Cleverly Orchestrated

I found myself in pure unceasing worship today...this feeling however does not seem to be going away but getting stronger. I am finding myself in an unceasing curve of more intense praise and yet apart from that there is one aspect that is still hampering this praise from reaching the point where it should be...that is fear. Fear of letting go of all the security I have and the fear I have to leave these roots I have planted some of them very deep.

However I come to realize that I am foolish to deny all that God has for me because of the sheer cleverly orchestratedness of it all. I can not deny all He has done for me and how he continues to use me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. How could I not give my all...how could I? What God is going to do, it is breathtaking, a generation restored and returning to their rightful Master King.

I learned another thing today that I failed calc...which bothers me greatly but I hate the fact that people are reopening the wound when I was not okay with it.I hated that place where I was unsure of God controling everything perfectly. Could I slipp so easily back into that? It goes to show once again that it is not me that has peace but rather Christ within me and it showcases how far I am truly from Christ. I hate the fact that I can be so easily upset when my parents are not happy with me...I understand what some people say now that when a parent doesn't show love in this case support or seems dissapointed with their kids it hurts more than anything else. I believe they are showing love in what they are doing I honestly do and who am I to judge their generation...I am not their elder. I must learn to trust if I am to overcome. I have a rough quarter ahead of me...but I know that which indwells me will carry me through alright and I still worship my God unceasingly cause he predestined me before the foundations of time itself to do the wonderful things my life holds.

I rest in that fact alone...a little distressed...yet comforted in Jesuah's arms.

JG