oh...Pride

This morning I found myself at Motana De Oro, a state park on the central coast of California. It was misting and quite chilly but Elise and I were determined to finally take a day for ourselves and do something fun. Little did we know that God as normal would speak through the rediculous. This is the perspective of a snail...

"Little did I know that I could find myself so lost in the middle of the woods so far away from a source of water.There is nothing but dry dirt surrounding. The storm the night before had blown me here and I find myself disoriented not knowing where I can find myself the essential necessities to live, I am so lost.

It's been hours, I am crippled by the distance, I must return I am determined. I hear the ground rumbling perhaps something is coming to my rescue to return me back to the water. I think it sees me...

I hope it sees me...

The big creature is carrying me in his hands, I am scared that perhaps it may not have my destination in mind. I am willing though, rather than face death to let anything happen to reach the water.

I am still in the strange creature's hands perhaps we will reach the destination soon. Rains pour down. I can hear the sound, on the barren ground. I can hear the waves so close yet so far away...

It seems he is carrying me toward the ocean but why haven't we reached it yet?...

...bloop."



I think all of us can take a lesson from the snail's perspective. The storms of life come and we get so blown off course from where we should be. I would say of these three lessons that I am writing about pride, ministry, and friendship this one has been the hardest. To actually let people teach me and minister to me is a hard thing. To finally let go of my pride and let someone else carry things for a change. Little did I know that by not accepting this I was like the snail so far away from home.



To most of my close friends I have told them that God was calling me to the horizontle plane during this season, an honest first. God was calling me to devote to friendships and people in an intense focus. Little did I know it would entail actual friendship not some arbitrary concept. God answered that prayer by allowing me to realize who my true friends are and that I need to be poured into too. I can't always be an unending source of water for people when my spring has sprung a leak and needs to be shut down.I remember praying a while back that I can't continue pouring out in the same way I have been. I was like the snail so far away from water that I was in a sense slowly dying, hardly functioning because I had no water for myself or in my eyes worse yet, for others.

I was letting pride get in the way. I am a control freak and want everything to be done my way. Who are we to think that we are any better than anybody else enough to dictate things? We all own the same wretched heart redeemed by grace. Like I said in my blog yesterday it has been a lesson in letting go in order that I might grow leaning on Christ alone and his sufficiency in my life, his greater grander plan. It is better yet that way. I am holding together only by his grace and providence in my life.

As for letting go I spent a whole day in a sense doing nothing with Elise.



..It has been one of the best days of my life.

God doesn't call us to a life of sole ministry we get burnt out that way. He calls us to in part enjoy what he has given us. To take delight in his providence and good grace. He is more than worthy because of this fact alone.

JG