Walk Through

Here it is...my final walkthrough for my project for the quarter. Enjoy!

JG

Most Favorite Image Thus far

So I'm doing a complete rendered walkthrough of my final architecture project this quarter. While tweaking with all the setups to prepare for the final couple days and my computer needing to chug through it for about a week perhaps and making sure I won't render inside of a wall...I rendered this image. It's beautiful. This is going to be beautiful when it is all done!

I'm doing a sample run tonight so perhaps more beautiful images in the morning...we'll see!

JG

An end to the "perfect war"

If Silence were to speak unhindered this day what would she say?
Would her knowledge reveal a new way
What you my love have found?
Could it be: this sparkle that I see in your eye?
What I Truly believe to be and see?

A Hope for a thing in ruins?
Treasures on a map once reserved for the watery deeps?
Like the butterflies
Who have become ladders to the sky

Everything that I have seen written before me
A heart overflowing in Hallelujah!
Joining in with those who have come before!

Would a fool be put to shame by such things?
A righteous man be blessed to have a heart that would skip a beat?

Perhaps words will defy this new hallelujah!
And such an unnatural grace would bring me to my knees

When I see you in Your fullness in her eyes
When you hear the subtle inflections in my voice
And the melody of this new song I sing

Know sweet stillness your time has come
Drowning out
Calling forth from watery deeps

JG

79:11

Let the groanings of the prisoner come before you; According to the greatness of Your power preserve that which is doomed to die(Psalm 79:11)....restore...and cause Your face to shine upon me and I will be saved(Psalm 80:7).

I mentioned last blog that their lie "chains around my heart that still have yet to be loosed and unlocked".

I fear after tonight and with what God led me to, my heart has in fact been made a prisoner of.

Satan has robbed me of much love and joy, that beautiful thing I desire above all else.

Men must be careful to guard their hearts.

Just as the mind is a battlefield so is the heart within men.

Satan is very crafty and may in fact imprision our hearts.

Preventing us from loving as we should. Preventing us from recieving love.

Prayer is the gateway to a mighty battlefield, a wide and terrible vast flat valley in which nothing but death looms.

And perhaps after this war is waged, to return my heart back from its capture, the sun will rise out over such death lingering no longer returning her rays of hope to a land crying out for her.

JG

Chains around my Heart

It always amazes me how simple life is when I'm up there on that mountain. How the stillness silence and serenity seem to calm every anxiety I haul up there.

Today I must have brought a caravan up that mountain with me, dragging along with it my heart and mind weighed down by so many things I was never meant to carry .But when I was up there, it was finally just me. No caravan. Just me.

On my way up I found these modern day cisterns. I imagine they were used for some Cal Poly infrastructure project at one point but they were no longer used by anyone only the remanants remained: steel tension chains, tarp, and wood. It was fitting though for me to see today of any day to see the reality of myself echoed in those empty cisterns.

I learned a lot today, positioning myself in a place where God was able to invade my heart in the most intimate of ways. He whispered things that almost sounded like secrets but they were simply just words of love whispered in my ears. Letting me see things as they are and responses birthed out of such knowledge.

There are chains around my heart that still have yet to be loosed and unlocked. My heart is ready to overflow it needs merely be unlocked and unchained...the enemies that have invaded the lands around me heart need to be located and killed.

Looks like its time to go to war and rescue my heart.
JG

Looking into Light

I feel Like I should be writing about how this project I am working on in my design class is the culmination of many ideas God has developed within me over the years but I don't really know where to begin other than I find a culmination of many painful things God has led me through to produce something quite beautiful.



I may approach God with a feeling of duty and forget to delight but I am reminded a culmination of God's work within in me produces something I can delight in. I can delight in what my hands are creating because it is merely a reflection of His work within me.



Light is beautiful...

JG

Worth a Thousand Words

Elise sent me an email tonight. She does that. I like them. She reminded me about what happened last year at the time. We have a pretty accurate electronic database known as the blog to consult for such inquiries. It's always interesting to look back on.

But before Elise gave me the perfect opener to this blog I was thinking about how pictures film and other forms of capturing a moment do so so effectively. They define an infinite wonderful thing and are a great reminder to us looking back.

I found myself walking back from my midterm tonight and thought about this idea of capturing the beauty of God in our abilities and talents and was led to the thought of how God might use my gifts and abilities being an artistic creative person. I can only capture in a sense what I see around me and make it into a beautiful tangible thing. I only capture the shadow never the full light.

So I was thinking tonight...it would be a great idea to photograph the bible just like we photograph life. Take a bible verse that is so intimate to us and make it into a photograph.

Just a thought.

I like that thought. I think I've in a sense already been doing it...

To His glory alone,
JG

Beyond excellence

I have had a lot of time on my hands as of late. And I'm not one to waste time. So In the few things I have been doing I have been going above and beyond because I have the time and energy too. Its nice I have had some time to actually be fully fully engaged in my architectural studio and have been immersing myself in the few things I have been doing below. Enjoy.

The picture above is an idea for a main gathering hall in a convent. The use of light is supposed to evoke the same emotions as churches use to( height and light) but with a new added development weightlessness.

Below is a wall section of the concrete precast panels that would allow light to function in the above fashion.


To His greater glory,
JG

I hate introductions. Let’s just get to the point.

I have a Christian brother who can’t control himself in regards to a certain addiction…it is consuming him. He can’t stop. He sent me an email today and my heart just broke.

If there is no desire to run away from sin and a desire to stop it…what do I do with that especially with a Christian brother. Do I sit by idly til he hits rock bottom and God restores him fully regarding this certain issue or do I try like many in our culture do and try to cover his heart condition with elaborate pageantry and lies which avoid the true issues.Do I not associate with him as 1 Corinthians 5:11 says.

But now I am writing to you to stop associating with any so-called brother if he is sexually immoral, greedy, an idolater, a slanderer, a drunk, or a robber. You must even stop eating with someone like that.

Cause if I followed that model I don't think there would be much christian community because many "so called" christians have one or more of these issues going on. We'd all be forced to deal with some deep sin issues alone, which perhaps is what many of us need to do. The beauty is He meets us in the aloneness and is willing to help us along the path toward a deeper holiness we just need to place ourselves there.

My heart grieves and is pained to see that one has to hit utter disparity alone in order to understand grace a little more fully and truly have a heart’s desire change to turn to God in obedience and love. It’s so painful to see. Yet I know it is worth it.

So My prayers and the cries of my heart go out tonight to such brother. May God alone change your heart in response to Love. The one love that is worth every bit of self-sacrifice.

To His Glory alone,
JG

I miss Sammy

I decided...I miss sammy. She's the only dog I truly loved.


JG

Matthew 17:8

I get frustrated when people say God told me this that or the other. 

Its just one of those things you probably should not try and refute in other people it will just end up in a huge argument. Yet the fact remains that life has told me that not everything God "said" to these people seems to pan out. 

Yet even in those moments when their "will of God" doesn't pan out they still say "God must have other plans." 

It bugs me so much.

So forgive me in my ranting and frustration; I am a little skeptical and frustrated at something I can't bring up because "God told them". 

By no means do I have this whole communication with God thing down. I wonder sometimes if it is even possible but I think if God speaks we should probably know it or at least be able to discern a little better than most of us do in those moments. 

I know this though we get so caught up looking for specifics of what we are supposed to do , what God  told us etc. that we will occasionaly miss the line that connects all those things together. God.

He is what all our focus should be on, but perhaps we should not focus so much on him and in turn miss the world around us and him speaking around us through it.

I asked a friend a couple nights ago:

How have you seen the soverignity of God manifested in your life as of late?

As of late I think that is a far better question to be asking than " what did God tell you" and a far greater way of looking at the will of God because it forces us to look around us not inside of us. We look at who God shows himself to be and what He is doing rather than what we are doing or supposed to be doing.

I love theology for that reason, it shows me who God is. I love observing for the same purpose. When all the facts in my brain filter out, revelation comes from my heart and it has helped me understand who God is and respond to that. And that is far more valuable than anything I have "learned" or "heard". 

To His Glory,

JG

Words that Define Me

CC: wordle.net

Peter and Pride

I have a lot of time on my hands as of late mainly due to the fact I am used to having structural engineering added to my coursework as long as twice as much lab-work for architecture, likewise am used to working around 8 or so hours a week. None of those things are added to my schedule this quarter. I don't know what to do with myself. 

I feel like I suander most of the time away and am crippled by the entire days to sit in God's presence and reflect and pray. I have been doing a lot of reading though...I have been visiting ccel.org and reading some extra cannonical texts that is those books that were not originally included in what we read in the present day bible but were considered by the Council of Nicea. 

I was reading an interesting one the other day I think it was called the revelation of Peter. It pointed out something that  I am coming to realize more and more each day. I think watchman Nee puts it well:

"God deals with our lives... in order to help us understand ourselves. We realize the hardest lessons to learn is that of knowing oneself- to appreciate how corrupt, empty, sinful, and void of good one is. This lesson has to be absorbed throughout life."

-Watchman Nee

We are still in part flesh and humbleness needs to be in our hearts as Christians...see man is so full of pride and Peter knew this probably more than any one else in the Apostles. God reveals himself in the intimate ways as he oftentimes does and The revelation of peter captures this truth very well. But if you are against extra-cannonical texts look at John 21 and how Jesus rebukes "captain foot in the mouth."

We are so full of pride and we come to better terms with that each and every day we live the sanctified life.

JG

Eternally Yours

Is it a severe turning point in the life of a christian when he realizes that all of lifes lessons cannot be documented and there is knowledge and wisdom that cannot be contained in letters strung into words?

God's romancing and my heightened emotions and volition to offer a scrap of the love He offers me will say nothing other than I love You tonight. 

...and that is all I need to say.

To Your great and awesome Glory,

Eternally Yours,

 JG

Documentation finalization for summerization vacation

Sorry this is so late in getting up on this blog but I finally got done editing it tonight. The reason for the tardiness is two fold one It seems like three weeks ago when I left Colorado I was so rushed and occupied with finishing up the drywall and electrical on the basement that I didn't have time to show you the progress as of about a month ago on the basement. Two I got a new computer and getting everything up and running on my new macbook pro has been a longer process than I initially thought ie. I don't know how to work half the programs yet( you think I would be able to b now!...so here you go...enjoy.

JG

...I will trust in Your name

Like the Grains of Sand put through the flame, 

Purpose seldom seen of known

Strained to reflect, polished to shine

Soon to be shattered 

Puzzle pieces Images and mirrors

 Yet they are pieces that comprise the whole

…shards there on the ground

And I’m going to need you to Fuse what is broken back together with a fire I do not know

I have not the will or discipline to build Engetti with this sand

…I am finding it difficult to see the city to be, your purposes from dust in this dry dessert sea… but my belief in You has not faded

… it will remain

My well tested heart and will cannot see the life growing from these seeds, 

Oh To feel The rain that washes these thoughts to Ink 

The silents ripples that allow me to bleed 

The ill placed joys rippling and drowning in the puddles growing before me

To believe now …in the first drop of rain…watering what will soon become

 all of them…composing…there on the ground

They are Bleeding out, they are crying out
…I will trust in Your name

...I will believe

To His Glory alone,

JG

In faith

It's funny how you grow up and things begin to change. Those things you once thought were so important now seem so incredibly pointless. And its not at all that it lost its point, its just lost a point to you. 

It seems so much is changing as of late. 

I know past my ignorance and pretend bliss though that change is a great necessity. 

Life has a way of growing us up and in it we learn what a great hope Christ is. How truly he  loves us and how futile we are to even try to keep it all together when approaching His feet. 

That perhaps is what I am coming to...finding a great immensity of grace. 

...and an endless pursuit I can't see an end to. 

And I can only really speculate as to what God is doing and where these jumbled thoughts will fuse together in the light of His face. And perhaps that is where I should stop in faith that all great confusion transition and change all come together and in every moment his wonderful hands work so unendlessly, without ceasing  to show me its alright by the Soverignty of His mighty hands. 

To His glory alone,

JG

School is back in full swing. 

God's got my back.

Coffee is once again entering my veins. 

-JG

An afflicted Spirit

...when the cross is working deeply a believer comes to know himself. He realizes how undependable are his ideas,feelings, and desires. Hence he dare not trust himself but trembles in all matters, acknowledging that except he be sustained by the power of God he shall unquestionably fail. We must never be independent of God. The moment our spirit ceases to tremble before Him at that precise moment it declares its independence from Him. Except we sense our helplessness we shall never trust God. A spirit which trembles before Him shields one from defeat and helps him to truly apprehend God. 

-Watchmen Nee

Some more honest thoughts

 I got back into San luis Obispo Monday night. Been spending the past couple getting my life back in order resting etc. 

As of yesterday I had nothing left on my list besides:

1. pray

2.find a job

3.get print cartridges

The reason I write though is although everthing is in order for this upcoming school year and I should feel on top of things, I really don't feel on top of things at all. The bible calls men of God, me, to an impossible life. One in which if I am not leaning on the spirit for strength and renewed purpose each day I fail.  

There is grace this I know oh so well, but when I ask questions like does what I am doing inspire awe in others like back in that first century church or is my life impossible to live out? I honestly can't answer those with yes. 

Just some honest thoughts. 

God's ways are not my ways. 

I must never lose sight of that. 

To His glory alone, 

by His grace alone,

JG