Awaiting

"awaiting eagerly the revalation of our Lord Jesus Christ"
-1 cor 1:7b

I think in a lot of ways things have shifted. That is probably an understatement. Actually I know that is an understatement but it is one of those things that if I were to realize the full extent of how many things actually shifted, I doubt I could handle it all. That is in part why I can't see and have no divine direction for this season. But I think the internal perspective I am gaining is one that I wouldn't trade for anything else. I'm begining to think this perspective I am gaining is the treasure of darkness God promised to me during this season.

It is terribly facinating what my worship is looking like more and more when I come to God needing him so much more than I ever have in a season where I shouldn't be needing him more but I can't help but lean, actually needing him. Tonight I found myself unable to contain my tears because of the whole fact that God desires so desperatley for us to be unified. I see myself as I find myself each day desperatley needing Him, so desperatley. The thing is I can't help cry knowing that God is so good to the undeserving, to me.

I think I feel for the first time in my life like I have nothing to offer anybody except the very good news. Which is as it should be. I found myself tonight asking so many questions about me awaiting the fruition of this internal perspective, what does it all entail? Only the next...will show that.

But although this may be shifted and completley foreign, all of it, I am found in my Savior's arms and that is where I love to be.

I can't help notice though that in a sense with as little perspective as I do have the campus seems to be in an almost anticipation an awaiting to be more accurate, and I can't put my finger on it exacltey but look at your surroundings and tell me you don't see something stirring. This campus is awaiting the secrets and treasures of darkness. I think it is this perspective of simplicity, foundationality, and humbleness that leads to unity.

The most interesting thing is that the picture of Jesus sweating blood as He prayed for us, that image is burned into my mind and the thing is...it is one of the most powerful images I have had in a while. His very blood spilt that we might have a chance to be unified that is so amazing. That was a powerful prayer prayed in Gethsemini .