Empty Places

I got the oppurtunity to sit and talk with my dad, I don't think we have done that for a long while. It was good, and it was just what I needed. I love my dad. When you get around to reading this I want to say thanks, dad. Thankyou for all you have done and all you will continue to do for God also as well for me. You're awesome!

I don't know any way of naturally following that so I will awkardly start...God is good, He is so good. As I talked on earlier He is infinite, so infinite. I think that deserves another blog or two. However, instead of focusing on God's character as I did last night I want to focus on what God can do especially to dry and parched lands aka the empty places of the world. While my dad and I were chatting he said one thing that will probably stick more than anything else. "Do everything with excellence. God did not create us for failure, never settle for it." I think the thing that has been overwhelming me being back the most is the amount of work that needs to be done here to make this place to the standards I have seen met in the blooming and thriving garden that is SLO. I guess I am guilty though of putting God outside His character, aren't I? God can do anything for this place, and He is willing to, we need not push Him into accordance to His character. We simply must believe. I have been guilty of not believeing, letting personal matters get in the way. I know God is getting rid of those personal matters in my life so that revival may spring up not only in SLO but also here.

When one of the guys in SLO has a vision it was not a revival just in SLO it was everywhere in America...it started in SLO but did not stop in SLO. The thing is revivals often phizzle out, I desire one that won't. I know it is very contrary to the character of the human race to not forget...but what if God used us as christians to bring glory to his name as the jews were supposed to log ago? That we might not forget what God has done for us but desiring more and more each day because God is infinte.Always looking forward never looking back...That would be a site!!! I don't know the means necessarily but perhaps that is only because there is not means there is a mean and that is the Holy Spirit. We need nothing more than that! That is the gift that was able to be given, something worthy enough to have the Son of God killed!

As I was reading Isaiah, when God showed me things, I wonder why I have been able to see, He showed me that the key is waiting." The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired His understanding is inscrutable. He gives stregth to the weary, and him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not grow tired, they will walk and not become weary.(Isaiah 40: 28-31)
we have a promise that if we wait on God for His perfect timeing we will be unstoppable for our Lord. As it says in 1st thessalonians "rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances but examine everything carefully, hold fast to that which is good." We are to not quench the spirit( don't let our timeing get in the way) We are to be examing everything before rushing into things we must be a patient people!

I think that is probably enough for tonight...I need to be able to wake up tommorow for church I hope you can forgive me for wanting a decent night's sleep being able to be awake for my flight after that. I am so excited to go back to SLO it is amazing to know that everywhere I go the spirit has gone before me and prepared the way. That is amazing. I eagerly look forward to what this quarter will hold. All I know for certain is that God amidst so much apparent chaos is divinely orderly and has it all under control. God is good, He is so good!

JG

What If?

Tuesday night the pastor of TNL dave Terpstra begged the question what if? What if we believed God to be who He says He is? The one who said amidst the brightest light in his time" I am the light of the world." A God who says He is so much more than anything we could possibly see or grasp in this life. A God so infinite in every characteristic. A God so amazing and so wonderful!

The bible speaks of this God who has done miracles, who has had infinite grace, infinite wisdom, infinite love, infinite patience, infinite understanding, infinitely giving all of Himself for an undeserving people. I have come more and more to the conclusion reading through the old testament that God is who He says He is and He is not one of be put in the box of our own desires, making Him out to be what we want Him to be. The thing I don't think a lot of people get is that although God is a God of love He is a God of wrath as well .They pick those characteristics they like and focus soley on those. Get a bigger picture than that!

Along other lines I don't think people believe they are bad because they don't have a perception of God or the perception of what I see God to be, one of infitude. God is so big! The thing that Job found out is that God owes us nothing yet He chooses to be willing to bestow upon us the fullness of blessing if we allow Him too. Allowing means recognizing Jesus' death not because God simply said I screwed up but rather He chose to be a God so characteristic of love that it didn't matter that mankind was undeserving He would give up his only son for us. That is what is amazing!

I often times don't like to write myself as having gained the upper hand on this issue because by no means do I think I have it down . I believe that as infinite as God is so is our surrender to Him, it can reach a point of "whole surrender" but beyond that there is always more...there always will be simply more. The thing is, Christians, you need to believe God to be more than what you think Him to be. He is a God who has been characterized by revivals, miracles, and is proclaimed in Beauty itself. He is Big! Get that through your minds and understand that He wants and is willing to be characterized by what he has done in the past if you would only let him.

As to how that is different for each one of us and this is why I believe many pastors seem to not be helpful to many people they simply want the easy way out, a quick fix. However there is no quick fix in the Christian walk it is a rough walk and when it becomes easy when there is no more struggle you may have just stopped climbing up the mountain of the deeper life. I hate to say this, it needs to be said, you need to understand that God has everything cleverly orchestrated and it is not always going to go according to your guys' plan. Infact from this point out things are going to start to fall apart because you have not left room for the spirit to plan things fully you have let yourselves get in the way. The spirit is eternal the flesh temporal. I pray each day Christians everywhere would rise above your day to day life and see what the spirit has for those who are fully surrendered. I believe He will answer that prayer in some form whether it be my generation or another one.

Please wake up and take all the blessings God has for you! Beg the question what if God is who He says He is?

JG

Writing Tough Letters

I was convicted tonight big time on how I haven't forgiven people. I was thinking as I was listening to this message tonight I have forgiveness down. However, the truth is I still harbor resentment in my heart toward some people no matter how pacifist I am. One man in particular one of my friends from school. Why do I harbor anger against him? He was taring me apart by telling me what I wasn't doing. He was talking bad about christianity. But however right I might be in thinking I need to defend my God...my God does not need to be defended. I was wrong for thinking that I was somehow someone that could do "the" God of infitude justice.

The other my parents, I somehow harbored anger that they want me to become what they are. I've realized a lot about where my passions lie. I don't want to get married and have kids. I don't want to stay in America. I want to be serving my lord where he will use me best that is where my heart lies. That is in missions. I have this weird calling to go to Asia. I want that above all else. I finally realized why I said I was jealous of my friend above. I wish that I could do what he was doing by helping people but I am honoring my parents by being at school and getting this degree. That is what I am supposed to be doing I am not missing out on that because I know that lies in my future because I have this desire inside of me. I must honor my parents and for not doing that last quarter I must make amends by writing a simple apology letter. The thing is though my lord wants me to honor my parents that is what it boils down to lately. I will do that this next quarter. God will honor me. I remeber his promises. They are good ones. God is so good!!!

JG

I Need More

Since I have been back one thing has been apparent about this place. Although this place used to be so spiritually alive to me, it is now so dead. The resoning behind that is I have experienced so much more. I've been thinking also a lot about churches. I got the chance to talk with my mentor last night and he pointed out that the role of a church is to challenge you to the next level. How many christians just settle for half way up the peak and stay there? Far too many I believe. That is the case in most of America the suburbs are not the most spirit filled places. I believe they could be but they are not. And thinking and deciding upon whether to stay here over the summer a few things cross my mind. The thing is though again I love my parents and wish to spend time with them but I am glad that I can recognize that because this place is so dead spiritually that God either wants this place to be alive once again over this summer or he wants me to honor my parents by working which will somehow fit into this master plan of God's. I have need for so much more then mediocrity in this life. God knows this and has answered that desire and I am amazed but I am spoiled with God's blessing and want more.I have no idea what the next months beyond the three hold. One thing I am sure of though is that God will bring me through and He alone will be my strength and He alone will satisfy me. I need more and God being a god of infitude will give it if I stay in HIs will.

JG

Wow!!!

Look at the nations and watch- and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. -Habbakuk 1:5

Future?

I have been thinking a lot lately about my future over the past couple days or so and I have come to a couple interesting things that I didn't really realize about myself. I am going to college to please my parents and honor them. My first priority should be my parents and appeasing them. They are great people and even if they weren't still Christ devoted thirty years of his thrity three to serve His parents. This is one thing that we often forget. It is often the model of serving that ministers to people more than simply ministry.

I can honestly say that this quarter much of my priorites were not in the right place. I placed God much above serving people especially my parents and it showed in my grades. I tried as best I could but when my priorities lied in the wrong place it was only a showcase that something on the inside was a little out of whack. Last night taught me alot about myself and how much work there needs to be done within me. God is faithful to complete the good work he has started in me.

And as each quarter showcases there needs to be a new balance struck. This one will play off honoring my parents. I am thinking in my mind well you don't need to do anything God will guide you but as my mom told me a long time ago we must take some initative in things. God will honor you if you are honoring him but the place God wants me to be at I have not reached that point yet. I doubt how deep my faith is and act on the knowledge that I am not better than any human being on the earth. With that knowledge I am going to take initative trusting God to honor my time with him and teach me in the alone places and by maybe not attending biblestudy this quarter. I will lay aside my pride by getting a tutor as my parents asked. And I will stop playing religious christian and become one based on realationship crucifying those realationships that God is not going to do anything with this quarter. I serve a God who walked as one of us humans and knows exactley what I am going through. He works despite me and the picture I see I am there to help but something about this quarter is going to be quite different and I rest as I said last night in the knowledge that he will carry me through it all okay.
JG

Cleverly Orchestrated

I found myself in pure unceasing worship today...this feeling however does not seem to be going away but getting stronger. I am finding myself in an unceasing curve of more intense praise and yet apart from that there is one aspect that is still hampering this praise from reaching the point where it should be...that is fear. Fear of letting go of all the security I have and the fear I have to leave these roots I have planted some of them very deep.

However I come to realize that I am foolish to deny all that God has for me because of the sheer cleverly orchestratedness of it all. I can not deny all He has done for me and how he continues to use me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. How could I not give my all...how could I? What God is going to do, it is breathtaking, a generation restored and returning to their rightful Master King.

I learned another thing today that I failed calc...which bothers me greatly but I hate the fact that people are reopening the wound when I was not okay with it.I hated that place where I was unsure of God controling everything perfectly. Could I slipp so easily back into that? It goes to show once again that it is not me that has peace but rather Christ within me and it showcases how far I am truly from Christ. I hate the fact that I can be so easily upset when my parents are not happy with me...I understand what some people say now that when a parent doesn't show love in this case support or seems dissapointed with their kids it hurts more than anything else. I believe they are showing love in what they are doing I honestly do and who am I to judge their generation...I am not their elder. I must learn to trust if I am to overcome. I have a rough quarter ahead of me...but I know that which indwells me will carry me through alright and I still worship my God unceasingly cause he predestined me before the foundations of time itself to do the wonderful things my life holds.

I rest in that fact alone...a little distressed...yet comforted in Jesuah's arms.

JG

Goodbye Myspace

I deleted my myspace account and all future blogs and other things will be posted on this page from now on... for those who did not catch my last blog this is it below

I have been in contemplation lately on several issues but one main one has seemed to be at the forefront of my mind...surrender( complete and utter). As I have been reading the old testament I amazed to find that there is no man that has fully surrender everything to God. I believe it as paul points out that being in the flesh we are unable to fully surrender everything to Christ and we therefore do things that are sinful and cause us to be bound although our spirit is free when we accept Christ. The thing I don't think we as christians realize myself included is that the Holy Spirit is living inside of each of us and the power that comes along with that we should be able to tap into that but we don't ...sin is still in our lives and we are not fully surrendered.

We are too casual with sin in our day and age. You as a christian body myself included has let sin remain and let Satan keep this spirit that belongs to God in bondage. I would say that is no better than being without christ in the first place. I would encourage you to begin to talk back to the devil...this world is a battleground we should not sit idly we should realize we are in lion country and act accordingly.

I fear my thoughts in the past have been far too disorganized. I am ashamed to look back on blogs in hindsight and realize that my presentation of the gospel has been in some way inadequate because of not fully surrendering to Christ. Praise God that as Job found out that His plans cannot be ruined by mine nor your feeble attempts to control them.

On another note I will note that the plan God has laid out does not look at all like the plans we ourselves layout. Get out of the way of God's plans and I ask you to finally realize how free you are...no longer a slave to what you were. There is power in what you have my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ it is time you start using it...If you don't know how to do that start by obeying and reading God's word...The Holy Spirit will guide you from there.



Perhaps in more clarity this time round,
JG

Above

I always had a dream to go beyond the road
to climb the distant hill and find a field

a place where I could pen a phrase
so beautiful so clear

But now when I find myself above all else
Where the earth meets the sky
When I find myself in a field of green
With nothing but you
these things fall apart

When afraid to search within myself
I find the only good is you

With tough questions in my head
I am forced to question you

I am so lost..yet found
in beauty that does surround

Above what I do not see
such beauty...your mystery

Final Layouts and Stuff

This is the Final...it doesn't compare to some of the earlier stuff of the quarter I think but I think the fact that I am realizing that the last guy in the class still graduates as doctor that I don't need to be a perfectionist is a nice realization. It's good to spend time on more important things.
JG

The Work Lately

So I've been really busy...and that's it but I thought I would showcase my work here hopefully you enjoy...ooh also i am excited to go back to CO...






JG

Beauty Unspeakable

Last weekend I got the chance to go up highway 1 and see what I call beauty unspeakable. I was simply at a loss for words when I stared at the beauty that one could not accuratley capture with film. It was simply breathtaking. But I was thinking of how the ocean waves seemed to beat away at the cliffs which used to be the magnificant mountains against the coast. It's cool how something like that is an analogy for how God working in our hearts can continue to wear away at them and make something so beautiful. I saw that last weekend almost on the verge of tears it was amazing. Anyways I need to get back to busy life I'll try and update soon. Til then...
JG

Contrast of Night and Bright

Final Layout( I think)