Fusion (old to new)

In the seventh month, on the twenty-first day of the month, the word of the LORD came by the hand of Haggai the prophet, 2 Speak now to Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to all the remnant of the people, and say, 3 Who is left among you who saw this house in its former glory? How do you see it now? Is it not as nothing in your eyes? 4 Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, declares the LORD. Be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the LORD. Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, 5 according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not. 6 For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. 7 And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts. 8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. 9 The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts.
-Haggai 2:1-9

I have been making my way through the minor prophets since shortly before summer began. They are absolutely incredible books. I don't know why we are so quick to look to the new testament. I have found There is a wealth of wisdom to take from them.

I have been reading them as if they were truth/prophecies written to me and about the church in my age the one here in America.

They fit really well it's like God is speaking through scripture to me or something.

I have been writing one passage in my journal from each one and was hoping to use it to show God's heart for his "temple"( ie people or church) through them but I think this one as do many of the the other passages does just fine by itself.

I have long been troubled with God's work in His church knowing what it should be yet not understanding why it has taken so few great leaps on a whole towards what I see scripture calling it to be. This has bothered me for many years. I am encouraged though to know that I am to bear in patience and know He is sovereign still in regards to it that His scriptures and fully fulfilling words say He will make his temple greater still it may take time but He is working and beautiful. That is a great hope to dwell on.

To Love alone,
JG

Intuition

If you haven't noticed I haven't been blogging much as of late.

In fact, I really haven't been blogging, not really anyways.

So you ask

Q:what have I been doing?

and I ask you

Q:Why do we have to be doing?

but if you desire an answer it goes something like this:

A:I've been taking the time to really if need be let God redefine everything about who I am... a bit of self discovery...

...and in so doing I have honestly come to a frustation about everything I do etc. There is no end to how I have found myself as of late in review over the course of my life so far, so far off from God's intent for so many situations etc. The fact He has redeemed it all amazes me so and how in perfect faithfullness makes the deformed puzzle pieces fit together moves my heart to an honest reverence and praise.

A lot of who I am, the way I operate etc is in a state of disgust right now. There is something drastically that needs to happen within my spirit, heart and intuition that I have only thus begun on . The disgust and end of my mind's ability to process any more information/ defense for christiandom sermons or knowledge etc. has led me to the simple fact without love all of this is nothing.

I know not one christian,myself included who when I compare them to the standards that they are supposed to exemplify in the bible regarding love etc. do.

I would give everything I possess away to experience that kind of love that I am supposed to have outlined in the scriptures anything to have a communion with the father that is unshaken.

I remember this morning just being distraught in starbucks over what I was reading all of who I am in gross violation of God's will. Yet a perfect beautiful God who is using it all to His great and awesome Glory. Making all things new.Shouldn't I be so lost in love with God?I see perfect faithfulness and the great difference between God and man and the necessity for a bridge. I desire that bridge I see the bridge in scripture but can't see it lived out for some reason. I don't know how to do it and I don't think anyone can teach me except God himself.

That's what I want to hear a sermon on is How to let The Spirit reign and teach in our lives. I want an older christian to actually be so spirit driven that they can teach others. I want an older christian to be so driven by his intuition that he knows how to meet people where they are at. I want someone to be led every day to see God do great and glorious things in the lives of others because he is a blessing because he is led to where he is most needed. I want to see God shine through in man as He is supposed to be.

Show me that...

To Love alone,

JG

Manipulation

I believe there is a point in life where a man realizes how he has manipulated situations. It is a deep and troubling time when the weight of God's great and awesome Glory and the weight of man's sin are a heavy burden. He knows deeper than he has ever known anything before how he has let selfish motives and unpure thoughts lead the life he lives.

When faced with the picture of who God is and a captivating deep relationship developing he sees redemption and because of this love desires a far greater response of love of purity in facets of his life that such unselfishness could never reach into before.

This realization of manipulation and a proper view of the Spirit leads him to find nothing pure within himself. There the Spirit finds this man and no longer has to work but finds a place to settle and rest His holy wings. It is in that moment that what was always meant to be comes into fullness. Where all his burdens are laid down.

His new heart leads him to the bridge that is, to converse. And there he finds his beginning and his end where manipulation cannot be. Standing on the bridge letting love simply be.

To Love alone,
JG

Hibernation

Elise had a dream a few weeks ago. In it I disappeared for a while told no one where I was going. Everyone was confused why I would not tell anyone where I was going and why on earth I would disappear for a while.

She told me to take some time and pray about what it means.

I do not believe we should follow dreams we should rather listen to them and pray and act rather on the prayer rather than the dream and try to self fulfill prophecies or the spirit's heeding in that.

So I imagine by now you are like what's your point John. The point is I am stripping my life from minimalist to as close to bare nothing as I can and am hoping to be fully in the season that way.

I deactivated my facebook account today.

I imagine I will be selling my laptop as I no longer need it for the work I am doing here and am looking to purchace a new one come next fall.

I know the necessity of needing to disappear for a time.

Disappearing is by no means easy, in fact in it oftentimes we realize truths we are wholly unprepared to take in but benefit us greatly. But unless the line is fully drawn we miss the lessons fully to be learned in the season .

I believe there is a need for me to be fully here this summer. This is what I must learn fully.

To His Glory alone,

JG

Guess Who?

N.ormal he was and yet extraordianry is he
E.ver continuing for ever and eternity
H.e did what he was called to do faithful each day
E.ver countinuing in great ordinary work faithful each day
M.any he ignored to plant the greatest of seeds
.I.n it he would incubate what was coming to be
A. heart came from this diligence and God's very heart came to be
H.e concieved a nation which gave birth to a king, which birthed a savior, all glory be


To HIs glory alone,
JG

Perpetual Sift

It is my belief that a lot of what blogging is for me is sifting through thoughts and ideas. I always have wondered why I spend so much time here sifting and to what purpose it profits me or others. I believe it is of benefit though.

I've been sifting again more attempting to sift as of late. Failing completely at finding anything in it. But, Luckily for you the reader if I don't find something buried in the sand, it doesn't get published here it remains a draft in bloggers database.

I was reminded at church this morning that droughts and spiritual valleys we enter in certain seasons of our faith are for our benefit and there is great maturity built in us if we seek or sift in them; even though we find ourself in a desert where we don't think the sand will give way to something ever it does in time. I know this well yet forget it often. It always give way to something absolutely breathtaking.

In Sifting I seek and seeking I will eventually find.

My un-prayerfully informed self thought a lot of what this summer was going to be was one big long quiet time between God and I where he would speak in this great stillness and quiet and I would listen soak it up and be built up for what is to come come fall. Perhaps that was my wishful thinking. It hasn't been like that at all. In fact He's said three things since I have been back.

1.When in the fierce battle say my Name, proclaim Jesus.
2.Be Still and pray my word.
3.Keep Sifting

I know these things.

I wanted him to explain all the things he has begun to teach me these past three quarters because they frustrate me and honestly bother me a great deal, I don't know what to do with them. They need an explanation that God himself alone will have to give.

In such a course of hopefully thinking though I deny all He has taught me about who He is I ignore all the He has begun. He cares more about who I am becoming than what I do and He wants me to lean on Him and out of desperation choose a course of action. He wants to develop my heart till it is in tune with the Will of the Father and can make a symphony with my actions that flow from that very heart. That doesn't come from a relationship of constant conversation it come from a relationship which includes a great deal of silence and saying love in more than words.

So here's to the perpetual shift of golden grains of sand this summer that will most likely yield nothing yet yield everything in God's due time!

To His Glory alone,
JG

A Shameless Promotion

So my mom finally got done publishing her inductive bible study through the book of Isaiah that she has been working on for ten or so years. It is now searchable on Amazon.com . You should all check it out and maybe order a copy (wink wink.)

JG

Our Understanding of Scripture

I’ve heard it said that to fully and truly understand a bit of scripture you have to understand or experience what it actually took to pen that piece of it.

I was standing in church this morning trying to worship in song and I couldn’t. Aside from the side I don’t believe the way we do worship is biblical…I couldn’t get this idea of how we understand scripture and who we make God out to be apart from scripture away from my mind.

Such concepts have a way of truly destroying my focus if they need to be focused upon.

I have been drawn into a position of prayer about this issue.

In all my understanding of scripture in researching reading commentaries finding bits and pieces I believe were translated improperly. I am brought to one conclusion: none of us has any idea what the heck to do with the bible or let alone comprehend the fullness of what dwells inside of it. I guess this is what many mean by a reverence for God’s word.

A lot of things frustrate me about what we as Christians do with the word but frustration does nothing so I will not dwell on it, I have done that a majority of my life.

The way I understand God’s word can destroy a true concept of God and how and who I am in response to that if I do not read it properly.

I have always been a big fan of Tozer mainly due to the fact he looks at each word ,understanding the meaning and the history of every single word, that he would teach on. Because of it he had one of the most profound understandings of who God will forever be because he saw the real God in scripture defined by the words scripture uses not the words in scripture with our personal connotation added.

I we cannot understand the words and the meaning behind the words we will never understand the intent and will not even come close to understanding what that incredible Holy-writ Work says .

Remember to cross reference back to Jesus and the rest of scripture!

To His glory alone,
JG

I love Summer+Coldplay's new album is so bomb you have no idea unless you bought it and then you are like yup you are right John

Hey all,

Sorry I haven't posted in some while. Life has been a little distracting( note distracting is used here with a tone of blessedness): new house, new pup, basement design plans, trying to not make my room look like a giant storage closet etc. But I feel since I haven't blogged in a while I probably should. So here is my summer so far in four easy Points( Piper said to do on his website so I am).

1. The summer has been a blessing so far my parents house is on the edge of the middle of nowhere and literally there is nothing here but endless roads to run on, mountains to stare at for hours on end, sweet stillness, and a vast sea of grass trees and brush to adventure into.
2. The pup is distracting to say the least and makes sure I get nothing done. We have a healthy play time everyday where she, because she is a sheep dog, bites my ankles and tries to herd( hurt) me. I try to distract her but little is done with her constant vie for my attention.How can little dogs have so much energy? I wonder if we could solve the energy crisis with the energy found inside them?Who knows?
3. About my room. Well that'll be a work in progress. Let's just say quilts are not my style.
4. About the other 2000 sf of the house. Well that'll be my work for the summer. Good ol basements! About that I have finally settled on a floor plan I am happy with. Providing the client's stamp of approval My dad and I may get to framing come this weekend . Who knows maybe!
   

To His Glory alone,
JG

The Winds Sleeps Today...

The wind sleeps today
In infinite still,It brings the rest long waited for
Bringing dreams like golden rays of light
Paths edged in foil stalks and leaves

Oh this sweetest time of stillness to bring my heart to you

To swim in the Great Poet’s dream
Phrases coined in ages past ,they are for me
Where some grand things lie in wait
Like chests of treasures to be pulled out of the Sea

Perfect love, you make it to be

Oh this sweetest time of stillness to bring my heart to you

To His Glory alone,
JG

Simple yet profound

Jesus died on "a" cross, not "the" cross

The Path edged in Golden Grass

I went hiking today.

I tend to think of the occasion as my quarterly extra special date/walk alongside the Lord and God of Hosts the one "who threads the heights of the Earth"-Amos 4:13. A journey if you will to commune with God in the hills.

Each season(quarter) brings with it a new path that He puts before me. I never know quite what to expect but a path edged by golden grass i have personally never been disappointed with.

I would say I have been up to these particular hills i hike in about 12 or so times now. There are things still left to discover.

There are things that have long laid unknown and forgotten in those hills.

Today I found a treehouse tucked away and a path to it only revealed by the summer's golden grass. A legit treehouse!

I found myself reading the journal that is up there amazed at the history of a place that laid hidden where students would brave the poision oak and ticks to be still and get away.

I was out to coffee with a wise older brother on Thursday night He said He had no place to just be by himself and be quiet in SLO. It is hard to find in a college town for sure.We found ourselves agreeing with each other that we need more stillness and quiet to truly hear God in this day and age and in our own lives.

And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him
-1 Kings 19:11-13.

I found quiet today: beautiful stillness.

This is the path God is leading me into as I step in the summer season. The treehouse represents this time of stillness I have during the summer. As a wise man of God told me Thursday night I should be fully setting my eyes to the top of the hill where I will reside and be still not deterred by what has not been spoken . Where God is and God will speak.

To His immeasurable Glory alone,
JG

Ironic/Funny Book Authors

So I was in Borders and these books gave me a little chuckle on the inside. Hope it does the same for you.

JG

reminder for the owls

next time you are out at 2am or so make sure and look up into the night sky...

A small piece of joy during dead week

For those of you who don't follow this blog this is the first you tube video I have posted pretty much ever that has nothing to do with anything but pure amusement. As Landon said as we were having lunch the other day I think I am so tired exhausted drained and wiped out from this year culture is affecting me. Oh no! I am looking to Youtube videos for small pieces of Joy.

9 more days!

JG

Revelation Apart from God's word?

I want to pose a question. It's been one I have been wrestling with for quite a while :is their revelation apart from God's word? When people say they hear from God do they really? Is there any measure by which to discern whether these are true or not?

Piper has these words to say:

The great need of our time is for people to experience the living reality of God by hearing his word personally and transformingly in Scripture. Something is incredibly wrong when the words we hear outside Scripture are more powerful and more affecting to us than the inspired word of God. Let us cry with the psalmist, “Incline my heart to your word” (Psalm 119:36). “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Psalm 119:18). Grant that the eyes of our hearts would be enlightened to know our hope and our inheritance and the love of Christ that passes knowledge and be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 1:18; 3:19). O God, don’t let us be so deaf to your word and so unaffected with its ineffable, evidential excellency that we celebrate lesser things as more thrilling, and even consider this misplacement of amazement worthy of printing in a national magazine.

I think his words are very wise we should never elevate the extraordinary over the ordinary because God does far surpassing things with ordinary vessels, it gives God more glory that way. May we all be the greatest contradictions to what we should be by the world's standards.

You can check out the rest of the Piper article here

To His Glory alone,
JG

Proverbial Thoughts

So it's been a while since I have actually sat down to write something.

The latest writings have been a little sloppy... my sincerest apologizes for those who have tried to piece together the shattered concepts presented in them. I do appreciate the effort. I really do.

But even I must admit. They were awful as of late.

I want to redefine what I do here a little though and present almost like a proverbial-esk blog entry of some recent revelations in my life. Here they are:

The writings that I do here will never amount to anything because they will never take the place of God's words in the bible written to you. The words He has said through that Book will do more for you than I will ever do through preaching here. The only thing that really matters would be the relationship and friendship I have with you the reader. That is where anything truly worth noting will be found.

So some would ask why blog? I simply put enjoy writing in this form and fashion. I think it helps give glory to God when I review all that God has done in my life and see the transformation of the heart behind the words over the years. But I must remember I should never write if it does not come out of my heart because it profits nothing.

I have realized a lot as of late that real friendship is the active engagement of one another. Without an active seeking out of one another's company friendships fall by the waist-side and do not develop into anything beyond "acquaintance." Most people do not have friendships like this due to schedule. Yet it is because of their unwillingness to sacrifice to satisfy a deeper longing that such things never develop into true meaningful relationships. This is a shame not many have this.

I have also realized that when we say we understand God's word we fool ourselves. We have no idea what it says. We should be humble skeptics always asking "what does this say?" True faith asks questions and let God do the revealing not the intellect.I think it is this revelation that teaches us that God usually speaks only when we quiet ourselves enough to listen. This often happens when we are humbled. But instead of circumstance pushing us to this point why not be an ever present state of prayer to quiet ourselves and hear.

I think that will do...for now.

To His Glory alone,
JG

How Great a Salvation

My community group leader asked a very thought provoking question the other night that I have been wrestling with in my mind “ how great was your salvation?”

We were talking about Colossians 3 and how it calls us to have the flesh crucified and become truly dead.

I am led to ask was mine so great a salvation if there was not death to the flesh completely and absolutely?

I am led to believe as I thumb through the pages of the bible that the Christianity in our day and age is not at all what the apostles experienced in that first century church.

All of them had character and they obeyed and it was a joy to do so.

They were Spirit led in every facet and reached a world because of it.

I read the things Christ calls us all to be in the pages of scripture and I find we are not and all if not all are fully not what Christ intended them to be. Me as well.

This week I have been reading Martin Luther’s writings He likes to ask the question what does this mean?

I like his approach to questioning things.

But I feel much like Luther where I feel the church, in this case the American church has gone a crooked way. We need to get back to the narrow path less tread.

Sam Walter Foss in the following Poem paints that picture very clearly

One day, through the primeval wood,

A calf walked home, as good calves should;
But made a trail all bent askew,

A crooked trail as all calves do.

Since then two hundred years have fled,

And, I infer, the calf is dead.
But still he left behind his trail,

And thereby hangs my moral tale.

The trail was taken up next day

By a lone dog that passed that way;
And then a wise bell-wether sheep

Pursued the trail o'er vale and steep,
And drew the flock behind him, too,

As good bell-wethers always do.
And from that day, o'er hill and glade,

Through those old woods a path was made.

And many men wound in and out,

And dodged, and turned, and bent about;
And uttered words of righteous wrath,

Because 'twas such a crooked path.
But still they followed - do not laugh -

The first migration of that calf.
And through this winding wood-way stalked,

Because he wobbled when he walked.

This forest path became a lane,

That bent, and turned, and turned again.
This crooked lane became a road,

Where many a poor horse with his load,
Toiled on beneath the burning sun,

And traveled some three miles in one.
And thus a century and a half,

They trod the footsteps of that calf.

The years passed on in swiftness fleet,

The road became a village street;
And this, before men were aware,

A city's crowded thoroughfare;
And soon the central street was this,

Of a renowned metropolis;
And men two centuries and a half,

Trod the footsteps of that calf.

Each day a hundred thousand rout,

Followed the zigzag calf about;
And o'er his crooked journey went,

The traffic of a continent.
A hundred thousand men were led,

By one calf near three centuries dead.
They followed still his crooked way,

And lost one hundred years a day;
For thus such reverence is lent,

To well-established precedent.

A moral lesson this might teach,

Were I ordained and called to preach;
For men are prone to go it blind,

Along the calf-paths of the mind;

And work away from sun to sun,

To do what other men have done.
They follow in the beaten track,

And out and in, and forth and back,

And still their devious course pursue,

To keep the path that others do.
But how the wise old wood-gods laugh,

Who saw the first primeval calf !
Ah ! many things this tale might teach - 

But I am not ordained to preach.

I was at a bonfire a few weeks ago and I asked someone who had recently graduated what was the greatest thing he had learned over the course of college. He said it was to not compare himself to others. He learned a truly great lesson. We shouldn't let standards be merely because they are.

We have to go the path God calls us to, not the one bent all askew.

To His Glory alone,
JG

Our problem in Two Questions

Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit have you now been perfected by the flesh?(GAL. 3:3)

I have been dwelling on this verse, it is like a dagger to me. All the good, bad, methodology, practical application etc. I don't listen enough and heed the spirit enough. I have ignored him. I have become what I truly hated. I dream too small for a great and glorious God.

Jesus my Lord
May the Spirit reign ,
to the Father's Glory alone

JG

Dang!

This sermon is well worth your time if you have fifty minutes to listen.



To His Glory Alone,
JG

Who said a Candle Blowing Out is a Bad Thing

11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

-psalm 139

Fifty

Candlelight why do you cease?

here we are brought to our knees on the eve of fifty 

Where 2000 years of an oracles voice has grown close to cease

Candle light what words will your last be?

Take me back to the day when your light was like the sun? 

radiating ever place where shadow ceased.

But here we are brought to out knees

on the eve of fifty here where the candlelight refuses to be

Although Dim my eyes grow I can see the Spirit brood

May He find a resting in those who see a fainting light to renew

Bring us back to life.

To His Glory Alone,

JG

To love

I have been meditating on the greatest commandment( Luke 10:27) for a week or so. The meditation has led me to many questions. It says to love the Lord your God with all your 1. heart 2. soul 3. strength and 4. mind.

Upon meditation I think we forget to love God with more than our #4(minds) quite often. We base almost everything on intellect.

I want to pose a question with these thoughts in mind is this way of doing things crippling the church from loving God as she ought?

I personally find this meditation to be disturbing in countless ways.

It says in romans 10:10 that when we first believed it was with our hearts. Intellect had no place in that most awesome of occurance.

I have wondered so often what is so truly incredible about the new believer. I think it is this: that they love God with their heart...they are seeking him with their mind...they are willing to be strong....and their soul pants for God.

They have this beautiful balance within them.

I have been wondering what can restore that balance within the older believer? I prose the question because I see that I don't have a proper balance in my own life.

Regarding this I think Jude 19 points out a great truth "these are the men who divide you , who follow more natural instincts and do not live by the Spirit." The truth is I think that living by the spirit is the only way what was divided can be put back together.

I have been struck with what Ezekial 37 says, this idea that God can breathe once again on the dead and seperated bones joining what was torn apart. There is life after so great a death! What a great truth!

As to How to live by the spirit and truly love my only advice is

" the realm of the spirit is closed to the intellect."
-A.W. Tozer

Once we stop staring at this wall that bars us from putting all of these puzzle pieces together and say God " you are the only one who can lead me into this and do this" that is when I have seen great things happen and true Christianity begin .

Remember "they will know we are Christians by our love"

To His Glory alone,
JG

Colony of heaven

Bring me out in the Spirit
Sit me down
Tell me this age old mystery

Lead me to behold
What lies in this place
Can we truly live after such a death?

Breath of God in this age
let them Know You are!
May the earth quake and tare! Awaken what lies trapped behind such death.

You say “where faith believes and questions arise Command the whisper!
Speak to Me, command the four winds.
Let colonies of heaven arise on Earth.
Live and stand!"

To His Glory alone,
JG

Mishandling the word

Every Monday I go out with my best friend to coffee. Him and I take about a three hour break at the beginning of our weeks to talk about God's work in our lives and speak truth into each other. Over the course of this tradition which has now lasted almost two quarters I have grown to see what God does with such a thing and what happens as a result of true "community" between believers.

But even more recently i have realized spending a lot of time in God's word i find myself disagreeing with a large majority of christianity and what we have made it to be especially with the sermons that people preach. Take for instance the focus we have put on certain verses and ignoring the whole of scripture around it or that it sits in. I was struck tonight by what John writes in his gospel(v.8:31-32 ) that abiding in God's word is the mark of a true disciple. We don't teach discipleship that way and thinking about it in context with the great commission and how it is preached by itself: not weighed in meaning by the rest of scripture I honestly urg I can't belief those who bare the name of Jesus are mishandling this very powerful sword( the words Jesus spoke before he ascended)His last words! So much of what we do is unbiblical and most don't even know it.

Another thought I have been dwelling on is I have been thinking about this strict fundamentalism developing in America and sticking to the bible alone(sola scriptura). Thinking that this movement may cause a huge reformation/upset/disruption in the whole of Christianity It is going to be quite something much like in Ezekial 37 when God breaths life into a valley full of dead bones and very disturbing rattling sound begins.

I thank God I have a whopping amount of work to do and to occupy this brain from all this. That God can teach me in this time and not allow impulsive judgments to take place of well heart felt discernment about things.

To His Glory alone,
JG

A riddle of sorts

When all of this unfolds and these puzzles find their peace:the wars fought with the undercurrent of the divine light shed its shadow and defines itself .

I have refused to see the breaking light of the incredible things.

And when these sleeping giants awake what will the world have to say?

Will tides swell and waters part? Questioning so deep I no longer have the question.

Deepest oceans fold over themselves to show a depth deeper than even the deep that calls out and reveals the deep.

Endless hours in silence to reveal it will no longer be the same.never again.

Every thing singing the same tune. Yet not knowing quite how to join in the song.

This Teddy bear i cling to. embrace of prayer, these arms of love. Passion defines this heartbeat of a battle against formula.

You are speaking the things that level me and leave me toung tied .

Smaller crumbs leading to the source. What will the world say when such a thing is found.

What will it say?

To His glory alone,
JG

Of love and Intellect

Be still young night
And sing me a lullaby

Where logic fails and dreams begin
And love becomes the melody
Where the rigid line ends and a new one begins

My mind fades
My heart sings

All to sing abandoned
All to You my king

To His Glory alone,
JG

Love was the White Flower

I was telling a friend over lunch how I am finding how prone to judgement I am. I do not love people well, actually scratch that, I fail miserably short when I compare my actions to the words that Jesus spoke.

I know so much but I am finding I truly don't know much of it at all when it comes to loving people. I tend to expect perfection out of people especially those who God includes in his household of faith. My friend the one I has lunch with today asked me "doesn't got delight in their failing attempt though?" With all the biblical knowledge I have I couldn't say no the answer was "yes" God doesn't care if we get it right or wrong he just cares that we love Him with our whole hearts.

I tell everybody "God doesn't expect perfection he expects progress" but I am finding myself realizing these next words "and he works with people"The whole thing finally hit me.

I can be so prone to judge God's church yet the fact remains that a majority of them are trying. It is shattered and broken yes but if my words break before my heart does it profits them nothing. We get caught up in labeling things as black and white but perhaps their is a gray known as attempt that God delights in.

I must realize all my life I have found God through my intellect and mind and because of such a thing I am very easily prone to become like the Pharisees that I despise and judge way to quickly.

I am prone to forget that God has my back and He loves me...He does! Our sovereign majestic beautiful God. I can pause on that and rejoice in that.

To His Glory alone,
JG

A Different Trail

It's funny when God wants me to go be still before him in the hills he has the most peculiar way of telling me. Yesterday morning God spoke through my friend with a simple question "what is you favorite page( referring to the newly released SLO Parks and Recreation schedule)"

See my roomates and I have this tradition in my house here in SLO, when a new person visits our house we have them read " I am a puppy" and we ask them what is there favorite page in the book. My friend thought it would be good to ask me my favorite page again since I was feeling a little overwhelmed that morning.

I picked the very last page where the puppy is curled up in the doggy bed by the fire. Needless to say I realized from that I needed to just rest and be still before God( which means I needed to go hiking soon).

But to confirm such a thing my friend hands me the SLO parks and recreation schedule and tells me to pick my favorite page...it happened to be the one with all those peaks and hills I haven't climbed and where the trail heads are located.

So I figured I would do something new for a change instead of hiking the same old trails. I rode my bike to the new trailhead this morning, then spent the next five or so hours hiking and being still before God in the hills.

Maybe later on this week after I process some I will get to what God taught me up there but I need to get back to "life" for now.

To His Glory alone,
JG

Thursday

I remember fall quarter learning about God's sovereignty and his oversight. I saw what He was doing in and around me and worshipped Him for who He was and what he was doing. 

With time we learn though how simple our blind faith was at such a time and we begin to ask those questions that help us understand things in a truer sense. 

like the question I asked myself this evening..."why is God having to have such oversight that I see so tangibly in and around me? "

All I could come to is we are awful wretched people and we seem to fail at everything we so tangibly want to influence. 

I think with age we grow a bleaker picture of the world we live. 

I was at Peets this morning with a friend and we met this Bangladeshi man. People like him always seem to give an un-American view of the world that I find very refreshing and humbling. We talked to him for a while and all I could think was his view is so much truer than the numbness that is in most our minds as Americans.

Such conversations normally give me a dose of reality and because of that I become a little distraught for a day or two. So naturally tonight it came to 9pm and I grabbed my cookies and cream ice cream from the fridge took a spoon and started eating it straight from the tub saddened by the world I lived in and God came to redeem. I was texting my friend telling him what was up tonight and he told me to rejoice that Jesus has died and risen and covered all that. Yet my heart is still grieved by our world and how much it still needs Jesus and my inability and ineffectiveness in seeing that carried out well. 

But what frustrates me more is that God is not like me. When I sit down and read the scriptures His ways are not my ways. He cares more about my character and discipline as a christian than my effectiveness. I absolutely hate that. Because when I sit down and determine to do something that is good it needs to be accompanied by pure motives and a proper placement of things in order in my life. It's not about my actions or my religion it is about my relationship with God the Father and how I heed His whispers. That is not easy.

To His Glory alone,

JG

Winnowing fork to the Mountains

Behold, I have made you a new, sharp threshing sledge with double edges; You will thresh the mountains and pulverize them, And will make the hills like chaff. You will winnow them, and the wind will carry them away, And the storm will scatter them...
-Isaiah 41:15-16

To His Glory alone,

JG

A Journey Begins

Each first sentence, every word, or first stroke begins something new .

What will come as a result of the journey that the pen brush or heart has begun we seldom know.

Yet, I am assured that such a first step always holds something unexpected and wonderful.

Truly wonderful

What a great hope is that, in that every advance and step forward there is someone there beside us... Jesus!

Like a man who has just left the dock and safety of the harbor. I feel I am entering uncharted waters. Yet with Jesus as my captain and my dear friend the skies seem so blue and the waters so calm.

How great and glorious is our God!

Yet what makes my eyes glisten and my heart catch on fire is that I see God bringing so many men to a point of loving God and a truer definition of all the things God's heart holds so dear. God's work is so evident I can't help rejoice! He has made him self known and alive to them and me...and because of that the Word is living once again to the soul!

and like I said as with beginnings it is only the beginning of what God has planned for us as we diligently pursue His face, His heart, and His character.

How great and glorious is our God!

To His Glory alone,
JG

3 personal experiential proverbs

Ordinary Days do not give rise to great writings

Unless a Heart and a deep Passion do

Vulnerability comes with darkness

Truth and reality comes from such an encounter

Religion is the fall back and deep root of man

Relationship is something we must strive for

To His Glory alone,

JG

Easter+40+10

I think in a lot of ways this blog gets less attention than my actual conversations. Which is a good thing cause people are way more important than what I have to say here but I was thinking today "wow it would be great if what I said in the conversations I have with people was in here, it would make a much better read for those people who take time to read this." So I am going to try to do that. I am going to try and explain what I told Elise yesterday while on our date. Sound good! Okay! 

While home on Easter's Eve I was reading through the account of Jesus' death and resurrection and the concurrent following days weeks months etc. and I was really struck by this whole idea of what followed Easter. As we all know as Christians Jesus rose from the dead. He was basically around for forty days in which I believe as the bible points out He basically taught the disciples how to understand His words and gave them basically an understanding of scripture now that the majority of scripture was fulfilled. On that fortieth day he rose and joined His father. the following ten days the disciples met in the upper room and prayed and were one and then the holy spirit came. 

So I took this thought and said instead of just making "easter" a one day thing and forgetting about it as all of us sometimes do why not make it into a 50 day thing  remembering the remarkable chain of events that Easter had or if you do lent 90 days. Forty days before easter. Fifty days after.

So I have devoted myself for the next 27 days (as it is 13 days after easter today) to letting God redefine my understanding of scriptures...saturating myself in it praying and seeking out God  etc. . In a sense fasting from anything that is not Jesus ( to some degree I can't remove myself altogether,wish I could but I am supposed to be in the world). I'm all about the Matthew through John. 

And in all this It's really remarkable because everything is literally beginning to change or flip a 180. My understanding on the concept of God's church,  when we should be doing ministry, What community looks like, rebuke,  sin: it's all just molding into something solely based on the words that Jesus spoke and its crazy. 

And I find myself asking questions, lots of question about what I see in the church and it compared to what Jesus says.  ie. what should we do, how should we live our lives. What parts of that church were cultural and what were ordained by God to follow in suit etc. 

And all these questions basically have led me to say God I want to live a life in that "God may find a way through me". I have always been more on the opposite end of things thinking it is God's role being somewhat "hyper calvinist" if you will but as I am learning the church is the oracle of God in this age and it is our charge to make sure we are doing things right, ie be the people God is calling us to be and this focus on the gospels has really done that it is remarkable. I've really learned to see that the embrace of scripture is what holds all of this together.

Anyways I think that is enough I need to do some studying, catch you guys later. 

To His Glory alone,

JG

 

Glorious day

The Morning is beautiful

Foggy clouds break

The rain of night has faded with time

To reveal this spring

A man setting sail

Journeying into this great mystery

Stillness brings a great hope

Clouds have ceased!

To His Glory alone,

JG

Holy Joy

Those who, under troubles and temptations, abound in fervent prayer, shall in due season abound in grateful praise, which is the true language of holy joy.

-Matthew Henry's commentary on the 145th Psalm

May the Lord find a way through us...

God's working in a "Go"er Generation

Over the past few days the pastors of centralcoastchurches.com or the CCEPN had the privilege of hosting John Piper at Cal Poly.

Upon reflection about the words Piper said I am amazed at how truly in rhythm with the will of heaven the man is. I spent most of today downtown at Peet's praying journaling thinking going over again what he said because I know there was more there than met my initial ear. I knew such initial thoughts were incomplete at best so I spent the day in reflection letting the holy spirit search them out. And after much prayer I am just honestly blown away by the man God has very close to His heart and the word Piper spoke last night.

Piper spoke on missions. He began with a note on the history of missions how it began with William Carey in the late 1700's and named those who followed in his footsteps forging ahead into new unreached areas. He continued for about three to four hours to explain and expound upon what it looks like to forge ahead and be a goer. You can read the notes here

I reflect here because the message did not sink in initially till I got to God's heart though the words. And in that reflection I believe Piper made me realize some very fascinating things about SLO culture.

1.The Christian culture here although, very much at the forefront of God's heart of anyplace I have encountered, has not gotten to such a place through books on missionaries. Many here do not know about Carrey, Elliot, and those great missionary men who forged into new areas. SLO Christian culture has gotten to such a place by the placement of God's word at the forefront of their ministries and lives doing and heeding what it says. It is not about more methodology or wisdom it is about God's word!

2.Many here have because of such lack of knowledge and thought life not focused beyond simply being a sender. Many have not asked the question will God send me. If God is to fulfill the great commission in my lifetime there will be a heck of a lot of goers, many of them will be of great intellect, as we are abounding here in SLO.

Personally as I said before I was not initially struck with what Piper said but upon reflecting they sank in very much : I have wrestled with this issue of missions that many began to wrestle with last night for about three years ever since I had an initial desire to go to SE Asia and do relief/mission work there. After three years of much thought and prayer on the subject I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt I am to be a sender for the meanwhile, but last night rekindled the idea that perhaps one day I will fulfill what my heart still burns for in part.

So when Piper spoke on the "going" last night he struck every single chord that I have that still desires to go. I wrote in my journal today.

He spoke on missions Lord. There is still a flame in me that would easily take what He has said and move immediately and reach all those people left unreached. But it would be contrary to all you have taught me these past three years...I will continue to tarry Lord.

And although yesterday I was confused by such a topic for the "event" considering the three years of thought life on the cubject. I have come to see mainly through his words and God's work with them that many will be going in this age, perhaps not I now but many will be going.

I believe and firmly see that God is doing something extraordinary with this age, perhaps the last great age and the last great "work" of God.

And as was the words of many I asked over break about this "work."

I see pockets of revival scattered across this vast nation and a return to the strict fundamentalism that led to such a remarkable transformation as was present during the renaissance.

If what I sense and see and discern is true what a church God is redeeming, what a vast people God is reaching!

To His Glory alone,
JG

Time is Telling

At the end of each quarter I normally retreat( or as Calvary SLO says advance) into the hills to pray, seek out the face of God, and reflect on the quarter. This quarter it was more to pray than anything. I had and still do feel/felt God leading a necessity for solitude and prayer.

I am not quite sure what I prayed during the time I spent in the fog lying down in the grass field in the hills. One thing I knew though is that I needed God's embrace as the fog and the multitudes of grass that surrounded me last Wednesday.

To be honest, I've been in that same spot for a while now. That is desperately needing God's embrace and love. I sit down can't think,learn or pray all I can do is simply sit be still and wait for restoration to happen.

It is as a dream I had while I was home. I could not scream Jesus' name. I feel so crippled by the enemy to scream the name of my Lord and Savior.

But God is faithful! He does not leave us shattered and broken.

God alone has begun the long process of restoration on what was broken ripped and shattered last quarter. I have by God's grace begun to be able to reflect again . I feel a necessity to do so, although it is painful and difficult.

Like I said a few blogs ago I've felt like a big ball of string unraveled. Easily cut. Easily knotted. Easily bent and manipulated. A Great Cynic. Hater. Enraged man. Alas even envious.

And although this may be so far away from who and what I want to be I cling to hope: the one who does not give me what I want but what I need I heard very clearly at the feet of Jesus. "trust me let me unravel you to restoration, I will make you as a cord but these things are necessary" None of this is easy. It is painfully difficult being unwound.
. . .

While I was lying distraught in tears and in prayer in the field surrounded by the fog and the grass i noticed something next to me: it was a few crimson flowers.

Reflecting upon it I can't help but remember Golgatha where Jesus was crucified the white flowers that were perhaps on the hill underneath the shade of his crushed body. I see the white flowers stained crimson by the blood that poured from those hands and his feet pinned by one nail.

He was simply saying remember me, look to me, let me restore you. You will not be marked by who you once were although very pure white. You will be known and marked by my blood.

He has washed me with His blood into the most beautiful crimson!He has clothed me with a robe washed in his blood so that I might never forget.May I always remember my Vast God who shed all he had, for me.

To His Glory alone,
JG

Time will tell...

Who is like you, O Lord, among the gods?
Who is like you, majestic in holiness,
awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?
- Exodus 15:11

So I have taken a little break from writing as you may have guessed.In fact a little break may be an understatement because what I am currently praying and seeking God out in doing may lead me to take an extended break from many things.More on that though in its time...

I will note though that this past week I have been in Colorado 1. spending time with my family 2. talking with firms and giving them resumes CVs and portfolios to get an internship for the summer 3. resting 4. praying about what next quarter holds and my role in it 5. and taxes!

Its funny though because in being here my mind is rested and at perfect peace once again and I have nothing to say...which is very strange.

I may not write for a while..you never know? As I wrote before time will tell.

To His glory alone,
JG

Crimson flowers

Things are changing... I sense it.

How to write about such a thing puzzles me though to a vast complexity.

Til that changes I will wait expectantly...and guess I'll see what comes when it does.

To His glory alone,
JG

?

What has dead week held, what will finals week reveal? Something has changed and for the first time at the end of the quarter I am clueless.
Page by page
Thumbing through a history
Who is This that planned it all
Wise enough to know

A passing perception and a fleeting figment
Tis something I dare to venture to see

Something written about a hope
Something about a spinning wheel
And something worth gazing at beyond such a thing

Worm to butterfly to eagle
Such a ludicrous thing turned reality

Frozen cocoons
Preserved in perfection till their time to bloom

How do I handle what I see?
As I thumb through miracles
As ancient pages and words appear
here in full flight

-JG

War

There are rumors of war

Hushed whispers of such a thing in the land
whispers of His majesty, our King

And if I could say one thing
It would be to speak of this thing that comes of surrender
Of a hope and epic battle that ensues
Of a great darkness and a morning rising
Of Love in the shape of a sword.

There are rumors of war

I hear a trumpet's call
I hear this ever quickening beat
I hear such a thing

Can you see the great deception
In this mockery? Legions of a prince
here to destroy this growing thing.

There are rumors of war…and war is coming
and war is here...

...do not be deceived.

to His Glory and to His Name,
JG

Compilation

Well, one more quarter of Architecture school done! I am always amazed looking back where God takes you in this journey of life. He has honestly blown my mind and rocked my world in it all. He always does.Crazy.

To His glory alone,
JG

Almost done!

Accomplishment of the day: 3/4 boards done!
To do list: research paper, architectural engineering calculations, sustainable design
integration,two elevations,and a structural steel detail.

to His glory alone,
JG

Lessons in the Seeking

I probably should be taking a nap right now instead of gathering my thoughts, but there is something that has been happening as of late with these 22 hour days that, honestly, I really can't sleep with such things inside and I feel a need to write here.

Lately there has been a great yearning and unease about the way things are regarding christendom,yet at the same time seeing and believing God doing something absolutely breathtaking here that causes me to be in constant worship yet seeking something greater because what is is not what God believes to be the better. In a way being very apostolic and looking forward and pushing toward what is beyond what we have currently yet at the same time to knowing it is going to happen yet earnestly desiring to co-labor with Christ.

It's a contradiction that seems to make so much sense yet no sense at all, but it does its crazy!

And for some reason and somehow in this God has been changing me so much yet bringing me back to who I am really am in Christ and who I was made to be and I am. So I am changing but a better word would be realizing.

I was spending some time in the word a few weeks ago and God kept saying trust me" let me unravel you, that I may make You stronger." God has been doing such a thing. I feel like a ball of yarn unraveling rolling down a very long hill. In it I have been able to see all those areas where the string may be tangeled or hanging by a single thread and God has been able to like a chord braid me and make me stronger. And honestly I am a ratty mangeled string when I am unraveled. Praise be to God that he fixes such things and allows us to do greater and more wonderful things through Him.

I relate a lot with God's word through Isaiah in chapter 22

17 Beware, the LORD is about to take firm hold of you
and hurl you away, O you mighty man.

18 He will roll you up tightly like a ball
and throw you into a large country.
There you will die
and there your splendid chariots will remain—
you disgrace to your master's house!

Who I am has been unraveled.

In it God has led me into one of the most remarkable things I have ever come across in scripture. But I feel the only thing I should mention is this verse:Proverbs 25:2 says

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter;
to search out a matter is the glory of kings

In the seeking and the capacity and ability to listen and observe something lies subtle and something absolutely remarkable. Allow the Holy Spirit to show it to you, I encourage you to seek it out! It will blow you mind!

JG

Under the Glow of the Light in the Night

What if each one of us were to take one thing from the bible that refers to how to be the body of Christ and spent the rest of our lives living out that one thing that we see outlined in scripture what we are called to?

Reduced our call to a specific thing and focused on doing that one thing to the best of our ability.

What would that look like?

Would it give us more time for the more important things like prayer?

What would the lives of christians look like that would spend hours at the feet of the throne of the Almighty?

What I have observed over my years is that a lot of us christians are spread too thin. Granted we are the Laborers that are few right? But honestly the harvest doesn't seem to be as plentiful as I read in scripture that it should be. Something seems off.

I have been during this time of extended busy hectic life been trying to radically simplify my life. I believe I have actually succeeded in a lot of ways.

I have learned this in this time: things are never complicated, we make them that way. Simplicity it is a beautiful thing.

to His glory alone,
JG

Revisiting Grace

Recent events have led me to dwell on grace a little more than I normally do.

I was reminded last night through various conversations that most of those who are lost have no idea of what grace is. They are blind to see grace in their lives and don’t think about such a thing and don’t live it out to others.

“If anyone sins, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the Righteous” (1 John 2:1)

That is grace: that although we sin, as we all do, God forgives us. We act out grace because God gave us grace.

I tell people all the time”if God can forgive me I can look past this thing that you think it so bad that you feel a need to apologize for." Really nothing is a big deal when it come to extending grace because God showed me grace.

I wrote a blog a year or more ago about grace meaning empowerment. You can search for it and find it if you like. What I learned then was there is a power in humility and loving people. I was so struck this week by Acts 2 because the apostles were in awe of all that God was doing. Awe comes from being humble and all the miracles came because they were simply extending a full measure of grace.

We are so dreadfully off from what that fellowship looked like back in the first century church .Things need to change as drastic as that wind that came from heaven in their fellowship.I believe God in His grace in His love and our reflection of Love and our view of Him as Holy Father will l'takken olam b'malkhut Shaddai, fully and absolutely.

JG

Are you aware?

I am afraid we are dreadfully not.

To His glory alone,
JG

Afflatus:Cease

Certain phrases stick with us over time...they are those things that we can't rid our minds of. The idea of stopping has been in a sense the reoccuring theme over these past few weeks.

While I was in Seattle I got the chance to attend two of the local churches:

The lessons I learned while at Mar's Hill will be mentioned a little later on.

But tonight I was reminded of what a very wise man spoke on when I met up with one of my good friends at a local Seattle church, that second church.He talked on the holy spirit in Acts: specifically what it looks like to actually have it, what the scriptures declare about such a thing.

See tonight,a question that I have been formulating for a couple of years now as to whether or not there is this thing known as "baptism of the holy spirit" finally came to an answer. I am firmly convinced it does and that a large majority of christendom lives without annointing and what the church should have through such a "promise of the father."

I understand perfectly why things seem to be so confusing and chaotic as of late it is because we have forgot to be still and let a period of preperation come into a period of realization.

I stumbled upon an interesting quote tonight:

The church would be better off if we called for a moratorium on activity for about six weeks and just waited upon God to see what He would do for us. Just wait on God.The early church did that very thing. They cleaned up the loose ends and were united...The holy spirit did not come upon the disciples to unite them. The holy Spirit came upon the disciples because they were already united,"being of one accord and in one place"...we have yet to see what God can do with a man if He can get him together in one place."

- A.W. Tozer

Every great preacher who has lived and every man who has been used to start revival was still and ceased and was filled, read their biographies every one has it in them.

Search the scriptures there is something dreadfully off.

Let God teach you to cease and be fully in one place. That we might be one as the Triune Godhead is one.

To His glory alone,
JG

To Simply Stop

The first words are always the hardest. They always are. They always are!

As often I write here” there is no way I can write it ALL!”

For a while now I have not written much, infact I flat out haven’t written anything.

I have been so preoccupied and consumed as of late. Infact I really hadn’t stopped till I went to Seattle this past week. I finally got my Sabbath when I met God in the city.

There is this place in Seattle called Pike Place Market, it is where musicians perform and Seattleites buy produce and other handcrafted things, the place intrigued me.

There was this man playing his fiddle there one of the days.

I am a couple days removed now but I think I finally get why I was so captivated. This man was playing his fiddle still and beautiful even though the world around him buzzed hummed and scuffed by.

It was as if the world was still for just a moment when I heard the music he was playing.

It was a remarkable thing.

But I think the thing that I find so remarkable is the fact that this man in many respects is what I desire to be.

I am so tossed here and there as of late. I need to remember to gaze into the eyes of Jesus and learn to play my fiddle and let all of this simply be still although it is chaotic and crazy.

This quarter more than any other I have been literally unraveled to the very core of the honest me one who can’t manage everything gracefully at all. There is a new understanding in realizing just simply to stop.

Attempt at Summary

I fear if I do not write now…it probably will be a long while before I sit down and actually write something.

I could probably start with my trip down to LA to go to the Passion Conference. How in the city I feel strangely at home. How I find more enjoyment by sharing pizza with the homeless than anything else I have ever done. How I gain more by staying in the ghetto than in the safest of places. How I have learned that scripture alone speaks more than all other things. And God’s grace speaks equally if not louder. But I feel all really needs to be said about such a weekend is God is not allowing His name to be belittled, this is I find phenomenal.

I could probably start and explain how God has been redefining my idea of worship ministry. How He has taught me about the difficulties men have in approaching God and declaring their love for Jesus. How He has taught me to create an atmosphere where God can speak in the whisper and yet we declare God as He is as well . How I have learned that worship can no longer simply be about music but need to be just as much about justice. How He has taught me the greater gift I can give God’s people is the wisdom He has graced me with. But honestly I don’t know how to even attempt such a redefinition so I will let that come in it’s entirety at a later date.

I could probably start and talk about a new calling I feel led to participate in and how everything I once new has been thrown out the window and God has begun as He does making all things new! But that too…I would do it such an injustice at this time.

I could probably start with a desire to pray more and more and how prayer is what holds the world together: this driving beautiful relationship and conversation/intimate encounter between God and man.

I could talk about architecture and culture and how these are tied. About housing and how one can totally flip everything upside down and make a culture lend itself to believing God to be as Big as He is. But what is knowledge and action without God going before us in it? NOTHING is done!

Know I probably will not write here for a while .I feel my time spent here is changing. So until my fingers would move and dance to create words out of clicks and clacks…I bid you all a temporary farewell and pray that God may richly showcase Himself :He who knows no beginning or end.

To His Glory alone,
JG

String Theory

When all things small
and all things great
Find themselves wrapped in infinite praise

Tis where dust and the ordinary
cannot contain Your Spirit

When the infinite galaxies
are held in the palm of Your hand
bursting into starlight

When the smallest of things
becomes Your pursuit

tis You my God
The God of all things
small and everything

JG

Honesty at 1AM

Life is busy and hectic. This has not changed. To be honest I am beginning to tire and even despise these 20 hr days. There is a necessity for rest in life.

And as these days march so effortlessly on I've found myself more and more in realization of how incredibly aweful this flesh is inside of me. Things that I would have said I would have conquered a long time ago...well...they still are there. When I do not have sabbath and rest in my life they pop up.

Today I was thinking of quitting my job, yelling at my roomate, kicking stuff, crying into my pillow and saying goodbye to anything church related. It was a rough and aweful day.

Yet despite that fact the Spirit of God still testifies within me that God is doing a great work in this place. I cling to this because, He is. I may be too low to the ground from running so long to see currently but I know He is sovereign still.

To His glory alone,
JG

A Day's Work

Sorry I haven't written in a while, things have most certainly been busy and full to say the least. To illustrate take for instance this past week :Yesterday I was up for 20 hrs worked straight through besides lunch from 5am to 1 am, the day previous 18rs and I worked through this past weekend and monday(the holiday). A lot to do...for sure!

It is truly strange though because what I am doing I am loving and these 20 hr days honestly they don't bug me.

Yesterday I remember just being so captivated by the beauty of the silence of the morning. A sleeping world still under the veil of night still, ceasing from striving (ps 48:10.) and ending the day with the silence of the midnight hours. I remember worshiping with hands that were rough and bruised from the days labor but not being angry that life was not always roses. There was something just so profound about what lied around me yesterday, God was fully in it although it was merely just an ordinary day.

This rain that has been falling since Sunday has given me the chance to simply walk and look around. There is this beautiful captivating thing known as creation all around us. Berries in bloom, grass becoming green, the rain that is falling ,the hills these two doves that sit outside my window etc it's all so very beautiful.

And honestly I find myself struck by all who God is. As I sat at work alone this morning waiting on the systems to begin running that thought gave me joy and a smile uncontained, it simply does. It still does! God is so good, and so incredibly sovereign.

To His Sovereign Glory alone,
JG