The Things I learn in being Silent

There have been several points in my life where I take time, in a sense be still, shut my mouth and merely listen to as one composer put the movement of the spheres.It is quite astounding what you hear if you simply shutup and what you see if you take your eyes off what you would normally look at. I decided to do this for the first time last quarter I took a vow of silence for about a week or so and I came to realize how immensely much the silence spoke during that time. I was reminded while refraining from putting effort into speech this evening how much God can do with us doing nothing. How much he can do with stillness.

I wanted to note some things tonight while my cultural pen hits this page.

I have come to realize this in my time of silence... that what prevents us from seeing is merely that we do not look. What prevents us from hearing is that we are simply not listening. What prevents us from touching is that we refuse to experience what we haven't before. What prevents us from tasting is we somehow can't seem to fathom any other than what we've known. What prevents us from smelling is that we grow accustom to our rancid smell. We do not recognize truth for truth because we do not see clearly. We do not hear clearly because we are stubborn and stagnant. We are touching the stubborn and stagnant as CS Lewis would say refusing to experience the full extent of life, the movement of life. Tasting life for what it is, every wonderful thing God gave us. The truly wonderful things God gave us.

When I was a child I did not speak for a long while. It was because no one could teach me how. I could not hear. My parents realized by their love something was wrong and showed their wisdom and took me to a doctor. They took the measures necessary to ensure and to teach me how to listen to the movement of the spheres. During that time as well as every time since then God has spoken in profound ways through silence. I came to know Christ shortly after I began to hear. Was it because of the silence, I do not know. But I do not doubt it played its part.

As I have done many times before this day I stand in silence and dare to dream a dream so impossible that if God is not in it, it is doomed to failure. It is forsaking all that I may gain everything. Shifting myself and orienting it heavenward in preperation for what is coming. No more old me...

JG

Under the influence of Noise Cancelling Headphones

I think bloggers by nature search for that "perfect title." They think about it all day in their head, running the endless possibilities through their minds, finally reaching one so different from the initial title. One, "so great" that it is no longer good enough to write about what one knows but instead one has to write something they themselves know nothing about. I see this all around me, so many empty words without knowledge. Here's a novel thought" how bout instead of making the title quality you make the content as well," just a thought. Our world is plagued with this we try and entice people with what sounds good/ looks good/ smells good etc. not what is quality. The christian blog circles, are guilty of this. We complain but never do anything about it. I propose this for those of us found in Christ before we as christians go and proclaim the "new revelation" we must make sure it is sound. We rush things far to much and in a sense ruin things because of it. If a blog cannot be backed up with scripture, not merely a verse, but the truth outlined between Genesis and Revelation, and cannot be backed up with the test of time, it really shouldn't be written. We do all to bring this world back to Christ. We do nothing out of vain ambition or conceit. We are here to help not hinder. Let words mean things and let the way of prayer be our way. We cannot rush.

I will confess here I am guilty of this..but I bring the point up to challenge many to check the quality of their work. The internet can publish anything at the click of a button. Anyone can publish anything especially with blogs. The internet is full of enough crap. Add to it only if you actually think it would be benificial to people to read what you have to say.

One last note...if you as a christian write not good things about your brother found in Christ or to the lesser extent say things . I will remind you that we are charged with preserving the unity of the bretheren beyond many other things in the bible. When we do not respect God's wishes we commit the original sin in not resepecting and viewing the authority structure properly. It says of those who do not respect authority, those who do not obey, they have become like the angels who did not respect authority in the heavens and became the workers of the devil. Please do not do this anymore my dear brothers, build one another up. My love and prayers are with you all.

JG

Sunlight after the Rain

SWEET is the sunlight after rain,
And sweet the sleep which follows pain,
And sweetly steals the Sabbath rest
Upon the world's work-wearied breast.

Of heaven the sign of earth the calm!
The poor man's birthright, and his balm!
God's witness of celestial things!
A sun with healing in its wings.

New rising in this gospel time,
And in its sevenfold light sublime,
Blest day of God! we hail its dawn,
To gratitude and worship drawn.

O nought of gloom and nought of pride
Should with the sacred hours abide!
At work for God, in loved employ,
We lose the duty in the joy.

Breathe on us, Lord! our sins forgive,
And make us strong in faith to live:
Our utmost, sorest need supply,
And make us strong in faith to die.

I'm coming Your way

If all we have is loss
Than all I have is you
If life is what we choose
My choice is you

I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way

If all we do is try
I’m giving you all mine
If faith helps us to decide
I have decided

I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way

With all of my breath
With this heart in my chest
Every look in my eye
You’ll know that I

I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way

Dawn of Insight ( teflon coated brains)

It never ceases to dumbfound me the places God brings us to as we continually seek after Him. How He continues to strip us down to the core of our being exposing all the rot that has happened inside ourselves. Over the course of this past weekend and over the course of this week God has brought me to such a place, where I realize the extent of my failures and the immensity of His grace. Through a long process It would seem dawn is rising, it would appear some new and more wonderful thing than I could dream of is rising!

For those of you who don't know what has happened over the course of this year within myself, I will try and summarize it here. To put it simply God has brought me to the end of myself this year, this is a continually daily thing not a one time thing. He continues to show me how much I suck and how awesome He is and that which is awesome within me is only by His grace. It culminated last quarter with me at the LAX airport after a freak fog storm made me get home 8-10 hours late, I remember wanting to simply cry and be embraced by the only Love I know. It continued to escalate with three blizzards, stuck in my home, forcing me to be alone with my Father in heaven and deal with what I am coming to know as Truth or as I put it here: Insight. Over break I remember upon my knees I gave it all away for the first time in a long time. We are all mere dust, and the fact that dust can speak, let alone approach God...that is something!

God since then has brought me back to how important the character of God is and how important it is to recogonize God to be who He is and not put any of our human boundaries and limitations on Him. He continues to bring me to a correct insight from His eyes, not my own, of myself.

The place I find myself today is realizing that I do not believe the Holy Spirit to be who He is,I simply do not honestly believe that He resides within me and He will, can, and most certainly is if we ask and show we will do,give us all the strength we need. Last night I came to this conclusion: I have grown tired as of late and wanted to spend this whole weekend in silence and on the beach because I was and still in part am tired. And I wonder why the Lord hasn't spoken anything to do as of late? It is because I haven't done what I was supposed to do when He spoke last. I am doing in part and more so each day what He is calling me to do but I still do suck majorly at this whole obeying God thing. For those who this wake of my disobedience has affected my deepest apologies I give.

With this insight we worship God for who He is. That He resues us a sinner every day. That those who have teflon coated brains and hearts He will forever try and get insight to stick . As Hebrews talks about He is the same yesterday today and forever. The same Jesus who died for you and me sits at the right hand of God the father and imparts his choice for grace everyday to us. That is who my God is, and I will continually forever fall in love with Him because unlike myself He gives 100% everyday and never fails me. With that insight I will look into His eyes and see who He is,and my character will be changed by the flames in His eyes and the truth that He is who He has said he is.

My prayer is that we daily might approach the throne of grace surrendered and at the end of ourselves. That although we go to large gatherings and worship God corporately that we meet "I am" individually and are changed by the ferocity of His grace and love.

JG

*I included the above picture because I was struck this weekend by the beauty and the two girls fascination with this pier and the light that came between the columns. I hope you are struck by the beauty of our Father as these two girls are with the pier.

Empire of the King

How seldom the time
I see you…only you
Rightly and altogether true
Where my heart becomes one

With the perfect Father’s grace and love
I see You…

I worship, still, blessed Lord
And my God is all He has said
Even more than I will ever comprehend
Saints and angels join to sing


The growing symphony of beauty
The growing empire of the King.

And blessed Jesus, How I love you
That I can glimpse Your greatness
To dance in Your bliss?
Who can describe the joys that rise


Within all the courts of Paradise
To see what was dead now arise?

I worship, still, blessed Lord
And my God is all He has said
Even more than I will ever comprehend
Saints and angels join to sing


The growing symphony of beauty
The growing empire of the King.

Heavenly Places

I don't quite know where to begin tonight, what to pen first, or what I should provide to those finding themselves reading such a thing as this...

(15 minutes later)

As of late things have defied being writ. This has been going on for quite a while. More than I think most know of. To be completely honest I have not journeled on paper in over 3 months. I have been unable to organize a blog in about two and a half weeks( a record for me shutting up.) and I Find myself tonight completely inadequate.I find myself without any ability to write as I once did, I am laid bare before God, not living up to his standard his weights and his measures. Knowing that He alone is the only one I can run to from now on. I have a list of do nots and no list of dos. Here is where I find myself today.

I decided to ditch my first class today, I found myself under attack in many ways this morning. It was not a pleasant thing to wake up to that when you yourself do not understand what is going in the spiritual realms and are blind to the weapons you used in the past. I am not too happy about that one still. This is one of the first things I am honestly not happy with God for doing this quarter. Undoubtably that will need to be dealt with one on one with my Father in Heaven. But I need not be upset for we know as christians that we need not despair while in apparant trials but we can rejoice because we know that our God is for us and uses all things to the benifit of those who love Him.

Do I love Jesus? Yes! That resounds witin me. He will work it all out to my benifit whether in this life or in the Next. So while in this trial I will use it to the Glory of God. I will run this race with the guarentee of what is to come, and the treasure that lies in wait for me. I will let the spirit resound within me and fight. I will let these emotions go towards the advancement of my Father in Heaven and His story and not to tears and pen these words.

Dear brothers and sisters found in our Lord Jesus,

I am concerned with the lack of stewardship within your lives. You use your treasures talents, gifts and abilities to your own benefit and do not benifit the bretheren around you. We are called to preserve this, the very thing which our blessed Jesus sweat blood for while in the garden. You are not willing to trust the one who has the whole world in HIs hands, and are so concerened with time. You do not know our God, you worry about the least important things and refuse to live the best lives there are.There is no holiness within you. You do not look any different than the world. You are so concerned with the doing that nothing comes naturally. You have forgotten the love you once had, your first Love.

What has happened to all those who call themselves sons and daughters of God? Should we not desire to be as our daddy is?Isn't He the perfect Father? Should we not learn to delight in who He is and enjoy his presence?What has happened within our hearts? What pain has come? How bruised and broken are we that we cannot accept His perfect Love?

Could it be that we are a people of little faith? A people so far gone from God in our day? So far away from the prophets of God that we cannot fathom what past generations have known? Are we removed from those who have visited the heavenly places and come back with there face aglow? NO! dear brothers and sisters.

If only we would turn? Turn to the scriptures and see away from the worlds perceptions, to see the real Jesus. To be changed forever by His character and the very face of God. Choose this day to whom you will fix your eyes upon. And do not let go of His hands, do not look away from His wonderful eyes, look to Jesus. Look towards his wonderful face I beg you. Do not forget our blessed Lord.

JG

Fracture

Here in momentary fracture
Where division comes
Where heart skips a beat
In solemnity and tears
And downcast face

Where light breaks
Here in this fracture

Symphony of light
Dance in flame around me
Reflections of the divine
shadow from the daybreak
Passage of time to reveal this rhyme

The lofty made less austere
By the hourglass

Heavenly arrow
Shatter this heart
Where the light breaks
As I lie here…
Here in this fracture

Sunrise

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill And find that…

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank you, thank you
That after the long night, you are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

You are sunrise

-Sunrise, nichole nordeman

Rise and Fall

I am always amazed at the way life seems to be busy one moment and completely stopped at others. It seems to rise and fall like a skillful symphony. However... it seems very choppy to me though for a symphony.But what do I know about the way the "symphony should be played."

I make this observation because I found it odd that I worked for about 4 straight days to be done with a huge model only to find because of the 4 or 5 so all nighter kids my lab professor decided to push the critique back a day. I am by no means complaining, I just find it interesting that I have 8 hours of free time when for the past 4 I have had none. About such matters I am observing that this thing known as life is a bit rough on the transitions .

Elise was commenting the other day how some trees have the ability to bloom over night here . What gives the tree this ability? How do these things have the ability to change amazingly quick? to grow?to change?What lesson do the trees have to teach us?

Here are the thoughts I have come to...I think like the tree every day has the ability to in a sense be new and different and we can deal with it. However, we must make each day what it is based on the ability of how much we are willing to grow, change, and adapt to the given new circumstance. Of all the seasons I have had in my life. I think the most important thing I have learned is that you really need to get over this whole change thing. I hate the whole fact we as an american culture are afraid to grow up. Our wants and desires far outweigh the benifit beyond the need.I look most recently at past quarter and the lack of ability to change and my wants and desires and how it crippled me. And now I come to realize that God alone "the desire" of my heart was all I needed, that took skillful surgery and some pounding to get into my head. I refused to deal with the things that truly needed to be dealt with.

If I simply would have looked at the trees...I would have seen and learned.

JG