When The Right Lane Goes 85

I'm sitting here in the stillness of my room with only God and I. I've always enjoyed this type of atmosphere the night the way how even a little light can show forever in total darkness. All I can think about is how impatient I am to get out and start at Calpoly and about how all of my friend are leaving me. But as my little adventure down to CO Springs today taught me we can rush and hurry all we want but ulltimately with the way things work we will arrive at the destination about the same time as the car that followed the speed limit. The thing about CO highways is that normally they run about 10 mph above what the posted speed limit is and this is the right lane. So it is keep up or be the target of extreme road rage. But I was thinking, because that is a really pretty drive down there, that we don't really take the time to just sit and be still. We don't take time to slow down. We are always in a rush but the thing is we ultimately don't know what to do with the down time of our lives. So the struggle is how to just slow down be still and enjoy it. And perhaps with the understanding of how crazy of a summer this has been, I'm thinking I know what God wants me to do with this down time. He want me to not be occupied so much with friends, not help along as much any more change in the church, no longer listen to other people as much. He want's me to listen to him and only him. I need to see what lies in this heart after the death of Nate after the change of three small group leaders, the change of a youth pastor and college leader. I need to find out what has changed within me. So I am gonna take a break for a while put my thoughts and feelings together. Figure out where my desire and passion has gone. So if I don't talk to you in a while, I'm sorry, but I need to devot some time to myself. I hope you understand. I need to be alone. I feel that is what God is calling me too as my friends begin to leave. I love all of you so much you have no idea.
JG