4am thoughts

Sometimes it feels pointless to go to bed. That is after you have stayed up most of the night. Here I am almost 4 am...still up.

I haven't really stopped and had a sabbath this week things have been rather jammed full of things to do etc.

Landon stopped by tonight for a little bit. I miss his company. He said sarcastically" it's fun growing up." We were trying to find a time to meet this week. Its a shame it probably won't happen with two jam packed schedules.

Friendship, dating, ministry, life its all so very hard. It really is, It's very inconvenient. Its so easy to get lost in your own little world and not care about the people that are around you on a day to day basis. It's a shame but its so easy too.

I'm glad God somehow in this America I live in God has somehow got a hold of my heart and is making it break.

I drove by a homeless person today. I could have helped him out taken him out for lunch you know. I chose not too. I was too busy thinking 1. have to get gas 2.have to put rubber feet on the couch legs so that it doesn't slide anymore on the hardwood floors 3. I need to go to the library 4. I need to take a nap only got 4 hours last night 5. Need to write that paper 6. Need to read. 7.8.9.etc.

Perhaps its the lack of sleep etc. but I don't need any of that all I need is Jesus. He is the only one I need. None of this matters if He's not in it, you know.

And that is perhaps the beauty, the only beauty I can come to tonight is that as christians when God is not in it things arn't right. It's like when someone isn't around...you know things arn't right because you love that person so dearly and want to include every moment with them.

Who are we to deny God His full and utter display of Glory through our lives by the way we live and act:we get too busy to let God into our lives and come to realizations like this where its been too long since we simply all said "God invade my world, invade my life"

I understand perhaps a little bit better through this busy week why America is the way it is.

So I guess this little stretch from 3:40-4am will have to do for my sabbath til things slow down hopefully by Thursday. I look forward to my morning quiet time...God knows I will need it. I also need bare in mind God is with me all day through...

In about 2 hours I will get up. The irony of resting now when I am still awake making sure not to rest to long.oh life!

JG