Familiar...just enough to be in awe

"But you have come to Mount Zion,
to the heavenly Jerusalem,
the city of the living God.
You have come to thousands upon thousands
of angels in joyful assembly,
to the church of the firstborn,
whose names are written in heaven.
You have come to God,
the judge of all men,
to the spirits of righteous men made perfect,
to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant,
and to the sprinkled blood that speaks
a better word than the blood of Abel.
See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks.
If they did not escape when they refused
him who warned them on earth,
how much less will we,
if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven?
At that time his voice shook the earth,
but now he has promised,
'Once more I will shake not only the earth
but also the heavens.'
The words once more indicate the removing
of what can be shaken—that is, created things—
so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
Therefore, since we are receiving
a kingdom that cannot be shaken,
let us be thankful,
and so worship God acceptably
with reverence and awe,
'for our God is a consuming fire.'"

-Hebrews 12:22-29
JG

Da Hood

How do you begin to attempt to summarize God's moving in a particular area? How do you accuratley say all that God is doing without a thousand words? And how do you put God into a finite box when He doesn't fit into one?

YOU CAN'T DO IT, it is impossible without showing people God himself, the very face .

I long so desperatley tonight to ,as with my life, give God glory, to try and recount a remarkable work of God in the city of Compton, to show people who God is. I know most certainly though, that I will fail to give God the Glory He more than certainly deserves. I will most certainly fail to show people who my God is because He is huge. I imagine that although this may do God a grave injustice, my words do not define my God He defines Himself. I choose to write because I will still minister to some, because I know this heart burns to recount and worship through my rags that I offer my King. I am truly nothing in comparision to my God, to my sweet Jesus. Nothing in comparision to the Spirit that moves through me.

So as normal I will write...INCOMPLETE and UNPERFECT.

I got the blessing to go down to Compton, CA this spring break...to dance with broken and hurting children, experience unbelievable true fellowship, have misconceptions shattered, plant seeds,encourage others, ball it up, walk dangerous streets, fall more and more in love with Jesus, eat great mexican food, learn about culture, do behind the scenes ministry, and show an unloved people love. I count every moment an incredible experience.

I sit tonight at this computer and have very little or nothing to say about this week or in general because I have found myself in perfect peace and in perfect love with the one that made me. I am in love one might say. Nothing matters but Jesus and I.

But I remember tonight that we are called to many things in the christian faith and I am called to write... so I will turn this love into writing...

This week was incredible...

I remember this week being amazed at the people God blessed this trip with, and I caught a glimpse that I have not had for a long while into the very face of God. I saw sparks in peoples eyes being kindled and becoming raging fires.

I remember this week being astounded by the faith of woman who were mightly bold and strong in the Lord whose prayers are protecting and changing a city.

I remember this week being caught up in the rhythm of the divine dancing with broken and hurting children, seeing glimpses of heaven.

I remember this week truth being proclaimed in every form and fashion within the body of believers. Walls being torn down. Hearts being softened by God's very touch.What God wanted in community from the begining.

I remember this week and I will not forget that the God of Compton reigns. What we percieve from afar is not what we see when we take a deeper look.There is a greater need for our hearts to be as God would have and fashion us.The 95%

I remember this week the 5%.

I remember this week that God can completly make what is old new.That much bigger things are in store for those who love and believe. That I serve a God that is God of ALL.

JG

Overtake Me

Damn this senseless direction!
Stare me in the eyes and show me
how your tears still drip misery

Return to me
…that I may return to you

A rope measuring your heart
sings the harmony
“OVERTAKE ME “

Return to me
…that I may return to you

Anesthetic numbs this core
Still I miss you so, still you miss me so
Stare me in the eyes and say it isn’t so

A rope measuring your heart
sings the harmony
“OVERTAKE ME “

I sing…OVERTAKE ME
JG

More than simply doing

I have been recently struck by some thoughts. Bible reading, prayer, other book reading, and massive amounts of "God waving his arms at me" has given rise to the thoughts that are about to be written and penned. I pray you would consider them well and let the spirit do His work in you with the message below.

"Another type of religous leader must arise amoung us. He must be of the old prophet type, a man who has seen visions from the throne. When he comes( and I pray God there be not one but many,) he will stand in flat contradiction to everything our smirking, smooth generation holds dear. He will contradict, denounce, and protest in the name of God and will earn the hatred and opposition of a large segment of Christendom. Such a man is likely to be lean, rugged, blunt-spoken and a little bit angry with the world. He will love Christ and the souls of men to the point of willingness to die for the glory of the One and the salvation of the other. He will fear nothing that breathes with mortal breath. "
-Tozer

I said in my last blog "With events that are to happen that will showcase God's power over the next few years we need to stop... God will show himself to an unbelieving generation and for the first time in a long while they will begin to turn accepting the baptism and embracing belief. But it can't be anything we as christians piece together for them!" I still stand by that thought. We need to get out of the way and stop doing .We need to have everything be an overflow of the heart nothing less than that is God's design. I know all the ways a church could be "succesful" in the eyes of many in Christendom and I know what I could do to help a church achieve that. But I choose not to for a time because that is not the point. Perhaps in so doing I may be a catalyst for change? I certainly do hope so.Until the time I begin to once again overflow I am working on the foundation of all things that go big, the heart. The only thing that matters. "For who has despised the day of the small things"-Zechariah 4:10.As I write about over and over again it boils down to YOU AND JESUS. When we get that right we are given keys to the kingdom and step into something far greater than anything anyone has seen in this lifetime. . God delights when we simply delight in Him. We were foremost created to worship, we need always have that at the forefront of our mind. IT IS ALL ABOUT JESUS .

There are many tendencys within Christendom that I do in part despise. But one above all is that our days do not need the same old thing that we, christendom, have tried and failed at. We need to get to the heart of the issue, the heart. I know that when the God of the universe is aroused from his Holy habitation the flesh is silenced and wonderful things start to happen( Zecharaiah 2:13.) God is aroused by his servants being aroused there hearts longing for God himself this is often showcased by the doing but it is never about simply doing. God is on the move and is being aroused as we speak moving in huge ways in many areas of the world not by action but by heart. I want God to be aroused in our country, God does not have me here for some small thing. I will not let him do small things around me and as much as it is in my power to make sure of that I will influence things. He deserves all things all worship and all praise.

I read things like "Return to me...that I may return to you." ( Zechariah 1:3) and I read things like" He who has believed and been baptized...will lay hands on the sick and they will recover(Mark 16:16-18)." And I understand for once why I doubt and many doubt. It is because we as Christians are not doing all that God says for us to do . We are not taking the first step. He will not return, be aroused if you will, in our lives unless we take the first step. I beg I plead I pray for that to happen but ultimately it is up to the individual to open up the doors and say "my dearest Lord, come into my house lets fix what is broken between us."

Deal with it and fix it! It is most certainly worth fixing...

Until that though my heart will echo this song:

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning
Bricks to this old house are breaking
Steel would have weathered
But now forlorning
It's alarming how loud the silence screams
No warn, no warn, no warning

Addictions fill the table where the family used to sit
And conversate, conversate to the sounds
To the sounds of a record player
With it's jumping needle
And the lights that grow dim over time

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive

Are you where you thought you'd be
So beautiful and only twenty-three
Opposition rests in the hearts
With no, with no, with no opportunity
It's not that we don't talk
I'ts just no one really listens

And honesty fades
Like a politician lost in the course
All smiles and no one remembers our names

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything I say anymore
In the morn, in the morning

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
-Anberlin



I love you all dearly,
JG

On the conclusion of Mark

So here I am. I sit here in the same chair.I write from the same computer.Still at the same desk. Yet amidst all this same it seems the spiritual season is hinting at changing. It's like one of those movies where leaves are blowing off the trees, gently falling as you walk under them. The wind sweetly blowing against your face. And the perfect score is playing as backround music as if some wonderful journey is about to begin. Such a wonderful thing about to begin.

I have often wrote about the quarter at this time... trying to leave it behind bulletpoint it, categorize it and find the answer to what each quarter was about..and then move on. As If I could pin down all the subtlies all the teaching all the shaping God has done. I would do God a great injustice if I were to speak and do as I have done in the past. I feel no need to do any of that anymore. Each season boils down to the knowledge God is God, unchanging, ever good, ever wonderful, and ever true. Beyond that very little needs to be said about each season besides the showcase of who God is.

I finished Mark today and I was amazed to find that Mark's last four or so chapters are simply a chronology of events. They differ greatly from the rest of the book and read much like a history book. As did Mark and Peter the writers of the gospel of Mark I see the importance of merely stating things as they are for certain things. With events that are to happen that will showcase God's power over the next few years we need to stop speculating and merely write as things are. God will show himself to an unbelieving generation and for the first time in a long while they will begin to turn accepting the baptism and embracing belief. But it can't be anything we as christians piece together for them!

There's the utmost necessity for the individual to meet God individually and for a heart change to happen within the individual. In a lot of ways we need to get out of the way and let the spirit work. Taking the oppurtunity to embrace every oppurtunity to share the good news...because we are still hands and feet mind you. But we must be ever mindful that prayer is the only thing that will change the unbelieving heart and get rid of the spirits that bind belief In Jesus and the baptism from taking place. Prayer is the muscle that opens the clammy heart.

I was reminded today as I was finishing up Mark that there is an understanding and a knowledge that needs to be within the children of God about Daddy's business and what He has worked to do over not just our short stay on Earth but over the history of mankind. We as people need to understand the propecy of the old testament and need to know how it is going to be applied to our time. For most that means understanding the new testament first and who Jesus was and who He is. We need to be reading our bibles more, not for the sake of doing but because our heart wants to because our God is God, unchanging, ever good, ever wonderful, and ever true.

I plead here as well as in my prayers that we would be a generation known for our hearts...not our actions alone. There is so much that appears to be good in the world...not all of it truly is. But a heart that is pure and has right intentions that is beautiful before the Lord and naturally flows driven only by love...that speaks far louder and resounds. May we have that heart.

EPHATHA!

JG

Rise

In the morning he will rise
…a heart defeated
Before the world wakes
…may he sing to you my King

With golden pains reflected in this glass
More unbearable with each moment
Surrounding me this momentary aloneness
If only…he would fall apart before You

Fighting for so long
A war that rages in his heart…

When I rise in the evening
… necessity to wake
When I can’t fall back to sleep
…Your spirit moving

Before the world wakes
…may he sing to you my King

with golden pains reflected in this glass
that’s all surrounding me
…he cries

Around he goes… another day
Another endless cycle

These things he grasps in his hands
The road ahead
This hour
This feeling

To simply fall apart in Your arms
And be embraced

Do not forget these momentary tears
And cease from wiping all of them away

Find this one...he cries

DA QUARTA

Actually the picture above does not represent the quarter at all. I am begining to think God gave me a sabbath this quarter for some odd reason, obviously necessary for me but the question still lingers why? Why did I have so much time this quarter and why did I learn so much this quarter and what are the purposes of circumstance and lessons? Guess we'll see!!! I thought I should for all those who tune in show you what I did this quarter...not much but still I am in college and it is nice for those who arn't here with me to see I am actually doing "something." ENJOI!


FINAL PROJECT: redesign the section of campus around sandwhich factory. Make it into a cafe and gallery that is built around daylighting, dynamic vertical circulation, and the functional uses of a gallery and cafe.







9 SQUARE MATRIX: Create 9 8x8" squares tied together using chings design principles. Employing different complexities of space through the use of walls, planes, and overhead elements.



DAYLIGHTING: Create a model that is designed around daylight



PIRANESI: Create a really big pencil drawing expanding one of piranesi's etchings 6x or larger



CASE STUDY SCHEMATIC DRAWINGS: basically do a detail, and a wall in construction drawing detail



THAT'S ALL SLEEP WELL ALL!
JG

a longer journey, yet

As of late there has been a deeper joy that has begun to take over my countenance.Likewise, as of late there is also a deeper pain that has begun to take over my countenance. It is odd to smile even in the midst of tears and knowing this is deeper than before , but yet there remains still something deep within that is rippling because the source has come near: my God, my Father's comfort, forever joy and peace. These are my thoughts meddled with tears and joy.

As I said in my last blog I have been making my way through Mark and have been amazed as to what fruit it is bearing and the very things Jesus Himself says . But to speak honestly, frankly and candidly here there is some, more a lot of ,really troubling thoughts that come when I read through the book. Like for instance all throughout the book Jesus says " do not proclaim the miracle I have just done for you." what? He also says if we believe anything can be done...it will be done. What's wrong with us that this isn't happening? Why did Jesus take this tactic to ministry? Do we not even know our own God? All this troubles me deeply that there are seldom in the pages of history accounts of christianity working the way it was supposed to originally.

For many this would be the point where they are like " this whole God Jesus being man thing I'm over it." But the thing is over the years I have come to know my God in an intimate way and to understand the way He moves and His intents. He is not predictable by any means, He surprises and amazes me all the time by who he is. The thing is though He never proclaims himself beyond what he needs to and doesn't desire to be proclaimed because He desires our heart more than anything else.

Through a lot of really sucky friendships around me as of late I have come to realize that we as a culture and as a time period suck at being nice. People are not nice, they don't love and they don't care for one another. Argue all you want with this one, but if you have even a sense of perspective and truth within you you'll see this. Take for instance housemates in a lot of cases, they will not go into each others rooms and say hello for some reason, mainly because they don't think about it. People are seperated by a wall both physicallly and metaphorically for some odd reason and what troubles me is the thoughts of trouble arn't there they are covered up. You can seldom find a person that loves in the way that Jesus loved . You can seldom find someone who is going to have things like friendship come naturally. I doubt as well you can find someone who has things flow from them naturally, that is a major bummer. Because the bible tells me what Jesus' intent through all that he taught was for that to happen. And when I read things like Mark 11:26 which says if you don't forgive and love all the Father will not forgive you. And see pictures of Jesus in the garden praying and sweating blood because he is troubled by the fact we are not one I am deeply troubled . We need to get this whole love and intent thing down and we need to deal with the heart just like Jesus was doing and deal with why the heart isn't bringing forth streams naturally.

Ministry shouldn't be a forced thing that is why Jesus had it on the down low because he wanted it to ripple naturally out from Himself and not be a forced thing. Love that is forced is not real love.

The thing is we are sinful people, yes, duh! We all knew that when we said yes to Jesus. But did we become stagnant there? I think a lot of us have. We have fallen from the original design and arn't really working to get back to the original design... we have fallen away from reading and hearing God's words, from talking via Jesus to the Father through prayer. We are a generation so far gone and it deeply troubles me to find us this far gone. Something needs to change and it starts with the heart.Where intentions flow naturally and we take time to deal with what is going on within ourselves this weed of sin and stagnacity that has reaked havoc in our garden.

I have seen a lot of good effort put toward remedying this and that is in part the source of my growing joy . But as 1 thess talks about aim for more still " when we claim we are without sin, we make God out to be a lier." Some of you just don't get it.
My prayers are with you all, that God would begin with the individual and it flow to the masses.I don't care necessarily about my joy but make His joy complete by being of the same mind and letting our ministry be known by love. Remember it is all about Your heart.

"You shall love the Lord YOUR God with all YOUR heart and with all YOUR soul and with all YOUR mind and with all YOUR strength and the second is this you shall love YOUR neighbor as YOURself."( EMPHASIS ADDED PLEASE NOTE IT! )
Mark 12: 30-33

Know I love you all dearly so much. Do not neglect the longer journey, the road is still worth the travel.
JG

... in the Night

Tonight I stand by the ocean...

Where Light breaks this silence

beneath my feet
Ripples
Waves captured by light

Darkness that would hide the power
Yet still the ocean ripples
And in the fullest of time
There is sanctity of the night

Flicker of moonlight
reflection
captured here in this moment

here in the vastness

Where Light breaks this silence

JG

frustration

It is odd what inspires us, what gets us to hoot and holler, what make us cry tears, feel pain, etc. I was recently reminded by a movie that we are a generation far far gone. That phrase cannot be understated and to say I know it deepest meaning I cannot say.

I come, honestly tonight to my computer being frustrated with the male christian community. Actually honestly I don't know what I am frustrated about. I am probably frustrated with myself for not being the leader I need to be. I am frustrated with the way God crafted me uniquely. I am frustrated with sin, the human condition, etc.

But before I go to bed I want to type something out, and I don't believe this only to benifit me in the typing. We as Christian men are supposed to understand what inspires us and makes us move, we must learn how to wield a sword and wield it correctly or we will never learn and take hold of what is there for us.

JG

Scribes, Engagements, and Immediacy

As of late I have been making my way through the gospel of Mark. It has been a long while since I actually sat down with a gospel account. I normally get lost in the old testament somewhere being like " Jews threw huge parties, we should do that" or like " Nehemiah prayed and fasted for three months and then got the king to accept the impossible, maybe in doing that we can make the impossible plausable." I find myself fascinated by jewish culture or something to that end but when I finished reading through 1st kings, I was like hey it is time to do something different. How bout Look at an account of this Jesus character who was the fullfilment and the energy that made all this passion and power happen. So here I find myself on a beautiful sunny day in early march, somewhere in the middle of Mark.

There have been mainly three things that have caught my eye that I want to try and note on real quick...well, maybe real quick.

The first one being scribes. All thoughout the gospel account of Mark I see people referred to as scribes who I at least see as should being able to realize this Jesus character is the son of God , for some reason they don't. I think it boils down to a phrase tozer said " the kingdom of God does not lie in words buts in its understanding, the true power." I have sat down with this phrase for a while now and thought about what it means along with the whole fact that the writers and historians are literally put next to in association to the pharisees. The reason they are put next to them so many times is because honestly they have all these words but they do not see. And I think and believe that this means for me as a writer to make sure that my words are more than mere words. They need to be meaningful. They need to be honest, and I shouldn't puff up myself. There is a tendancy amoung bloggers to pretend they are doing something but in accuality they are doing nothing. This is no good. That is lying using an artform as a corrupt thing. There are some people that say if Jesus lived in our day he would have a blog. I'm positive he would not. He would acually go do stuff not pretend he was. We need to be super careful not to merely learn for the sake of learning. Learning and knowledge should come in order that action might be taken upon the knowledge.

Second are engagements. I was struck last night as I was going through chapter six of Mark the phrase he includes in I believe chapter three " the sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath." Going back to the sixth chapter, Jesus doesn't get a sabbath for a long while because people need to be healed they follow him every where and never has a down moment. But when he can he takes advantage goes to a secluded place and communes with his father being filled to an overflow so He might affect many.But he is interupted by a storm that is brewing out on the sea where his disciples are. So he goes intending to pass by, but he jumps in the boat to help them out. He is not engaged to anything he can be interupted. Can we take a lesson from this? Most certainly. We need to be able to be interupted and go wherever we are needed at a moments notice. If we can't do that we need to somehow do something radical, and trust God.

The third thing is Immediacy. God is a God of immediacy. We are a people of little faith. These two things don't mix. I am reminded in reading through this account of the gospel that if people simply believed, had faith they would be healed they were healed. Bleeding hemorages gone, leprosy gone, all these things that they couldn't cure gone. What happened to that type of faith? I will say that again what happened to that type of faith? I will say it a third time what happend to that type of faith? I have accounts from all over the world of people being healed of their ailments. Yet we don't believe. Why? I do not know. We should though. If you haven't realized it we are in the last days and it is apporaching quickly I see signs and wonders all around me, I see men prophosying and dreaming, I see the gospel taking root in places it has never taken root. I see entire towns fraternities etc. coming to Jesus. I see the works of the devil being defeated. We need to get on the wagon with the rest of the world America. Myself included. We need to be radical and step out in faith. We need to pray more. We need to read our bibles. We need to be interupted. We need to trust this God of immediacy to do what he has said he will do, if we merely believed. As Isiah 45 talks about " I have not spoken in secret, in some dark land"-Jesus Our God does not hide himself unless we as a people do not wish for Him to come and show himself. WAKE UP AND ARISE, LET OUR GOD SHOW HIMSELF. All I can do is pray. And that is what I will do. I will do what I can, but christianity is not an "I" sport it is an all inclusive sport. We are weak when we try and play it alone. Even weaker when we try and play without God on our team.

JG

Turbulence in the Transition

So I am here. Where you might ask? In my room eating a bowl of cheerios staring at the calender infront of me. A thousand thoughts are running through my head. Thoughts of how awesome and much of a man one of my friends is. Thoughts of the progression of time and how the heck is it already march.Thoughts of what the heck this "blog" is going to be about. Thoughts of what God is going to do with my spring break on Urban Immersion. Thoughts of why the heck my most prized possesion is a wooden elephant from India. Thoughts of how I can develop my building concept further. Thoughts of how happy I am to be in a relationship with Elise. Thoughts of how much I suck. Thoughts of how awesome God is. Thoughts of what God did with those things I'm not quite sure I said this week. Thoughts of future, and what that entails. Thoughts of what God is going to do with this evening. It's like a fricking universe in there. That is how I come to these keys, swirling, a thousand and two thoughts running through this mind.I can't make much more sense of the unseen and seen beyond that and because of that these blogs arn't up to par, I know that, and I am truly sorry. Perhaps in time God will grant my writing ability back , but until then I am sorry if these things don't make sense, I haven't got many of these thoughts down either. Until then though I will shut up until a coherent thought does surface. Until then...

JG

Procession of Progress

Why is the begining always the hardest? I swear! There are times that I will spend hours, entire days of thought life thinking about the first sentence. I must say! There are far better things to do with my time then pondering about the beginning of things. The beginning has already begun by the action of deciding upon writing, and it is in part begun by people choosing to decide upon an action and the feet that have tread before me. The ball has already been set in motion in many things. The first step has already been taken.

So shall I begin? I will continue...I think a lot, a lot, most often about meaningless and inconsequential things. This is to my emotional downfall a lot of time. By nature I ask a lot of questions,and have always had trouble with this aspect of my character. I continuously am setting rocks in motion rolling down that metaphorical hill called progress .I don't think it is just to be an ass. Who knows, maybe I am frustrated to no end with what I see. I believe I ask and think to make people observant that many things are in movement around them. Not limited to my own rocks but the boulders that have been set in motion by other far more important men than I. I have come to realize after stepping back for two weeks and seeking out God and not starting many rocks down that hill known as progess that there are threads that are continuous through everything in life. There is a thread to life, and I must not try to do it all on my own. I am a part of a much larger mountain.

I believe and have come to the conclusion after much thought about the society I live in, we don't view ourselves in our proper context. We all see it right? Our society has big issues. Something is missing, things are not good, not perfect. What is wrong? Mr. Papas said this week, our generation will most likely not be known by the natural progression of generation x, y etc. We our so arrogant , stupid and selfish that we will be known most likly by generation "I."

I am not proposing everybody gets less selfish all of sudden because of the knowledge that they now have. Don't do that at all, IT IS NOT COMING NATURALLY AND THAT IS THE REAL ISSUE. Christian brothers come to me all the time wanting to bypass the issue. I will oblige by listening but I tell them foremost " you need to deal with things with your Father in heaven." The best thing they can do is take a day off get on there knees and simply sit there and let the overwhelming nature of silence set in. You can't keep covering the pain you must comfront it head on and deal it. We have got to get this down and realize this above many others:There is a progression of progress that has been begun a long time ago. Progress, reconciling, it has and will continue to happen despite us.I will say this though: we are hands and feet and must set things in motion but before we do anymore we must get in touch with the one who makes the rocks roll. I would love to see christians not force anything until they take a week off to pray fast and deal with the REAL ISSUE. I took my two weeks. God shattered my perceptions. God made me cry. God made me deal with this issue. We all need so much work, it is overwhelming.

If you do anything with what you learned here do this 1. read God's word and don't get frustrated, sit and meditate on a passage for more than your ADD mind normally would. And 2. figure out why things don't come naturally, the insight you gain from that question is well worth the soul searching. So much for my nap, bummer.
JG

The Things I learn in being Silent

There have been several points in my life where I take time, in a sense be still, shut my mouth and merely listen to as one composer put the movement of the spheres.It is quite astounding what you hear if you simply shutup and what you see if you take your eyes off what you would normally look at. I decided to do this for the first time last quarter I took a vow of silence for about a week or so and I came to realize how immensely much the silence spoke during that time. I was reminded while refraining from putting effort into speech this evening how much God can do with us doing nothing. How much he can do with stillness.

I wanted to note some things tonight while my cultural pen hits this page.

I have come to realize this in my time of silence... that what prevents us from seeing is merely that we do not look. What prevents us from hearing is that we are simply not listening. What prevents us from touching is that we refuse to experience what we haven't before. What prevents us from tasting is we somehow can't seem to fathom any other than what we've known. What prevents us from smelling is that we grow accustom to our rancid smell. We do not recognize truth for truth because we do not see clearly. We do not hear clearly because we are stubborn and stagnant. We are touching the stubborn and stagnant as CS Lewis would say refusing to experience the full extent of life, the movement of life. Tasting life for what it is, every wonderful thing God gave us. The truly wonderful things God gave us.

When I was a child I did not speak for a long while. It was because no one could teach me how. I could not hear. My parents realized by their love something was wrong and showed their wisdom and took me to a doctor. They took the measures necessary to ensure and to teach me how to listen to the movement of the spheres. During that time as well as every time since then God has spoken in profound ways through silence. I came to know Christ shortly after I began to hear. Was it because of the silence, I do not know. But I do not doubt it played its part.

As I have done many times before this day I stand in silence and dare to dream a dream so impossible that if God is not in it, it is doomed to failure. It is forsaking all that I may gain everything. Shifting myself and orienting it heavenward in preperation for what is coming. No more old me...

JG

Under the influence of Noise Cancelling Headphones

I think bloggers by nature search for that "perfect title." They think about it all day in their head, running the endless possibilities through their minds, finally reaching one so different from the initial title. One, "so great" that it is no longer good enough to write about what one knows but instead one has to write something they themselves know nothing about. I see this all around me, so many empty words without knowledge. Here's a novel thought" how bout instead of making the title quality you make the content as well," just a thought. Our world is plagued with this we try and entice people with what sounds good/ looks good/ smells good etc. not what is quality. The christian blog circles, are guilty of this. We complain but never do anything about it. I propose this for those of us found in Christ before we as christians go and proclaim the "new revelation" we must make sure it is sound. We rush things far to much and in a sense ruin things because of it. If a blog cannot be backed up with scripture, not merely a verse, but the truth outlined between Genesis and Revelation, and cannot be backed up with the test of time, it really shouldn't be written. We do all to bring this world back to Christ. We do nothing out of vain ambition or conceit. We are here to help not hinder. Let words mean things and let the way of prayer be our way. We cannot rush.

I will confess here I am guilty of this..but I bring the point up to challenge many to check the quality of their work. The internet can publish anything at the click of a button. Anyone can publish anything especially with blogs. The internet is full of enough crap. Add to it only if you actually think it would be benificial to people to read what you have to say.

One last note...if you as a christian write not good things about your brother found in Christ or to the lesser extent say things . I will remind you that we are charged with preserving the unity of the bretheren beyond many other things in the bible. When we do not respect God's wishes we commit the original sin in not resepecting and viewing the authority structure properly. It says of those who do not respect authority, those who do not obey, they have become like the angels who did not respect authority in the heavens and became the workers of the devil. Please do not do this anymore my dear brothers, build one another up. My love and prayers are with you all.

JG

Sunlight after the Rain

SWEET is the sunlight after rain,
And sweet the sleep which follows pain,
And sweetly steals the Sabbath rest
Upon the world's work-wearied breast.

Of heaven the sign of earth the calm!
The poor man's birthright, and his balm!
God's witness of celestial things!
A sun with healing in its wings.

New rising in this gospel time,
And in its sevenfold light sublime,
Blest day of God! we hail its dawn,
To gratitude and worship drawn.

O nought of gloom and nought of pride
Should with the sacred hours abide!
At work for God, in loved employ,
We lose the duty in the joy.

Breathe on us, Lord! our sins forgive,
And make us strong in faith to live:
Our utmost, sorest need supply,
And make us strong in faith to die.

I'm coming Your way

If all we have is loss
Than all I have is you
If life is what we choose
My choice is you

I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way

If all we do is try
I’m giving you all mine
If faith helps us to decide
I have decided

I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way

With all of my breath
With this heart in my chest
Every look in my eye
You’ll know that I

I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way
I’m coming Your way

Dawn of Insight ( teflon coated brains)

It never ceases to dumbfound me the places God brings us to as we continually seek after Him. How He continues to strip us down to the core of our being exposing all the rot that has happened inside ourselves. Over the course of this past weekend and over the course of this week God has brought me to such a place, where I realize the extent of my failures and the immensity of His grace. Through a long process It would seem dawn is rising, it would appear some new and more wonderful thing than I could dream of is rising!

For those of you who don't know what has happened over the course of this year within myself, I will try and summarize it here. To put it simply God has brought me to the end of myself this year, this is a continually daily thing not a one time thing. He continues to show me how much I suck and how awesome He is and that which is awesome within me is only by His grace. It culminated last quarter with me at the LAX airport after a freak fog storm made me get home 8-10 hours late, I remember wanting to simply cry and be embraced by the only Love I know. It continued to escalate with three blizzards, stuck in my home, forcing me to be alone with my Father in heaven and deal with what I am coming to know as Truth or as I put it here: Insight. Over break I remember upon my knees I gave it all away for the first time in a long time. We are all mere dust, and the fact that dust can speak, let alone approach God...that is something!

God since then has brought me back to how important the character of God is and how important it is to recogonize God to be who He is and not put any of our human boundaries and limitations on Him. He continues to bring me to a correct insight from His eyes, not my own, of myself.

The place I find myself today is realizing that I do not believe the Holy Spirit to be who He is,I simply do not honestly believe that He resides within me and He will, can, and most certainly is if we ask and show we will do,give us all the strength we need. Last night I came to this conclusion: I have grown tired as of late and wanted to spend this whole weekend in silence and on the beach because I was and still in part am tired. And I wonder why the Lord hasn't spoken anything to do as of late? It is because I haven't done what I was supposed to do when He spoke last. I am doing in part and more so each day what He is calling me to do but I still do suck majorly at this whole obeying God thing. For those who this wake of my disobedience has affected my deepest apologies I give.

With this insight we worship God for who He is. That He resues us a sinner every day. That those who have teflon coated brains and hearts He will forever try and get insight to stick . As Hebrews talks about He is the same yesterday today and forever. The same Jesus who died for you and me sits at the right hand of God the father and imparts his choice for grace everyday to us. That is who my God is, and I will continually forever fall in love with Him because unlike myself He gives 100% everyday and never fails me. With that insight I will look into His eyes and see who He is,and my character will be changed by the flames in His eyes and the truth that He is who He has said he is.

My prayer is that we daily might approach the throne of grace surrendered and at the end of ourselves. That although we go to large gatherings and worship God corporately that we meet "I am" individually and are changed by the ferocity of His grace and love.

JG

*I included the above picture because I was struck this weekend by the beauty and the two girls fascination with this pier and the light that came between the columns. I hope you are struck by the beauty of our Father as these two girls are with the pier.

Empire of the King

How seldom the time
I see you…only you
Rightly and altogether true
Where my heart becomes one

With the perfect Father’s grace and love
I see You…

I worship, still, blessed Lord
And my God is all He has said
Even more than I will ever comprehend
Saints and angels join to sing


The growing symphony of beauty
The growing empire of the King.

And blessed Jesus, How I love you
That I can glimpse Your greatness
To dance in Your bliss?
Who can describe the joys that rise


Within all the courts of Paradise
To see what was dead now arise?

I worship, still, blessed Lord
And my God is all He has said
Even more than I will ever comprehend
Saints and angels join to sing


The growing symphony of beauty
The growing empire of the King.

Heavenly Places

I don't quite know where to begin tonight, what to pen first, or what I should provide to those finding themselves reading such a thing as this...

(15 minutes later)

As of late things have defied being writ. This has been going on for quite a while. More than I think most know of. To be completely honest I have not journeled on paper in over 3 months. I have been unable to organize a blog in about two and a half weeks( a record for me shutting up.) and I Find myself tonight completely inadequate.I find myself without any ability to write as I once did, I am laid bare before God, not living up to his standard his weights and his measures. Knowing that He alone is the only one I can run to from now on. I have a list of do nots and no list of dos. Here is where I find myself today.

I decided to ditch my first class today, I found myself under attack in many ways this morning. It was not a pleasant thing to wake up to that when you yourself do not understand what is going in the spiritual realms and are blind to the weapons you used in the past. I am not too happy about that one still. This is one of the first things I am honestly not happy with God for doing this quarter. Undoubtably that will need to be dealt with one on one with my Father in Heaven. But I need not be upset for we know as christians that we need not despair while in apparant trials but we can rejoice because we know that our God is for us and uses all things to the benifit of those who love Him.

Do I love Jesus? Yes! That resounds witin me. He will work it all out to my benifit whether in this life or in the Next. So while in this trial I will use it to the Glory of God. I will run this race with the guarentee of what is to come, and the treasure that lies in wait for me. I will let the spirit resound within me and fight. I will let these emotions go towards the advancement of my Father in Heaven and His story and not to tears and pen these words.

Dear brothers and sisters found in our Lord Jesus,

I am concerned with the lack of stewardship within your lives. You use your treasures talents, gifts and abilities to your own benefit and do not benifit the bretheren around you. We are called to preserve this, the very thing which our blessed Jesus sweat blood for while in the garden. You are not willing to trust the one who has the whole world in HIs hands, and are so concerened with time. You do not know our God, you worry about the least important things and refuse to live the best lives there are.There is no holiness within you. You do not look any different than the world. You are so concerned with the doing that nothing comes naturally. You have forgotten the love you once had, your first Love.

What has happened to all those who call themselves sons and daughters of God? Should we not desire to be as our daddy is?Isn't He the perfect Father? Should we not learn to delight in who He is and enjoy his presence?What has happened within our hearts? What pain has come? How bruised and broken are we that we cannot accept His perfect Love?

Could it be that we are a people of little faith? A people so far gone from God in our day? So far away from the prophets of God that we cannot fathom what past generations have known? Are we removed from those who have visited the heavenly places and come back with there face aglow? NO! dear brothers and sisters.

If only we would turn? Turn to the scriptures and see away from the worlds perceptions, to see the real Jesus. To be changed forever by His character and the very face of God. Choose this day to whom you will fix your eyes upon. And do not let go of His hands, do not look away from His wonderful eyes, look to Jesus. Look towards his wonderful face I beg you. Do not forget our blessed Lord.

JG

Fracture

Here in momentary fracture
Where division comes
Where heart skips a beat
In solemnity and tears
And downcast face

Where light breaks
Here in this fracture

Symphony of light
Dance in flame around me
Reflections of the divine
shadow from the daybreak
Passage of time to reveal this rhyme

The lofty made less austere
By the hourglass

Heavenly arrow
Shatter this heart
Where the light breaks
As I lie here…
Here in this fracture

Sunrise

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill And find that…

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank you, thank you
That after the long night, you are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

You are sunrise

-Sunrise, nichole nordeman

Rise and Fall

I am always amazed at the way life seems to be busy one moment and completely stopped at others. It seems to rise and fall like a skillful symphony. However... it seems very choppy to me though for a symphony.But what do I know about the way the "symphony should be played."

I make this observation because I found it odd that I worked for about 4 straight days to be done with a huge model only to find because of the 4 or 5 so all nighter kids my lab professor decided to push the critique back a day. I am by no means complaining, I just find it interesting that I have 8 hours of free time when for the past 4 I have had none. About such matters I am observing that this thing known as life is a bit rough on the transitions .

Elise was commenting the other day how some trees have the ability to bloom over night here . What gives the tree this ability? How do these things have the ability to change amazingly quick? to grow?to change?What lesson do the trees have to teach us?

Here are the thoughts I have come to...I think like the tree every day has the ability to in a sense be new and different and we can deal with it. However, we must make each day what it is based on the ability of how much we are willing to grow, change, and adapt to the given new circumstance. Of all the seasons I have had in my life. I think the most important thing I have learned is that you really need to get over this whole change thing. I hate the whole fact we as an american culture are afraid to grow up. Our wants and desires far outweigh the benifit beyond the need.I look most recently at past quarter and the lack of ability to change and my wants and desires and how it crippled me. And now I come to realize that God alone "the desire" of my heart was all I needed, that took skillful surgery and some pounding to get into my head. I refused to deal with the things that truly needed to be dealt with.

If I simply would have looked at the trees...I would have seen and learned.

JG

Bulldozers

I feel the urgency to write, no idea quite why yet. I feel the urgency to lay all down tonight and write. I feel called to sit here in front of my computer neglect my duties for a time. I am not quite sure what God is going to speak through me to you about but guess we'll see. I'll be just as amazed as you, the fact that dust can speak something substantle that is something

I wanted to write about an observation a teacher made about me. He said I am a bulldozer. For those of you who don't know, I am studying to be an architect at CalPoly and we have design class where teachers normally rip you apart as a person. Good if you are secure as a person not so good if you are not. During one of these crits my teacher called me a bulldozer. I like to tear things down figure out how the heck they go together and then make them better, this is true. But I think so many times I am also a recking ball. I want and have the tendency as an architect to want something new instead of working with what I have been given. I think a lot of us have that problem. I remember going over break to the denver art meuseum's new expansion and said its good the architect was so arty that he didn't feel the need to fit within the normal square walls and such, I said what a waste. The thing is though I am totally like that. I am incredibly arty yet I have this medic within me, if you will, saying you need to be sustainable and you need to help other people. My world view in a sense doesn't fit inside my calling, and I don't know what quite to make of that. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am supposed to be in this major. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God is going to do something amazing with my life. It's just incredibly hard to see when I tear things down in my life alongside God, and there is a lot of cleanup and renovation that need to be done what exactly will come of it.

God will work it all out in the end, this I know I wonder though what the heck He is going to do?

JG

Atop the World

Yesterday I got the chance to go atop the hills that surround Cal Poly. There was some frustration brewing within me and I felt a need to commune where in a sense I had sojourned before. God always has a way of in a sense of sweeping me off my feet while I meet Him in the hills .

He normally grants me a song, a picture, and some scripture. Yesterday there was a lot more scripture than normally and a lot of it concerned the city of Tyre, I honeslty have no idea what the heck that is all about so I will not mention anything about that besides every passage the wind blew open to was about Tyre. So I am positive God has more to speak about Tyre, but God and I have not had that convo yet.

He led me back to Isaiah, He seems to favor that book while I am in the hills. God has been speaking to me through Isaiah 22 for a long time now,well more like the past month and a half, whenever I am in the mountains or the hills away from civilization and things are quiet and sweet. I have had many misled ideas about the meaning of what the verses within the chapter mean, I remember telling Colin a while back that I thought God was going to give this baptism of the holy spirit that I have been seeking out and that these verses stated it. I don't know if that is going to happen or not or if that even exists but I know something is changing within me. These verses speak of a valley and walls crumbling and crying to the mountains. God is bringing me to the end of me, where the fence is knocked down, where all walls are knocked down and I finally am what God has destined me to be, I am by no means there yet, I am def striving toward that goal thought and It will be awesome to see how God conveys my life story in words when I know everything is changing gnarlycore( gnarly+ hardcore=gnarlycore). I am pretty stoked to say the least.

I felt today God leading me to write impassioned words letting words come out that haven't come out in a long time. I found it was my sensitivity returning to the state of the heavens and God's very heart. I have not been that in tune for a long while. I was relieved to find myself still in a season where I don't have to speak up except prompted. The responsibility fell upon other leaders and it was sweet to see fiery words come and people repenting.I know this probably doesn't mean anything to a lot of you, the before mentioned ramblings. Anyways though I will continue because this is merely a record for me. God is carrying me beyond the broken fence, cracking boulders, and doing amazing things. That is personally really exciting, probably not exciting for you because it is not your own soul that is being divided from the spirit. It's mine though, and that is cool.

JG

Return

Oh pitch that resonates
Resonates within me
Oh dear broken one
Split in two

Dust of the ground
From the largest boulder
Dust turned to mud
Flowing from the father's eyes

If I could cry tears
Enough to water your fields
If I could embrace your cold heart
I would warm it with my fire

Can’t you see child
Don’t be so quick to turn away
Can’t you see child
Return, commune with me

Arise and do not fear
See the daybreak
Arise and see the new dawn
I will carry you

Lift up your hands, feel it
Don’t be so quick to turn away
Lift up your eyes, see these tears
Return, commune with me

Child sing the song I gave you
The day the wind began to sweep your land
Child, pour out your broken cup
The New has come

Redefined...provoking thoughts from this morning

So I sit here, same desk, same chair, same computer but things seem... well, a lot different. As my sister once wisely spoke to me each quarter is a different balance. We should not expect things to stay the same

This morning I woke up at about 3am or so to some coyotes howling. I sat in bed for a while thinking .I do not exactley remember where my thoughts went but they were trying to make some sense out of my very...well, scattered thoughts as of late. I presume that these coyotes, often depicted howling at the moon, are a perfect example for God to show me that things have in a sense changed very drastically. Light has in a sense begun to pierce through darkness in the literal and figurative. It is by no means a full light only a reflection of the sun but it is light in much darkness and for that I am very grateful.

Here are the thoughts I came to this morning:

God led me to Romans 3:20b it says" ...that every mouth may be closed and all the world may become accountable to God." I would encourage all of you to read this section of scripture because it points out two oftentime missed points in Christianity. One, our ultimate accountability is with the Father in heaven not with our christian brothers.I cannot beging to count the times that my fellow brothers in Christ have made stumbling blocks for me, I am done with that, my ultimate accountability is with God from now on. Two, we as christians cannot sit idle and apathetic. We as Christians must start looking at things correctly, no more of this sin is not really bad if you sleep with someone before you are married, if you look at a woman with lust you are an adulterer, if you eat too much you are a glutten, sin is serious . It is my belief and I will stick to it until God convicts me of perhaps being wrong that the reason there does not exist a true representation of christianity in our culture is because we refuse to be holy as scriptures tells us to be and we do not make it about the personal relationship dealing with the exterior not the heart.

God has been like a skilled surgeon cutting out this part of me for a while I guess you could call it sanctification. My apathy is by no means gone and my laziness is by no means cured but it is on the mend because God is teacing me something quite profound...

This section of scripture comes from Paul explaining the advantage afforded to the jew. He says that they were entrusted with what the NASB calls "oracles of God". That sounds pretty classy I must say. Paul gets really excited about the fact that the jews had these and that they in a sense couldn't screw up the message of salvation because a prophet would come around every so often and turn the people back.These oracles of God are pretty much the prophets, utterances of God, apostles, and basically anyone who has any type of inspiration by God in the time before Paul. Basically the old testement. He explains though that to us as christians we have responsibilities because of the importance afforded to us by being on this side of slavation. This is because Jesus is the last prophet. As it talks about in Hebrews 1:1-2 God...has in these last days spoken to us by His Son" We let Jesus be our prophet, our divine utterance in this age as the Christian. It is all about Jesus and we need to not be apathetic anymore because without a prophet as the old testament has every generation or so we have been two thousand years without our prophet. We have the Holy Spirit inside of us and that is a greater gift. We need to be careful though that we are not so far off and repent. We must understand that the spirit of God is emotional in the same way that Jesus wept when he found out Lazarus had died and he does get grievous. The same heart that makes us shed tears for the lost is within the Spirit of God. He desires earneslty to enter into the unbelieving heart but because of sin he is grieved and has intense pain. We've got to get rid of this sin thing. I suggest we start with the apparent sins that damage out communities first. That is different for each place. Sin has to go.

JG

Angel standing between

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

Fear that strikes me speechless
The angel standing between
bridging the gap...divinity

could it be...
...can this be?

Your sword out of its sheath
face buried, holy ground beneath my feet
yet no sentence was gave

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

Eyes shut, face down on my knees
His holy array, before my very face
splendor, glory, and majesty

Little flame, kindled and reborn
the Glory found in His holy name

open hands embrace my face
...Your love displayed
could it be...my God still before me
...can this be?

JG

We forget because we do not take the time to look

Elise and I ended up taking most of yesterday off and decided to go exploring around this beautiful area surrounding San Luis Obispo, CA. We were headed up 40 miles north anyway to do some errands so mine as well take the scenic route. I was reminded of one thing while in the midst of God's vast expanse on our drive and our three mile walk. One we forget oftentimes, infact a lot of the times, because we simply do not take the time to look. I go to school in one of the most beautiful areas of the world and I do not take the time to in a sense smell the roses every once in a while, what a shame.

In my own life I am reminded that God has had to instill and reteach lessons time and time again. I am reminded that all though in a sense I keep my thoughts recorded more than most I do not go back and see the profoundnity of these lessons learned in past times. If we cannot take the time to remember what God has taught us and make it speak as profound we will most certainly lose it.

I was reminded two nights ago when I was talking to my friend Andrew about how life was going how amazing simply stating what God has done is. I stated all that God has done over the course of this school year. What a wonderful thing it was to go back and remember such things. God is so good, so faithful.

JG

Wake

Morning rise, wake!, see the beginning unfold
as golden reflections appear in these panes
to merely capture a glimpse of the Sun
Clouds that have taken you,
forever stirring and brooding
Surely nothing can compare

Wake the moment has come,
on this day I have come to see
reflections turn to Full Glory

Afternoon sun, you see the bluest lake
now transformed by His glory
Ripples of light echo in your very waters
O God of Light, outshining the Sun
Partial is my perception
Different Light, I could dream of such things

Gone are the shadows of the night
on this day I have come to see
this eager anticipation in my heart

Oh Evening coming, how could it be?
that You would carry me by Your cloak and on Your wings
That the You would take me to Your place
Creator and my Maker, come once again
Light that will no longer bend, but that will pierce
On that day, I will truley wake!

Wake the moment has come,
on this day I have come to see
reflections turn to Full Glory

JG

Something Stirring

For those of you that have been in San Luis obispo over the past few days, you know full well that the wind has been very active lately. I can't help but imagine that it happens to be a perfect metaphor for the stirring and in a sense the movement that is happening within a lot of the students here at CalPoly. I think for the first time in a longtime and in the history of the christian church we have realized, more stumbled, by God's grace onto a simple truth about our faith that is in a sense the deepest most profound part of our faith. I would call it revival but I will not use the word because it has become so trite in christian circles. It is Of. We are begining to seek with "ALL."It is a beautiful thing.

"Ask and it shall be given, Seek and you will surely find, Knock and the door will be opened"
-God
"Seek first the kigdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"
-God

I would never mention anything of the full knowledge I have gained I will say though, for those who seek they will find, if such knowledge becomes yours you will fully understand what is happening in this little town on the coast of Cali. Needless to say these past few days I have been meditating and thinking on a lot of the propecies surrounding my life and what God I know through spirit filled indivduals is doing in this small town near the coast and on the larger scale .Needless to say I am excited to see what God does, to see His every word fulfilled in my lifetime. It is greater than I could ever dream, bigger and grander than anything I could percieve. It makes my heart skip a beat and then beat with even greater anticipation. It makes me wear a smile forever on my face.

"This is what I have gained after letting go to grow. In order that I find a deeper truth for my own and my own understanding but ultimatey a deeper meaning in Him. I have lost so much yet have gained every ounce back and am to gain more. That is something! Embarking upon true understanding on the central issue and central understanding that is lacking."

JG!

Cultural identity & lessons form the Storms

(written at SFO)

I was sitting on the plane like I normally do when I have my deep thoughts on my travels to someplace. I was thinking that perhaps culture is an oftentimes missed subject in the Christian church.After some thought on the subject I believe it to be far too neglected. I was thinking though that most of our frustrations lie within the culture and how to in a sense relate to it while still remaining apart from it, shouldn't we focus on it if it the source of our frustation or figure out why? We have never fully understand it as Christians and do a really poor job of teaching God's elect about culture.

I don't believe it is a plan by any means or a piece of knowledge beyond the personal with Jesus Christ. I am simply writing because few without a helpful letter or thought provoking blog will think about such things. I am a means for those who won't look at God's word and get the better or better interpretted plan from Him.The fact remains though that in relating to the culture we need to change our outlook on it. I think foremost we need to change a few of our mindsets on a few key things and I feel myself repetitive in writing things over and over because I write to a specific auidence.

I remember last time I was in san fransisco I wrote something about the homosexual population here or something to that degree that they are a major foundation for art and thought and they are genrally a source for a lot of good in the world.This contributes greatly to the city's culture. It is a city that enjoys intellectual thought and enjoys showcasing how diverse it it a modern day Athens if you will. I think oftentimes we miss the point though as Christians when we look at a city like that, we judge too frequently, and get in the middle when we are supposed to be on the sidelines praying. Sin is the issue but it was always about us relating back to Jesus, we see it all over the gospels. Everything in the entire bible if looked at with an open mind and original intent it was all to point to Jesus. We somehow can't tie Jesus into our culture though for some odd reason as christians why?

I could probably say that we're stupid as a culture of chirstians. I could probably say that we are lazy and don't understand enough about our culture. I would probably be right in making such judgements but if my words here go only to the point of complaining and not helping then what is the point.

Here's what I see about our culture. Art is supposed to make a statement and say something, but what does it do. It really sucks at getting its purpose done unless words are spoken to explain it or some previous knowledge is known about it. I got to go to the Denver Art meusem and I was amazed at the fact that the art was there to trigger a response. A nude mona lisa, eighteen life size bobbleheads etc. Honestly a lot of it was crap, including the building. It was interesting to say the least with its non ninety degree anything but I saw the fact that the snow was dripping into the building they probably should have cared more about longevity than the fact that the asthetics of that one corner.

Our culture doesn’t care about longevity or craft. We have lost the whole point that we have so many art projects in a sense without purpose. We have a world where people are starving and we have a thirty foot dustpan, how bout we act and not say so many words with our painted picture. Couldn’t we have saved the life of someone in the world instead of creating such rediculous things.

America is so much a nation where the mentatility is bliss and the consumtion of ice cream if eliminated could feed the entire world. That is sad. Could it be that I am supposed to stay here. Is it true that I am supposed to be a man that should involve myself in the world and get my hands dirty always being loyal to my Jesus and to no one else. Yes! My whole being cries out and says yes whole heartedly. Opinions of men do not matter anymore…my ultimate accountability partner is in heaven.

This is the point I have lost amidst finding friends being immersed into much and opening up to many. This is what I have gained after letting go to grow. In order that I find a deeper truth for my own and my own understanding but ultimatey a deeper meaning in Him.

I have lost so much yet have gained every ounce back and am to gain more. That is something! Embarking upon true understanding on the central issue and central understanding that is lacking.

JG

Rustle in the Breeze

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh the rustle in the breeze
I see you for once
Oh the thaw in the freeze
I feel every ounce

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh flame that is fanned
and love all refined
Oh kindled this flame
and so it became

Oh fire that now is enraged
and passion no longer caged
Oh breath of God, His very voice
reverberating and resounding, I am called to rejoice

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

Oh nature itself has been set into motion
and dancing and singing in apparent comotion
Oh light that was hidden in darkness these nights
has led to Your glory of wonderful new lights

Oh wind that blows this warmth on my face
Oh fire that I feel,this touch of your grace

JG

Lessons from Lake Dillon

I am amazed to find how God can speak through the simplest things. That it does not take His Word to make us learn lessons or hear His voice. I guess this is what struck me this morning. God is so desperate to get in touch with his creation that He speaks through any means He can. He is the ultimate pursuer. I forget that so often.

I found myself as I normally do when God chooses to speak, in profound yet simple ways, by a body of water. On this particular morning I found myself aside the frozen waters of lake Dillon in Colorado.

I don't remember whose decision it was to venture out onto the lake. Needless to say though Elise and I decided to venture out onto the frozen stillness. I am still not quite sure what God was trying to speak from this experience but He was speaking so intimately to my ,much like the lake, half frozen heart.

I could hear the ice moaning . Unlike anything I had ever heard.

(pause)

Honestly that is what my heart and mind did they became as still as the very ice that was in the lake when I heard the noises that the lake was making.

(pause)

It is interesting that God chooses to speak to me through His creation and His creation's nature. To have me sit and stand on a lake that was a metaphor for the path God has for my life and my heart. To have me on the first of the year remember that I am nowhere close to spring.To make me see there is much crying and moaning in the process I have set myself on.

Needless to say that was...quite something.

I need not struggle against something that cannot change, to somehow believe I can be any more righteous than the entitelment granted me by Jesus' death on the cross. To somehow believe I can speed up the process of sanctification within myself. To somehow fight when I have a Warrior King soaked in blood and I am the one who wears white. How naive was and am I still?

I have in a sense been building walls when I have been grasped so firmly and put in a place where walls need not be built. I refuse to let God strip me bare, my pride refuses to let go. There is a groaning in my soul because of the undercurrent that is waging war.

As of late I have been in search of what most christians would call "Baptism of the Holy Spirit." I have been in a sense questing for what is now approaching about six months, ever since this season of life began where nothing is defined the same. I have gotten on my knees several times and asked that this gift be given, but it is not time yet, I am still by nature whether I like to admit it or not, flesh.

There is a selfish motive I must confess on my part. I want out of this season so badly. I am not going to lie that this has been the worst quarter of my life. I have gained a lot of what God said He was going to do and I have been given many "treasures of darkness." These are wonderful things to grasp and understand but being in the dark so long I long so desperatley for any light.

God showed me much more from the lake this morning but I feel for simplicity sake I will leave it here.I will say though that God showed me this morning what needs to change with this upcoming quarter...and it is going to look very different. I am redefined as a person and will act according to this man that God has fashioned.

JG