The Attributes... Delight

Surrounded by Your shadow every need I have is met
When I'm waiting in Your presence every fear
Is put to rest
You belong to me and I belong to You
Nothing will ever come my way
That You won't see me through
I delight in the beauty of Your holiness
Because I won't find a love like Yours
In all the earth
In the quiet of Your chambers the love
I feel is made complete
In the mercy You have granted
I will rest for all eternity
You belong to me and I belong to You
Nothing will ever come my way
That You won't see me through
I delight in the beauty of Your holiness
Because I won't find a love like Yours
In all the earth
(Because I won't find a face like Yours
In all the earth)
-Jason Morant

There are many things God has been teaching me this summer, a lot of them simple truths I have forgotten or not known to begin with. Tonight and over the past couple days God has drastically been showing who I am making me disgusted at who I am, at times sick to my stomach because of who I am. However he has been showing what character is found in the spirit inside of me.

Wednesday I got the chance to delight in the spirit ,who God is, focusing on His attribute of infitude" One God, one Majesty. There is no God but Thee. Unbounded, unextended unity" It was pure delight to focus on God, who He is was and will be forever and for the first time not focusing on what He has done for me but on the character of the Divine. That is the way it should be and was meant to be. Worshiping God because God is God.

But the next morning and all throughout the day at work the day after I came under incredible attack, I began to get frustrated with myself and the very character that was inside of me, my flesh sidetracking me from the pure delight I had experienced the night before. Not being able to delight as God does in so many things in what is being done now in the present, my mind refused to focus on the present and jumped to the future. This turned me into a thought life of sin.

I was forgetting, always forgetting, that God delighted in me, and didn't care about the future as much as He cared about the present, simply being with me, sitting in the car besides me, going on the journey with me, always beside me.

I was forgetting the very words God spoke through a wonderful blessing in the begining of this summer "embrace this darkness and desert time fully."

I feel that has happened a lot I have forgotten so many vital things, in college I forgot persistence which is what I need so desperately in this season God has placed me in. I learned and grew deeper in all facets of the christian walk but forgot the dilegence of reading the word every day before I went to bed, praying at my bedside before I went to bed, and having my devotional in the morning. I forgot the things I did in my childhood and as a new christian and didn't realize what really was the source of all the growth as a child, and why I wasn't growing as I once did. The source were these things.

I felt myself crying these words...

"I have forgotten the ways of old
forsaken a land once owned
I have begun embracing the cold
forgotten warmer tones"

I feel i have forgotten so much and lost the simplicity I had in my childhood. And when I found myself in such a pit of despair forgetting much like, infact, probably just like the israelites I found myself an emotional wreck thurday night. I got on my knees and prayed for deliverance from these things. I forgot though. I forgot the things I was supposed to remember.

I was talking to one of my future roomates about it on AIM the whole spiritual warfare that evening and he pointed me to prayer. I am amazed by that mans humility and deep understanding and placement of simplicity above everything in the christian walk. He does not dilly dally with second hand things he always points me and others to the source. Bless him incredibly God.

The one thing I forgot and why sin did overcome me that night was I forgot the other facets. Prayer is only one of a few things we need to make sure are in our lives. We need prayer, we need the Word, we need fellowship, we need common sense. Notice how only one of those things is capatilized. The Word is of highest althority always we should never forget that.

Today, Friday, I found myself awakened in the middle of the night to the ramications of the spiritual warfare in the physical plane. The storm was blowing, and I could hear the battle raging. I finally got back to sleep after my fears were comforted by the King.

As normal I awoke for work and saw the sunrise , this morning though I found the words I had read wednesday night coming to mind.



" God did what He did joyfully. He made the heaven and the earth joyfully. That's why the flowers look up and smile, and the birds sing and the sun shines, and the sky is blue and rivers trickle down to the sea." " The infinite God is enjoying himself. Somebody is having a good time in heaven and earth and sea and sky. SOMEBODY IS PAINTING THE SKY. Somebody is making trees grow where only gashes were a year ago. Somebody is causing the ice to melt out of the river and fish to swim and the birds to sing and lay their blue eggs and build their nests and hatch their young. Somebody's running the show."

I found as I stared at this sunrise at the complete cloud filled sky. And the sun clearer than any other day this summer I found myself singing in my heart these words.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
-Jason Morant

As I found myself tonight down in Colorado Springs I found myself healed with declaring once again the very character of God. Nothing will ever come my way that You won't see me through Lord. I need not fear or be frustrated. The word declares this " The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. " -psalm 33:11 and because of this we sing " In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in You"-psalm 33:21-2

Lord I delight once again in the beauty of who You are! May it never leave me.

JG

No more blogs on the weekdays

So it is official I am not able yet to blog during the weekdays anymore because God is not giving me sufficient time to be still and gather my thoughts properly. I wish I could but not so much anymore so until the weekends don't expect anything from me.
Love you all, ttyl.
JG

Sleep Cycle v2

So ever since I got this job of mine that has me up between4-5AM nearly every day my sleep schedule has been a little off. Take for instance today I woke up at like 8AM on my own took a nap at 2-6 awoke again at 12:30 after going to bed at 9PM so pretty much it is now 1:30 AM I am still up and since I have 8 hours of sleep my body is perfectly awake and I will probably be up unless I fall asleep again and of course then I will be up at 5:20. I hate real jobs. God is totally using this time but I am so ready to be back, honestly with me being the only one here and the time drawing nearer each day, every day is a bigger challenge because I know God has infintely more to do in me but it is so easy to just settle. I know God's timing is way better so I will remain without letting my will get in the way and find joy in the area I am in. I think that is probably one of the biggest struggles I have right now focusing enough on the present to be able to simply do nothing. It has always been a hard thing to balance during a time of complete dessert silence. But once again this is only a season and seasons pass and I'm certaintly glad this one is coming to a close eventually. Until then though my prayers are with all of you. Take time to be still in the silence that we never truly want but need so desperatly.
JG

Reflections on the Divine face of God

Bless, O my soul, the living God,
Call home thy thoughts that roam abroad,
That all the powers within me join
In work and worship so divine

Bless, O my soul, the God of Grace,
His favors claim the highest praise.
Why should the wonders He has wrought
Be lost in slience, and Forgot?

Let the whole earth His power confess,
Let the whole earth adore His grace.
the gentiles, with the jews, shall join
In work and worship so divine.

-Issac Watts

God's been working a lot in me this summer, I would say in the analogy of a construction sight tearing down the entire building that once was completed and reworking the foundation. God the job site supervisor is getting ready for a better design. It seems that God has some very foundational things what I would call simple truths. Things that when I built and did my work in building this life the first time I either ignored or missed entirely and they were not included in the design.

One common theme that keeps popping up is this whole waiting thing. God directed my thoughts to two different varients while praying and being still yesterday. One waiting, self sacrificing, that is true love. Two waiting in the sense that we should foremost be worshippers than doers.

I keep coming back to the whole fact that God doesn't need us but He chooses to use us. It says in Luke 19 " that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediatley cry out." Don't you think God can do things on His own if we don't choose to act, God will still be glorified and praised. Why would we ever though, why would we not cry out? I believe He has power to accomplish infintley more than I can ever imagine or dream about. That's something that's worthy of praise and exactley why those rocks will never cry out while I am alive.

On another thought on the whole reflections thing, I was sitting in the car coming back from Fort Collins and God showed me something I never realized. It applies to the whole crying out. While the sun was setting it went through the rain and created a rainbow. Like most things in nature there is three and there is normally a good metaphor in it. God the father the light(sun) was able to wash us(rain) with Jesus and has given us a promise in the spirit(rainbow). I think there is something differnt in it though rather than the trinity. God shines on us and through his spirit the rain(baptism or washing of the holy spirit) will let us reflect the fathers face.in a whole new way.

JG

A different kind of passion and apathy

I was sitting on the ground of the christian book store wondering a simple question "how many of these books are really going to be relevant beyond the next few passing years? " The answer is probably none. Maybe a few but it still remains none of these books that people go to for help and advice are going to be good enough they always leave you wanting more, they need only point toward the holy scriptures and there a man will find his fill and satisfaction. That is nothing really new for me to realize in life but another intersting thought popped into my head while I was sitting there. Jesus didn't care about certain things like money, time, food etc. everything to him was eternal unlike these books.If he was going to do something it would ripple in eternity, it would last. This apathy towards the temporary was one of the driving forces in His life. And I was wondering after this epiphany of sorts perhaps if instead of a balance of apathy and passion, I needed a differentviewpoint on who I am and who He is, in order to draw me closer to Jesus in my character, His holiness shining in me. His apathy was toward anything passing, my apathy has always been toward the eternal, uh, wow that needs some reworking in my life. My passion like my apathetic side has not been focused in the way Jesus focused passion. The only real passion we see in Jesus is a passion for holiness. I am passionate about maintaing my perfect image not the actual issue. Who cares about perception, who we are on the inside is the only thing that really matters in regard to that subject.

The waters that flow

These words that flow from sinful hands
and are read by heaven's purest lamb
humbly give'n, prayerful hands sifting sands

That He would mold and shape a world
to change the heart of one unchangable

from beneath the glorious throne
The waters of healing that flow
the waters that fully atone

He reigns over all, soveriegn God
When troubles surround and rainclouds form
he reign's over all, all knowing God

That He would mold and shape a world
to change the dynamic of the waters that flow


I am constantly amazed by who God is, how He continues to be so incredibly flawless in every aspect and how His qualities continue to be shown more and more infinite! I am sitting down tonight trying to figure out what exactley God is doing within me, because it is so wonderful and so foreign yet to my flesh so disturbing and so depressing that I need to just stay up and prayerfully consider this warfare of the spirit! The change He is initializing because of His grace, I am simple astounded that in my wickedness He is washing me.

Last night for the first time I sat down and really read psalm 119 and in summation I would say that it is an account of David asking for him to be washed completely. But as God has been doing as of lately he is soveriegn and is in continuance of the theme that through scripture we find our only true strength, in order to plead a request unto God for healing of this magnitude we must first seek out God in His word. Not that anything we do even compares to what He does and has done, but we must show God as David did in psalm 119 that we are worthy of the blessings he is going to bestow upon us.

And to be honest this lesson on scripture is driving me into perplexity more each day because God does everything and we are not worthy but we are made worthy through Christ and with Christ comes the loving response to give everything unto him. And this is a touchy issue because it plays on my whole apathetic side where I don't believe there is a responsibility but with my passionate side I am often times calling down fire with my prayers and asking unsafe requests. And as always we have a huge responsibility but we must balance the fact that through Him "we" do all things that truley do matter and I am so touchy on that too becuase I am very careful that I do not appear prideful but maintain humbleness in everything. At the same time though all this balancing is out of alignment because God shifted one of my nobs with this change that has happened and I have to figure out what exactley has changed and it causes me to stay up late"soul searching" I am no longer apathetic, I am no longer passionate, I am Christ being formed! My identity is in scripture and that is the only way I can truly get the proper mix of things, that is what I must meditate on for a couple days!

(day two meditating on this)

Today was rough, the spiritual warfare has been the worst I have experienced, it has left me depressed very reclusive and pensive as I used to be in my first years of accepting Christ, it is a scary place to be but I know it is exactley where Christ is leading me He is changing me with the power of His love, healing my past and the scars that I forgot that i had. One of my friends asked me a really tough question last night asking me if I truley knew who I was? I responded with "I am sin and God is the only righteousness i pocess". Christ is constantly being formed in me but when it boils down to it though I don't know who I am, I am insecure, I am broken, needing real friendship, being not independent. Not at all what Christ is was and will continue to be. God is a God of unchanging character and I am not supposed to be swerving I am supposed to be more and more steadfast as I continue in pursuing Christ but as most christians find they are never on the straight and the narrow but get on one side of an extreme not like Jesus. We must look toward the scriptures to become Christlike yet balancing our duty in worship.

JG

Shattering the Glass Perception

If you talk to anyone I know, especially my accountabily partners over the years they will tell you that I struggle heavily in the area of thinking too highly of myself one moment yet at another point in time not thinking highly enough of myself being so chaotic in finding my worth that it manifests itself into deep apathy and deep passion the next moment. I have for a long time been putting a glass box of wrong perceptions around myself not really letting people see the real John." In so doing I think I have negelected letting Perceptions I have of myself align with my fathers view of me. And it seems in all this soul searching it's time to get a sledge hammer and smash this perception box made of the most beautiful of glass!

"For through the grace given me I say to everyone that they should not think more highly of himself then he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has alloted to each a measure of faith. "
-romans 12:3

I find my worth in Jesus alone and the fact that when He looks at me He sees me saved and perfect in all my failures. And that is beautiful! I have yet to be fully sanctified and that is okay I don't need to do that to earn slavation or worth, I am already worthy through Christ alone. It is my worship to Him to be sanctified. The fact that all I need do is nothing and He will get everything done! But he wants me to partake! To give me blessing! To let love shine through me, and reflect as a face that spent time in the shekinah glory

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upone you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

I think paul was on to something when he said our perceptions of ourselves are alloted on the basis of our faith. When we believe God to be a God that is outside any human box, we begin to in turn shatter our outer glass shell and we begin to find that being unprotected we are sheltered alone by God and we can let Him move in is the same way He is, hallowed.

We gain so much peace when we have the key Romans 11:33-36

May we shatter this box of what God can do and shatter the glass shell of what God can do through us through Him! It is time for a generation of those baptised in the Spirit! For those who are baptized in Him will clothe their perception by Him through Him and to Him and His glory! I wait to see that one, oh what a sight that would be!

JG

Our God reigns

All that I see in my eyes
has happened, cursed the world lies.
I percieve through my mind
the modernity, I may find

and fight, as on my trembling knees
moving as a gusty gale through the trees

Our God reigns supreme in everything

Taking the ground which I never thought
I could take, perceptions I trust not

When I record...

it rains...there is no fail...it always rains...I consider that strange...or perhaps God in His infinite irony saying I love you...who knows?
JG

There will come a time...

I believe there comes a time in everyone's life where they must make important decisions, rethink important issues, reshape who they are, and direct who they want to become.

A vision of a question came to me today that I fear may haunt me for a while" Will I look back after experiencing so much and still continue on to advancement in deed and who I am in Christ, will it be a steady upward climb to oneness with christ or will it be a roller coaster? I think in the question, a little bit of perspective on why God uses time so often was gained , He wants us to be a steady never wavering light, only time can show that true character in the heart. But I also gain another question as Elise has already experienced with my God's own personal touch for me. The question is am I truly just going along with God's ride or am I actually taking initative toward perfection. Is it my heart's cry to praise God in literally everything? I know it is not complete yet and I honestly believe and it is so easy for me to say that it will never be. However, that is my soul's cry to be beyond every other man, to pursue Christ as no man has before letting him work through me because that is how I see it as being.

Granted that may sound kinda prideful and God gave me direction with that which involves accountability with an unlikely source. But I mean why would any of us settle for second best for the wavering instead of the solid unchanging thing. We seek it so desperatley good friends that will be available for us in all times, a love that will never fade. I ask why though, why? Why do we settle for this second best crap?

and perhaps you are going to read this and be like let me pray for John, and by all means do I need it, but I point out that it is not in the unchallenged world that we progress to perfection but rather the challenged one where we must fight taking up our crosses daily as Christ compels us to do!

There will come a time when so many things will come...battles raging. But God is in it...every little bit. And I cannot write beyond that for it is not me who pen such words but Christ though me! To Him be all glory.

JG

Caged bird set free

I can't help get the picture of someone setting free a bird, tonight. A bird out of lifted and raised prayerful hands released to freedom. That is what analogy comes to me when I think over what God has done tonight. He has set free this caged bird. And in so doing given me guidance for the next couple miles I am to walk.
I had the oppurtunity to go to a day of the desperation conference down in the springs and the words spoken so simple yet powerful. I feel as if my burdend heart made opaque is somehow begining to come into freedom and clarity of newness because of this revelation of simplicity.
I'm pretty exhausted so most of this will have to wait til my mind is clear and most of the revelations are sure to come as God directs them over the next couple days, I eagerly anticipate and wait for them to be revealed.
For now though I will focus on tonight
The topic of conversation was the bible, I had felt God over the past couple weeks pushing me to a deeper purpose in my reading of the Holy scriptures and also the disciplines that Jesus taught of: fasting, meditating and all those things.
God made me look specifically a couple days ago at what exactley the gospels ended with, almost all four, three focused on the diciples waiting for the holy spirit to be poured into them at pentacost before they did anything. But the gospel of John ends different it also begins differently I should have seen God doing something with the little oddity and that begining starting then, but as always sermons seem to point it out more blunt. John ends in 21:25 "And there are many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written." The meaning of this didn't exactley become apparent til some meditation on it.
The pastor spoke on the bible as I told you before. I saw something in his word choice though that I never seen before. He almost equated the Holy scriptures to the Holy spirit. I never really made the connection that as it talks about in Exodus 15:26 clearly enough " If you will give earnest heed to my voice,the Lord your God, and do what is right in His sight, and give ear to His commandments, and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians, for I the Lord am your healer" It spells it clearly that the power we have been looking for in our generaion in the Spirit of God, the understanding of those people past, the writers of the hymns the knowledge David had, it is the word of God that is where true power lies. It lies in the statutes, in the listening, in the choosing. It spells out the ripling of light I have been talking about. Prayer(listening),purity(choice), the Bible(statutes), that is what ripples and will change men around us to pursue God. It is an overflow thing the whole passing of the flame.
It says in John 1:1-5 in the begining was the word and the word was with God and the word was God.He was in the begining with God. All things came into being through Him and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being . In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
There is so much in these five verses but I want to focus on one thing in particular "the word was God." In the greek there are infitudes in the tense which means they are perfect words, as in fullness of the meaning manifested. The word "word" is infitized in the the greek. Was is not a very good translation to tag on the end, It should probably say something to the effect that The Spirit is,was, and will be God, and the the Spirit is was and always will be the Word of God,the spirit is working for sure but only where the word is. The bible is so amazing! In it lies power to defeat Satan( Jesus in the wilderness), the power the saints of old had was the Bible the very words that God inspired in men. We are too far away from Jesus to know and fully comprehend what it might look like power apart from the word of God so we must rely upon it. We must! May the very words God spoke shake this earth in power!!! May they ripple light into a darkness that can't even comprehend it!!! May they come into our hearts and give us the very mindset of Jesus, the very thought process of God!!! Oh how we should desire that above all else!!!
JG

Hymn 231

AWAY with our fears!
The glad morning appears
When an heir of salvation was born!
From Jehovah I came,
For his glory I am,
And to him I with singing return.

Thee, Jesus, alone,
The fountain I own
Of my life and felicity here;
And cheerfully sing
My Redeemer and King,
Till his sign in the heavens appear.

With thanks I rejoice
In thy fatherly choice
Of my state and condition below;
If of parents I came
Who honoured thy name,
'Twas thy wisdom appointed it so.

I sing of thy grace,
From my earliest days
Ever near to allure and defend;
Hitherto thou hast been
My preserver from sin,
And I trust thou wilt save to the end.

O the infinite cares,
And temptations, and snares,
Thy hand hath conducted me through!
O the blessings bestowed
By a bountiful God,
And the mercies eternally new!

Who, I ask in amaze,
Hath begotten me these?
And inquire from what quarter they came?
My full heart it replies,
They are born from the skies,
And gives glory to God and the Lamb.

All honour and praise
To the Father of grace,
To the Spirit, and Son, I return!
The business pursue
He hath made me to do,
And rejoice that I ever was born.

In a rapture of joy
My life I employ,
The God of my life to proclaim;
'Tis worth living for this,
To administer bliss
And salvation in Jesus's name.

My remnant of days
I spend in his praise,
Who died the whole world to redeem:
Be they many or few,
My days are his due,
And they all are devoted to him.

A stern warning

"The popular notion that the first obligation of the church is to spread the gospel to the uttermost parts of the Earth is false. Her first obligation is to be spiritually worthy to spread it. Our lord said"go" but he also said "wait," and the waiting had to come before the going. Had the disciples gone forth as missionaries before the day of pentacost, it would have been an overwhelming spiritual disaster, for they could have done no more than make converts of their own likeness, and this would have altered for the worse the whole history of the western world and had consequences throughout the ages to come."
-Tozer (warfare of the Spirit)

"For ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves( Matthew 23:15)

" Our religious mood is social instead of spiritual, We have lost the art of worship. We are not producing saints. Our models are sucessful businessmen, celebrated athletes and theatrical personalities. We carry on our religous activities after the method of the modern advertiser. Our literature is shallow and our hymnody borders on sacriledge. And scarcely anyone appears to care. We must have a better kind of christianity or we may have no true christianity left at all. Increased numbers of demi-christians is not enough. we must have a reformation."

JG

Refocusing...Calling

I feel called for some odd reason to blog tonight I have to be at work at five and I am simply exhausted from working what will be my fifth day in a row tommorow...but for some reason God is like blog...and I am like okay and I figure things will naturally flow out from that.

But before I begin to string some crazy thing together and get in a mindset of listening to what the spirit wants to speak through me about I want to focus a little section on just that the spirit using me:

For a long time I have been fascinated by how the Spirit does speak through me and how He continues to use me. I got a phone call from my friend the other day wanting to go out and have coffee and spend some time with me, I was just blown away by all that God is doing all around me and using me even in a time of utter darkness and silence to be a bright burning flame and light, I haven't had the chance for about 4 weeks to talk to someone about what God is doing face to face and the eyes of people when they see what God is doing...oh how beautiful those eyes are! The fact we get to be a part of this huge cosmic plan it is so truly awesome...it is as if I am dreaming!

How good it is to be exactley where God wants us to be, emotions laid aside, knowledge laid aside, none but Jesus in this midst. I sit in worship so much as of late, simply delighting in my Lord, and the fact that what he has given me is so much better than anything temporary that I may want to go after in my flesh, I have no desire anymore because what I have seen is so much better. I have a choice but who would ever want to return to where they were? My prayer for all of you reading this is that time would not be your stumbling block but God would act in the way He desires to act in His timing and us delighting in it!

Beyond that I cannot write many more words.

To Collin I wish to write this: How wonderful it is to hear and know in part what God is doing and showing you! I am so excited to converse with you when God so does appoint the time! Know you are in my prayers daily and I thank God dearly for the fellowship we have found in Christ together sharing all of who we are, fears laid aside! I praise God for the radical transformation He is doing in you and how quickly You are pushing on to sanctification! May that never stop God, who has a willing bond-serveant in you, He will do wonderful things through you and I wait to see the knowledge I know now fulfilled! When all is revealed to our brothers and sisters in Christ will we be able to contain the fire that begins, may we nurture it and may we praise the giver of the wonderful flames of living fire!

To Elise I wish to write: Your beauty, how can I not praise? The ways God has knit a thread count between us that has no number because we cannot see how much...but we know in part, and we see in part and that is beautiful. Continue to rely on His timing, as I know you will do! Kindle the flame, keep it centered and true, relying on Jesus soley, He will surely be more than enough.
JG

refocusing...grace & the ripple effect

So let's just say I am really excited to write this one because it's one of those "oh" things where everything seems to have been put into place by , guess who, the big G, the HS and JC. They together create and orchastrate something so beautiful I'm like "woah" that is so cool.shall we....

For a long time I have wondered what happens when all the major sins are weeded out in your life what lies beyond that? What lies within a man who has fully surrended, who has decided to not even be associated with sin! God provided that answer last night personally and for me to share, I had my first glimpse of what empowering grace truly feels like and is. And guess what it has to do with the whole pouring out thing. When one is filled he shows it to the world by good works. It is not forced and never should be but a soul surrendered will be changing the world!!!

I think about the three things which matter in life and will cause a ripple effect. Prayer, God's word, and inversting in the souls of men. And I didn't put it together until last night " WHAT WE DO ON EARTH HAS A RIPPLE EFFECT ON THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE HEAVENLY REALMS" What we do here matters big time, never feel you are worthless you must shine bright, because that is what the maker of all good things wants for you, to feel loved and able to make a difference!

One of my favorite verses is Daniel 12:3 " those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever!" Until today I never considered the implications of the fact that we should be doing good and never realized me not acceping God's reward in the ripple effect "heaven" was just like not accepting the blessing God wants to give me.( If you didn't know I struggle with feeling worthy in Christ, I AM!!!)

Sorry that was a wonderful sidetrack!

Anyways whenever I think about a ripple effect I think about that verse(Daniel 12:3) and leading people to Christ and the ripple of light that comes forth when we lead people to Christ, how the world is forever changed by that light added to it! I ask this question "why should Bono, Bill Gates etc. be the ones who do the rippling of light ie. good in the world. Why can't it be the church and the followers of Jesus? Why couldn't we sacrifice in passionate sacrifice for those non christians around us, sharing the Father's good love!

Actually I think I am going to go back to the sidetrack...when I think of me being worthless and the redical change God did last night!!! I think of one analogy. A man goes out into his garden picks fruit from a random tree he is not the planter of that tree...how does the man know that is a specific type of tree...he know's it is a fruit tree because it bears apples oranges etc...Without that a tree that is not bearing fruit can not be identified easily as a fruit tree. But hey if you are so full of fruit that it naturally is just falling off and people can enjoy the enjoyment that is fruit, they will know he is a fruit tree.

It says in John somewhere they will know we are christians by our love, they will know we are a fruit tree by our fruit. You get my picture. We need to be like the palm tree in Psalm 92 as strong as the trees in Lebannon, you know what I mean people who study the old testament!

We need to be bearing a lot of fruit and shairng that fruit with others who knows even a guy named issac Newton may sit under your tree one day and become a great man inpart to your fruit! We must bear in mind that none of this fruit as Romans 11:36 talks about comes from ourselves it is a gift of the spirit that is why it is called the Fruit of the Spirit, for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen!!!

Everything that we have is God's, Everything we do is because of Him, and everything we get for this wonderful things still belongs to Him. But he wishes to bestow it upon us, and if you don't accept, uh why? Your really lame if you don't. I still love you dearly but do it for your own good!

I think I am done, it didn't come out exactley as I thought it would but it never does. Remember one thing from this blog! Everything we do here has a ripple effect...in heaven...in hell...on Earth. as 1 Thessalonians says rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks...do not quench the spirit( don't know what that one means quite yet, I will though! ) , do not despise prophectic utterances, but examine everything carefully, hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of Peace Himself Sanctify you wholly and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete without blame at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ...the grace of our lord Jesus be with you.

yup! Ripple light!!!

JG

Refocusing...Needing some refocusing

I had the oppurtunity to take tommorow off, I decided to do so, I needed sometime to refocus. To refocus on who I am in Christ, who I am apart form Christ, and have a day at most with God and I alone, perhaps I will go hiking or go commune with God in HIs creation or I will choose the quiet of my room and my noise cancelling headphones. I am not skilled to understand what my God has willed what my God has planned for tommorow, we'll see.

I wanted to write to you all concerning this subject of refocusing. I say we do not do this enough. And I ask myself the question along with all of you why in a world where our focus can go so many other ways and we get distracted so easily, why do we not continually refocus our gaze, refocus who we are, refocus so we can be an even greater light than the one that we experience. I think of the illustration of a magnifign glass and how it focuses light. When we begin to focus the light that is eminating from all around us we can start a few fires...I know however when we focus the true light, by reading His word, and communing on Him, forcing our will to be aligned sacrificially giving of ourselves, practicing the disciplines Jesus gave for us to practice, we begin to focus and make a difference.

I was pondering today about what if Elise and I were to say no to God, don't freak out Elise, it will never happen. Say no to the area of being called to missions in SE Asia or whervever he may call us. Would He bless us? IDK The thing is it would bug our conscience until the day we died! We would always have a desperate longing for some change to be done, to be used in some big way so that God may be glorified!

Also in my devotion today I thing God gave some interesting direction from 2nd Thessalonians I feel these words were written for me " We have confidence in the Lord concerning you, that you are doing and will continue to do what we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.

I am one of those people if someone believes in me I can do anything but when I feel a downward force pushing me back into discouragment I don't desire to be anything than a bum. I thank God every day for the wonderous thing that is inside of me known as the Holy Spirit who encourages me and since my salvation have not allowed me to fall into pure nothing. I am encouraged each day that within me is the capacity to do just as much as Jesus did and even more, and yes that is biblical "greater works"Most certainly I tell you, he who believes in me, the works that I do, he will do also; and he will do GREATER WORKS than these, because I am going to my Father.
John 14:12

We must refocus though, it is a necessity

(PAUSE)

I just sat and read the past 3 months of what God has done in this life and around me. We must make an account of what Jesus has done, and we must constantly look forward towards the wonderful things to come gaining an eternal mindset but always remembering where we have come from. I wear three things on my hands as markers of where I have been some bad some good. My purity ring is a reminder of all the failures I have made in that area but also the new purity found in Jesus and His blood! A blue climbing rope braclet, to remind me of Nate, a friend who died last summer, and the joy and peace I have in Christ when there should be none. My CREW black braclet, a reminder of high school and all that entails, honesty lack of honesty depth lack of depth etc...

NEways i am going to post this but it will be tweaked at a later date, I am going to bed!

JG

Refocusing...Before the world wakes

I have been waking up before most of the world does and taking time in the car to be still in the early morning hours you know 4:30 AM or so before first light dawns on the world. This morning when no one seemed to be awake and everything seemed so still I found a peace that I really haven't felt in a long time. I went to work well, with a huge smile on my face. I swear everyone was llike what happened to him.

But I think with the prospect that my time table is switched with the rest of the world God is preparing me in a sense to the fact that my timetable is not the world my timetable is His will. To get devotional time when the world is still then being able to go out prepared for the day when it gets chaotic!

I See a lot of whats going to happen next year and WOW WOW WOW!!! GOD IS SO AMAZING!!! And knowing how blind I am now to any pophecy just forcasts that it is going to be so much more amazing than God will ever allow me to comprehend. I am truly captivated. This is where I want to be, I desire to be a sheep guided along by my Shepard!!! I am looking forward to a few events happening this summer one in particular but you will know when that happens I will title it "the event" you will know!!! Beyond that um well lets see.Prayer is offically the most amazing thing ever you should invest sometime in that. The bible is so amazing, you should invest in that. Being guided by the spirit blindly that's pretty amazing too. Being humble that's good too. Beyond that Cali folk I miss you but I like God better, sorry you don't compare. Don't take it personal he's like been my best friend since like I was four we got history!!!

Ooh also with the whole Asia thing my thoughts have always been that it's not going to be China. I was sitting in the food court this afternoon and something dawned on me it was an epiphany of sorts. It was one of those what if God wants me to go to Japan and do what He wants me to do. Then I looked at the fact we have Japanese at school. It is in the area. But who knows my thoughts were just wondering and perhaps maybe not. I'm blind, sorry, God's going to take me wherever He wants me to go. I do not have the answers currently and as my mom says God's 411 is always in the last possible moment rather than early. I think it's a character building exercise, He would know.

Anyways sorry for rambling, ooh one more note. Israel is at war, and Israel is not as big as the orignal land that it was promised by God. What will happen idk all I know is God will never let go of His promises especially for his chosen people! Israel I believe is going to get bigger they are going to grow and become the great kingdom they were originally suppose to be this of course is after a few things happen. Ooh I'm so excited!!!
JG

Arrows

Arrows from skies of blackest fumes
heart broken by this present time
Darkness shifting like the dessert dunes

And I stand, a monolith
and unshakable thing

Do I let these things get in my way
the books I've accumulated
getting in the way of the new day

And I stand, a monolith
and unshakable thing

Tears from mighty heavens
Earthquakes, war, and destruction
all because on the peoples sins

I desire to surrender, falling in love with you
Make me surrender, make yourself surround

And I kneel, face down
This is my desire to do
all the wonderful things
you have for me to do

JG

Refocusing...Grace means Enpowerment

I want to first apologize for the last couple posts, it seems sometimes that us bloggers can get away from meaningful things, from letting God speak through His beautiful wonderful scripture and we can loose sight of the fact that this, all this blogging, it's all about one thing... speaking to God's people and to the unsaved when apart to proclaim Jesus and his work in each of our lives. The importance of it is to tie all the seemingly chaotic things in our lives together to show the creators handiwork in it...

I would like to begin this post by praising God for the wonderful salvation of a new sister in Christ, Elise's mother!!! May we never forget the power & importance of persistent prayer and the workings of a most Holy Spirit!!!

I will also begin honsetly by saying that as of late I have fallen into a problem. I can no longer sit in a sermon and get anything new, maybe it is because of the value I have in direct inspiration from the Holy Spirit but I value devotionals much more over church, this is right because it is about the personal rather than the public. But it disturbs me that my personal has to be so much better than the public I feel two faced oftentimes. Undoubtably before I pin blame on the American church I pin it on myself and search my heart, but I believe and with much searching know for certain the church without the spirit as most of the American church is can do nothing more than mere man can do. That is a huge shame!

Reading a chapter by Tozer the other day and on our focus in things in the church God gave me a brillant insight. A denomination is no much more than the shadow of a man. Think about that for a second. It resides along the same fact that no greater has come from a theology school than the maker of that. A man can only found something lesser than himself. But as it says over and over in scripture the church is to be guided by the spirit and America has some great men and that accounts for all the working and wonders in most of it, but how much greater would it be if it were founded upon the spirit.

It is as Tozer chooses to say the three foundaitonal columns upon which the church is built is three events, the birth, the death, and the resurrection of Christ! To focus on merely one or give more importance to one will create something unhealthy structurally. To focus on the birth will keep christians with a perception of God as a helpless babe, and granted we are sheep in a world of wolves and ferocious creatures but as long as we keep close to our shepard He will protect and guard us! To focus merely on the Cross and the death will keep us teary eyed. To focus on Christ's resurrection that is where our perception becomes perhaps the best, a God of miracles a God who conquers, a God who defies gravity!

And I write this blog to focus on the fact that Jesus Christ, the grace given us, enpowers us not to remain in sin but rather
through His Holy Spirit residing in us. He will keep us on the straight and the narrow as long as we choose to focus on the column of resurrection, the beauty much like a pheonix. Something rising out of ashes to create something even more beautiful. What is coming if we choose this refocusing...something wonderful!

enveloped

There is a place
where few choose to go
a wonderful place

A place of absolute enveloping darness,
yet contradictory to itself
A place of absolute enrapturing light
a reason to fear

A copy has been made
which is just an old copy
we are the new

Copying God's ways
he ceased to learn His ways

but thank God there is marvelous light
enveloped in this ever present darkness
handiwork of Him

Acts 10

read it...reply back with what you see mentioned there by the angel when he comes to Cornelius, and what you don't see mentioned when the angle speaks wink wink!I will reply when I have recieved three answers!
JG

A Church without Purpose & A God Ordaining Something

I am forever amazed, quite astonished at all God can do over the course of twenty-four hours. How He can pursue so passionately and fervently everyone whatever country whatever state, whatever city, no matter where or how they are! I like many others who stand amazed at God's plan, stand amazed because God is real, He is in every nook and every cranny, ordaining things like a madman, calling His people to choices that are for their betterment, and He is orchastrating circumstance to balance perfectly as a sure testamant in pure chaos, this world has seen! I stand amazed and in awe!

I was attempting to get to sleep last night, I couldn't. Thoughts of things going on kept keeping me awake. I was crying, because once again I gathered a glimpse, a treasure amidst the darkness, and realizing that I am so undeserving.

An interesting thing has been happening as my perception of God has been growing! I find myself with an inifinite hole of sin seperating my savior and I. An ever increasing one. I am redeemed and thank God for Jesus, but have neglected the spirit on several occasions and I feared like a selfish child I had so much sin I was undeserving of God's promises. I am Worthy through Jesus and His Spirit! Nothing more nothing less!

God revealed something to me last night that I feel must be shared...we are a church without a purpose. Recently I have had issue praying again, mostly because of my aching body and the spiritual warfare going on there, I pray it is over, but as the spirit continues to gain strength inside of me pain is sure to grip this heart and therefore my body. I do not fear, I embrace what is to come. The power made perfect in weakness!

God told me this late last night" My church is a church without purpose, no direction, and no guidance, I am doing something, something wonderful, wake them up, begin to ask for that purpose to be restored, a direction to be given"
Guys, things are changing the Spirit is speaking listen! Give heed all nations His battle cry is raging, He is coming to our rescue, he is to silence a deadly foe for a 1000 years, that is something!

I ask you to do three things for God today and the rest of your life, pray, listen, and ask this question" what is God doing around me, where does my purpose lie, and to whom does it belong?

JG

What Ever happened

What Ever happened to Angels coming down
cascading down a glorious stairway

God writing on ancient walls
to say you have been weighed

What Ever happened to burning bushes
God saying this is hallowed ground

My heart is too sad to say
vanished are what the ancients thought
we forgot what they did to obey

And why does it seem to be so hard
to hear a God whose glory is renown

What happened to the days of old
when my God spoke so clear

My heart is too sad to say
vanished are what the ancients thought
we forgot what they did to obey

So let us change our ways
so that God may live in this new day
glorious unhindered
a beautiful sound

My God come, surround
be renown

It has been raining all day since last night,it is such a wonderful sound. Driving down to the Mill last night was one rain storm I will never forget, Thunder was pounding all around us and to see the lightening as bright as the sun truly a showcase. God is doing something with this bizarre weather, and with everything I see the dual nature of its purpose and how pathetic satan's atempts are to derail an unchanging God's final plan that he has worked and crafted since longer than he has been around, how foolish!

I am sitting at my computer listening to the wonderful drops falling from the heavens. It seems though that God is healing things and bringing new life as He so wonderfully does. Last night as the rain was pouring I had probably about 6 hours of conversations with people up until 4AM last night or this morning and God healed something that I had messed up because of a lack of honesty on my part. To not tell of what God is doing because of fear of hurting someone that is sin! That is what I learned last night!

God need not be defended because he is unshaking all the same, but we are to boast about out God, to tell to all the nations how good he is.

I heard a sermon once while I was in highschool about goodness, and not necesarily about witnessing to other nations but instead providing for their physical needs just as Jesus did: the necessity to share the goodness that God has blessed us with especially as Americans. But also know that that rediculous quote that if you teach a man to fish he can feed a family but if if you give a man a fish he can only feed himself, it applies! We must be willing to teach men to fish after we have fed them fish! We must lead them to water but not drown them by forcing them to drink to much that they forget to do other necessary things! We must give to each man what he needs from us. Beyond that we are to be providers! Knowing that there is a necessity in it all. We all play a part! We all play a vital role in what Jesus Christ is doing! Some more than others because we have accepted the responsibility that Jesus has given us to do. To do more we must live that radically different life, set apart for Christ! But we must accept the responsibility that God has given to us, this will take several years of prayerful consideration, and all sorts of sacrificial things, but that is what this life is about again. Our lives are about dying to ourselves and letting the Spirit take over, to do anyless we are not going to get what God wants us to get, which is a shame.

Anyways I have been up late two nights in a row so I am off to bed night!

JG

How beautiful it is to just sit here
to be still in my Savior's loving arms
to have the Holy spirit so near

How beautiful it is to be apart
to be unified together in Christ
to have aparant contridiction strike this heart

Jesus, you are my beautiful end
infitude that none comprehend

How beautiful it is to gaze upon Your eyes
to be and be still

Treasures of Darkness

I feel like it has been forever since I got the chance to just sit down and write and think, well kinda, but that knowledge is not for the present! I love the fact that I can do that, that I have enough direction from the last time God spoke to continue on till He speaks again. I like to boast about my God and how he has not given to us darkess but a light that illuminates everything!!!

I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, so you may know that it is I!- Isaiah 45

I was telling Elise I think last night that this time of silence is a test but it is also a time where God is speaking differently. Many of you have heard the analogy that God is always walking beside you but we don't always realize it because sometimes he is the one carrying us and there is only one set of footprints or something like that. I don't think that is necessarily the case but I think God is doing something different that I haven't interpretted correctly.

What I interpretted was silence was a lot like silence but it is more so like the treasures of darkness Isaiah speaks about. God gives us the oppurtunity in times of silence to find out who we are, I know full well I am a crummy person without Christ, that is a fact, don't try and change my mind! But I think it is also a time that God shows himself to us and moreso what transformations have really been made within us! It also switches things up in devo lives and worship lives to let us understand better who God is apart from the religous ritual we so often fall into! I think all of these things God is doing within me but one thing in particular I have realized as of late.

In regard to the treasures of darkness God is giving me something, far be it form me to know, but he is giving me something that should full well belong to the darkness. That's vague...sorry that's all I got as of yet. I know that this is the reason for all the spiritual attack as of late and why Satan wants me to get into a hole I often get myself into during the summer months. God is giving me something that he also gave the devil. That's sounds dark. Let me explain if I can. Satan although the adversary of our souls is a beautiful creation of Gods. Isaiah is the only book that accounts for the fall of Lucifer. It is my belief at this point that anything that Isaias talks about as darkness is just that belonging to the devil, but also as the Lord is shown throughout Isaiah and through the psalms the Lord makes darkness his covering. God is giving me something inside that darkness that I could not pocess if I were as clearly being spoken to in the same way. Things are changing and thank God they are changing for the better. Hopefully that made some since.

Anyways yah that's all I got it's odd to be so happy and content when everything seems to not be making sense. But that is the cool thing about it I wouldn't want it all to make sense cause then where would all the adventure go? Where would God acting outside of my knowledge be? I would never want my own knowledge to contain a God that is infinite!!! You know the whole fitting a big triangle through a tiny hole, that simply does not work.

Anyways chat with you all later, love you all.

JG

In Need of a Rock Band

So this one time...pretty much. Simplicity is just not working in my worship life as of late. I am in desperate need of a rock band!!! So as I am attempting to record the album that God wants without much direction from Him I find myself screaming how GOOD MY GOD IS!!! Screaming I LOVE YOU!!! Screaming to be heard yet knowing my desperate cry is heard!!! So I need to rock a little as of late, how to do that, um , have no idea but we'll see what unfolds! That's all I got.
Ooh I am debating on whether or not to go to camp for the third week, it would put me down about a hundred bucks in gas money but I think it is worth it we'll see what the job situation is looking like! But I couldn't help feeling today as I applyed at over probably forty stores trying to find a closer to my home job that might give me better hours. I found that all of this pursuit of money pursuit of providing is just refusing to let God be glorified. I mean for crying out loud I am probably going to live in Asia doing mission work, my mission work is in the workplace but WOW!!!! American society it needs a wakeup cry. We'll see what the next couple of weeks unfold to look like, and of course I will try and keep you posted!
JG

From ground level

I have recently been fascinating by taking pictures from the ground. And much like music seems to folow art and the expression there so my art reflects something about the music that is happening in my soul.

Currently and over the course of this summer God has been and will continue to teach me those few things I missed in the foundation of my christianity. Those in which I have had an improper view and an improper frame of mind on certain subjects. In order to do this I must focus on simple things He must start with the foundation work and fix that before anything else can begin to grow and be buillt. We must focus together on the ground and even what lies uderneath it! As I have said over and over again this is difficult because God is very much silent as he has never been before. He is an architect desiging this beautiful thing but he is not giving it to me the engineer the crafter of things to make it work easily etc because he wants it to be beautiful I must lay aside that part of me. I must surrender the planner and crafter I am. For this reason I know he has chose to let me walk in this silence, but if I know anything God is not done...praise be to the fact He will never be.

If anything I have learned this week is that God has lifted us up off the ground we often think, but oftentimes we must go back to the ground and realize that God is so vast we are still on the ground. We must relize that we are carrying eachothers burdens and helping others come into the deep beautifulness that is Jesus Christ! We are a body and everyone needs to play a part for thing to truly get done as God sees it. Salvation is coming and things are changing, what way should we approach this oncoming thing? Who knows? The only thing I know is that Jesus and His vast infitude will make sure things are in line. We must only gain the understanding that we are going to be called unto judgement and the name that is above everyname my blessed Jesus will save us if we have accepted him, but what must happen to us is one thing. We must decide, I want Jesus above all else, I want who He is to be shining forth in me! I want His Spirit to be flowing in a mighty precense around me! I want my God to look and say, I am a man of His own heart one that is beating in rythym with the wonderful chords that Heaven is playing! He must be all that we want He must be our one desire our one pursuit!!!

I was lost but I have found
My world revolves around You
I was far away and now
My world revolves around You

Jesus, my world without an end
No mind can comprehend
Though I keep trying
Jesus, my faith has found Your love
My hope has found its trust
My heart will beat the sound
My world revolves around

Though the sky should touch the ground
My revolves around You
I surrender, You surround
When my world revolves around You

Now my eyes are fixed on You
And I can’t look away
Cause all this heart was made to do
Is to offer highest praise
My praise, praise, my praise

-Revolve( Desperation Band)

Every time I walk away
You are here waiting
And even when I turn my back
You are still saying You love me
You love me

Every time I look at You
The world starts fading
When I hear You call my name
I can't help saying I love You
Yeah yeah I love You

I will never stop chasing
I will never stop running after
You are all I want forever

You are all I want
You are all I want
You are all I want

Chasing
Chasing
Chasing after You

-chasing(Desperation Band)

I am Yours, You are mine
I refuse to be denied
All of You, is my heart’s cry
I refuse to be denied

I’m coming after You
I’m coming after You
I’m coming after You

Though I’m weak, though I’m dry
I refuse to be denied
All my life, a sacrifice
I refuse to be denied

-Refuse to be denied(Desperation Band)

I was far away
But You found me and You made me want to stay
I was falling down
But You lifted me and turned my life around

Now I’ll follow recklessly
And I’ll love You with all that is in me

I am coming back ‘cause
You are coming after me
And I surrender now

When I lost myself
I came alive and You came into me
When I let it go
I realized that You are all I need

-Coming Back(desperation band)

JG

Glistening Wake

Let's just say camp was amazing, I can't get into all of the why but it was amazing!!!


Anyways though I found myself on the banks of the Colorado River this afternoon staring at the glistening water and silently praising my creator king, the author and perfecter of my faith and the wonderful prince (the bringer of peace and joy.) With knowledge of who my God is was and is to be and a heart welling up and tears about to break. I praised my God because behind Himself he has left and will leave a glistening wake, one of infinite beauty and incredible power. One that will shake the very foundations of the waters of this Earth. As Pastor Don always says" Oh Boy" what God has planned how beautiful, it is truly a glistening wake.

But because here I stand as a witness also to the present I will record what has happened this week.

I got the oppurtunity to go to camp something that I did not think I was going to be able to do because I had gotten back from school two weeks before camp started and if I got a job I would not be able to go because the prospect of getting time off, ya right! It came in a different form though, I had the time off from the begining making my own schedule but in order to go to camp I had to miss up an unsure oppurtunity for a promotion, I said in my last blog that I decided to go with the thing that was sure. I am reassured now that the sure thing was the salvation of a boy that I had the oppurtunity and joy of sharing God's love with for the first time.

On that note of leading people to Christ I must say that I am glad I have never had the oppurtunity to pray with someone and they accept Christ right there. Let me explain! It is a necessity to have people leading you but to pray a prayer...a prayer is a personal conversation with God and you alone. It has its place in community but there is a signifigant amount of prayer that needs to be done alone! A person accepting Christ at the least the ones I have seen been succesful are those decesions that are made by the persons themselves. There are definitley beautiful cases where God lets us know we are worth something by letting us share in the blessing that is salvation of others but I think we must ask ourselves what exactley is going to happen to these christians that have walked into a ground that they in part do not want to be in. If we fully want Jesus and all He has for us we must choose Christ and desire that above all else that is what will keep us pure our choices. The Spirit has an infinitley important part but we have not even begun to take hold of this Holy Spirit.

On another note I must record that sitting at a campfire last night sitting down with a man who is so intune with the Holy Spirit that he knows everything that is going on around him yet has enough common sense to know that all knoweldge is not profitable at every single moment for a fallen race. Having the oppurtunity to sit and chat and be so intune with one another that we were one in Jesus there is a place where one minute can change you more than three years of seminary. The words that were spoken last night and the knowledge that I knew he could not know apart from the Spirit of the Holy God( the prince of peace and joy) that is reasurance of things, that is the blessed communion that the saints of old talk about. "Oh Boy" this world is going to be changing !!!

For as I have learned this week and the continuance of a summer of learning those tenants and foundational keys of the christian faith I have learned this week that we will all be brought unto judgment we are cleansed through blessed Jesus but we are judged still as the non believer is to. We as christians must live in the light that sin will be brought unto judgement. All those lukewarm christians out there God I ask he change you cause the judgement you are coming to, I pray you will run with courage toward the plans that God has for you! Judgement is no pretty thing, we as christians know we are unworthy, but why do we act as if there is nothing coming to us in the hereafter there is no blessing that God wants to richly bestow upon us? Why must we act in accordance to what Satan has done and will use? I desire his head be chopped off, and he will be if sin is gone. We must run, and run with fervency...there is a glistening wake that Christ has left behind for us to follow to be on one side will mean that we are moved further away, may we always stay centered in Jesus, for he is the source of power, he is the source of all those wonderful things of which we have a desire. May God richly bless all of us and may we be a pure people, a passionate people, and a praying people.

I have seen that there is peace in the power of the Holy Spirit
I stand amazed from the ground I look up, and I see.
I am infinitley small but infinitley loved and blessed
and a glistening wake I have begun to see


JG

Looking up

Shall we? We shall...

Decision making and community

I'm trying to make a very important decision...the decision whether or not to go to camp this year. I have til tommorow. As it stands I worked a lot this week a total of 36 hours in four days, I have the oppurtunity to go to camp next week. But if I do so I may lose the oppurtuniy to move up and get a better job either with Foley's or a better job with American Eagle.

Here's what I know, God blesses us when we serve him. So therefore I have no worries in deciding to go...

The problem in my mind lies in the fact that God is often silent on issues like these a lot more these days...and me being a person who has always heard God I really haven't had to lie on past experience, I lived carefree hearing God, doing what God told me to do. Now since he hasn't been doing that I am forced to rely on past experiences to tell me what to do. I must look back on all that I have learned and decide, walking blind!

I have decided that I am gonna go unless something happens, no matter what may happen and if I have to work forever in the position as an XOC I will. I know God will bless it though.

(period)

New Subject:

I was sitting on my lunch break today sitting at the food court of Park Meadows, a very long table, as I normally do sitting with all these people who I don't know. I was listening to these two business men talking, getting to know each other simply caring about each other it was really awesome.

I have been learning a lot about community as of late especially in the fact that a real church is one where people have a conversation, and guess what disagree. I think we are so scared to start anything in our churches in our homes in our workplaces. But I say to you real community is when people from all different places, all different walks of life all different shapes, sizes, and colors cometogether as one. Oneness is so beautiful!

Anyways that is a snapshot of some things I've learned this week gonna be gone at camp next week! I will talk to you all later. For Dusty sorry I am cancelling on our date, hopefull we can do something tommorow, as in Sat.

JG

I'm gonna sit down

I've been feeling something different over the past couple days! I can't really explain it...well I probably can. I have a job doing all sorts of stuff for Foleys, which for all the CALI people it is a department store. They are switching over to Macy's so if that gives you a reference. Anyways they have me working all these odd jobs, repricing, straightening up, working the floor occasionaly selling stuff, organizing, pricechecking all sorts of weird stuff moving tables decorating...it's really cool cause it gives me something to do during my day. Things are undoubtably busy now I am working for 10 hrs with a one hour lunch break for the past week. You get home and you are exhausted...but after a while you get used to it. And the odd thing is I feel better each day. The thing is I think I am relying on God's strength more and more each day to get me up and moving by 5:15 every morning and do pretty much meaningless things with my life. Perhaps I'm not leaning on God more, but it is good because it forces me to spend my day being productive. Today though I was driving home listening to old hymns and wow it was amazing. God and I time singing full voice with the windows down in the stormy afternoon. It was awesome. I truly feel like there is another break happening. And I feel there is understanding where there hasn't been any before. I don't know what that means exactley but simplicity is speaking complexly if you know what I mean. I kinda missed a lot of points in the basic tenants of christinaity, we all have, and that either refusal or ignorance caused me to blind.

I started on my second album today, it's actually coming along quite nicely, I think instead of singing for most of it it is just going to be spoken voice...because I think music has power but it is words that speak more than the singing it adds iceing but I think it distracts we'll see what happens but I have the cover song done it's called fading symphony. It's all about that in order for a crescendo to come things must first be quiet. In there is a story of Jesus but also a prayer that all of us might come to change the world and realize a crescendo is coming, and everlasting crescendo!

Beyond that I really haven't had much time to just sit down, write, be still you know all that stuff. I have so much floating in my head that to actually make any sense of it would take far more time of alone that I don't really have the time for now, but it is coming!

To own a dragon is amazing you should pick up a copy and read it, cause it is just that good. Buy a hymnal while you are at it, they are pretty good too!

Once again, I am staying up really late when I need to go to bed. I want to say a few things before I go though here are the lessons I have learned this week!

1. Jesus was amazing, he is amazing , and will always be amazing!
2. Deal with your circumstances, knowing that God has placed you in them, never go for the temporary go for the eternal!
3. Malls are silly places, but it's good that God is in all the people in a crazyness around me!
4. Living in America takes a lot of money to live, even more reason to go to Asia!
5. 99c items and 1.99c items go to Ross etc and that is how they get good clothes they bid on them in boxes, werid!
6. traffic isn't bad at all, why do people think it is so bad. I guess it goes back to #2
7. donald Miller is an awesome peson and I am so glad that God gave him alot of crap and he rose up out of that!
8. Express is having a 60% off sale
9. You don't have much free time when you have a job
10. My parents are truly awesome people.
11. I've also learned a whole bunch of God things this week but those are for later blogs!
12. taxes take out a large chunck of your paycheck, but hey you get it when you least expect it!
13. Once again God is awesome, today, yesterday forever
14 And most important the Holy spirit that lives inside of me, is awesome
15 Devotionals are important
16 people don't want to cook when they are tired
17.yah I need to go to bed night!

When I was blind
I saw this line
Between bad and good
and this blurry kind

gathering pacing in my mind
a fading syphony
to softest music
kept coming yet not yet breaking

yet the crescendo was coming
this is that fading symphony

Eventually I will see
The very plans you have
And how I wait to see

Through him you will change the world
Through him you will show them peace
Through him you will

You will show the crescendo coming

The fading symphony
The softest notes of melody
Hope that is from thee

You will show the crescendo coming

Through him you will
You will change the world
You will show them peace

And he will be free

JG

Elephants & Work

It's odd the fact that I am working so much this week, that I really don't have a spare moment to sit and blog...sad but I'm sure purposeful. Anyways I had my first day of real work today, it was fun! I know that sounds weird but I get paid to do the things I love to do...

1. help people
2. be freakishly organized
3. Move around things

Anyways about the elephants, my most prized possesion is a rosewood elephant that my dad got me while he was in India. And if you know me you know that I am in love with Elephants, I should change my blog title. Anyways though, I am reading this book with my best friend and its so good we are going to probably read it straight through it's called to own a dragon by Donald Milller( so good) Anyways though he has this story in there about elephants and how if an elephant does not have someone to lead him along mentor him in elephant ways the elephant ends up stabbing rhinos and going crazy. But that stage only lasts for like a week in other elephants if they find a mentor etc...anyways back to the prized possesion I think it is cool that i have mentors now in my life that teach me wise ways and they lead me. There is a second elephant I bought and it's cool cause the stone elephant I bought is smaller than the rosewood elephant and they go together perfectly walking side by side. They younger elephant(the stone one) may be stronger but the stone one is more fragile it's a really sweet analogy I think I am going to write a poem about it sometime!

That's all the time I have time for hopefully tommorow will be better w, more me jabbing on about life but hey it's what I do!

JG

Windfall

How can I begin to describe
I am a mere scribe
to the workings of my God

How can I begin to comprehend
the people he has sent
to do all these things

How can I begin,how can I begin
to tell of all he has done
and all the things to come

winter had past, and spring is to come
In this quiet,this windfall
time had begun, a new fall

So I got this fortune cookie while I was at PF Changs the other day it said you are soon to experience an unexpected windfall. I was like hey what the heck is a windfall and I could probably right a poem about it oh wait I did how the wind often times gets rid of one stage of growth like in the fall and moves us to a place of winter away from new growth but it is a time of preparing etc blah blah blah...

But I have been realizing one thing about that word and all it's implications.

Elise and I always seem to manage to find our inspirtation for our blogs in the same book of the bible, I doin't believe this to be mere coincidence. She wrote in her last blog about there being a season for everything it is so true there is a season because God is not a God who chooses to breath in one place, he breathes on dry bones as Ezekial talks about, he is breathing everywhere we merely need to listen to this beautiful harmonium of the heavens. He is breathing in every season just like the wind, and although this is fall for me and i am going through a transition, the foresight of winter coming, it is beautiful. Oh and Spring!

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing;
6 a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboreth?
10 ¶ I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out
the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.
13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God.
14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God
doeth it, that men should fear before him.
15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

I want to focus on verse 14 and 15 for a while trust me this might be a long one because one verse in this wonderful book known as the bible a man could spend his entire life on one verse and never know all that it contains it's simply beautiful ...I have been focusing on fear and my lack of it the last blog or so, and do I think it coincidence that tonight when God reminded me of that fortune that he eventually bring me to this passage,trust me there is way to much coincidence to be mere chance, it is divinity at work. From speaking through squirrels to the last leaf clinging to a tree to a fortune cookie God has his hand in it all.

I know this much that God if he is going to go something it is going to be eternal not in our timing, we have no say in changing the outcome but are mere vessels of facilitating it, and this is why we fear! God is a God of infitude, who has the ability to take away everything at a moments notice and yet has enough divine wisdom to keep his plan intact, we are not even worthy of being called pawns! God is good but he will take care that our hearts our being shaped properly if we truly desire that, he is o so powerful, and he is not tame. He is my God whom I serve, and whom I should serve alone. We worship Him because he is worthy to be worshipped not because he has done stuff for us, he is God free will aside and even free will in the picture we will all kneel and we should fear the fact that God is a God so vast and so hugely different than anything we could even possibly comprehend and when we sin we will have to know that the reason we are allowed to go is because the very man that sits at the right hand of God the Father deciding in his grace to set us free from our enemy.

We are free, we must act in accordance with that!

seasons change, and time flows by
A mighty river I have seen in my eye
Of saints in royal robe enthroned,
and grace in infinite number bestowed

I am a mere scribe
to these things I describe
to the workings of my God

This windfall that I see...it is pure beauty it is the beauty in the gray the thing that is not tangible yet is and can not be seen but the effects can! I see God working and am finally content I hope in the fact that this is where I need to be and will starting acting in accordance to the new! That is what I hope to behold in the view to which I persue.

JG

Vanity of Vanities

I have had a problem that has been developing for a while, I have everything! My life is one of pure blessing as I see it.Believe it or not that is a problem. I am called to fear God but all I see him as is a God who bestowes his richest blessing upon me. I pray he would get me to surrender wholly each day but is that the path of blessing I wonder? All I have known Him as is a God who loves, how can I get a God of wrath into my mind when I see God working in every facet of creation and his plan pretty fully most of the time. I understand that God is a God who has infinite character and each aspect of that but I see the next step in my walk as fear and because that is such a radically foreign concept for me it is going to take some reworking of this heart and mind.

I don't really know where to begin other than with the words that Solomon wrote when he was king. In Ecclesiastes he had everything anyone would desire and he had wisdom also but it caused him to look at the world and say" vanity of vanities" to everything he saw. I look around me and feel a lot the same way it only takes me about a week of being back home to be so depressed with the lack of movement here that I coup up in my room trying to pray to the end that there would be movement again, yet that often is to no avail because of the whole free will aspect, that kinda pisses me off. It won't stop me from praying but I am frustrated. Who knows maybe it is out of pride that I speak wanting a change so I can brag about my God and how he used me but the thing is I am only a vessel I am not the hand that moves the vessel. The spirit is that hand!

Back to the fear aspect, that is one of the roots of the problem. I see God working in everything and there is no place where I do not see His hand in and that causes me to beleive that we really don't have any power at all and really shouldn't take initative. I think it is probably more so than most people think but I am way on the otherside of things in that and I wonder is that wrong? When do we know we need to take intitative when the spirit prompts us and we get butterflies? I don't know I know when the spirit has prompted me and I act in accordance with that . I think we should probably do a little more of just listening for the spirit's prompting rather than rushing to do all these things. But like the one thing that my best friend in SLO has taught me don't do something to do it, do something because it actually does count and matter. What matters and counts are two things "the word of God" and "the" souls of men. One must ask themself the question did I spend my day today on both of those. As of late and in this place I am unable easily to do that, that troubles me and pisses me off. I am putting things in motion so I can, but it upsets me greatly that this is not and enviroment where that is easy to do.

I long so desperatly to just have a conversatioin that means something that helps someone and allows them to see the face of God shining whether through me or His word. This place is blessed don't get me wrong I just wish for it's sake it would be more!

JG

Silence

I have had a lot of time to be quiet over the past couple days, to sit in quiet reflection of the wonders in which God has showcased and to finally I think begin a process of preperation for the things that are coming next year!

It's so interesting in this place of my childhood, realizing how incredibly blessed I am in the place God has put me in. I have looked back on my journal entries and I want to say something that I realized God is good!!! He is so good! I look at the pictures look at the incredible wisdom God has graced me with this year and my heart can't help but be warmed.


Feather of dove
Feather of light
Lovely embrace pure delight
Falling from heaven above

Prism of every shade all of them grey
Walking blind in this new day

Feather of crow
Feather of the night
memories of dark fright
weed from the ground below

And grey the color of this song
Blurry line back and white to which we belong
like a babe,carried along

Feather of an Angel
feather of awe
The things you saw
Eyes that have seen it all

Prism of every shade all of them grey
Walking blind in this new day

Feather like a tear
trickling down
rippling to the ground
Spashing, releasing my fear

JG

Prophecy of the deaf

I walk forward, into this darkness
I find myself blind,
But I trust

And embracing this silence
The prophecy of the deaf
The difference in things

There lies a grey beauty

The sound of silence
Different yet so amazing
Peaceful, yet so unsettling

I find the light in unfamiliar things
In this turning of things
God rippling through this apathetic ink
Sound of thunder in midnight hour
Rain pattering on black window

A dedication, once again I come
To the alter I lay it all down again
Manifest and true

Embracing the Silence

What happened to what Christ and I had?

What happened to the childlike faith within me?

not not being silent but embracing it...

In accordance with that...I am not going to blog until my personal walk is healthy once again!

JG

Cleaning Closets of the past

I am sitting here watching probably the most bizarre clouds I have seen in my lifetime. I feel God calling me to blog on such things but how it is going to tie into the idea I had going earlier about cleaning out my closet I have no idea.

I came back from Cali noticing one thing, my room was not liveable. This was not beacuse my parents had moved things into it but rather that I didn't care about function I cared about looks so much during the high school years that I kept all these things that were unecessary. For me being an architect noticing that the room of the childhood of my past was not the one I would want now, that was not good. I think I realized probably one thing above all else living in a dorm this year, you don't need much to live with except clothes, a bed, a roof, food etc. and in essence starting over your life pretty much you don't have much clutter there. Everything there is planned for a highly functional place,most importantly the only reason something would be there is if you brought it with you. I have gained an eternal mindset this year, all excess should probably be burned... i don't mean all excess because God wants to bless us but I am merely asking the question what is all of its purpose if it is excess?

This refitting of new thoughts into old places is not going to be easy but it is best. I remind you that the newer is often times better than the old and should be incorporated at all costs because it is better.

Back to the clouds anyway, this is the first sunset I have seen in Colorado, things are much different here than california the wind howls and blows gustily sunsets are no longer on smooth oceans but riged peaks. Things go up quick construction wise it is not like the SLO life. It rains for 15 minutes than stops for and hour than rains again for twenty then is done not the three weeks of solid rain I experienced over there. It thunders here, a lot. However, most importantly though the difference is this is the place of my childhood I need to get rid of a lot of this clutter in my room and in my life , things about my past that I don't like, and although I have moved on it is time to face them to deal with things, change things for the better, for the uncluttered life, for one of only necessity!

I miss dearly every single person I know in Cali and beyond, but a lot like my closet and moving in general things need to be organized and certain things need to be packed and laid at the bottom first in order to make sure the top does not topple over. That is my closet, and I think for the first time I feel good about being here, as Phil told me I need not worry, God is in control! These emotions and these tears I have been having lately they are because things are so good, but I need be ready at any moment to give it all away and rely soley on God, I'm not there yet.

I was reading last night Passion and Purity and one thing that stuck out above all else is we are God's we are not entitled to anything, least of all the grace bestowed upon us and the blessing, God gives to the undeserving, crowns the sinner by His grace and by His love! That's reason enough for me to give it all away. Reason enough for me to stay here seeing things I have never seen before that are bizarre, like those clouds tonight, but I'll tell you something they are most certaintly of God. There is reason enough for me to clean out the closet of my past and make this heart a temple fitting for a Holy Spirit!
JG

Phoenix

Miles above the lightning
There is candlelight here
I commune with You

A remembrance of things

Amidst all these people
Lights in organized fashion
So faint, yet so beautiful

A reminder of things

In peaceful skies
From foggy place
To clear sunset

A remainder of things

1000 miles away
Here I shall stay
Until the phoenix rises

A renewal of things

Time Enough to be Still part 3

Written at LAX

It is an odd place to be crying, the Las Angeles Airport, that is. I don’t think I could, actually I know I could not put into words all that has happened this year and how truly awesome it has been. So I should probably stop titling the blog the same thing part 1 etc. cause I’m never going to be able to put in adequate words what God has done...I scarce can take it all in.

I sit here with a smile on my face yet crying…not knowing if I have died as I said in my last blog, oh how blissful heaven be if this only a reflection. I can’t wait to be in my bed tonight and praise, cause God is far more worthy than we make Him out to be. God is Good! God is Awesome!

It’s like Elise said it’s as if God is putting everything into place that no one can screw it up. That is bliss that is my God!

As I continue to say everything is cleverly orchestrated, and wonderfully crafted and we God’s people are soaked in God’s presence!

I hope we do realize that. Out creator is a master planner a conductor of the cosmos!!!

God has told me today I do not need to withhold information secret any longer, perhaps because I am not a part anymore physically of the revival that is consuming this state I’m a part of a different thing for the while. God is in control and as Elise also said God is making this thing so foolproof that God will not not be glorified through it all. It’s ridiculous! Yet amazing!

I have stopped being all emotional for the while and I will wipe my tears away so I will sit in God’s presence watching the sunset!

Strange how something we have crafted here on earth, God still can speak through it, and He can find us anywhere we go. He endlessly pursues us to the corners of the Earth. Where we may go He will follow, actually more He will lead! I like that! I don’t like being in control, we are not meant to be. I think that is why as I look around I see so many miserable people around be; they know they are not meant to be in control, they don’t know what is though. I do! Let me tell you it is so Good! Whoever said that the Christian life was not one of blessing, oh how far they had gone from God, from relying upon his presence as the guiding light. I think blessing is another thing I need to define but that is an entire paper in itself and I figure when I get to it God’s timing it will be such! I will say it in one sentence though you are a blessing and everything around you is a blessing because it is all crafted, and it is crafted so incredibly!

I will make one other note before I do close my laptop; I have so much caffeine in me right now. On top of that the Holy Spirit. It’s like Kalen says after I come back reeking in God’s presence after Celebration each Sunday night, “Elise don’t let him have coffee anymore.” This is of course after sometimes I do not have caffeine in my system. So funny! Yah I am going to close this thing now, have a great evening all of you or if you read this in the morning good morning and have a great day. Pretty much just enjoy the fact that God is so Good and get on your knees, it’s so good to do!

Know you who read this are in your prayers, I do not know all who read it but I do keep you all in my prayers.

Night,
JGG

Time Enough to be Still part 2

It's really nice to sit for a while, everything is ready to go!

I had to say goodbye to my two best buds in SLO this morning and it was hard, but as always things don't work out the way I often think they do, which is one of the things I have finally been able to grasp these last couple days and perhaps is the last great lession I was supposed to learn. The best laid plans of man apart from God fail! God is so concerned with our heart condition that he is not going to let things go our way til he knows our hearts are aligned with his will. That takes a little shaping! That is what summer is going to be about... a little shaping in my heart!

I know though and will definatly cry on the plane ride home not because this time is sad , but becasuse I am so happy, I am so blessed, and am so grateful and my heart wells up in praise for all God has done this year. When the Moravians talked about not knowing if they had died and gone to heaven, it is something like that!

I am reminded that God keeps His promises... that is truly awesome!

God is good!

JGG

Time Enough to be Still part 1

Who is like our God? And who can compare to his endless love? The angels sing! The morning in its splendor speaks a lesser word than He! He is the great I am! Who was and is to come!

I have long sat in wonder at this Mighty King. And to say that I fully know of his matchlessness would be a lie!

I have long stood in awe of this King. Lifted my hands and praised him with all I can give at that present time!

I have long heard his unbearable but soft voice . I have answered and have seen because of it his matchlessness.

I have taken time to be still. And have found comfort in the unsettling thought!

And the words still echo, who is like our God? Who can compare?

I sit at the end of this year, and I want to throw a big party, not because of the end of school, but because there is a path that He has laid out that is the most amazing path! It is so amazing!

I can't seem to gather any signifigant thoughts because the simple is so profound in the deepest way!

And as I sit in my barren room there is life in a much deeper depth here...although there is a necessity for the difficult times ahead, God is faithful. God is strong! God is amazing! God is love! God is beauty! God is joy, peace and understanding! And I feel like crying because God is so good. And although I may have to say goodbye to this place I love, I am filled because of this place, God's chosen place!

And I find that I am so satisfied but it is not the time to remain complacent cause there is a deeper life past the deep. If only we could be pure enough to remain in the filled place.

And as I take time enough to be still tonight I am amazed, I am speechless, yet filled with so many thoughts so many words, that I want to speak because of God being God! but for now I will refrain I will enjoy the evening I will enjoy the transition time praising God for being matchless, endless, and more than the less!

Bravery

Wise men who sit and see
All life's mysteries, the grandiose mystery
Scattered thoughts put together
perhaps forming a greater mystery

Reasonings, and empty things
Thoughts and lies, prayers and honesty
a monumental bravery

And we seem so often scattered
but we are tied together as one
Like the mighty ocean's waves
moving us together in unity

Things we see and things we don't
The better do we understand
Blessings, could we ask for more

The Spirit moving, deeper ways understood
The sound resonating, a mystery
The lesser thing, scattered
lesser perception of the undertaking

And we seem so often scattered
but we are tied together as one
Like the mighty ocean's waves
moving us together in unity

Beauty, mystery, oh the unseen!

JGG