With time we learn though how simple our blind faith was at such a time and we begin to ask those questions that help us understand things in a truer sense.
like the question I asked myself this evening..."why is God having to have such oversight that I see so tangibly in and around me? "
All I could come to is we are awful wretched people and we seem to fail at everything we so tangibly want to influence.
I think with age we grow a bleaker picture of the world we live.
I was at Peets this morning with a friend and we met this Bangladeshi man. People like him always seem to give an un-American view of the world that I find very refreshing and humbling. We talked to him for a while and all I could think was his view is so much truer than the numbness that is in most our minds as Americans.
Such conversations normally give me a dose of reality and because of that I become a little distraught for a day or two. So naturally tonight it came to 9pm and I grabbed my cookies and cream ice cream from the fridge took a spoon and started eating it straight from the tub saddened by the world I lived in and God came to redeem. I was texting my friend telling him what was up tonight and he told me to rejoice that Jesus has died and risen and covered all that. Yet my heart is still grieved by our world and how much it still needs Jesus and my inability and ineffectiveness in seeing that carried out well.
But what frustrates me more is that God is not like me. When I sit down and read the scriptures His ways are not my ways. He cares more about my character and discipline as a christian than my effectiveness. I absolutely hate that. Because when I sit down and determine to do something that is good it needs to be accompanied by pure motives and a proper placement of things in order in my life. It's not about my actions or my religion it is about my relationship with God the Father and how I heed His whispers. That is not easy.
To His Glory alone,
JG
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