern in not trusting in is in regards to this one thought. That is a run on I know. So are my thoughts about such a question. 

Perhaps this is the new question I am to search out and God wishes to lead me into.

I could speculate on why but honestly I really don't have that answer. If I had an answer it wouldn't bug me. 

But one thought that i can rest in is that God is God. He doesn't communicate like us. He hardly ever speaks in audible words in the way we think of communication and so it is with the Spirit. He communicates without them oftentimes. Perhaps a lack of "display of power" or such lack of words is a testament to his character in an constant attempt for communication on the ways that we don't.  

So I ask what would it look like to truly listen to the Spirit?

Anyways some thoughts to ponder on. 

Signing off with body sore as usual, but Spirit shining bright within

To His Glory alone

JG