The waters that flow

These words that flow from sinful hands
and are read by heaven's purest lamb
humbly give'n, prayerful hands sifting sands

That He would mold and shape a world
to change the heart of one unchangable

from beneath the glorious throne
The waters of healing that flow
the waters that fully atone

He reigns over all, soveriegn God
When troubles surround and rainclouds form
he reign's over all, all knowing God

That He would mold and shape a world
to change the dynamic of the waters that flow


I am constantly amazed by who God is, how He continues to be so incredibly flawless in every aspect and how His qualities continue to be shown more and more infinite! I am sitting down tonight trying to figure out what exactley God is doing within me, because it is so wonderful and so foreign yet to my flesh so disturbing and so depressing that I need to just stay up and prayerfully consider this warfare of the spirit! The change He is initializing because of His grace, I am simple astounded that in my wickedness He is washing me.

Last night for the first time I sat down and really read psalm 119 and in summation I would say that it is an account of David asking for him to be washed completely. But as God has been doing as of lately he is soveriegn and is in continuance of the theme that through scripture we find our only true strength, in order to plead a request unto God for healing of this magnitude we must first seek out God in His word. Not that anything we do even compares to what He does and has done, but we must show God as David did in psalm 119 that we are worthy of the blessings he is going to bestow upon us.

And to be honest this lesson on scripture is driving me into perplexity more each day because God does everything and we are not worthy but we are made worthy through Christ and with Christ comes the loving response to give everything unto him. And this is a touchy issue because it plays on my whole apathetic side where I don't believe there is a responsibility but with my passionate side I am often times calling down fire with my prayers and asking unsafe requests. And as always we have a huge responsibility but we must balance the fact that through Him "we" do all things that truley do matter and I am so touchy on that too becuase I am very careful that I do not appear prideful but maintain humbleness in everything. At the same time though all this balancing is out of alignment because God shifted one of my nobs with this change that has happened and I have to figure out what exactley has changed and it causes me to stay up late"soul searching" I am no longer apathetic, I am no longer passionate, I am Christ being formed! My identity is in scripture and that is the only way I can truly get the proper mix of things, that is what I must meditate on for a couple days!

(day two meditating on this)

Today was rough, the spiritual warfare has been the worst I have experienced, it has left me depressed very reclusive and pensive as I used to be in my first years of accepting Christ, it is a scary place to be but I know it is exactley where Christ is leading me He is changing me with the power of His love, healing my past and the scars that I forgot that i had. One of my friends asked me a really tough question last night asking me if I truley knew who I was? I responded with "I am sin and God is the only righteousness i pocess". Christ is constantly being formed in me but when it boils down to it though I don't know who I am, I am insecure, I am broken, needing real friendship, being not independent. Not at all what Christ is was and will continue to be. God is a God of unchanging character and I am not supposed to be swerving I am supposed to be more and more steadfast as I continue in pursuing Christ but as most christians find they are never on the straight and the narrow but get on one side of an extreme not like Jesus. We must look toward the scriptures to become Christlike yet balancing our duty in worship.

JG