There Fell upon that place peace

There was a place, lying in God's hands
a place that decided to pursure God
A place destined for great things

There was a people, lying in God's hand
a people that would not be led astray
a people so in God's presence it came forth

There was a passion, lying within our hearts
a passion to know understand and love our creator
a passion to run with a fervency never seen

This is a place I call home
A place where God is moving
A place where hearts are renewed
A place of purpose
A place of passion
A place, this Place.

And there fell upon that place...peace

I haven't stayed up in quite a while denying my body what it needs for quite a while. I think I may stay up most of the night...I sat down tonight at 2AM and worshipped God on the piano for a while or so. I miss so much being able to do that...just pour out my heart to my God in a quiet place and a place where no one has to see me.
I was singing while playing the song I wrote above and God revealed something to me in that place. He showed me that what a blessed place it is to be when we have done what God has called us to do. There have been three songs written in the past 24 hours and oh what a blessed place it is to have inspiration once again. For those of you who don't know I was having a bit of a writers block on the whole song department and it was hard to not have a method to express myself. That was rough but because of that great darkness as I like to call it I am able to enjoy these times of peace even more.
I don't know exactly how to describe how I feel tonight because I am filled with a warmth I have not felt in a long while and it is so good!!! I guess I could say and encourage you to go out and do the next thing God tells you to do and God will begin to fill you more with His spirit.
I am stoked to see what God is going to do with the remainder of this year. All I know is that I can look on how we as a christian community were in the beginning and say WOW!!! God has done a great work! I am not afraid of the fact we will be leaving in 5-6 weeks and going to our various spots because I know as God has done incredibly this year he is going to continue the great work he has started at CalPoly he is going to minister to us at where we are and unify us although so far way. We wait on His timing as a body of believers and anticipate what is to come. I wait to see. The passing of time will tell of God's faithfullness and we will see his promises never fail us!!!
JG

Bittersweet & Fullness of Joy

These implications of what I have done
They weigh heavily on my mind
In ceaseless wonder and preoccupation
Unable to cling to anything but God

I have thrown aside all pride
In hopes of finding Christ
Dying to myself
I have begun to sing a new song

This is a song of hope
This is a song of peace
This is a song of contentment
A song of bittersweet

Honesty, integrity, calling, and battle raging
This is my song

Only time can tell the outcome of these implications
Only God can be the one to whom I cling
A song of bittersweet



Fullness of Joy

Thou wilt show me the path of life:in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand are pleasures forevermore.
-psalm 16:11

There is a place that I long to go, where there is no longer pain
There is no longer hurt, how I long to be where you are
This life only and echo of what is to come, I want the source
I want to run in your fields, in the fullness of joy

There is a place I have had a desire to go for sometime
A place of fellowship so much deeper, the place you are
These victories only and echo of what is to come, I want the source
I want to sing, unhindered, in the fullness of joy

Singing a new song, a song of peace and joy
A song of elloquent melody and love evermore
Of revival, of obedience and songs of past we sing no more

There is a journey I long to take, where we don’t have to live with baggage
A walk where we walk side by side, the friend you are
This trip we take, and echo of what is to come, I want the source
I want to run, with courage alone toward the fullness of joy

There is a destination I long to see, where the tough choices are gone
There is no longer hurt, how I long to be where you are
Only and echo, this life I live, of what is to come, I want the source
I want to be, with you alone, in the fullness of joy

JG

Unto You is Given

I pray for them I am not praying for the world but for those you have given me, for they are yours
-John 17:9

I was sitting down with Elise this evening and we were discussing a few things about what the spiritual condition of this campus is? It seems both our eyes have been opened to the fact that so many of the younger christians have fallen away from their first loves and turned to other things than the love of Christ. This is sad to hear. The fact remains though that God chooses to use the circumstances in our lives to show just how great God truly is with the contrast of crummy and so wonderful. The breaking that is happening all around me is painful to see, especially with those who I care so much about, but God will use it and that is the only hope I can find in these certain situations.

I want to focus tonight on the subject of friendship because I got smacked in the face tonight at Celebration by the sermon about how crummy of a friend I have truly been in certain areas.

God has given to us people that constantly surround us and we often times make these our friends but how many times do we as a christian community take time to meet with those poeple who are not our friends and how dare we not take the initative to meet everyone who is in the body of christ and who has accepted Christ and develop a community that is so radically different. Cliques are so wrong!!! Think about it, we are supposed to be all loving but how can we not love by excluding certain people. I have not met so many people who could be a great blessing to me. Part of accepting God's blessing is stepping out of our comfort zone because that is how we get blessed. We cannot not act but we cannot act all the time either we must do with what God has given us to deal with. Not one person is going to change the world one can start a change but it is not in the power of one man to change the world. Jesus changed the world but it was the twelve disciples going in twelve different directions that only got that message out to about 1000 miles or so away from Jereuselum being martered in Etheopia, Egypt, Persia, India...and then the next followers had to carry it further. Christianity is about unity but how often times do we make it about ourselves?

I read this one book once on why the gospel kinda phizzled out to a degree in the 4th and 5th centuries. The reason was that we were putting our own plans into action instead of relying on the unity of the body of Christ. If we truly were unified as I experienced last week with the 60 or so that gathered to pray all day long then things would be radically different in our world. I think if we were to choose to love, if we were to choose Christ as the main focus things would be in a perfect state of harmony. It is interesting to find the one time Jesus isn't praying about the world he is praying for those given to him specifically that they will be unified and not rely on their own strength but rather the strength of the Father. We need to be unified! We need to take active steps meeting and being nice to people who really don't deserve niceness, wearing a smile, taking time to genuinley care about people. Sacrificing ourselves for others, in every form that can take. Being there to experience joy with a friend, being there to be a shoulder to cry on.

Unto you is given many people many choices many circumstances, glorify God in all you do no matter how trivial or pointless it may seem!

JG

A leaf in the Wind Revisited

Dream a dream so impossible; that it's doomed to failure, unless God is in it.

I was walking back from class today and a leaf happened to be in my path and I couldn't help and pick it up. I didn't really know what it was supposed to mean just like the honeybee til I ventured down the path called time.We have no idea what God has planned til we do venture down that path. I think too often we rush things but thinking about these random ways that God chooses to speak to me lately I know that God reveals things in his timing.

On that note we "closed" the week of prayer tonight about 8:30 and the thing is it has only begun. God continues to reveal more and more to us. We know of two guys who found Christ yesterday after the whole scene. We also know that because of this week God has planted thousands of seeds and has watered those seeds. He has also restored a lot of the christians here and has given us a new zeal for his word and especially oneness as a body. We couldn't stop and think of how in acts it talks about the church meeting together each day to break bread together and fellowship with one another encouraging one another. That is what we have been doing for this week and it has been the best of life I have tasted yet. Although my body failed me, when I was surviving on about 30 hours of sleep for the whole seven day week, and I could not rise this morning to fellowship and worship my God I sat in my bed and praised the One who is more wonderful than we could ever know. My body after getting some rest this morning was refreshed and I can't help think that God gives people a desire and a need to sleep for a while to quiet people down and let there be a time when God speaks to their silent thoughts.

Anyways This blog is about the leaf so I will refocus. Tonight we were worshipping "closing" the week of prayer and God showed me the meaning of the leaf. It goes something like this...We are all like the leaf. We have all fallen off the ultimate life source. I pressed that leaf in my bible and the place where I pressed it I opened and read a few minutes ago in Psalm 50 it saysThe mighty God, even the LORD, hath spoken, and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof. Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God hath shined our God shall come, and shall not keep silence: a fire shall devour before him, and it shall be very tempestuous round about him. He shall call to the heavens from above, and to the earth, that he may judge his people. Gather my saints together unto me; those that have made a covenant with me by sacrifice. And the heavens shall declare his righteousness: for God is judge himself. Selah. As I read over this verse I am reminded of this week and how it was all very random almost as much as God speaking through a deadleaf blowing in the wind. That leaf was supposed to remind me that something can be beautiful even after death . We as christians are beautiful when we sacrifice to God, when we choose to honor Him. God hath shined this week and is the perfection of beauty. As it talks about in Psalm 32: 16 "Make your face to shine upon your servant" that's what we do when we choose to live a holy life we shine as God does best. And this week there were some very shiny things and beautiful things.

God is so good, like beyond so good he is so Good. I will post an email here about the revival that is going on down at UCLA soon I pray you will be encouraged. Beyond that know I love all of you so much and regret I am unable to spend a lot of time talking with all of you but know my place is here God has called each of us to those people around us. God has a world to save and that does keep us christians busy. I look forward to hearing what is going on with all of you. Please shoot me an email or leave a message with what God is doing I will be encouraged greatly by that and God will be glorified.
JG

A honeybee Stumbling

I don't often come to a period of time where I can not seem to come to any words at all to describe events. And trying to describe the events of today I would fail in every attempt cause my words do not take into account everything that is happening because I am not omnipitent. I will only mention the words of Dr. Maclaren "ability involves responsibility."

It is interesting how in all the revivals of church history there is always prayer and then there are leaders normally 1 that gets blessed by God because of his stepping out in faith. I got the chance to lead alongside the man who I suspected from that night would be the one. He got in front of the UU this afternoon and laid out the words that this campus needed to hear a few hundred greek people or so. Whether that was the right approach who knows but the thing is he stepped out. I was reading psalm 18 yesterday slightly before it started thundering big time here. It talks of God's voice booming like the thunder. That was amazing! Cause apparenlty it hasn't been that strong in quite a while in SLO it was sweet!

Back to the quote and the interesting blog title, I began praying an hour or so before the "event" happened and as I began to pray God showed me a bumblebee on the concrete who couldn't fly for some reason. This guy that stepped out something holding him back that people can't see. He has the make of a man of God but there is something keeping him from flying and when that is released and healed as only revival can do, let's just say I am excited!

Beyond that I have most excellent news to report Revival is springing up at 3 different campuses mostly in LA UCLA and USC also Ohio State University reports are coming in of how people are being healed and 100's are turning to Christ. God is big!!! So huge!!! I wonder when I will get to hear of what God is doing internationally because I know he is working there as well. My heart will be warmed by that news. Beyond that keep this campus in your prayers that God would continue to pour his spirit into the non-believers here and that miracles signs and wonders would be done in God's name. Also that people will turn from sin, that is where it starts repentance. Getting on our knees and crucifing ourselves for the gospel to be proclaimed.

"And the times of this ignorance God winked at: but now commandeth all men every where to repent: because he hath appointed a day, in which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead "
-Acts 17:30-31

Also for the parents the calc midterm went good in Calc I should know by monday and I will try and call this weekend.
JG

Revival

God is so awesome and this week has been such an answer to prayer eagerly anticipating expecting nothing but anticipating God's moving. The only thing I will add to the word's spoken by my brother in Christ is this: that it has been incredibly encouraging to see the various worship leaders from all over campus from every denomination group organization and people who do it only for their prayer lives playing together in harmony and making a beautiful sound to the Lord. Of all the things I am learning this week, we are not alone...and I mean we are not alone! Not even close...

Here are Colin's words...

A revival has begun at Cal Poly. A group of guys in Campus Crusade for Christ organized a week of prayer from 7am to 9pm every day this week. Day 1 is done and there were anywhere from 5 to 30 people meeting in the University Union square throughout the day to worship God and pray together for revival, unity in the body of Christ, and repentance, and for our campus to be saved.
There is a beauty in it all. We have been praying for this all year in my dorm room each week, and it is finally here. God's Holy Spirit is in this place and people are turning to Christ. I love the unity of it all. There are Christians from all different clubs and some not even in clubs. The differences in denomination and race and gender and all of those other outward things are being broken down, just as I have been praying for a while now. It's amazing that although I am probably not the only one to have been praying for some of these things to happen, God hears and honors my prayers. Of course, all in His timing, but He is faithful to respond and honor our requests when we just take the time and diligence to lay them before Him.
I cannot explain how the Holy Spirit is moving here, but He is, and its incredible to hear and participate in all the prayer rising up as a sweet offering to our God. I paused for a moment as we gathered in a circle of about 50 people or so and just listened to the sweet sound of everyone crying out to God, and asking Him, petitioning Him, devoting themselves to Him, repenting and turning to Him.
God has sent his spirit to dwell in us, and among us, and He is guiding this movement. I cannot expect anything, but I await what God is going to do with the rest of this week. It doesn't matter whether or not there is some dramatic thing where thousands of people fall down on their faces and accept Christ. God is moving in a big way. I cannot anticipate what God wants to do, but I offer myself up, and sacrifice this week for the purpose of prayer and being open and available to what God would have me do, have all of us do.
I have so much faith in what God is able to do. I don't doubt anything. The important thing is to just trust God and listen to Him and to facilitate a move of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. We cannot do the moving, but we can ask God to move and we need to obey God when He moves us to do something. I pray above all else that the hearts of all the believers on campus would be open to what you want, God. Open our hearts that we may be silent before you and hear what you have to say to us indivudual and corporately. We are the body of Christ and yes we do make mistakes. We are the same sinners as everyone else is, but the difference is that we have freedom from Christ by the Cross to live free from sin and come close to God to know Him intimately.
This is God. He sent Jesus Christ to die for us. That is love - to sacrifice when we were still sinners that we may have the opportunity to enter into God's presence without condemnation or shame. Our God is an awesome God. I heard probably a hundred descriptions of God when we prayed as a bidy tonight. The healer, the first and last, the faithful one, the savior, our father, friend, lover, holy, mighty, good. These are but a few expressions of who God is. Not only is He just, but He is compassionate. He desires what is best for us and knows what is best for us, even died so that He could give us the life that we don't deserve, but that He wants us to live. Not only for God's sake, but for ours. Not to escape hell, but to experience real life in the way that He intended it from the beginning.
God is good. He made us to experience good and created us for good. We are fallen, but He provided a way for us to enter into that original state of being where we can live closely with God, who is good. This is why we worship. Because we don't deserve that grace. Grace is a decision by God to act despite our disobedience. We respond with gratitude. Yet there are so many people in this world that have heard about Christ but reject Him. Like a beggar slapping a man in the face for offering him bread. So are these generations who reject the love so freely and sacrificially offered. We need God, yet we act as if we didn't. Part of this week of prayer is for the purpose of interceding for the lost who need God just as much as we do.
I am excited to see how God is going to move on this campus. It isn't about numbers or quoting how many people were saved. Its about the renewing of our minds that results by choosing to sacrifice this week to God. There is much fruit and for those that choose to sacrifice, God has blessing upon blessing that He is itching to pour out if we just stop our busy lives, stop worrying about all these insignificant things, all these worldly things.
A good point was prayed out today during prayer. We want to go hang out or eat or work out, or go play games or be entertained. We live day after day doing all these things. Are they evil? no, not at all. But are we willing to sacrifice them for one day, one week? We all have schoolwork to do, responsibilities, even other kingdom work. Those are not to be neglected, but are we seeking first the kingdom of heaven? Even the works for the kingdom can become mundane and meaningless if we are doing those things with the wrong heart or the wrong motives. By setting this week aside, we are stating to eachother, and more importantly to God that we place value on God's will over our own. We pray that the world will be changed. We pray that the lost come to know God, we pray that we draw closer to God. But when it comes to taking a step of faith to sacrifice in order to mak eany one of those things happen, we back down and chicken out. It is not in our power to change the world, or change hearts. But God, you desire to use us to do those things, to witness those things. And when you do them, you desire and deserve the credit for doing them, which is worship.
I pray that the Christians on this campus will come to the UU to pray this week throughout the day and in the moring and evening times to worship and show that their faith is real, that they are wiling to act, willing to step out in faith, willing to make the sacrifice. God the sacrifice is simple- one of an open heart, of an available and undistracted mind. Willingness to obey, and a willigness to worship despite our emotions or feelings or other things going on. God, you are worthy to be worshipped without ceasing. Will those who call themselves Christians rise up and dare to offer up to God the praise that He deserves? Or do we limit that to the songs we sing, in the four walls of the church one day a week? God is worthy of infinitely more than all the worship we could offer. So why do we hesitate to sacrifice one week to Him? We sing, "You are worthy of all glory and honor and praise!", but are our lives too important? Are our activities, relationships, desires and emotions and idols worth our time? Only God is worthy. Let us sacrifice even just for a time that we will be changed, that God will shape us to be the people He wants us to be. Let Him lead us as the body of Christ in UNITY. We are an individualistic society. We need each other. We can't change the wolrd individually. Revival starts when people get together and establish community by loving on one another, worshipping together. Not just singing together. Really knowing and supporting and depending on one another, building one another up in the process.
I pray for the community of believers this week. God move in this place.

Gather the Glimpses

How thankful we should be to discover that it is God's desire to lead every willing heart into depths and heights of divine knowledge and communion.
-A.W. Tozer

O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth.
-Psalm 96:9

Concrete beneath me
Cold surrounding me
shivering body of mine

Asking questions
remembering promises
fearing your answers

Am I ready to
Gather the glimpses
singing songs of praise
Finally ready to see
unveiled face, finally free

I am amazed, I stand
arms open, ready to recieve
all you have for me

Here I am, take all
no matter how little or small
I surrender all
JG

Taking a break!

I have officially worked pretty much straight this weekend so far and it actually has been enjoyable because I know that because I am getting things done during the weekend things are going to be rather easy this week and that will be really nice. Anyways the whole christian community on campus is having a revival prayer movement which should be sweet I am pretty excited to know that although I don't know all that is going on I see that we are truly as it talks about one heart and one mind. That is beautiful to see. Anyways if you are at CalPoly join us this week from 7-7 every day this week starting tonight in the UU. Pretty much this should be awesome I am so excited! Anyways the above is my layout that I have devoted most of this weekend to along with other HW so hopefully it looks good and as always I am sure it will change but here I stop for a while.
JG

Railroads and Trains

I haven't really gathered my thoughts in a long while and I guess I have not really had time to organize them at all cause whenever they do come out, my thoughts that is, they are very scattered. My roomate got a concussion Monday night and has since then been rather lazy sitting in His and I's room watching movies skipping out on class and prettymuch doing nothing with his life. Understand it was a mild consussion and the doctor said he could sleep that night meaning it was nothing. He is considering swtiching majors cause architecture is hard and has a whole bunch of other issues going on that he doesn't realize and this room is the dirtiest I have ever seen

However through it all it is cool to have the oppurtunity to serve him as Christ served his people. That previous paragraph may seem like a lot of complaining but I find a beautiful analogy of it all in service to fellow humans beings who can't do stuff. Anyways though I was listening to trains come through the campus the other day and it is amazing with what percision they come. I was thinking of that as a metaphor for the christian walk though that although we may not progress very fast we still are progressing and we make a lot of noise when we go through anywhere and are oftentimes inconvienent to others. We need to stop making noise. One thing I learned last night is that Jesus did not start his ministry until he was filled with the holy spirit. We need to be filled before we do anything.

I see another problem though as in the case of my roomate. Ppeople refuse to let go of their laziness and remember those desires and those things they want out of lives and let that influence them. This generation is lazy. I find though that, that very truth, is very true within me. I keep coming to the first time in my christian walk where I refuse to trust God wholly in things and although a good place to be where I realize my motives are unpure I find myself altogether lacking because I am lazy. That is the horrible thing about christianity today although it seems to be doing so much we are lazy. We are lazy to actually work hard and diligently. We can't find a smile on our face because we refuse to dare to believe the hard stuff. God is good. God is soverign. I am procrastinating as I write because I am so amazed at God and what he is doing here and I am altogether disgusted with myself and the only redeeming quality within me is the holy spirit. That's the way it should be though. God is the only one that is good! He is so good. We are having a campuswide prayer week where we will be praying non stop for seven days next week devoted to revival in the hearts of the belivers here. I am excited for what is to come. I need to get back to my homework and the massive load I have to do this weekend but know God is sovereign and so totally amazing. Sorry this seems jumbled i will try and get things sorted out in my mind before I write again cause seriouslky all this chaos is not good.

JG

The Cross( by Faith)

I have oftentimes stared at the cross looking for some deep meaning to it but unable to grasp that...to say I have some understanding, I do not and fully udnerstand it fully but I am begining to grasp it.

My friend and I decided to hike up to the top of the mountain that has the Cal Poly P on it. We found a cross at the top there and we lifted it up and placed it in its proper place. I would love to say that something whithin me changed big time. I think that happened last night though...I'll get to that later anyways though as we lifted that cross up for all to see on top of that mountian I realized something...some deep meaning. The cross, the reason it exists and the circumstances around it had to be done because of our lack of faith. I keep finding that there is power in the triune God head but even in believing it to be infinite...I have underestimated it. As all those meanings of it circle in my head i am reminded of My friend and I sharing the work in restoring the cross to where it should be...for all to see. You can see it from campus...it is so beautiful.

We as christians are called to have faith as Hebrew 11 talks about to do all things by faith and through faith. If we are not going to believe in those things that seem crazy that is not an echo of the cross at all, we are not remembering how signifigant it is how much powe rthere was in the death of a above all else holy high priest. It is an echo of as romans talks about men worshiping the creature rather than the creator. Do we believe we have so much potential. If only those who boast in themselves would know that God desires a realationship with them. One of power, of peace, of hope, of joy, of mercy, of tears, and of love above all else. I look around me and understand that man is so ignorant, but they cannot be any more things are changing here and things are changing in the world God is ready all we need do is ask.


My prayers are moving pointing towards something quite different than anything I have experienced before and it is quite different and quite amazing all at the same time. I don't pray for things to be done I pray for things to get done. Praying and depending upon the spirit which resides within me to begin to pour out. At first to three or four people and beyond that it will grow but for now I am going to pour out into three men in particular in my close knit friends. I model my actions only after the man who boar that cross. May that cross as long as it stands on that mountain remind this school of that radical cross which Jesus bore for us and no one else. As I asked for last night that my faith would be whole. May it be.
JG

Cities on Water's Blue and Residences on Hill's Green

I don't have much time tonight in fact I probably do but I need to devote it to other things. But for those of you who were wondering yes I am still designing stuff it just is slow and I've only been at it for three weeks so a city and a house will do I guess for that amount of time. Anyways though I wanted to note and tell everyone that I think I am understanding physics and calc for the first time not because of me but because of my teachers. I was thinking though that Jesus is our teacher and it is not because of ourselves that we do good but rather because he is teaching us how to be like him and do good. I thought that was cool anyways I am off hope to write soon, but its good to know my words don't do God justice at all. He's so amazing.
JG

Photoshoped

Well Let's just say for the first time in a long while I don't feel overwhelmed. That's a good feeling! Anyways though I learned something about work and mentality that I thought I should probably post here. I learned do your work after you have the class make it your first priority and then when you have other things to do you can focus on those things wholly. The thing about that word is that we as christians should be devoted to things wholly as revelation talks about let your yes be yes and your no be no. We should devote ourselves wholly to things do everything with excellence. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me for the next four years but the thing is I honestly don't think it is going to be too much of a challenge. I have God by my side what else would I need? The thing is if I be diligent and don't procrastinate and do every little thing I do to get this degree with excellence it will be enjoyable! I like feeling on top of things, it's such a good feeling!
Anyways I was thinking though about photoshop and since I have had some extra time on my hands this quarter I have learned that when we have that time we have time to make things excellent and beautiful. Needless to say I'm realizing I am more of a graphic artist than anything and I really like that. I like what God's doing within me, he is definately the best artist of all and all my reativity comes from him. That's all I got let me just say though that God is moving in extraordinary ways here and he's only begining! If I were to even begin describing it here I could not do God justice at all cause he is so amazing and these mere words I write are pathtic at best. Til we chat at a later time.
JG

Meddling in Spiritual Things

I got the oppurtunity to buy Narnia today and I watched it for the second time and once again just like the first time I saw it, Mr C. S. Lewis spoke to me so incredibly, it was God speaking through his writing but it was incredible.

My sister stated a long time ago that C.S. Lewis knew more about God than hardly anyone else in history. I think she is probably right! He knew more about prophecy than many men knew, or he either just alllowed God to control him unaware. I won't go into all of it here, but the thing is that God is quite amazing and especially the plan that he allows us to participate in. I wonder a lot of times like Peter in the story how am I supposed to lead this army on my own. Everyone trusts me around me, but I don't trust myself, it's true. I know myself well enough to know that everyday God continues to get larger in my mind as the awarnesss of my sin grows exponentially.


I will not be attending church in the morning and on that subject I am not going to join a church! Or the common sense of church. I am going to get involved with a church on campus known as Campus Crusade for Christ. And then I have my Sunday Celebration for my worshiping through song.

Tonight I also got the chance to talk to one of the guys in my bible study who wants so passionately to follow Christ but the fact that he has only been a christian for a year dissapoints him because he wants so much more. Don't limit God he isn't, he is earnestly seeking God. My prayer for him tonight is that he would find that more that he is looking for...I think that is what all of us are looking for. We are looking for a life that will be as captivating as the story of Narnia. One full of prophecy, full of weapons, battles, sacrifice, love, passion, healing, redemption, and power. I want this world to know Christ and I am looking forward to all the stuff because I know God is going to give it to me if I ask. I desire to be a fully surrendered being. Nothing is going to stop me!

On Starbucks, Friendships, and Self Sacrifice

As I continue to develop relationships with all these guys in the hall and my future roomates I am amazed to find how little people actually know how to develop realationships with other men on a deeper level. I was having a talk with a guy last week about what has been going on in regards towards his feelings toward his roomate. The things was I was having the same problem, these two guys had trouble with wanting everything so nice that they were missing out on life. They were too busy planning things that they missed out on building deep realtionships. They were too busy wanting things for themeselves that they didn't spend time just doing nothing, enjoying life. I was thinking though that this issue is very common in our society we are so afraid to self sacrifice. So afraid to develop these deep realatioships.

My architecture class had a two hour debate on coffee yesterday and how starbucks has commercialized this beautiful italian idea of sitting and enjoying life and doing nothing. The thing is though we have made this beutiful thing stressful. You have to wait in line in the morning and deal with not being happy. On those same lines though people need people we can't be all alone all the time, we need to be with people. I got the oppurtunity last quarter to just sit and be with a friend of mine, not many words were spoken but just knowing someone is there is such a welcome relief, how many of us would really drop everything to just sit and be with a friend. I think that is real friendship where you sacrifice what you have for others laying down your life in the model of Christ for others.

I don't have many other thoughts than that but this. What would a christian community look like if we all would stop being so dang selfish and sacrifice ourselves for others behalf because Christ loved us first? I wait to see...
JG

Things are beginning to Crack

Broken earth, parched landscape
dusty wilderness, hopeless shape

The ground is for the first time being drenched
his people begin to pray, the land is fed

And it was all so cleverly orchestrated
and so beautifully executed
The plan laid out before the dawn of time
This generation, this rhythm and rhyme

a flower begins to grow reaching higher
till the fullness of beauty, from the skilled gardener

green growth, drenching rains, sadness and passing of time
clouds break, heaven sings, angels dance, tis the time

Beauty unspeakable, truth undeniable
amazing splendor, majesty indescribable

JG

Rain

I was sitting in my friend friend's room and I couldn't help having my mind drift off with the soft trickle of rain drops falling outside. I guess I have always associated rain with healing being from the dessert of Colorado.However I had never associated it with sadness but in a place where everything is supposed to be so sunny it is so sad how the past can all of the sudden bring sadness and how rain can bring back those thoughts. I'm fine but certain people around me especially that friend whose room I was in I am powerless to help him. The fault is mine.

I got the chance to lead worship in the manner that I did while I was in highschool for an evening of prayer. And I realized one thing I had never realized I am very selfish. I am very lazy. I am afraid of what God has for me. I am in sin in so many areas. The night being defvoted to prayer was an interesting thing especially having me lead worship slash set the "mood for it" because I myself had been restling with the idea of prayer since last quarter. If God knows then why pray I asked? The thing is though that is selfish because we are saying in essence we are not going to sit and listen( we put our will above Gods), and we arn't saying those things that God knows we will. I said to my mom over break prayer is for us, and perhaps God has a bigger plan than even our prayers." If only I listened to myself more often. I so often put up this facade of being hey I can talk the talk but the walk is not there. That is pride. Prayer is for us, because we are so rotten at the core,the problem is we don't give God our time. I was giving God my time last quarter but the right motivation was not there. And although that F is still going to have repercutions in the future and although I hate that I got it God has used it in weird extraordinary ways. Once again I am simply oustounded how God continues to make everything fit together so wonderfully and so not our way it's awesome!

Yet back to the rain, this sadness that seems to be stuck here with, these clouds still looms in my mind. I said that night I lead worship in one of my prayers thank you for the rain God, cause it was such a blessing to play with the trickle of rain drops and worship God through prayer. Yet how now I am so unwilling to do those things that God asks, Fri NIght I was so thankful but now I am not, because it hurts a little for me this rain cloud that seems to have positioned itself over SLO, how retarded am I. I feel like Paul gaining so much ground for God but having so much more to go. I really don't know. All I can do is trust that God is working through everything around me, he has always, I have no reason to doubt he would change his character all of the sudden. All I need do is take the time and pray and be still before God . I must listen to what he wants me to do. I must. This sadness surrounds me and it is our responsibility as christians to be so in touch with the will of God that we are acurate representations of who he was. I am ashamed how there is nothing radical anymore about the cross. It was the most radical thing in human history!

JG

Project #1 of the quarter

Decideing

Decisions are hard, but they are the basis on which we build our lives on. God and I had a little duking about a certain decision I was going to make. God like always won and I am going to do this thing he is telling me to do. The thing is though my heart is not in it fully , that scares me, I desire for my heart to be in the right place but when it comes down to it I am exhausted. I've written several songs with that phrase in it, I"m exhausted. However I don't think that is really what it is it is more of a I'm yearning for more and longing for someday when my will will align with God's perfectly and we can be one. It's a rough state to be in but the thing is it is rewarding beyond anything serving Christ. It's tough work but it is the only work that means anything. I learned something that I am realizing more and more lately. We must be happy in our circumstance but also we must take joy in even the little things like doing homework and serving God with an eternal picture rather than not waiting on his time at all. I was reading this verse yesterday in Leveiticus and it struck me( " By those who come near Me I will be treated as holy, and before all people I will be honored" So Aaron, therefore kept silent) -lev 10:3 We need to just shut up sometimes and listen to God telling us that he is a jealous God and requires faithful servents. I must admit I have not been a faithful servent all the time. I think when it boils down to it I was never really faitful I just served the one who had been faithful to me all those years. The thing is though I realized we must wait on God's timing in everything and although allthough it doesn't really look like it is the best timing with our perception of timing it always turns out to be.
Another thing that struck me was a phrase from St. Augustine's confessions "Thou changest thy ways, leaving thy plans unchanged" I think what he is trying to get it that prayer is somehow a way to change not necessarily the heart of God but rather his" heart" in the sense of our heart that he will change his way of doing things to meet those prayers of those he loves, but in so doing He is big enough to make that not affect the" plans" God has. I think his plans is the story of salvation Jesus, prophecy and all the like. That will never change. We don't serve a God who doesn't want to act on the sinners behalf. However we do have a God that is one of wrath and justice. He is grieved, and he is delighted. If we grieve Him He is less likely to work. That is why righteous mens prayers are more powerful. And that is why prayer is not in a good condition these days. The sin that we refuse to let go is seperating our communication with God and it is out faults. I heard the phrase once the glory of God, is man fully alive. I don't think it is the perfect phrase by any means. But when God is glorified it is when man is fully alive and acting and being glourious to God. We must obey. We must submit. And we must surrender all. Whether we're exhausted or not. It is what a righteous God demands. Suck it up, there are better things to come than what this world has to offer!
JG

A Bloggers Time of Silence

Illumination of Fragmented thoughts


During lent I took the oppurtunity to not blog on what was then myspace doing it only for myself. These are those posts.

I have been taking time over the past two weeks to not let you guys see little tid bits of what God is doing but rather see what happens over the course of two weeks for the Kingdom of God here at CalPoly By not blogging about things but rather so you might see God’s attack not through my eyes but your eyes. The interesting thing is, is as I sit in this airport and I think about all God has done particularly in me I want to sit here in silence and simply be still in the captivating presence known as Christ.

Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.
2 Timothy 2:16

Within Me



Lately God has done a great work in me, he made me realize who I am and how truly horrible the flesh is that lives inside of me. But most importantly he did something unexpected he allowed me to backslide into sin in order that I might know that I am nothing apart from Him. The thing is I am not who I am because of me and although I have every right according to this world’s standards to be prideful because of the gifts and talents God has graced upon me. All that belongs to God I am no longer my own and it is Christ who comes through this body when I speak and when I have this joy and peace about me. It is Christ alone who can transform the heart and the mind. To change the heart though you must first accept in the mind.

Without love unforgiving slanderous without self control brutal not lovers of good treacherous rash conceited lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
-Job 42: 6



Opportunity



Another thing that has been happening within me is the realization that I don’t have to take every opportunity to point towards Christ. I will realize and make that more and more true every day because I love Christ but it is not because I somehow fit into God’s cosmic plan, in the area that I am to do something and it is because of me. This goes back to the whole learning that I am nothing apart from Christ because the thing is that God works in spite of sin he has held the church together for two millennia. He uses non Christians oftentimes just as much as he does with Christians the thing is though that they will not get a reward because good works don’t get someone into heaven self sacrificing loving heart condition for the sake of Christ gets you into heaven. Loving God enough to give up everything you are and crucify who you are. It is about Christ and it is about the Glory of the Father and the indwelling spirit taking control.
What if we as Christians didn’t speak of God and didn’t take any of the opportunities relying solely on the Holy Spirit for the movement and work. It says that the very rocks would cry out. Jesus will be proclaimed any way no matter what we as Christians do. Yet as to what God chooses to move through most I have no idea how to answer that question and I am forced once again to God’s word and the character of Jesus. We are to be like Jesus and he was never alone but he never was solely with non-christians but he devoted a lot of his time to his parents ten times as much as the ministry years. I am going to gander to say that I am going to take the stance as Jesus did to let God be glorified and not myself by not doing anything and taking every opportunity but I am going to bless those people around me through who Christ has made me into.

-Now when I came to Troas for the gospel of Christ and when a door was opened for me in the lord, I had no rest for my soul not finding Titus, but taking my leave of them I went on to Macedonia
-2 Corinthians 2:2

Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did
-1 John 2:6

I know that you can do all things ; no plan of yours can be thwarted You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
-Job 42:2-6


Someone Older and Wiser



I think this year has been the first one I have really learned to respect older people for the incredible wisdom they hold. But perhaps the prospect now that I have an older Christian guy who is going to pour himself into discipiling me is by far some of the best news I have had in the last couple weeks. I need that so desperately because being stuck in a college town it is ironic that although we are “so” aware of things we keep ourselves in a bubble and don’t really don’t know what is going on in the world. That’s stupid. We need older people to interaqct with or we all come up with the same ideas.

Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.
2 Timothy 2:16

-Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the lord and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes fear the lord and shun evil.
-Proverbs 3( the whole thing is amazing)


The Prophecy that lies within me





My dreams have been disturbed as of late much like Job the things I have seen are too lofty for mine eyes and I am reduced to dust. I am glad this will not be posted for another couple weeks because the thing is I am nothing and God is so amazing. I fear if this were posted on this day, the day that I write, I would receive glory for knowing, but I mention it hear to praise God so that I might know later on that God is so magnificent that he cares enough to let a sinner like me on his lofty things. As I awoke a couple nights ago the playboy poster fell down it has remained down to this day almost a month later. God showed me that sin will no longer reign in this room but will be torn down and we will trample over it. This room is for the conquerors those who have accepted and will accept Christ. Faith will almost be destroyed in this country but then it will come alive once again this is the time that God speaks of the last stage of the church when we no longer submit to sin and no longer let it reign in our mortal bodies.

No Idea




So I haven’t really sat down for a while to blog or I guess I would call it here a clog(computer log) since it is not on the web. So as I sit here cloging I am constantly reminded that humans are lazy. I am a really lazy individual. I have one more thing to study for and I need to get motivated. So I can pass calc. However it is good to forget that solitude and rest are necessities but also are real deep relationships with one another. We need to balance things. Because God doesn’t call us to a live a life that we are comfortable with but rather one that is outside that which is comfortable. I’m really excited to go home!!!
JG

A prayer of Thanks



I want to say thanks to the God who has always been there when I needed him the most. One who gives me strength to fight and continue on. I want to say thanks most of all for the realationships that I have with some of the guys here and I ask your forgiveness when my thoughts are not aligned with yours and this flesh takes over. Thanks you for the peace that comes with that though. You are truly a God who cares and is there for me when I need you to be there for me. Thank you for the shaking of the Earth about to come. Thank you for using me a sinner…

I am taking time to be still
To let the emotions unravel
Finnaly dealing with whats been going on

Haven’t been myself
I am no longer fully alive
More silence makes this heart ache

I know what is needed though
To bring about what you have planned
I am willing to be ok with that

However somehow I am not
And this conflict
Could it be simply to yield

Will it ever be easy
I don’t believe it will
I will always need to be made perfect

And I…all these thoughts
Amidst them
There is peace

2 and a half weeks



I just realized it has been quite a substantial time since I simply blogged for other people and it just dawned on me that God uses my blogs in extraordinary ways because that is why he gives me insight often times. It so happens that as I go further and further away from that God doesn’t give insight on that big of a scale. I wonder if that is the same way with me not doing worship. The thing I think I realized today is that when we take the initiative to do things that we don’t have or don’t think we can do God blesses us if we trust. I have thought more and more recently that I am not supposed to be the worship guy in the next couple years but the thing is that when I trust in God I can do all things. Colin said something a couple days ago that has bugged my heart a little bit the fact that we missed out on things because we haven’t had the prayer group. I think that is probably true because honestly we didn’t show God that that was an important thing. I know God used me not doing it for a while to reveal a few things and I know that his plan will still be accomplished.
It is interesting though, because we as Christians although we screw up so much we never will…odd. Aaron tonight said another interesting thing that moved my heart don’t try to be better…get out of the way and yield to the power that you have within you. We need to just get out of the way. And this is why I am deciding to let this blog be posted because I can’t stand not being in tune with God’s plans I will post all my other writings at a different time but until then this will suffice.
For those who don’t know Christ as a personal savior you need Him, so desperate is your need and you don’t even realize it. Actually you probably do but you choose to satisfy it in other ways that don’t bring fulfillment. Christ is all you need for all the joy and all the satisfaction in your life. Let go to this life that you so desperately cling to. And for us as Christians let go of believing in your own power…yield.

In Accordance

I’m sitting here at the San Francisco listening to what I would call the greatest music in the whole world…Reuben Morgan. I am pretty obsessed with him right now. Anyways though… San Francisco is a very different place than LA. You probably are saying no duh. Seriously though, California is full of very interesting people both in LA and also in SF. The thing is though I set out this trip to figure out why is there such a rivalry between them so I decided to simply listen on the plane ride to San Francisco no music no listening just sitting and soaking it all in as I often avoid with my ipod. I came to some really interesting conclusions about people here.
We had one gay man who met his friend coincidentally to the right of me across the aisle. He said the gods had blessed him. I would call that a blessing because he got the chance to spend a plane ride talking about what he wanted to talk about and being honest with another guy about who he was. We bottle up our emotions and hide who we truly are too often. In his case it is not necessarily the best way I would look at blessed but definitely God does bless people, he does love him.

Another interesting thing that I was thinking about my mom said today that of any churches she had been apart of the one they currently attend is plagued more than any with financial problems and health problems. One thing is certain they are either doing something incredibly right and that is spiritual warfare or they are doing something terribly wrong. I think it is probably the first though because all the people that have been sick have had life changing ministries for hundreds of people. I have reason because of this and other evidence that the deeper life of Christianity is not always one full of blessings like the gay guy seems to be experiencing but rather it is one where the world is going to hate Christians who are experiencing the deep life and acting in accordance to what they have learned. Yah that sounds great doesn’t it? I keep on coming back to the fact that we are in a battle and Christianity is not an easy thing to do. No duh again. But work with me here…

The thing is though I cannot exactly explain why certain people have better circumstances than others. Why did I get stuck in front of two kids that were loud and kicking when I had decided to sit through the flight just sitting there and the gay guy got to sit next to one of his good friends by coincidence. I’m not jealous of him because I know God uses my circumstances to shape me and I am jealous of no one because I get the chance to walk where my spirit has prepared before me. I can’t ask for anything more. One thought I had though I know that at least the way the Christian community has treated people like him God is probably wrapping his arm around that guy saying I love you so much…that is what we see as blessing. I don’t want material blessing but rather for Christ to wrap his arm around me…he has already done that but I want more. I always want more hopefully one day I will reach that peak and then the more will be more than I could ever dream or imagine. That is what God is in the business of doing.

Pastor Jeff brought up the point that we as Christians are so easy to point out all those apparent problems but we are so prone to skip certain issues like worry. Sin is sin and not having faith is sin. I see that God is blessing me when I still have sin in my life, what is stopping him from blessing others who have more or even less. I don’t think we should be so prone to think ourselves better than others but rather in everything act in accordance to the servant hood that Christ poured out towards us when he made himself human and allowed himself to be killed. We should be willing to bless people no matter what sin they are in. Who are we to say who gets the blessing? Who are we to judge? That is God’s role our role is to act impartially and live in accordance to the knowledge we have gained and the knowledge we have been given. We live in an age where we know a whole lot more than any other time about the bible and archeology and everything that “proves” Christianity to be true but why are we not any better than any other generation? I don’t know. We need to act in accordance. We must.