8 months

I imagine I hardly grasp what God has done in my heart over this time. 2/3 of a year has passed since Elise and I have been back in Colorado. I am now on my third job and to be honest there's been a lot of hard lessons along the way . I believe however maturity has been developed within it...and God has been glorified because of it and I am deeply thankful due to that single fact.

Lately and in part with our past few jobs here in Colorado Elise and I have been learning how to wrestle and not get pinned down by the realities of the working world and trying to grab onto the reigns of married life and the realities of day to day . I have come to the conclusion that no one can really prepare you for this and the intensity and amount of effort you must put into such a thing and the realities of I imagine seeing your selfishness and humanity due to it are something you can't prepare for. Architecture school helped because current life is a downplay from that but it will ramp up again soon! And many a sleepless selfless night will have not prepared me for that

But the reason for this blog isn't to say that, although it does run parallel to that thought; it is simple to say and sort through the fact that there's something happening in my heart in this time that is immensely new that needs to be sorted through and written down.

Perhaps its easiest to say it this way, the weight of the world has a way of showing Christ as the antithesis to what the world is and the realities of the world hinder Christ coming into it and you really have to learn how to make inroads for Christ in the world and choose whom you will serve or you will simply get bowled over by it.

Seeing God for who He is is so much clearer in a world unsheltered by family support or places in society where we have deemed by age to be places of rest and shelter from the outside world simply put, it changes your perspective. I don't think many are comfortable with this but it is a truer picture of God.

Personally it has been shaping desires for strange things and has been giving me strength to work towards long held ambitions that lie deep within my heart knowing that those are the ones that really matter.

But by choosing that it means life isn't gonna look like what I thought it would look like, and due to that my heart is both fickle and redeemed and is immensely torn in times like these.

Needless to say its been an unpredictable 8 months but it has been good. I have plans but we'll see if they pan out.

How much can one man do?
To change the world
The answer is not that you are to become that man
But their is one man who already did
And the changing goes like nothing before it has
imperceptible until you know its way
infinite complexity undoing you
to find what was deeper within
the deeper you
To show what was already done
by a father who loved you

JG