When I'm waiting in Your presence every fear
Is put to rest
You belong to me and I belong to You
Nothing will ever come my way
That You won't see me through
I delight in the beauty of Your holiness
Because I won't find a love like Yours
In all the earth
In the quiet of Your chambers the love
I feel is made complete
In the mercy You have granted
I will rest for all eternity
You belong to me and I belong to You
Nothing will ever come my way
That You won't see me through
I delight in the beauty of Your holiness
Because I won't find a love like Yours
In all the earth
(Because I won't find a face like Yours
In all the earth)
-Jason Morant
There are many things God has been teaching me this summer, a lot of them simple truths I have forgotten or not known to begin with. Tonight and over the past couple days God has drastically been showing who I am making me disgusted at who I am, at times sick to my stomach because of who I am. However he has been showing what character is found in the spirit inside of me.
Wednesday I got the chance to delight in the spirit ,who God is, focusing on His attribute of infitude" One God, one Majesty. There is no God but Thee. Unbounded, unextended unity" It was pure delight to focus on God, who He is was and will be forever and for the first time not focusing on what He has done for me but on the character of the Divine. That is the way it should be and was meant to be. Worshiping God because God is God.
But the next morning and all throughout the day at work the day after I came under incredible attack, I began to get frustrated with myself and the very character that was inside of me, my flesh sidetracking me from the pure delight I had experienced the night before. Not being able to delight as God does in so many things in what is being done now in the present, my mind refused to focus on the present and jumped to the future. This turned me into a thought life of sin.
I was forgetting, always forgetting, that God delighted in me, and didn't care about the future as much as He cared about the present, simply being with me, sitting in the car besides me, going on the journey with me, always beside me.
I was forgetting the very words God spoke through a wonderful blessing in the begining of this summer "embrace this darkness and desert time fully."
I feel that has happened a lot I have forgotten so many vital things, in college I forgot persistence which is what I need so desperately in this season God has placed me in. I learned and grew deeper in all facets of the christian walk but forgot the dilegence of reading the word every day before I went to bed, praying at my bedside before I went to bed, and having my devotional in the morning. I forgot the things I did in my childhood and as a new christian and didn't realize what really was the source of all the growth as a child, and why I wasn't growing as I once did. The source were these things.
I felt myself crying these words...
"I have forgotten the ways of old
forsaken a land once owned
I have begun embracing the cold
forgotten warmer tones"
I feel i have forgotten so much and lost the simplicity I had in my childhood. And when I found myself in such a pit of despair forgetting much like, infact, probably just like the israelites I found myself an emotional wreck thurday night. I got on my knees and prayed for deliverance from these things. I forgot though. I forgot the things I was supposed to remember.
I was talking to one of my future roomates about it on AIM the whole spiritual warfare that evening and he pointed me to prayer. I am amazed by that mans humility and deep understanding and placement of simplicity above everything in the christian walk. He does not dilly dally with second hand things he always points me and others to the source. Bless him incredibly God.
The one thing I forgot and why sin did overcome me that night was I forgot the other facets. Prayer is only one of a few things we need to make sure are in our lives. We need prayer, we need the Word, we need fellowship, we need common sense. Notice how only one of those things is capatilized. The Word is of highest althority always we should never forget that.
Today, Friday, I found myself awakened in the middle of the night to the ramications of the spiritual warfare in the physical plane. The storm was blowing, and I could hear the battle raging. I finally got back to sleep after my fears were comforted by the King.
As normal I awoke for work and saw the sunrise , this morning though I found the words I had read wednesday night coming to mind.
" God did what He did joyfully. He made the heaven and the earth joyfully. That's why the flowers look up and smile, and the birds sing and the sun shines, and the sky is blue and rivers trickle down to the sea." " The infinite God is enjoying himself. Somebody is having a good time in heaven and earth and sea and sky. SOMEBODY IS PAINTING THE SKY. Somebody is making trees grow where only gashes were a year ago. Somebody is causing the ice to melt out of the river and fish to swim and the birds to sing and lay their blue eggs and build their nests and hatch their young. Somebody's running the show."
I found as I stared at this sunrise at the complete cloud filled sky. And the sun clearer than any other day this summer I found myself singing in my heart these words.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
-Jason Morant
As I found myself tonight down in Colorado Springs I found myself healed with declaring once again the very character of God. Nothing will ever come my way that You won't see me through Lord. I need not fear or be frustrated. The word declares this " The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. " -psalm 33:11 and because of this we sing " In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in You"-psalm 33:21-2
Lord I delight once again in the beauty of who You are! May it never leave me.
JG
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