Lead Us, Deliver Us

As always I was challenged tonight by TNL as always but I mean challenged in a good way in that I think too often I have blamed God because of who I am and the things I do saying that he should have made me different than who I am. And I always knew in my head that God makes you who you are for a specific reason but I think tonight I finally completed that journey from my head to my heart. In matthew, in the lord's prayer it says lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. And I've never been one for analyzing bible verses so much but I think this section and verse if anything deserves a little more then just a surface gaze.
See I think we often times are unhappy with God because of the way he made us because we don't see the plan a lot of times and the reason I think is that's because we don't pray. Let me explain see prayer does two things. One it alligns our will with the will of heaven Two, it gives us things, not always stuff though. See we can pray for all the stuff we want but only if it is in God's will will it happen but speaking specifically on sin and deliverance by prayer we think a lot of the times the same way, that it is not in God's will to save us from things because we can't seem to get out of things on our own strength alone. We can ask for deliverence but if it is not in God's will it will not happen,we think too often, maybe he want's us to battle something for some strange God purpose. But I think the part we forget is that Jesus prayed a prayer of agony in the garden of gethsemene Luke 22:43-4 and he was not OK with this whole God controlling everything too, like us he wanted deliverence but He knew God's will was ultimatley better. God being made man prayed a prayer of deliverance from evil but he did not get delivered in a defensive way by being taken out of the heat of battle or from his cup per say but rather God answered the prayer in verse 44 and sent an angel to comfort Jesus and stregthen him so he could continue in the battle being offensive and ultimatley die for our sins. And I think that's what we can't seem to grasp that God is going to be the guy that doesn't do things our way all the time but rather he will give us strength to fight when the battle seems unbearable, because He knows it is ultimatley better for us and will give us a better life.But I know that will not be enough for most people but take comfort christians for as 1 corinthians 10:13 says we can be strengthened by other brothers because no man in this age is encoutering new stumbling blocks and sin people all over the world and time have struggled with the same things. And God will never allow us to encounter any sin that can overtake us and we cannot beat. God is for us, helping us and strengthening us. May we be offensive in the evil one's attacks against us. That is my prayer that he might Deliver us by truely helping us.
JG

What ever happened to Forgiveness

As always on a Tuesday Night if I decide to go to TNL I am always fed and challenged and I get thinking. And when that happens their is no stopping me. So let me begin with how God has been preparing me and you Christian people that read this hopefully you can see what God is doing or I'll try to explain at the end what I think He is doing.

1st it all began last night after I had, really thinking about it, a really good day. But as I realized tonight it is never going to be the same in regards to seeing my friends almost every day and it is literally a whole moving to the next level of my life. I had to say goodbye to Dusty, who I consider probably my best friend. We have been through a lot together and experienced some good life. It is hard. So as I sat in solitude last night listening to what God has for me the next month I began crying, I'll admit it I cry occasionally, not because I'm sad more because I realize I am so undeserving of the grace shown to me. And as I sat there listening, and for those of you aren't Christian's silence is one of the few ways God will actually speak to you. So if you are a Christian and don't practice being silent in front of God, start doing it it will help you know what God is doing in your life as well as the world. It says in the psalms be still and know that I am God. That is a command not a suggestion. Be still people, be silent.

Anyways after I had talked and listened to God a peace came over me. About this whole week and about that I have done what I can with this people personally and this month is about getting me prepared for what lies ahead, so let me tell you it is going to be a hard month. But I know that God is with me every part of it. So continuing with my day I woke up this morning and sat in stillness once again for two hours till the phone rang with Jonathan on the other end asking about his Mac of course and then I began my day. But I realized for once as I stated last night that silence is key to being at peace with the craziness that is this world. But anyways I went to the dentist with my sister and five hundred dollars and fifteen minutes later I had read some Tozer and saw what was happening in my life and the areas that God is beginning to let me know that need changing in this month but that was only the beginning. See I got into this long conversation about homosexuality with Christine and we mainly agreed that people who have same sex attraction are honestly really good people. That they don't deserve to be called names or be treated any differently. And then God smacks me in the face for a thing I did about a year ago. I along with some friends called this one guy in a movie who was struggling to find out who he was sexually an idiot because we all new he was straight. But the smack came when tonight's section was about love and forgiveness and how if we were a Christian community that exhibited those traits nothing would keep people away and me being a person that helps in not showing love sometimes was helping this to not happen within the church.

See we as humans live in a world in an endless cycle of blame and pain as Dave says. Where people are constantly blaming other people which causes pain and then vice versa in an endless cycle. But if we as Christians could show people love unconditionally as our father has shown us we would be unstoppable because people want to be forgiven and ultimately loved. But not many people have that down, but that is what the church is supposed to do. But I learned tonight that I had been showing love to most people because that is who I am but it is my responsibility because Christ died for me to do two things. One show love to God and show love to other people, all people. Anything not those two things is sin which I should not be doing as a Christian. See I think subconsciously I had always viewed sin as a list of don'ts and where the line gets fuzzy I really had no clue. See I didn't know about homosexuality if people were born gay or not I've researched it and their are people who have come out of it with Christ's help and strength and they have laid it aside as Paul talks about doing with any type of sin but it still knocks on their door occasionally and then there are Christians who can't find their way out of it. But see is it really sin on their end. I know it is only when it goes into sex and lustful thoughts just like any heterosexual male. Once it gets to that it is sin because we were made to have pure relationships with another and since the fall none of us can really grasp love in true form because we have never known it and as we get further and further away from the dawn of creation those relationships get worse and worse. And this is the time when us Christians need to stop worrying about what is right and wrong and begin to define the grey area of morality with the questions 1. Are we showing love to God and 2. Are we showing love to others. Not by interpreting the bible as we want too or would like to. Because although we may not struggle with such things we sin and do not show God love too when we don't show a person with same sex tendencies love and caring about them. God loves everyone the same and counts all sin the same. He just wants to show his love to people, all of them no matter who they are what they have done, or what place they are in. God loves all of you and me so much and I hope you and I can learn to grasp that. And because he loves you and I so much we can hopefully learn to forgive and love other people more then ourselves. Check out Mark 12:28-34. The words of Jesus explain things far better then I ever could.
JG

When The Right Lane Goes 85

I'm sitting here in the stillness of my room with only God and I. I've always enjoyed this type of atmosphere the night the way how even a little light can show forever in total darkness. All I can think about is how impatient I am to get out and start at Calpoly and about how all of my friend are leaving me. But as my little adventure down to CO Springs today taught me we can rush and hurry all we want but ulltimately with the way things work we will arrive at the destination about the same time as the car that followed the speed limit. The thing about CO highways is that normally they run about 10 mph above what the posted speed limit is and this is the right lane. So it is keep up or be the target of extreme road rage. But I was thinking, because that is a really pretty drive down there, that we don't really take the time to just sit and be still. We don't take time to slow down. We are always in a rush but the thing is we ultimately don't know what to do with the down time of our lives. So the struggle is how to just slow down be still and enjoy it. And perhaps with the understanding of how crazy of a summer this has been, I'm thinking I know what God wants me to do with this down time. He want me to not be occupied so much with friends, not help along as much any more change in the church, no longer listen to other people as much. He want's me to listen to him and only him. I need to see what lies in this heart after the death of Nate after the change of three small group leaders, the change of a youth pastor and college leader. I need to find out what has changed within me. So I am gonna take a break for a while put my thoughts and feelings together. Figure out where my desire and passion has gone. So if I don't talk to you in a while, I'm sorry, but I need to devot some time to myself. I hope you understand. I need to be alone. I feel that is what God is calling me too as my friends begin to leave. I love all of you so much you have no idea.
JG

A Longing for Heaven

Have you ever wondered why? I mean simply asked the question? See for me i wonder a lot about why if all these things we think are supposed to make us happy make us unhappy, what really makes us happy? I mean its a good question, naturally you would say that those things that make us unhappy would make us happy. But why? I mean I really can't stand the fact that those things that I do that will make me unhappy will really make me happy in the end. I hate the fact sometimes that mankind is fallen when all I want to do is no longer sin and just experience uninterupted fellowship with God. And you think that desire within me would cause all of the sin in my life to go away. But no I have to be involved in this heavenly battle because Satan decided one day he wanted power. I hate him so much. I want this whole spiritual battle to end I want Satan to be thrown into the lake of fire and I want sorrow to end, I want feeling guilty to go away, I want feeling dirty to go away. Mankinds prediciment really sucks so what should I do not feel guily about sinning because I could say the Devil made me do it. I never want to do that because that just allows him to win this stupid war that he started. The thing is when I sin I ruin my witness and ultimatlety am not showing people God's love because I am being selfish. Ultimatly being selfish is not a good thing. It says in the bible blessed are the peace makers. I don't want war anymore in the world as well in the spiritual realm. I really am just ready to see God, I would never kill myself, but that is where my heart is at. My heart's desire is to see God face to face tell him I'm sorry that this whole war started and that I could not muster up enough faith to call on God and say I need you and finally experience the love that defies everything. God I want to change, but sometimes it is hard and I know you are preparing me for the plans you have for me. I just pray that I can honor you with my life. That I can realize that I need you, and that my only desire is for you. I love you God, I want to be with you. I long for heaven.

A Burrito Once Spoke To Me

So the AC has been out for nearly 3 days now and I think I am finally getting to realize what most people who don't have AC live like. In fact I think it is dawning on me that I come from a family that has provided for me, every need every want filled, and wow is it amazing. I'm not trying to be snooby or anything, don't take that from this. But I just wanted to say that us "rich kids" we are so unconditioned and new to the whole idea of being without what we want and what we need. But I'm coming to realize that all we really need is a will to survive and the means too. Friends for one give us the will to survive, parents often times push us with their plans for our lifes, ambition, and also normally provide the needs to live. But I want to focus on the frend thing, because it dawned on me today as i was eating a burrito, a chipotle burrito for all those Cali people best burrito in the world, and sitting and talking for probably three hours that our life isn't really made for being alone. Inside everyone is a person who loves people the company, the comfort, and the caring. I don't really remember any signifigant part of my life without my friends. Friends are those people that help us grow and move along in this thing called life and most of all they give us the will to live. If it wasn't for people investing in our lives where would we be. I know for me and a couple other people I know that if it wasn't for friends we would have killed ourselves along time ago. So don't give up on your friends, spend time with them and learn from them. Live life together. I am trying to manage three or four different groups of people spending time etc. and yah it takes a lot of effort but it is so rewarding, you have no idea. Friends will fill you with a joy and vibrance that nothing else can do. Live life to it's fullest but most importantly with friends.

Weeds

It is amazing, and sometimes I hate it, that my mind can take the simplest things and relate them to the most deep philisophical truth that I could possibly think of. Today I took the analogy of a garden way too far. In Real Life today we talked about the fact that relationships are like gardens and that they need to maintained. But I saw the analogy and did not think of relationships I thought of what a wreck our garden was in and the many weeds in the yard. Why? I have no idea. My mind wanders. So anyway I ended up spending probably five hours outside doing one thing, pulling weeds and mowing. And my mind wandered again to how sin is like a weed. And I said sin is like a weed because it takes a lot of time to get rid of and if you don't take time every day to take care of the yard of your life it begins to sneak back in. But I realized that we don't sin because it is an unmanagable problem. It's the fact that oh wait we're lazy and bored and very boring people and we don't look at our lives on a daily level and say this needs to be plucked out. We need to think more than we are doing. One other thing that I realized today was that without my computer I can get so much more done than with it. The culture we live in doesn't lend itself to really doing something with our lives. Why? who knows but I like at the end of the day saying wow that looks good and I did something. So my word of advice is do something with your day without your computer so that you can look whatever it is and say, I did something with my hands today that was constructive.