If only I had time to put together a coherent thought

So I want to blog really badly but I am only left with 10minutes of free time this afternoon so perhaps I may be able to blog tonight!...I am really hopeing but let's just say God is AMAZING!!! what He is doing here is amazing. Also what he is doing around me is AMAZING!!! What He is doing in people is AMAZING!!! And I wish so badly to make a coherent thought of text tonight because my God is so AMAZING!!! and I hope you can get a glimpse through the words I write here. So until tonight...!!!

JG

Peaceful Lullabies

These times when paper seems to be so rare
and I need to write these words to you
where oceans break and sunsets still
when I find myself on this road inbetween

With peacefull lullabies, and traveling hope
when Your ways seems so truly wonderful

You are surrounding
You are this stillness
How could this happen to me
I am so undeserving

I look back on the faithfullness of the past
I am simply staggered
I look forward to this faithfullness continuing
I am simply amazed

With peacefull lullabies, and traveling hope
when Your ways seems so truly wonderful

with a heart of peace
with a heart of wonder
I love You, I love Your ways
in this beautiful stillness

It's been an interesting week almost in a sense being thrown into an apparently similar situation going back to school etc. but so radically different than last year. The thing is things here are so wonderfully foreign to me that I can't seem to make any sense of it. But I know that is what exactly and how it is supposed to play out...because there are lessons to be learned in faith and trusting in God's faithfullness. By all accounts looking back on my life and God's incredible faithfullness I shouldn't even doubt he will be faithful and sovereign in the future. Yet somehow I do sometimes and that has led me to honestly question how deep my faith really does run. I know I have grown so much in that this summer and even as 1 thessalonians talks about that I would pursue on to sanctification even more, and I have seen God's faithfulness in doing that so much. I know though that my faith is not flawless, but I will pursue it til in my belief and my faith in Jesus I believe Him to be the very God He exclaims Himself to be.

I know in so many ways I am begining to see the rippling effect of this revival that is currently happening and it is a beautiful ripple. For instance yesterday while I went down to Magic Mountain and I happened to be in line for the Goliath( sweet roler coaster) there was this group of like 13 people just singing to our True Maker at the top of their lungs and it was beautiful. I have seen so much that what Christians have in the fellowship department is so sweet and it is not to be even compared to anything else because it is that different when it is true.

I got the oppurtunity I think it was wednesday night to meet the summer project that went down to Santa Monica and the fellowship and them just wanting to sing worship songs enjoying the company of God in each other's presence that was so sweet. I got the chance to lead them in a couple of worship songs and I wonder why so much blessing has come to me with my talents and abilities and i know God just wants to bless us so much if only we let Him and know as the little saying says JESUS LOVES YOU, think about that a perfect God love YOU that is something to sing about.

Anyways the rooomates are up and about and I need to get some food in me, so until I find a divine appointment with my keyboard you are all in my prayers and I love all of you so incredibly much. This place is blessed and I love it.

JG

Week one!

Campus Crusade has about 2,000 contact cards from the WOW week SLO bound downtown event. I, along with all the other T1 Bible study leaders are going to follow up on the freshmen in the dorms who showed interest (roughly half of the cards, so about 1,000). There is a lot of fruit to be taken by storm from this place. Cal Poly is tremendously blessed, as a tree abundantly producing fruit and as it falls on the ground, the seed takes root and new trees are born. We have Christian clubs and events and community, and all the resources that most college Christian communities could only dream of having. My prayer is that we will not just win the freshmen, or even stop with building them into men and women of God, but that we we will send them out to the corners of the earth both domestically and abroad, workplace, and home with a passion to disciple others and send them out as we did them. I pray God that we will fulfill the great commision and not just be a Christian comfort zone for four years. We have all the opportunities in the world, without much, if any persecution. Thank you God for all of the men and women that have gone before me and prayed the way for all of this to be possible! I pray let us never ever take for granted all the blessings that you have given to us. Prepare our hearts, Lord and use me and all the other leaders. Develop us into the leaders you desire, that we may train, encourage, and disciple others that they may do the same as they walk in our footsteps, and we in the footsteps of the ones that stepped up to the plate before us. God, I want my years here to continue throughout eternity through the way I am able to impact my freshmen guys. I pray use us, though we are not perfect, because that is what you love to do, God!
-Colin

Being Back

Undoubtably it is nice to be back but it is not the same in any likness and that is a shame but of definate necessity. It seems strange because in a sense I almost feel depressed being back, I can't exactley put a finger on it. Who knows maybe its spiritual warfare, maybe the change, maybe realizations about just how truly awesome the first year was. Like I said before I don't know I can't put my finger on what it is.

Things are good though I really like the people I am living with but I need to take the first steps in getting things in order for the line of accountability and other things etc. that need to be set up in a sense. God gracously gave me all those things last year but this year I am actually having to take initative in things and it is rough because it is so incredibly different.

Untitled

It is seldom that I would refuse to name something because I believe it is nice to know what one is looking at in generality...but today I will leave this blog title as Untitled because I believe there to be no structure to what exactley God is doing here. Consequently because of that my writing here will likewise have no structure but I know it all is going to work out for His glory but I can put no thread of commonality between the two. And quite frankly that is really awesome! Thank God that He doesn't work in the common ways that there is creativity in His ways! That in every step that we are able to take through Him we can move in uncertain ways new ways!

The last couple days have def been interesting, def unstructured. I ended up pulling an "all nighter" with the middle schoolers the fri-Sat before I was to fly out on Sunday. A forth of them ended up accepting Christ, about 15 total which was awesome but I do wonder why there seems to be victory over Satan whenever and wherever I go, because after this summer i do not view myself as highly as I once did, I consider myself nothing compared to my Jesus and His spirit within me.

Another interesting thing that happened is I feel so unprepared for this upcoming year because I have no idea what it is going to look like...in a sense I am only dependant on Christ which is a totally honestly new thin, the place I should be always but I feel so weak. I am gaining so much understanding in all this silence and season but how my flesh would trade it for a season of emotional consistency and strength in my own right.

It's interesting now being back at school because in a sense it is so radically different than what I knew last year but I think it is awesome because I need not establish any commonality if I am to truly pursue Jesus Christ. Honestly I feel part of me wanting to simply be babied but as it talks about in the bible I need meat not milk.I know I have entered a new era of my christianity and I need fear nothing beside my Father or get discouraged in anything but this season it is a killer I don't know what is going on I have consistent headaches I feel almost as if something is missing and granted school hasn't started yet and I don't have anything to keep my mind off of things but I am so sick of this season .

My worst fear is the fact that maybe it won't be the same which obviously it is not going to be the same. Things are rekindled but they are themselves a different fire and keep dilgence and more effort to do things. I am so sick of this season once again. Rory comes home today which will be good, I do wonder if the whole kinda funk I am in is because I am not surrounded by non[-christians because I know I have a mission field and that is the whole field I am called to. Perhaps God is clarifying that within me or perhaps he is simply pointed out the necessity for that calling in my life in particular.

Evan and Matt are great and I know they have necessary things to do but I wish they would just come and talk . That is what I will be praying to is that they would simply just come out and talk to me . Because I feel lonely I have always had the ability to ask really good deep questions but I don't think beyond that i have any special abilities with relationships it all seems to flow from who I am and the suckyness I have in relationships.

Or perhaps maybe this is all to draw me to Elise which I am fine with but I know you are not calling me to neglect the guys here in this apartment. It is very difficult to determine your calling in my life and I am quite useless it would seem. I just feel so powerless placed in situations I put myself in but not knowing what exactley it is all about and why you directed me into this place. I am called to delight. Mr. Nee wants me to be still but not anylyze what is going on. I think in gaining this new ground I neglected some of the older. I hate how this is always a balanceing act between the new and the old. Keeping the old but never forgetting the present and rooting outselves in the future. It is so difficult to manage.

I seem to just be ranting maybe because of all of it but I just want to say that I am just so incredibly tired of it all.

I wonder though what exactley this new era will look like but I know it will be good...and that is good but it is very unsettling everything being foreign.

JG

Gentile and Jewish Entitlement

I've been meditating on a question for the past couple days "Do we as gentiles have the same entitlement of blessing just as we have an entitlement for Salvation as was given to the Jews?" Now I know what you are saying of course we are entitles to the same stuff. But I believe it to be more murcky than that. Before you get all pissed at me for maybe dwelving into murcky territory and asking questions that need to be asked I am going to simply put scripture forward and my thoughts and try and string it together. I will let you decide for yourself these are merely my observances and what I see pointed out in scripture...

"If you will return, O Israel, return to me", declares the Lord"If you put your detestible idols out of my sight and no longer go astray and if in a truthful just and righteous way you swear" As surely as the Lord lives, then the nations will be blessed by Him and Him they will (give) glory (to)"
-Jeremiah 4:1-2

You can see as Jeremiah points out that if Israel returns to the Lord at any point in history putting and laying aside sin then that the entire world will give glory to Him because of it. I do wonder though if Him points and means directly Jesus(rehtorical ?) If they turn will they themselves see Glory and see Jesus? I think that is the beautiful part about it all that if we don't sin then we see Jesus all the clearer! It's strange that if the Jews turn that everyone else sees. It's very strange. Indirect missions...

God proclaims in Jeremiah 11 "cursed is the man who does not obey the terms of this covenant -the terms I commanded your forefathers when I brought them out of Egypt out of the iron smelting furnace. I said obey me and do everything I command you, and you will be my people and I will be your God. Then I will fulfill the oath I swore to your forefathers to give them a land flowing with milk and honey-the land you pocess today"

It kinda sucks for the jews that because of the covenant made 5000 years or so ago that they are cursed when they do not obey because that was their responsibility. I wonder though if living indirectly under their covenant still today if we are curse when we choose to not act in accordance with obedience. I see that all the time that God will bring us back in order that we might have purpose and be used to tell at least someone about the good news found in Jesus!

It's sad to see that almost 5,000 or so years after the covenant with Israel that that region does not know Jesus, it would seems the Jews failed. I think it was because they didn't have the holy Spirit. That is probably why in round two with the gentiles he sent the Holy Spirit because he knew without it we couldn't do it.

One question remains though "Should we as gentiles bring this idea up once again of blessing flowing in indirect missions? "

Side track...but I know this will be valuable. Elise and I have had a lot of discussion about what exactly is the best mission work and mission approach. Normally we say it inderectly and don't even realize it but the answer always ends up being prayer and a heart fixed on God. God will fulfill his promise in blessing those who bless Him but I know three fold that we must follow certain things in order to stay the path of obedience. We need not grieve the Spirit by being a people of prayer. a people firmly rooted in the word that we may recognize when the Spirit speaks.And lastly ee must fulfill the great commision by being true flames. We need to be flames of discipleship. We need to be pouring those two things into other peoples. We must pour prayer and the word into other people. It is of a necessity that we do not even comprehend!

We must always also remember that God is not done with the Jews but until they turn to Him, Jesus our savior as well, we as christians need to obey and be blessed that the world may bring Glory to Him!

JG

Lessons from Reflection upon the Jewish Intent

Like I was saying last night things have shifted over this summer. To what extent I have no idea, the only hint I have to the extent is the shocked expression I have when I look at who I am. I can't help wondering with things so different what intent God has for this new season I am entering into. My only hint comes from somethin I have learned in studying through the old testement.

Many people wonder why...in particular with the jewish people...why exactly God chose them and I think oftentimes we don't see what exactley they were put here for and why God chose them. It my strong held belief that the Jewish people were to always point to Jesus...their coming messiah! They were to be so radically different in their obedience and from the outside culture that God would be able to bless them so incredibly much that all the generations would know that their messiah was the way to salvation, that their God was the true God.

Instead of turning to blessing though they turned to the voice of another. They did not continually pour themselves into the word of the prophets. There are so many lessons we can learn. One in particular though that fits with the lake analogy of last night (that I now have a lake to draw from instead of a small pond) I believe God is calling and saying that "I want to bless you so incredibly much that the world will see your blessing and it will point to Me. That tis what I believe God is doing in San Luis Obispo. I wonder in particular why we are not mentioned in the revival prophecies that have come from those down in LA. But I am so selfish to believe that God is so good he wants to do even greater things through us even greater than reival.

I am not a hundred percent sure but I will do my best to make sure that when revival does hit as it has had its begining last year..it will never die with the people in SLO. I count on God's spirit going foreward aheadand doing as habbukuk talks about doing something that I could not even comprehend percieve or inagine.

JG

The Summer Season

This is the first time I am really sitting down stopping all I have to do and reflecting upon what exactley God has done with me this summer. It's interesting because in not stoppin since really spring break, march of this year, I am going to have to sift through an entires years worth of God's teaching in my life, and I know it is a very difficult task ahead of me because God has sifted and shaped my heart so much. I know where my heart was at this time last year and I look at my heart today and wonder what man stands before me? For if you were to see the old man I was you surely would not believe I am that same man!

I guess I will begin with the silence and perhaps only focus on that because the picture above is so fitting to what I believe the whole key to this summer was. In giving this summer one word it would fall somewhere between radically different, desert, and utter silence. And I am very careful not to define it as one word because one is not fitting at all because it has not been complete silence but rather a time of a different way of God speaking and it hasn't been a dessert because I have had diligence and been learning so much but it is dessertesqe if you will and I feel very strange in the fact that I cannot define the word.

I think the above picture is so fitting because it's not so much that I don't have any water in this dessertesqe season, maybe that's just the thing? I have an entire lake that has been given to me but I need to begin to use the lake... begin to cultivate the hard soil and let things begin to grow. But I think I look so often to the old ways, the fact that I could get my replenishment from the little lakes not this unending bigger source. And the thing is I don't know when things shifted really? All I know is that things are somehow now incredibly differetnt. I have different responsibilities because of the choices i have made for Christ. And I think that's just the thing I feel so incredibly overwhelmed because all of it is new, it is good but it is new.

Well I think that is all I will write for the evening. I will repost this tommorow with tommorows thoughts but as for now I am going to sleep.
JG

Something Unexpected

It is interesting to think of the directions that God takes us in in our lives...to think of all the unexpected u turns regular turns underpasses overpasses tunnels and everything else that He has in line for our often times not very straight directionally lives. Often times it reminds me of a quest where you have to go get something in a far off land to fix something in your own land. It is not until you have the knowledge or something you gain in that different land that you can set things right once again.

This summer has not been a straight road in any fashion andI have never known what quite to expect in it. But it has been a blessing in disguise, and a time of gaining knowledge that I need to go back to a distant land and set things once again right.

This friday in particular God took me on an unexpected turn, I thought I knew precisely what direction God was going to be directing things in...but as is the case in these summer months I have no idea being prophetically and conversaitonally blind what turn is coming up next. All I know is that I must gain something somewhere else to gain where I thought God was going. In particular God gave me friday night a very interesting direction for next year a means if you will but an end also. I will not mention it in its fullness here because I have yet to take time and pray about the matter but it involves the blessed fellowship of the saints and something even greater than revival. Think of it a people of God planted on the central coast whose hearts would never ever die in passion for Jesus and His word, His communion,His spirit, and His delight! A people who went out to all nations and preached in every single corner of the globe. Millions laying facedown running and dedicating their lives to Jesus. All starting with the personal life that we have with Jesus, everything good that will flow out of that! I think that is something to talk about.

I think to some degree retartadly I am still putting God in a box but as I have been reading about Jewish culture and how radically different Jesus is I don't think we can ever ever ever fully grasp even a glimpse of who our Creator is! Take for instance Jesus, studying jewish culture through the dead sea scrolls something radical comes out of Jesus Christ. He was the author of the parable! Before that there were no metaphors used in the average conversation or teaching but Jesus took it mainstream! He took something ordinary and made it extraordinary! We should never limit God because his ends are not even close to the ends to our means!He reflects himself in everything but it doesn't even come close!

As I take time to reflect over the next week spending time in "the fort" I will try and let the spirit clarify this direcion and these ends but I doubt mere words could contain my God's acts. He is the incromprable God after all!

May all of you who read this be blessed and I look forward to seeing all your beautiful faces very soon!

JG

To You (unexpected)

Oh the love and delight
of the Three in One, Divine Heavenly Light
of the friendship and deep communion they bring
those Three of whom I fear, love and sing

In unity I gave it all to You
Fear of God that drew me into You
blessed Spirit, that moves this heart to sing to You
I give it all to to You

To You,to You...to You

Jesus who came to earth to die
He gave it all to You,
And it was the fear of God that drew Him
blessed Spirit that moved His heart to sing
He gave it all for You

And oh the love and delight
one in three, heavenly light
and oh the friendship and deep communion that He brings
those three of whom I fear, love and will forever sing

To You, to You...to You

JG

Oh the intricate thread that ties us all
of plans uncharted and plans of fall
to know the unknowable
to find a once untrue now true fable

Oh the intricate thread that ties us all
oh to see it come in the fall

Oh to see what tapesty was weaved
in summer days, then missed, not percieved
to know hearts that were sifted
seeking God with dilegence, hearts now shifted

Oh the intricate thread that ties us all
oh to see it come in the fall

And we praise this God who has weaved it all
He who knit and paved the way for the fall
so intricate so fine, an unmistakable line
oh to see and know it all, what a beautiful time!

JG

On my right hand

There was a while, about a year and a half that I wore my purity ring on my left hand. This was a sign to God of my single devotion to His work through my life and my unwavering toward anything involving relationships. Things have changed though! Wednesday night I switched my ring from my left to my right hand, signifying that I am choosing God's plan not my own of singleness and sole unwavering devotion to God.
I know to most of you this would come as no hard choice by any means and it is the same now with me, but over the course of this year and especially over the course of this summer God has changed my heart. He has changed my direction and is designing a plan that I couldn't even imagine!
As I got the chance to talk to Elise last night, having some much needed time alone in conversation I knew that this choice to pursue God with the ring on my right hand, this is the right choice! How could God design something undesignable and execute with such beauty! I am amazed!
I do not know what plans God has I have a few general ideas but like all things God blows me away! He is so truly awesome!
JG